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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/27/2006 7:20:14 AM | | If I were to find my guy looking at porn on the internet I would ask if I could sit down and look too. Honestly I don't know what the big deal is. Everyone needs a little eye candy. Imagine yourself eating peanut butter and jam sandwiches everyday for 15 years, maybe once you might want a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Intsead of you man running out to find the banana, why not let him sample it at home. He is coming back to you. Same with the strippers, mags, or dvd's. As long as he "eats" at home why care where he gets the appetite. I would be very mad if my man ever tried to take away the porn. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/27/2006 7:27:54 AM | Just Kats >> WTF you mean there are degrees to promise rings?
Like what a 1st, 2nd and 3rd strike your married sort of thing?
^^^ that's brilliant!...
Hilarious!!! 
Maybe if OP watches with him she'll get the real thing.....LOL
Messaging other women....bad bad thing, time to say good bye..!!!! Would he be okay with OP meeting some other guy for a chat!!..I think not.....enough said!!
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/27/2006 7:37:37 AM | Everybody has some type of vice. If a guy (or girl for that matter) wants to look at porn who cares? It wouldn't bother me. But if it bothers you - for some moral reason - and you have shared that with your guy and he is unwilling to stop then that is an issue. If you have communicated a "realistic" reason as to why this is somehow an afront to you then you share it and he needs to evaluate whether this is something he understands and can support in order to be kind to you. In relationships sometimes you have to realize that what you are doing gives you less pleasure than the hurt your spouse/significant other feels because of it. However, the one thing that we all need to realize is you cannot ask people to change their basic nature just because you are now in their life. So - if the guy looked at Porn before he met, he liked looking at porn and you knew in the early days of the relationship he did it - why should he change?
Now the messaging young girls thing? That is NOT ok if you are in a committed relationship and that is a big no no in my books. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 4:46:36 PM | | Great topic! I have been through this with my husband. I was horrified that he went looking on the internet looking to get off behind my back. But it lead to much bigger problems, soon he was posting profiles looking for "discreat intimate encounters", that was devistating. We have always had great, wild, increadable sex, and often, too. I felt so betrayed by that, and probably should have ended it then and there, but I chose to stick it out a bit longer. It's now 16 months later, and he brought a picture disk home a couple of days ago. When I went to print out the pictures, I found six skanky women's pictures, almost naked on the disk. He of course gave some sorry excuse, but I am done listening. I have been told he may be a sex addict, but too bad. I'm not a prude at all, He & I watch porno's now and then, but we are together. When he's doing it alone, hiding it, then maybe there's a problem. I think people deserve privacy, but if it's desroying your relationship, and it is that big of an issue, someone needs to change, or someone needs to maybe leave. This is such a tough subject. Good luck to you! | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 5:21:24 PM | ok , isnt that 2 totally different issues, checking out porn and contacting young women, 1st of all how old is "young" and personally i love watching porn with my guy and if he gets off on watching it by himself...so be it. It is a form of entertainment, doesnt take away from me...and if it does then it will become an issue. Now contacting other women , thats an issue with me...I would be way more suspicious of that then the porn. I watch porn by myself sometimes, why not Im of consenting age, actually pay my own bills and I am the boss of me. Maybe you should look at the more serious issue of other women and then once that is dealt with sit down and watch a movie or 2 or 3 or 4 together, you never know if you will like different ones so try a variety. Dont go to far out of your comfort zone, just enough to add some spice........ live a little......... go for it.... | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 5:44:50 PM | Take the poor slog to the Adult Bookstore darling. He's merely hinting he wants to watch you in the booth. Ostensibly "young girls" can't be found on porn sites. They all just turned 18 today, it's the law. But how do they always have a new crop of just turned(s)? Fascinating topic. You'd best hurry down to the bookstore and ask those in the know.
Then again we could all get some puritanical robes and hats pillory him in the town square, carv a huge red "P" in his forehead (For Horny) and stone him with the hard type igneous matter lying about. What the hell let the little girls throw the first stones. (I hear those 18 year olds can really throw) | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 7:48:24 PM | | Well as far as Iam concerned the trust is broken,trust is something thats earned and learned,we had a great relationship,both in and out of the bedroom,Iam no prude,we both have watched porn ,afterall we are both in our fortys,its the fact that he was messaging women,mostly 19-23,and the ones who were lookin for intimate encounters,he claims it was just flirtin,and nothing would come of it,but Iam having a real hard time with it,it was never a physical encounter,but then who knows when that would happen,Iam really just so confused here... | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 8:23:05 PM | ok my unwanted advice again! Lets put this in a "what if situation", What if you were at the pub or out having coffee and some really hot guys came up and just started talking to you, Then you tell him your taken but would like to be friends as you have a partner already. You start going out for coffee and stuff after not telling ur partner because hey you two don't really comunicate and have conversations about friends. Wouldn't that be concidered cheating? Yes in my eyes it is. Your going out with someone who ur partner doesn't know about or even know and having coffee. Sorry but thats concidered cheating. Wam when he find out break up ect...
Would like to point out it could have been avioded through comuntication it's the key to a heathly successful relationship! I know i have just back flipped as to what i have said before but i have sat down and thought about it long and hard. I myself have no problem with my man watching porn, i do sometimes too with him and without him, BUT to chat up other people is BIG FAT NO NO! | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 8:55:28 PM | My ex was jerking to girls on cam and still does. He would rather had done that than have sex with me, toward the end of our relationship and that is a major reason our relationship ended He was paying at times $150 a week to do this. This is how bad a habit like that can become. If a guy does this once in awhile, perhaps that is ok but when it becomes a money costing habit where a man would rather do that than be with his girlfriend, and destroys a relationship then it is very evil and sick. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 8:56:29 PM | | What you need to do is to do something that will draw his attention away from the porn and the messaging young girls. If I was in your situation I would make a really raunchy video clip and slip it onto his computer without him knowing it. You will wanna do something that will make his jaw just drop. I gaurantee if you did that he would probably never look at porn again. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 8:58:53 PM | I read the first few pages but to be honest, it's just too repetitive after that to pan for gold otherwise. So, my two cents is to cut him slack on the porn. If the satisfaction he feels after a hard day of work is ignored because he couldn't get his porn fix, well that's a problem . Otherwise, who cares ?
As for the misrepresentation of just who it was that he was messaging, well, they aren't young girls really but that's for you to do your best to clarify OP. Nevertheless, no, knowing what you know now, I'd say that you need to cut him loose. Mind you, it can't go without being said that this is what happens when you move so fast after such a short period of time. Take away the mystery and we all go looking for the next one. Promise rings, sharing of computers, etc., is way, way too much. That's the sort of thing people can get into once they're comfortably in a relationship of some duration. I won't go as far as to say that this is your fault but don't dismiss your own culpability here. Move slower next time.
One last thing though : I'm not totally buying this story about you not snooping at all. That really doesn't ring true. To what degree you're possibly mis-stating the case I'm not sure but for you to just "stumble across" things like message histories without passwords and such is odd. If on the other hand, he handed you all the passwords you asked for (and I don't doubt that that's possible of course) then you should start right there when it comes to moving too fast. Nobody gets the keys to my privacy after three months (no matter how long I talked to them online either) and I can't imagine giving that sort of information up wouldn't change the dynamic and nature of a relationship substantially by itself. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 9/30/2006 10:08:55 PM | who cares.... at least he's at home and not out with hookers or strippers...
I grew up with 6 boys and they all watched porn at some point and it wasn't made into a big deal... guys (and some girls) have been watching some kind of porn since the beginning of time.... as long as it's not something sick and perverted and/or something totally screwed up that he wants you to re-enact for him than just let the man be... go shopping or go do your hair/nails as is the norm for girls and dont worry about it. | |
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| I'd wonder how I ended up with a guy
Posted: 9/30/2006 11:33:39 PM | | And then I'd probably shrug it off and see whether it was that really weird, goatse type stuff or if it was just whatever. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/1/2006 4:27:26 AM | Honestly looking at porn is normal for most guys. We're not women... we have sexual build ups that drive us crazy until we relieve it heh. Porn is merely sexual relief and really nothing more than that. I mean if you're with each other all the time that's a little strange for sure. If you're apart for any amount of time though it's probably just a sign the guy's either craving something different or not getting enough. I'd ask him what he wanted because as they say communication is key.
The messaging young girls sounds kind of sketchy though and probably should be in question. It sounds to me like you know this guy is sexually promiscuous and are more unsure of how to handle it.
Honestly if I found out I had a girlfriend watching porn while i was away I'd be totally comfortable with it. I mean at least then I'd know the girl isn't out messing around right? Relationships are all about trust and if you don't have that after 3 months it's kind of going to be hard to build that essential respect to have things work. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/1/2006 5:41:44 AM | | thank you gotapulse i .shutt my pc down went out to cut the lawn. she went on line and somehow pulled up my email. said it just came up. ok if it did but why SNOOP just close it. she went into sent mesg. she wrote the one in ? back and went as far as deleating some of my other friends too. do i think it was cheating, no but she does. so if that is the way she feels i told her i'd stop.I do care very much for her.hope we can work this out.thuoght we had a good thing going. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/1/2006 7:16:36 AM | Dump his ass, girl!!
Looking at porn? Maybe he wanted a sex thrill or ideas for your next time.. A guy can have a million reasons to make looking at porn sound so innocent.. but the messaging little girls.. well that's just plain sick.. brother needs help.. No excuse in the world can cover up that that is wrong.. | |
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