Rencen
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Joined: 1/14/2005
Msg: 26 | |
| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/25/2005 4:04:36 PM | | Kitty, I keep hearing excuses. You need a professional to help you see the light way before you get to the end of the tunnel. These fathers you excuse know how to inpregnate you yet you accept that they don't know how to support you or the children in an emotional, physical and/or financial way. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/25/2005 11:50:07 PM | | what? dude... i don't need a professional to help me add up the number of children negleted by their fathers in my family... i can count. what's your point? i don't excuse any one of them for their behavior and every woman they impregnated obviously stepped up to the plate and handled their responsibility... so WTF are you really trying to say to me rencen? you're not making any sense... maybe i'm just too sleepy to be reading this right now... but if you're trying to say that i "accept" that these men don't "know how" to support these children... you didn't read my post and don't know WTF you're talking about dude. all of the men in my family that have done this, made an extra effort not to support their children and you can't "make" a father participate, not to mention the fact that they are ALL very capable of participating & CHOOSE not to. so again i ask... WTF is your point/beef with me? you snap off at me and say i need therapy for something that was done in my family for years before i was even born... my son is the last child in our family this has happend to... are you mad because i won't take up for lazy, good for nothing men who run around stickin' every woman they can with their wee little tallywackers and then turn their backs on their own flesh and blood? well... too freakin' bad! there are good men out there but the men in my family give all good men a very bad name... you wanna go collect all those back years of child support for each and every one of us... i'll give you names and addresses and when you can get through the "italian curtain" to talk to any one of them... you just let me know ;) that is if you can make it out alive. | |
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Rencen
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Joined: 1/14/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/26/2005 1:39:56 AM | Hey,
I was referring to kittykat_2004. I guess I learned not to abreviate names. I never read your thread whosyourbadkitty. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
P.S.
I aint no dude!!
But it appears as though you need some kind of professional to help you deal with anger...WTF!!! | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/28/2005 6:29:20 AM | if it was a misunderstanding/mix up in screen names, that's cool but you should have just stopped with your apology and said no more.
p.s.
no, you're not a dude, you're obviously a p-r-i-c-k & i didn't recognize you at first... my bad, won't be calling you a dude any more mr. p-r-i-c-k. and if you think it's anymore appropriate for you to tell people they need professional help than it is for me to chew your butt out for doin' it... you're the one that needs professional help. you push, i push back, that's how things work in life... this is no longer a sumbissive society filled with women that respond with "yes sir", "no sir", "your dinner will be ready in a moment sir." woman now proudly stand up to idiots like you when they feel the need. watch your mouth and it won't happen to you again. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/29/2005 2:14:09 PM | | you have two healthy kids - do what your heart tells you is right - and tubal is not a bad idea I think given your alternatives | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 3/30/2005 2:31:19 AM | cuz i coulndt REPLACE the child i had to give up?!??
how can u replace a child with a new 1 thats soooo stupid thats makes me mad
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/1/2005 8:17:38 AM | | i donate my eggs to childless couples and truely beleive that a child is a gift. I couldnt ever imagine giving up my child or not being able to have a child ever again. I was just wondering where the father to this baby was and if u have help from him or any other members of your family ? this is a life changing decision and 1 that needs 2 b thought through very carefully | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/1/2005 10:30:35 AM | I have had 9 months to think this decision out carefully. The father has been my friend throughout the entire time and wants to give up the baby for adoption.
I am actually about 80% sure adoption is the best for my family, I'm just having a hard time admitting and accepting that fact. It will take time.
A child is a gift.. and it is wonderful that you donate eggs Cally. I'm not choosing adoption to make a childless family happy though; I am choosing adoption because it is best for my family. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/4/2005 6:35:21 AM | phunkymonkey... try reading the whole thread...
this is a post from the first page:
"kychick: The father of this new baby is all for adoption. He is in a bad financial situation right now and doesn't have the courage to care for a child. He has been here for me, in a way, by helping with the adoption plan and talking to me about my worries"
you know... if she were talking about aborting the child, people here would be up in arms and trying to talk her into having the baby and giving it up for adoption. so now my concern is that whether you choose abortion or adoption, as in this case, you can't win for losin' with society. she could easily abort and is choosing not to. she's making the best choice she can for herself, her child and her family. pro-lifers can't have it both ways now can they? i think she's chosen the better of the two evils and hopefully she'll get her tubes tied so this doesn't happen to her and another child again. and by the way... the father in this situation is obviously a putz! he ought to step up to the plate like a real man and take care of his child so she can try to keep the child in her family. he was man enough to lay down and have s-e-x with her, as was she, but look who's runnin' away and talking her into doing the same. sad.... just sad... | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/4/2005 7:02:21 AM | first of all what i dont understand is y r u not using birth control....the pill...the injection...the chip inserted in 2 your arm...the cap...condoms etc etc?????
second....i think adoption would b the best thing 4 u because at least u know your baby has gone 2 a couple who will love & treasure he/she like they need 2 b,espically if u cant give the baby what it needs x
good luck xx | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/4/2005 10:57:02 AM | PhunkyMonkey: did you ever think that this is a nice place to make friends as well besides for dating??
As for birth control, I've tryed several methods of b/c and I cannot use them. I've had the depo which made me fat. I've taken the pill which made me have chest pains (I smoke). I cannot get an IUD, nor can I get the Norplant because it was discontinued in the U.S. I guess it does take some women awhile to wise up... eh, and it happened this way. Trust me, I don't want to have sex for some time after this. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/4/2005 11:49:28 AM | ^^^^what about condoms?
they might not b 100% but its better than nothing | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/4/2005 2:02:28 PM | | Funny thing, well it isn't funny now, but I bought a large box of condoms just months before I came up pregnant. My head was in the right place at that time, but not at the time of having fun! | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/4/2005 10:38:04 PM | I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do hon...... it would be a very hard decision to make.. one I couldnt do myself but I truly hope you have the support your going to need if you go through with this... you will need it !
badKitty.. you made a statement about information regarding getting a tubal and it messing up women... or not feeling like a 'whole' woman...
Not all women have problems... especially from tubal.. if you have a FULL hysterectomy the chances of you have hormonal problems increase... however.. as in my situation (had to have a hysterectomy due to cervical cancer 2x).. they left the ovaries in.. that was 4 yrs ago and I have NO problems what so ever.. no drugs no 'weird moods' lol...and I AM 100% WOMAN lol..
If you decide to get fixed... tubal (which can be reversed now-a-days with a 50/50 chance of getting pregnant) if you so choose to change your mind... or PARTIAL hysterectomy.. dont let them take your ovaries !!!!!!!!!!! lol...
Good luck in whatever way you choose... wishing you the best
L | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/5/2005 7:29:15 AM | | hey countrylin... ya, the doc i saw gave me all sorts of literature to review and made me think about it for six months... and you're right... not all women have issues when they get their tubes tied but for me... i just didn't want to take the chance. after doing all the research and talking to women that have had it done, i decided not to mess with mother nature. my time will come. i figure i'll just stick with my buddy, the pill. :) | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/6/2005 5:06:30 PM | :) you know before I had my problem.. my doc was always trying to persuade me NOT to do it.. they dont like young women getting 'fixed'... I always figured this is why they give you all those crap brochures lol......
I couldnt be happier with my situation now... no more monthly !!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol wooooooohoooo ... | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/6/2005 6:58:25 PM | Yeah, after my second child, I asked my doc. what he thought of a tubal. He didn't want me to do it at that time because I was 23. I've heard that a woman shouldn't have more than 3 kids because it can be very stressful on your body so I'm not too surprized that he is recommending it now.
But I heard that a woman still has her monthy after a tubal? | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/6/2005 7:06:03 PM | you will still get your monthly after a tubal... she had a partial hystorectomy... that's why she's done getting the montly monster ;)
having one child is stressful on your body, let alone three. my dad is one of 12 kids - 4 in the first wife's litter and 7 in the second wife's litter... 11 too many kids if you ask me :)
some women are lucky, they never have any problems when they go through "the change" but others suffer dearly. i'd just rather not push my luck and be one that needs hormone replacement therapy too early in life. i can't just have a hystorectomy for the sake of having one... i can get my tubes tied but that can cause problems too. the lady i work with gets really bad pain in that area and i'm not up for dealing with that sort of thing... so i think i'll just kick back and wait my turn. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/7/2005 12:23:46 AM | | Hell no, I love my little girl. There would be no way I would put her up for adoption. I sure the hell wouldn't get permanently sterilized either, sometime in the future I do want more children. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/7/2005 12:25:58 AM | | Another thing, you are going to take one look at that baby and fall in love with him or her. It will be really hard to give the baby up once you have him or her. | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/7/2005 4:47:48 PM | kitykat_2004-
i am new here and just getting a feel for the site. i `should' probably shut up.
but, i hardly ever do something for that reason- LOL.
actually i am trying make a point with this lame humor. i commend you for having the courage
and open mindedness to seek feedback, knowing it may be harsh.
i heard that you expected yes or no answers, but when it comes to `shoulds' people can be real funny. with the best of intentions, some think you `should' do what they `should' do in your shoes.
feedback is invaluable, regardless of errors in judgement you may or may not have made in the past, you seem here to be demonstrating a very sincere intent to do what is best for YOUR family. that is, imho, an act of both love and wisdom.
it can be hard to trust ourselves not to make irreversable mistakes, but no matter how much we worry about them and second guess, we will do it anyway.
fwiw- i would give a child up for adoption (and am a prospective adoptive parent myself) IF that was what i believed was in that childs best interests. yes it will hurt. no, maybe your child will not want to be part of your extended family. but, if you cannot reliably meet the needs of all three children, and this is a solution that enables all to have the best possible support for their growth, i applaud you for being selfless enough to face this painful prospect.
you know best about the sterilization too. sounds like raising either two or three children to adulthood in a healthy manner is going to be challenging for you (not easy for anyone, huh?). if for whatever reason, you do not trust you will not end up with another unplanned pregnancy, tubal ligation may be a choice that frees you, if not from guilt about the past, perhaps from so much worry about the future. you could maybe feel that your family was a stable unit and build the best foundation for it you can.
no child can be replaced. but if you find yourself someday with an empty nest when your bio children are grown, you could yourself adopt or foster if that were appropriate for you at the time?
there are so many kids who need love and a stable home, i don't care whose `fault' it is, i wish we could mangage to get together and `fix' it. no love is wasted on a child, whether you raise them or not.
anyway- i sure babbled a lot for someone who wasn't sure i should speak at all.
shutting up now and best wishes to all of you!
peace
reyna | |
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| Would you... (for women)
Posted: 4/7/2005 4:52:05 PM | While I would decide to get permanenty sterilized on my own, I would NEVER put my child up for adoption. Though, if I accidently got pregnant, Id pick adoption over abortion anyday, but I just would NEVER give up my lil man :)
You ok? | |
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