| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:39:27 AM | | Very simple...they don't love you. Ignore what men SAY...pay attention to how they ACT | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/6/2008 3:49:21 PM |
Because we cannot chase them,club them and drag them back to our caves.
The good ole days!  | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/6/2008 5:30:09 PM | | Sometimes...it is just not meant to be. Just smile and move on. Something much, much better awaits you! | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:01:56 PM | Becasue they convince them selves that they can live without you. If they can't, they WILL be back. Mark my words. It might take your letting them go and moving on, and allowing them the space to move on or decide to come back.
Some men can't commit, just as some women can't. People have different wants, needs, expectations, goals, desires and it's difficult to match up pairs of the opposite sex where those things come alongside one another in harmony! | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/11/2008 1:52:21 PM | I can't BELIEVE I am going to stand up for "them", but I am a woman who, depending on the situation, has also been known to run away :( So dont go singling out the gents.
I just get scared is all, and I'm assuming men do the same. | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/11/2008 2:54:02 PM | Let's all look at it in the human mind .
Why do people run away from a relationship it could be that the person was hurt in some time or another and is afraied to make a Commitment .
I heard every exscuse in the book such as im not ready for a relationship,can we just be friend's u name it i heard it all it is a way of them saying hey im not interested some dont even call or send a email but in there profile they want a long tearm relationship.
This is not just men it's women to and some out there have a hard time letting go of there past and get cold feet and run and some have trust issue's where they want to start a relationship but dont take the time to heal them self's first and some jump in to another relationship just because they are afraied to be alone.
So that may exsplain why some out there run away with out saying good bye or saying im sorry maybe they afraied they dont want to be hurt again .
It's my opion that if a man or women wants a long tearm relation ship they must first ask them self's are they ready for it are they over there past one are they ready to make a comitment. Or in some case's if a women ask the man do you want more kid's do you you want marriage ect that it self can scare off some one what if the man dont want any more kid's or marriage .
See i learn this in life to let my past go i cant repair it i cant go back in time to change it but i learn from it and move on it's all in the mind.
It's mind over matter you can complish anything if only you set your mind free from what's hurting you in side .I believe the that most people run away from any kind of relationship it all has to do of not letting go of the hurt and are afraied of being hurt.
make your own conclusion's but this is only my opion. | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/11/2008 3:54:39 PM | It's not the leaving that hurts. Or the reason for the leaving. Anyone has a right to leave if they are not happy.
But a guy that disappears and just stops calling. It just happened to me, straight after Christmas. Its like being tortured. The guy you once chatted to every night now refuses to speak to you. You go through worry, doubt, self blame and just good old fashioned pain.
I got some closure in the end, but no explanation. Maybe it was even my fault, but if I don't know what the problem was how can I ever change? I am sure girls do this too as previous posts have said. I think it is just cruel. Like a cat keeping an injured mouse for days.
I am trying to recover, move on, but it still hurts like hell. The disbelief that someone you thought cared for you could suddenly be so utterly cold and heartless.
There seems to be no decency or honesty left in dating anymore. If you want to end it. END IT. Anything else is just unkind. | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:08:42 PM | Men don't like confrontation like that. Come on...get with the program. If he vanishes...just move on. He found something or someone else more interesting...or his wife found out he was on here and threatened to post the pictures of him wearing her lingerie on Craigslist. Happens all the time.
If he vanishes...it just means he didn't have the guts to be a man and say what's wrong...he's afraid you'll cry...or give him a guilt trip...or slash his tires...or a combination of all the above. | |
|
| |
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:05:01 AM |
Because we cannot chase them,club them and drag them back to our caves.
We can't? Since when?
Why was I not informed?
*runs back to the cave to releast the latest one*
 | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:20:41 AM | Who knows...but danged if I'm not thinkin of hiding all their shoes, car keys, and pants....hey, maybe just the pants....that'd work!     | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:52:54 AM | Sure I know about the whole just move on thing. But we are talking about this happening right after christmas, 2 months of dating, having spent 6 days staying at his house (and he asked me to stay longer.) We are not talking about a guy I just had a few brief chats with.
There was no confrontation. Merely a desire for closure. And I am moving on. I was merely stating how painful it is. And I understand how the girl who started this thread is so badly affected. She was with him for months and months.
And you may say it happens all the time but it has never happened to me before, in many years of dating/relationships. I wonder if it is a long distance thing? ie that they know they will never have to bump into you again and so take the easy way out; easy for them that is... Perhaps I am old fashioned but is it too much to expect a guy to politely say goodbye? | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/12/2008 2:48:14 AM | What i see here in this topic it sounds to me that just because one man may of done it maybe he had a reason we will never know the truth because we all where not there to see how he was feeling there for i feel it's not right to turn around and do that with out first saying something to her first.
But in any case women do it to they are no angel's either it work's bouth way's.
I for one have been there i had my heart broken and trust me it dont feel good at all but as much as i was hurting i realized that there was nothing i could do about it so i took the next step and started to heal but became more careful who i went out with.
You see love it self is not bought with car's jewerly ect it's in the heart and it take's trust to beable to have a long distant relationship work.
When i was in the army i was station over sea's and i would see men talking to there wife's,girlfriend's on the phone and also seen some men find out there gal has left them for another man in the states because they where so a lone.
So my point is that no one on this earth is a angel it shouldn't be alway's pin on the man so one man dose it it dont make the rest bad as the same as women not every one is the same way.
But i do feel for her at least this jerk should of called and said hey im sorry i want it to be over insted of not saying anything at all.
The old saying go's what go's around come's around what he did to her sooner or later it will come back to him . | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/13/2008 2:27:41 PM | I had almost the same exact "flighty" man you did. Difference is, I knew this guy for 15 years because we were in middle school together. I ran into him on a networking website and he basically jumped on cloud 9, skipping the other clouds. I was VERY skeptical because I had no intentions of being more than friends with him. Even after talking for two weeks I was still reluctant. He was saying things like, "You complete me" and all that stuff. Me being a Christian, I knew that wasn't true because only Jesus completes me and should be the same for him (he's a Pastor's kid). Anyway, he currently lives up north which he has been there for a few months with a relative. Supposedly, he makes really good money working for his relative but it took all he could to book the plane ticket. Yes, I know tickets are not cheap but geez. Anyway, as soon as he flew in to town, he came by to see me. It was nice seeing him after so many years. We went out to a restaurant with a few other people but even then things seemed a little accuard(sp?). I ended up paying for the drinks even though I could have sworn he had paid. Just for the record, I don't believe that a man is required to pay for the whole date. Well, I noticed after that reunion, the phone calls started to slack off but not by much. The following Wednesday after Christmas, we were set to go to a sporting event, just me and him. Again, it was really accuard and uncomfortable. I got the feeling it wasn't necessarily the chemistry, I think he was stressed about something (probably money). While we were at the game, we really didn't talk that much. After the event, we went to the movies and for the most part, the night ended ok. After that, I didn't hear from him. No phone calls, no text messages, no emails...nothing. I have talked to his brother though and he doesn't know what's going on either. He said that his bro hasn't said ANYTHING about what happened between us.
I knew everything was starting off kind of fast but after talking to him, we did have things in common and plus I did remember him from back in the day. I've been single for 9 years and I am preparing myself for marriage. I have very good instincts and I don't think this guy strung me along on purpose. There are so many possibilities as to what happened. We always had good conversation when we talked on the phone so neither one of us is a bore. I thought maybe too he got intimidated by me because I am very attractive and he maybe thought he wasn't good enough for me. I have a BS degree from a major university and I live in a beautiful apartment. He has two kids from previous relationships and he has made other mistakes in his past. I believe in second chances so all that didn't bother me. According to his brother, he just doesn't know what he wants right now. He is kind of just trying to find his way. Of course I'm like, he still should have said something.
I wish he would have just given everything a chance instead of running off. At the least, we could have been friends. And who knows, it maybe would have grown into something later. I guess people just don't have time to build things anymore.
What do you guys/gals think? Sorry this is so long but I just write alot.  | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/13/2008 2:43:22 PM | 1.....doesn't want to commit
2....relationship is moving to fast
3....mid life crisis
4....need time to think
5......i am afraid
All said to me in a nutshell........but If he loves me and I set him free, and he comes back to me...all the better....if not, I move on!!!!!
Marti
  | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:34:00 PM | Thanks marti!
Number 1 is understandable. He is only 30 years old but he was the one doing all the talking at first. He sounded like he was ready for a committed relationship, even though I wasn't with him. I just wanted to be friends first.
Number 2 is very possible. But I'm not sure if he realized before, during, or after the plane ride that it was moving too fast. He's the one who started off going 180 mph...
Number 3 is also possible. Isn't he a little young for a midlife crisis?
Number 4 is something that occurred to me as well. I'm not sure exactly what he needs to think about. Maybe his future?
Number 5 occurred to me as well. Maybe he did get scared because of the type of woman I am. I hope he didn't think I was financially stable because I'm broke as a joke. From what I hear, men like to be needed or something of that nature.
All in all, I'm new to the dating game as an adult. I haven't dated anyone since I was 18 and I'm 28 now. That's pretty bad but true.  | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:54:42 PM | | Some men are just afraid for their past. Some men can preach to heal but arent healed themself. Someone who has a criminal past should disclose it to their potential new mate. Honesty is always the best policy. Some people will not want to be with someone who was convicted of a crime against other woman or children. If you cant talk about your past because you are scard for the feelings it brings up you yourself are not healed to the point of starting a new relationship. If you are truely able to trust your new partner you will have to ease and trust to tell them EVERYTHING!! and not hide behind its all the other persons fault. Your belife that all there are not good people out there is very closed minded of you. | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:54:55 PM | You kind of lost me in the last two sentences because I really couldn't understand what you were saying.
From what I understand, during the initial phases of a relationship/friendship, I don't think that "I've been arrested a few times" tops the list of icebreakers. No one likes to shed a negative light on themselves. Also with him being a Pastor's kid and all, maybe he is a wee bit embarrassed.
Anyway, I was willing to overlook that as long as he was not continuing that same behavior and I got the impression that he was trying to better himself. I'm sure there are plenty of good ones out there and I will move on. Right now, I'm still in the "I need an explanation" phase; it's only been two weeks. | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 2/3/2008 6:25:01 AM | | I have found with guys that they put you in a position to see if and how far they will get. If you don't follow through with every detail they run and never look back. Don't worry I keep saying there are more fish in the sea..happy fishing...sweetlady39 | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:36:22 AM | They are spineless, cowards and ladies we deserve more....Men,run away in my opinion because they've found themselves in a situation they cant cope with and instead of being straight with the other person they run....also, they've probably got issues and are selfish p.i.g.s..... enjoy :) | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:53:18 AM | well usually when the guy is hot and heavy for you on the first days -he just want not you but your behind, treating you like a piece of ocasional meat. If you give it to him, -he was right about you and he moves on.
Non of my friends, men who respect women and are trully interested in them will try to get them to bed without some kind of shared feelings first, non of the respectable girls would also go for that... | |
|
| |
| why do men run away?
Posted: 2/5/2008 12:02:44 PM |
It's the most logical way in most men's minds of ending the relationship
When someone has told you they care for you why would it be logical for them to just disappear without giving an explanation? Surely the most humane way would be to say it isnt working for you? It is hard to trust and show your feelings to the next person after this has happened in the fear you will be ignored again.
I tend to be very cold and emotionless when I end it. Either way I know I'll be attacked, insulted, guilted, or she'll bring up issues from the past and begin assaulting me with reasons why she should have ended it first.
Still best to end it humanely, not all women are like that. If they do attack you after you have given the explanation then it seems fair to ignore, at least you have done the decent thing previously.
I make no judgment that men are any different, they respond often in similar ways.
Yes women are naturally more emotional than men
I know i will probably be slated for this but i see threads all the time on here of mainly men moaning about women never replying to their messages and saying how rude it is, and these guys have never known these women, they are strangers but cant understand why women get emotional when men do the disappearing act a few months down the line. That isnt logical to me  | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:35:07 AM | | Just remember " it's hurt people, who hurt people"......... | |
|
| why do men run away?
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:43:29 AM | Its not just the men that run away, we women do too!
I have noticed since I have I have run just as quickly as most men. Its all about comfort and our walls that we have. I have met plenty of worthly men, but I have jumped ship with a quickness to save myself and my feelings.
Men are really no better or worse then us. They do see things differently then us, but when it comes down to it, men are made with the same feelings we are and can be hurt just as easily.
Sometimes we run, when we see something we dont like in a person and to save the other persons feelings, we do not contact you anymore. Yes that is very cowardly I know. But I have been placed in both sitiuations where I was told the truth and when I was nver contacted again. And let me tell you, it hit my ego alot better never knowing the truth.
Good luck sweety, the right guy is out there for everyone!
Syn | |
|
Home
login 
