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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/21/2006 6:35:10 PM | I do not think it is something to worry he watches porn from time to time...after all , who doesnt? it is when he actually is making arrangements with OTHER people to play his fantasies out... this IS a bad sign, otherwise...why dont' you download to yourself couple of good clips??? and enjoy | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/22/2006 8:09:25 AM |
just don't try and hide it from me.
This is hysterical. Seriously, I don't get what the big deal is, but this comment just made me laugh. I know the member who made the comment said that she didn't care before saying this, but this is exactly what makes me laugh at both the man and woman in a couple who allows porn to be an issue they battle over.
If they know you aren't offended or whatever, they have no reason to hide it. If they're hiding it, you've probably made them feel like they shouldn't be doing it. Further, guys who feel the need to watch it and then hide it are equally funny. Just get out of the relationship already. She doesn't understand you and wants you to be something you aren't. Run!!!
I had one friend when I was a young 20 something whose wife literally pitched a fit if he saw a porn or even a movie with female nudity. She would rent movies and, if there was a naked woman anywhere in the movie, it would get turned off. I stopped hanging with my friend after awhile. When he asked me why, I told him that it was only a matter of time before I spoke my mind to the woman who was attempting to control him due to her own insecurities. This would cause him to choose between me and her and I wouldn't do it. We're still friends, but I don't spend much time with him and none when his wife is around. However, I don't let it bother me too much anymore. First off, I know I'll never be controled like that. Second, I have too much fun picking on those guys who have found themselves in a relationship like this.
I feel safe in saying that guys in relationships like this have surrendered their manhood. I guarantee it isn't just the porn. It's a bunch of other things as well. I'm seeing so many cases of it now that I'm getting older. These poor schmucks that have been married since high school are not even men anymore.
The bottom line is, we don't need porn. We don't need porn anymore than you ladies need shoes or hand bags or Victoria's Secret, or any other of the stereotypical preferences of women. In my lifetime, I've seen guys complain about the amount of money women spend on these sorts of things and I've seen them poke fun at women for their seemingly uncontrollable urges to buy these things despite the fact that they do not need them. The one thing I have not seen, NOT ONCE, is a man demanding that his wife stop buying them. Ya know why??? Because it isn't worth the frustration and, since most of us care about our girlfriends and wives, it isn't worth taking something away from them that they enjoy.
Let men be men and let women be women. We don't need it, but we're going to have it whether you like it or not. Get used to it or get steppin'. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/22/2006 8:14:29 AM | Don't know what you mean by "young" re: girls and messaging...but...re: the porn...honey you gotta let him be himself Looking at porn is obviously arousing his 'curiosity' and hey - if he's still liking/loving you, I'd say you have a healthy guy there!!!
And I'll bet he's not imagining banging "Teresa-the-trollop" when he's making love with you...I'll put my next week's paycheck on he's feeling every bit of that 'good physical relationship' you have....
Don't feel slighted with him looking - and don't make him sneak around about it either cuz if you start getting all bent out of shape about it, he will do it anyway. And your relationship will continue to be based on sneaking around or passive lying...don't do that...its not fair. If you don't trust him, don't make him pay for it - just move on...guys are going to look at other women...and how can they not???
I have never felt going to a strip club or online porn to be anything deviant ... does not mean he doesn't want you either. Means he is a healthy man who enjoys stimulation... (is he online 24 hours a day with it? that might be a bit like being addicted to the computer PERIOD.......any addiction could become totally consuming and make a person dysfunctional...not sure that is a good thing)
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater honey... and as far as the ladies messaging your boyfriend - well - I guess that's a tough one cuz i don't appreciate MY business being discussed with HER business but...again...all you can do is control your own life...but I'll tell ya - if you let him look, look with him!! oooo you have no idea what could come from such a venture...and if you're saying "eeewwwww" well, let him at least be the guy in his crowd that is envied for being able to just be himself...
Take some strip tease classes - have a party!!! invite your girlfriends over to your place on a friday night and have fun...
But for sure - don't blame him for being a man ... he can't help it. You'll understand what I mean by that in years to come.
:)
This is the way I feel about this today...
best of luck - and be yourself...its all you can be...and its all up to you what you like and don't like...
ciao, jazzgirl.... | |
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| my comment about not being able to help it re: being a man
Posted: 10/22/2006 8:36:08 AM | And by the way when I say :
" -But for sure - don't blame him for being a man ... he can't help it. You'll understand what I mean by that in years to come. "
what I really mean is let him BE a man - that is what he is... and I think it takes time to understand we just can't have it our way all the time...and the sooner we appreciate that, the better...it really IS about him sometimes...
learn that none of us are perfect but for sure, give him some slack...I speak from experience...work on the real reasons why this tends to make your heart race when you think he's losing interest in you...
I would rather nurture a relationship than live in the turmoil of distrust...it just rents too much headspace.
and that is what you will understand in years to come...
or you will end up being bitter... and ****y...
not fun...you all deserve peace and happiness.
thanks for listening.
mariachristina | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/22/2006 8:47:33 AM | I like porn myself. I am a single women that has my own membership so....it can expand the mind and make sex more adventurous. But as for the young thing...Nope. The legal don't work either because our legal system sucks....14 in Canada, that's gross if he's an older guy. I don't think girls under 19 should be on porn, it's sad actually. Has anyone ever took the time to look into the life of some of them young girls......it's really really sad.
Adult porn is great! | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/22/2006 8:58:12 AM | | Absolutely nothing wrong with porn, looking at young girls is a totally different thing and that would concern me. Men are visual creatures, you should join him and see where it takes the two of you, you might like it. It can be a real turn for the two of you and anything that can enhance your sexual relationship would be well worth it, wouldn't it!? When you say "young" girls, how young, like under 21??? That would concern me and become a serious issue, one I would have to talk with him about. | |
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 186 | |
| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/22/2006 9:14:49 AM |
The legal don't work either because our legal system sucks....14 in Canada, that's gross if he's an older guy. I don't think girls under 19 should be on porn,
I never understood the age thing.... if at fourteen, a woman is old enough to legally "make an informed decision" to have sex, and produce a living person, then she should be capable of driving, drinking, and be allowed to do any other thing that is restricted by age.
Personally, make the age 18, maybe even 16, across the board. ONE number !
Supposedly, parents are financially liable for their student children to the age of 25 ! I guess the laws are about money, not common sense. 14 year old female porn stars and prostitutes generate lots of money, and generate pleasure for those OLD MALE POLITICIANS.
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/22/2006 10:12:58 AM | The issue of under-aged girls and pornography/prostitution is an important one. I do not agree with the sexual exploitation of these young women. The laws are in place for a reason. A teenaged girls should be primarily focussing on their education and healthy activities such as sports and arts.
It saddens and frightens me that there are adult males out there who would want to put the futures of these girls at risk only to temporarily gratify themselves.
Yes, part of teenaged years includes some experimentation and that's precisely why these girls are so vulnerable. Look at the lives of the majority of the girls who go down that path--in 20 years where are they?
On the flip side, our governments have the legal power to send teenaged males and females off to war, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the lives and futures of these young girls are also not valued.
Not that I disagree with healthy eroticism between adults--and there are many examples of healthy and tasteful eroticism out there. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 10/23/2006 7:19:45 PM |
Now wait a second, I have no problems with porn, or men who watch it. Just be honest with me and then we can watch it together
Haha....Sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was referring to you. It was just that portion of your comment that made me think.
Personally, I find porn to be pretty useless unless you seek out and purchase particular types. Even then it's no big deal. I guess it's just the symbolism when it comes to how a woman reacts to something so harmless. If she's gonna freak out over something like that, she's not going to be easy to live with, so I pass. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 1/26/2007 10:54:25 AM | | I think anyone gets jealous of a photo or a video must have some SERIOUS self esteem issues...think Jenna Jamieson is gonna come steal away your man? Get real....it's a proven fact that mean are more visually inclined then women and as long as it's not kiddie porn,who really gives a crap? It's not much diff than watching tv...if only the thoughts going through my head could be read while I'm watching House MD....Hugh Laurie....yummm! | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 191 | |
| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 1/26/2007 10:57:36 AM | As long as he was being respectful to me and it wasn't hurting the relationship, I don't have a problem with it. It just falls into the category of things I'd rather not know about.
The messaging young girls things though, that would cross a line. Looking at porn is one thing, trying to instigate a relationship is another story. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 1/26/2007 2:51:47 PM | "The bottom line is, we don't need porn. We don't need porn anymore than you ladies need shoes or hand bags or Victoria's Secret, or any other of the stereotypical preferences of women."
hahahahahahahaaa.....I'm going to have to agree with you on that statement.....as a woman I dont understand what the big deal is. If it doesn't involve animals, young children or some kind of freak incident, what does it matter as long as your man goes back to you (or your woman goes back to you, what ever the case may be...) sheesh.... | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 1/26/2007 3:58:10 PM |
Oh and he has messaged a few young girls too! I was ticked off!
Ummmmm. Just to ask...When you say message, do you mean like cyber-flirting/cyber-sex? Are they 18 or above? And what was his context like? The reason why I ask is because I have been a cyber-big brother/mentor/friend, etc. to several teenage girls below the age of 16. And like I said, my role does not go beyond that. If anything, they may think I am too much of a do-gooder. | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 1/26/2007 4:09:46 PM | Anyone that looks at Porn is not wrong. I look at porn...lots of people do. That isn't bad. But as far as him messaging the other girls..THAT is a prob. You may want to talk to him about it. But IMO, if he is messaging other girls and you let him know you know, all he will do is be sneakier and get better at hiding it.
I don't want to say GET OUT, but the messaging is a bit RED LIGHT for me that the relationship isn't that great. (Kind of curious what the messages said)
Good Luck to you.  | |
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| What would you do if you found your guy was looking at porn on internet?
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:36:02 PM | Porn = Harmless play
Messaging women, young or old = Trouble
I have a friend of mine that almost got divorced shortly after getting married cause she caught her hubby surfing internet porn. She called me and was VEXED!! My answer to you is the same thing I said to her... What's the big deal? Porn women are not going to jump out the screen and sit on yer mans lap and please him, so he tugs it a lil at the computer... big deal... do you allow him to masturbate? Do you demand or have the ability to control his thoughts if so? (Tell him what you think is an aceptable fantasy and what is not when he does) Same difference... If you are going to make such a big deal about him doing this he will start hiding it from you and then you WILL get the gut he is hiding something and you're gunna think up all sorts of things that are worse then him just surfing porn... get over it hun... boys will be boys. It's good clean fun nothing more!!
If surfing porn consumes most of his free time and it affects your sex life with him... then I might have a problem with it. And I would definately talk to him about him talking to other women. Good luck!
Girly Woman | |
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