| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/19/2006 6:48:19 PM | | Relax Scotty she's the one who brought it up as if it meant something or in defense of something. So if she doesn't want it commented on or if is irrelevant then may she should learn to keep quiet about it. But it is relevant to the relationship as a hole and maybe it aint what she thinks it is after all it’s only been 3 months. Only she and her guy can answer that but it's worth looking at besides we didn't dream it up she served it up. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/20/2006 4:11:32 PM | The porn thing is ok. Women do it too, but they refuse to admit it. I wouldn't worry about it too much if it is not really too much. Men also masturbate when they are in relationship and it doesn't mean they can't get satisfaction from their woman - we are like that.
There is a fine line where porn can influence things and become a really bad thing, but if it's occasionaly it's nothing to worry about.
The other thing is probably more of concern, but could also be a non-issue as well. I wouldn't mail other women, but it just might be another avenue for his fantasy (especially if he is 40 and the girls are 20s). He is not going to date them and could only be flirting.
But you need to talk to him about it.
And if you did find out about this "by chance" it usually could mean that you are not so sure in each other. Also, if you need to ask on this forum BEFORE speaking to your man it also tells something about the level of communication in your relationship. I am not trying to be clever here, but perhaps you need to ask yourself if this relationship is working well, aside from porn and his chatting... | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/20/2006 4:33:55 PM | adult porn is ok with me- and can even be a way to enhance your love life once things get a bit routine. Can be a lot of fun. Dont take it personally or even bother to compare yourself to females portrayed in the porn, it's all about the action and fantasy element. Hes not thinking about being in love with any of them, just the bumpin and grindin... There's guys in there as well so why not enjoy that fantasy element of it for yourself ... their ah err um assets that is
BUT him contacting other women is a big no-no!!!! with messages like to let me spoil you?? Thats not chat, thats foreplay !! And, as you stated on a site like POF which isnt a porn site [ or not supposed to be :)] , but a dating site - is the first step to meeting or at least having online sex with another person. There is no other reason for it, he is on the prowl for other 'real' women
I would draw a line there - viewing fantasy is one thing, personal live interaction is another... | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/20/2006 5:27:29 PM | | Well Jazzgirl, I used to be in the same boat as you, but I was married to him for 3 yrs. From the time he got home to the time he went to bed or work he was looking at porn and it was fine up until he started messaging girls and I didnt have to DIGG it up either. he would do it right there with me there and then thinking I was dumb he would go off and sleep with them thats a different story... after that the porn thing became a problem and I couldnt trust him. Needless to say I kicked that army soldier to the curb. But what I dont get is why do men look at porn behind your back hell maybe we what to look with them. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/20/2006 7:46:12 PM | I write the stuff. And according to my fans, most of whom are women, I'm pretty good at it too.
So a woman who has big problems with porn would have a big problem with me.
That said, I wouldn't peruse porn if I was in a relationship. I should be concentrating on her.
Furthermore, I find most porn unutterably boring since I started writing it. Most is so badly written watching horseshoe crabs hump is more erotic. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/20/2006 9:44:22 PM | Well if I caught him looking at porn on the internet, I would say the same thing to myself that I would say if he were going to a strip joint, watching porn on dvd or looking at a filthy magazine or anything else a normal, healthy heterosexual male might like to do. "Now is my time to catch up on reading that new Robin Cook novel I just got the other week!" Me time! Whooo hoooo! | |
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| Who would look at Porno?
Posted: 9/22/2006 6:54:54 AM | | Exactlly my point! my guy and I have a great physical relationship,so why would he feel the need for that junk? He wants me to wear somethin sexy or do something,I would be more than happy to join,but he needs to communicate that to me,not go off looking at sleazy porn sites!thats what my topic was all about,why would a man need to do that when he has what he needs at home? | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/22/2006 2:22:44 PM | Looking at porn?
I'd ask him if he was looking at anything good and ask him to show me so I could look too. :D.
The messaging young girls thing would annoy me, though, and I'd have to confront him about it. I don't get the whole freaky net-sex with strangers thing that so many people seem to enjoy. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/22/2006 3:08:13 PM | | First of all he'd he HISTORY. It is beyond me why anyone would want to sit around and watch complete stangers having sex. Please....lets get real here. What are you missing in your own relationship that you need porn as a turn on.? Every thing you have or as the case here is, don't have, that you need to resort to something that is not only anti-social , but anti-love and anti-man/woman. The fun you should be having is exploration with your own partner. You cannot simultaneously objectify and dignify women/men. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/22/2006 3:11:56 PM | I had a gf who used to BUY me porn, she would renew my sub to Playboy and I didn't even ask. She just said 'happy birthday' one day. We had a great sex life.
Anyway, OP just because you think you have a good physical relationship doesn't mean he does. He might think the sex is a little ho hum.
But even if it was good, guys just love to look at naked women. And since our gf's need to have their clothes on sometimes some guys jump on the internet to look.
As I get older porn has started losing it's appeal to me. I'll look if someone directs me to something amazing but I don't have any bookmarks to porn sites anymore. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/22/2006 3:20:10 PM | | There is a thing called respect and honesty. I would ask him, "honey, do you ever look at porn when you are on your computer?" And if he lied, I would take off my shoe and give him a new piercing with my heel! Its one thing to be a perv, but to be a perv AND a liar!!!! Thats too much!!!!! I would be hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/22/2006 9:49:34 PM | LOL!
There is good porn and bad porn. Unfortunately most porn is made for and marketed towards men only. Wouldn't it be something is they made porn for women??? Now that would be great! lol. They do make porn for lesbians and bi-sexual women, but they forget the heterosexual women. Hey we count too! | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/22/2006 9:56:35 PM | Actually, I find porn very unsexy--I would be turned off, but that's a matter of personal taste. As for him communicating with the young girl there are two issues:
1) did he promise to be exclusive to you? If he did, then in my view, it's cheating.
2) depending on his age, (i.e. if he's 50 and she's 25) it's just plain creepy. | |
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