| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 4:47:31 AM | | First of all,I was not snooping! it came right up on his computer! He and I always use each others computers,so that wasnt the issue! We met online! so the issue I have is,why when I was away from him,did he feel the need to go to these sites?!OH,and the younger women were on this site 20-25,he sent mssgs like "Hi,let me spoil you, and wow,you wanna talk sometime?"We are very much one on one,Iam even wearing a first promise ring! I realize men look at porn,but the mssging other women,now thats an issue! | |
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Eric48
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Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 52 | |
| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 5:51:24 AM | jazzgirl2006;
I'll assume your man is in his forties ... maybe he's just going through a phase, you know, kinda like a mid life crisis.
As far as the porn goes, I think the general consensus is that guys will probably always look at that stuff ... but it's clear some of his other activities have given you cause for concern.
I'd certainly talk to him about it in a calm rational manner. Maybe you could have him take you to Michael's on East for dinner and find out exactly where you stand as a couple, before you expend a lot more effort on your relationship.
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 5:55:43 AM | We are very much one on one,Iam even wearing a first promise ring!
WTF you mean there are degrees to promise rings?
Like what a 1st, 2nd and 3rd strike your married sort of thing?
Is that still going on at our age?
I thought that went out back in high school?
You may want to talk to your guy instead of us, if he's contacting other women I would start to wonder about the one on one thing as well as the quality of that ring have you had it appraised yet?
What Eric48 said but don't be afraid to take him there he may be more obligated to fess up if you're picking up the tab.
Hey you two ever think of hooking up yourselves? | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 6:25:27 AM |
First of all,I was not snooping! it came right up on his computer!
If the messages started popping up, without any action on your part, then it means his computer is infected with spyware. It’s not him sending those messages; it’s just some crap program running amok on his computer. It happens. Especially if he is using Internet Explorer. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 7:45:36 AM | I'd give him the links I use...
It's just porn it's not rocket science.
Besides, I write porn for a living.....I wouldn't date someone who didn't surf porn sites.
Live and Let Live
Sex after porn..........yummilicious and ooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrgggggggggaaaaaaasssssssssmmmmmmmicccccccccccccc | |
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tie
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Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 56 | |
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Eric48
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Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 57 | |
| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 9:12:36 AM | ^^^ Man-behaving-badly;
Yes, I did think about it (briefly) ... an attractive lady, the right age, lives in the same town ... but, she's also very much in a relationship with someone right now.
So ... it ain't gonna happen.
===============
OT:
jazzgirl2006, you'll get it worked out ... you just needs to fit that bad boy up with a collar.
I got some great porn over here though ...
case you get bored
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 9:14:22 AM |
WTF you mean there are degrees to promise rings?
Like what a 1st, 2nd and 3rd strike your married sort of thing?
^^^ that's brilliant!... 
and @ OP - what would you like us to tell you that you already don't know? Why do you think a bunch of lonely ppl on a dating site will tell you something more than he himself? ;)
Whether it's good or bad, you need to talk with EACH OTHER, not behind each other's backs..
especially now that you have the FIRST promise ring.. (damn, that cracks me up lol) | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 10:51:24 AM | | Again..its not the issue so much about the porn! Geez,Iam in my forties, I know and have seen porn a few times,as well as just about anyone else in this world! its not hard to find,the issue I had was we were apart a few days and he was messaging other women on this pof site!! we had not been arguing or anything,just was very hurt,guess it started from his excitement over viewing the porn? and for those of you who dont know what the hell a first promise ring means,its pretty much a statement that the two of you are one on one,and possibly will have a future together someday,old-fashioned? not really,just a mere token of love and commitment,its given out of love, not society rules! | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 11:00:20 AM | | Hey watching porn is ok,just not sick porn you all know what I mean too,your guy my dear well I would rather have live porn with my lady then watch it on my PC,lol...So I think your guy is not YOUR guy,If you need a ring to know you and he are an item well then think again his deeds towards you should tell the story not the items he gives you.Have some faith in yourself,tell him to hit the road,the right man will come along. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 11:00:40 AM | No reason to worry about the porn watching as three pages of this thread have told you the general consensus is that it is not a big deal. I would watch as well...........
The messaging other women if they are not friends is a totally different ball game for sure. Think it's time to have the talk about .........."are you wanting to date other people?"
Sorry if this ends up going sour on you but one must do what makes them feel comfortable and it is evident that things are not sitting right with you in this situation. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 12:44:27 PM | for those of you who dont know what the hell a first promise ring means,its pretty much a statement that the two of you are one on one,and possibly will have a future together someday,old-fashioned? not really,just a mere token of love and commitment,its given out of love, not society rules!
Really it’s given out of love and all that after only 3 months? Wow I must move way too slow for you I wouldn’t be thinking about love for a little while longer myself. Like I said you might want to investigate this one on one thing after all it’s only been 3 months by your own admission. That's a tad too soon to be declaring ones love and making long-term commitment if you ask me.
Have you ever tried hooking up with my man eric48 it’s not like you have a lot invested in this relationship?
I mean it’s only been a few months and he’s already looking at other women so why not keep your options open?
You’re a looker and at 44 can you really afford to waste any more time on a man who doesn’t seem to take his commitments too seriously? | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 1:11:51 PM | Hard to understand the concept at being hurt over porn.....
Think I read somewhere that men are visually stimulated and thereby pigs..........lol
....Get over it......Really......
If you are hurt by this perhaps it is you that holds a problem.....you know the one.....(self worth......)
Do not be threatened by this behaviour...be open and truthfull about it....talk to him and tell him your
concerns....do not be harsh dear.....he will resent you for it....
If he is messaging others simply tell him you want access to his site info....password....If he refuses,
then you have cause for alarm....
Have to wonder though the direction of this relationship with these minor distractions causing problems..... | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 3:56:33 PM | and for those of you who dont know what the hell a first promise ring means,its pretty much a statement that the two of you are one on one,and possibly will have a future together someday,old-fashioned? not really,just a mere token of love and commitment,its given out of love, not society rules!
I would like to know..how many promises does it take before ya get the real thing??
Do tennis bracelets count as promises??..I like tennis bracelets..(grins)
Is it a graduated process??
does one have to acquire so many brownie points before you get to the second and third promise?
Can you earn these brownie points by watching more porn??
Have I been missing out because I have never asked anyone to promise me anything ever???
Damn!..I am always the last one to know all this stuff!!
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 4:01:49 PM | Well I'd say first off I'd be surprised. I know my man well and I believe he knows me well enough to know that's not my thing and I find it degrading to women, especially. Just my own tastes, I don't think differently of anyone who watches it or buys it. That's your business, and I don't extrapolate my tastes or beliefs on others in any area. I'm very much a live and let live type of person. Everyone has their own tastes and their right to do as they wish. I am however with a partner who is very much like me and very compatible.
As far as messaging young girls, well that's a different thing entirely. I don't even care to comment on that. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 4:10:51 PM | First of all,I was not snooping! it came right up on his computer! He and I always use each others computers,so that wasnt the issue! We met online! so the issue I have is,why when I was away from him,did he feel the need to go to these sites?!OH,and the younger women were on this site 20-25,he sent mssgs like "Hi,let me spoil you, and wow,you wanna talk sometime?"We are very much one on one,Iam even wearing a first promise ring! I realize men look at porn,but the mssging other women,now thats an issue!o
You need to talk its as simple as that , ask him how he would feel if you msg other guys in this same way. If they are general messages like Hi , thats not to bad ,but let me spoil you? could just be a fantasy on line thing with no intention of carrying it through , but put your mind at east hun talk talk talk.
Best of luck  | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 5:05:36 PM | how do you know what he msgd these girls, if you didnt go through his history and look at them, what i looked at on my computer especially emails and msg dont just pop up their history and display themselves, unless its spyware and then its just there as an add to get you to click on the links and probably arnt his past messages.
the only way you could read his POF messages is if you logged onto his account or his is autologon and you went to his messesges folder,
either way you are snooping into his personal stuff and if i were him i would dump you for being so insecure and snoopy. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 5:17:23 PM | If I found out MY guy was looking at porn on the net, frankly, I'd be SHOCKED! I prefer women! Aside from that though, I'd have to say, is it possible you question this because you wonder if he is fulfilling a need that YOU AREN'T? (that is quite possiblythe case) Does this mean you are at fault? NOPE! Maybe he was too embarassed to to tell you about a fetish he has that he really wants to experience but can't because he fears you will find it wierd, so he looks at porn. There are many reasons this may be happening, this is ONE POSSIBLE scenario. in my opinion, relax! It's just healthy sexual fantasy. Sexual fantasy is not only widely agreed to be a healthy think amongst MOST psychiatrists, but the ones who DON'T have healthy a fantasy life, are the TRUE danger. The sexually repressed are the ones most likely to cheat or on the extreme end of that same spectrum, rape, abuse, murder...
Smile, know that he is healthy, and consider a long talk to see if there is something missed between you both. I have counselled couples that were married for more than 25 years who never even knew each other's sexual fantasies because both were afraid to admit them, and when they finally came out, the experimentation really enriched and refreshed their sex lives.
- Scotty | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 5:33:11 PM | What is this inate and assinine need people have to pick on her about the promise ring bit? You aren't even being mean ON TOPIC, so why be mean AT ALL? nasty, nasty, NASTY people. and you are here on PoF to accompish WHAT? Destroying egos? Self-esteem? Does that mean YOUR self-esteem is also fair game? Play nice and stay on topic please. I am thoroughly DISGUSTED.
- Scotty | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 6:22:49 PM | | thank you,thank you,it got totally off topic! I only added the ring thing to show that we were in a steady relationship,as he said when he gave it to me,3 mos wasnt too soon for us, we had chatted and talked and met for 2 mos prior online,yes, we did meet here too! I was just hurt that he followed the porn stuff with the messages to other women online,he said it was nothing,he was just playing,seems a bit weird to me, and he is a 42 yr old man too,geez,just when you think you might have found a keeper too! very dissapointing! | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 6:41:15 PM | | I was engaged to a guy last year around this time,I had some questions in my mind about what kind of weird stuff he was in to but,when I was plinking around on his computer that day for a few things,I came across the most vile porn things known to man.I ripped him a new one and broke off the engagement a few weeks later.Men do these things beacuse they are pigs and think with only one head and it's not on their shoulders.I feel bad for you,if you need some support,just e-mail me...Take care.... | |
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