| WTF
Posted: 11/3/2006 11:18:20 PM | WTF Is This
Part Nueve/Part Dos
Oh Hell No
It says
at the bottom
of my profile
Send Ominius
some flowers
I laughed my ass off
why send me
some flowers
that's a joke
how will you find me
to send me flowers
and why in the fucc
would you send me
flowers
any fuccin way
I just don't get it
who's idea
was this
in the first place
Send people
flowers
from the internet
what has the world
come to
I wouldn't even send
my ex lady any flowers
what makes you
think I would send
a complete stranger
some muthafuccin bouquet
of dead flower arrangement
is beyond me
and what if you sent
a batch of flowers
to a chick
that turned out
to look like
a muthafuccin daaawg
I wonder
would you want a
refund on ya
credit card?
Are flowers
really worth it? | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/4/2006 1:29:47 PM | Mentos Moment
AKA
I Need
A Fuccin Broom Now!!
Fucc
I need a new broom
right now
my porch is cluttered
with dust and leaves
from the wind
and rain storms
at the 99 cent store
there are no more brooms
for sale
I'm pissed
but not discouraged
I looked around
and saw a worker
she told me
there were no more brooms
for sale
as i walked away
i saw a nice white broom
standing abandoned in the aisle
only it was the store's broom
so I grabbed it
walked up
to the cashier
gave her the dollar
and walked out with
the broom
without having to
pop any
fuccin mentos
the fresh maker
into my mouth
 | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/4/2006 1:44:36 PM | You think you've got it bad, with your effin $1 broom
try to find an effin fly swatter
when the b.......s are flyin around your friggin head
in the hot summer
swattin at the little horny things
swinging at them with a useless rolled up crap piece of paper
what an effin joke | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/4/2006 2:00:41 PM | Food Stamp Sludge
Food Stamp Sludge
Food Stamp Sludge
You look despicable
phat azz pudge
of sludge
your blub a lug
whale gut
is off the meter
basket full
of condensed
and packaged
junk food
that's got your
BELLAY
lookin like
a metamorphosised
FOD BAG
you ol
dirty hag
with house slippers on
don't ya got a man
any class?
You been on
General Assistance
so long
that the county
might have
to seek assistance
to get your ass off
You slipped and slided
so much
your EBT card
is straight demagnitized
go get a job
sludgey pudgy | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/4/2006 7:39:52 PM | Ominius schminius
throwing ragged slippers
and hair raging
screaming for attention | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/5/2006 3:32:13 PM | Analytical Political
(AKA Don't be a Hater)
Anylytical
maybe political
a reviewer of words written
an observant of posts
nay sayers
say what they will
but ominius
will never give
a fucc
about how
the next kat feels
especially
when they ain't
helping pay any
of the
muthafuccin bills
so save
your Ebert and Roeper
reviews
for another day
If ya don't like it
you can
jump off the boat
and turn
to the next
muthafuccin page
sucka muthafucca
 | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/7/2006 8:25:18 PM | Give That Man A Chair
He Can Depend On
(forays into the anti-ergonomically correct ass hell syndrome)
At the poetry
reading
of a poet teacher
by the name
of Bob Rice
The place was packed
the majority
his own students
While he was funny
the situation
with that small
fancy delicate chair
I was "sitting" on
simply wasn't
you see
my ass was burning
I mean my ass cheeks
they were hurting
all because
my body conflicted
with this chair
manufactured
for a fuccin WAIF!!
I really felt bad
for that heavy set cat
who's body was stuck
on that hard wooden straight chair
the whole show
his discomfort was obvious
as he kept wriggling around
After the show
as I awaited my friend
the guy was overheard
telling his girl
"Sitting inThat chair
was hell
out of all chairs
I had to sit
in that one"
Then I thought to myself
man you better be
damn lucky
that you didn't have MY chair
you probably
would have
BROKEN
that muthafucca | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/7/2006 9:46:12 PM | Freak Tales Of Fucc
(Ode to all my foxy girlfriends of the past, the present, and the future)
Lyrics from the song Babyhead
written and Performed by Fishbone
Nougat baby floatin' down
On a cotton candy cloud
Floating by a chocolate baby
Thinkin' bout his creamy center
Don't bite alright don't bite alright
The nougat gets a taste
Ask if it's appropriate slippin'
Through wetness
Nougat wants that goo
Chocolate's paralyzed and can't move
The goo just rushin'
Enjoy chocolate sweet treat
Chocolate needs relief
Chocolate lost his goo you see
Chocolate jumps on the nougat
Tastin' and bitin' on the pillows
Still not satisfied
Enjoy chocolate
Sweet treat lick it quit
Lick it slick wiggin' insanity
Givin' up the goo to the bones groove (X4)
     | |
|
| WTF
Posted: 11/9/2006 12:51:14 AM | Musicology
This radio/music course
is running it's course
through my brain
a hint of musical history
the legion of obscure
bands and musicians
that immortalized themselves
on wax
on tape
they were the musicians
that were examples
of the various
era's of time
continuing
the inventions
and regurgitation
of music styles
just to slap
a new genre label
like stickers
on packages of slaughtered
meat products
The wheel spins
audio decibels
so many musicians
so many bands
so little time
to hear
it all | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/9/2006 12:56:27 AM | So Much Kitty
In tha city
there is an overflow
of kitty
meow and hiss
kiss or dismiss
some of these
kittays
they have
monay
some even own
and run
their own
companay
You could be
a gigolo
in this town
so much kitty
running around
this town
it's not hard
to keep a good woman
company
Meow indeed | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/9/2006 12:58:54 PM | My Compliments
You took it again
you are the
Imcumbent
you said
"I love doing sequels"
after your latest win
Jesus man
you even use lines
in your politico
just like them
catchy lines
you said
in all those
blockbuster hits
back in the day
the heyday
of the Reagan youth
aka The Eighties
Although
I don't remember
seeing you
in too many sequels
except
that sci-fi saga
that should have
never been a sequel
After that flick
you said
that you wanted
to play the good guy roles
instead of the villian roles
so you truly said that
"I'll be back"
and you stuck
to that phrase
You were a good villian
in that sci-fi flick
but when you came back
as a hero
in the
Sequel
I just didn't
comprehend it
As downtown
and the rest
of this
re-configured
city
continues to grow
at breakneck speed
with an influx
of shopping malls
upscale rest yer haunts
condos and buildings
I congratulate you
on a job well done
for bringing
major development
and urban sprawl
to an all time high
to "LA North"
right?
Right on indeed
king of Guv-ment city
| |
|
| WTF
Posted: 11/9/2006 1:09:15 PM | Behind the Orange Curtain
The OC
that place
of Disney dreams
theme parks
Dinner Theatre
The Crystal Cathedral
multi million avenues
and beauty spread
all over
the
subdivided cities
Beach BLVD
I used to trample
all over you
day and night
from Buena Park
to HB
swimming in the ocean
before it became
too polluted
Beach bunny babylon
freaky sexy mamas
all over that place
I found some
of the freakiest ladies
in Garden Grove
Santa Ana
Newport
Costa Mesa
Fullerton
and Anaheim
It was the end
of the millinia
chronic weed
alcohol
liqour stores
all over the place
on Katella
Those days
stuck in the
Orange
square twin
of LA
how I would escape
to the jungle
just to get away
from you
But always
found myself
coming back
until one day
I said
fucc it
and moved to sac
freakin amen | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/10/2006 7:41:11 PM | Heed Warning
For the life of me
I can't understand
why a cartoon
would place
a song
that is catchy
funny and annoying
that could possibly
drive ya mad with
jingle like annoyance
The Adult Swim Cartoon
by the name
of Aqua Teens
Hunger Force
This particular episode
is about a song
called
"I want Candy"
by MC Pee Pants
and the song
with its groovin slick melody
will stick its
ugly melody in your mentals
so heed warning
after watching this episode
a few times
you may just want
some freakin candy
after all
subliminization
is a
muthafucca | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/10/2006 7:53:10 PM | EmpTee-VEE
You're old
you're not
what you used
to be
maybe it's
a generational thing
maybe its just plain
OBSCENE
that these days
you seem to have
no skills
of picking up
fresh and valuable
talent
or shows
for that matter
some of the music
seen on your network sucks
its all mono-tone
like the new kids
of today have no back bone
no sense of true rebellion
stuck on self image
wondering if someone
likes them or not
you know
when music is taking
a turn for the dumb
when all these so called icons
of today only talk
of being the one
or being hated
Who really cares
about
your image
to the point
that you are so
pre occupied
with the notion
of your status
with the general public
is roughshod and paranoic
beyond the efficient means
of comprehending
what's wrong from right
the technological realm
has hit an all time low
even though
it seems that
it is at an all time high
networks
push garbage
to us
then make it
look like it's hip
to be square
I say
fucc it man
be whoever
the hell you are
instead of being a clone
of that last superstar | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/11/2006 2:54:22 PM | Henry Rollins Muthafucca u
Mister Henry
Hank
or mister Garfield
Rollins
Music connaisuer
Film geek
punk band
black flag
O.G Punk
Just when the
naysayers
attempt to stick
their hater fork in ya
and claim
that you are done
it is to no amazement
that you seem
to go on
and come up
international traveler
spoken word guru
Front man vocalist
publishing company
your material is raw
to the point
mixed in
with dry wit
sarcasm and humor
you never cease
to amaze
with the style
of that
in your face
style of writing
maybe you truly are
part animal
part machine | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/11/2006 3:04:41 PM | Inquiry Vixen
Inquiring and curious
minds wanna know
some stupid shiiiiit
She asked me
"Do you go
to the art galleries
on 2nd saturday
to look at the art
or to drink the free wine
and eat the free appetizers?"
I said
biatch
I go for both
the artists
and the free wine
and appetizers
sometimes both
sometimes not
I could see
that she was
attempting
to make me bite
on some wicked
sarcasm
but little
did this vixen know
that I am the king
of smartass remarks
let alone sarcasm
dry wit and
somewhat
of a sick sense
of humor
So I laughed
and laughed
and she got annoyed
She wanted me to bite
I think this vixen likes me
But I don't know about all that
right now | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/11/2006 3:38:22 PM | ....then again maybe I do | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/12/2006 6:02:09 PM | Bridge Of Death
Eric Steel
your documentary
The Bridge
was deep
insightful
dark and twisted
beautifully crafted
and magnificently shot
You captured
the end of these
people's life
as they plunged
their existance away
into the cold hearted
Pacific Ocean
by the city of the bay
from the shocking
revelation
of the first jumper
right down
to the amazing
exit grace
of the last jumper
you weaved reality
in a sense of darkness
that has its grip
on the human condition
and what it's capable
of doing when pushed
to the limits
of mental illness
Depression
Drug Addiction
the sorrow
of the victims family
close friends and witnesses
After seeing this documentary
you will never
look at the Golden Gate Bridge
the same way ever again | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/14/2006 10:42:01 PM | Ways of the Audiophile Technicians
The decibel technicians
we have the know how
to fix the jones you got
tell you
in our opinions
if your audio mechanisms
is worth our work or not
Technicians
we are the
gurus
of being
the problem solver
sometimes
the best accomplishment
is when we made
someone's day
even our own
when we figure out
what's wrong
the doctors of electricity
the audio masters
the decibel technicians
of supersonic sound delight
bump your sound systems tonight | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/14/2006 10:48:47 PM | Samurai Verses 2
The Blueprint
Sword in hand
do you understand
the concept
behind
murder
honor?
you need
Discipline
Instinct
Honor | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/15/2006 11:51:24 AM | Scissorhead Weirdo
What makes you tick
you lunatic?
you have a fetish
for letting
that woman squeeze
your hideous
bald head
with her thighs
you must love that shiit
scissoring your funky ass
until you can hardly breath
man
WTF is wrong with you?
your head was all red and shiit
your screaming
muted by this chicks
thighs squeezing your skull
while she babbled
her dominatrix bullshiit
that said woman is a
certified alcoholic
pornographic
oppurtunist
looking to get in
where she can fit in
along with a bottle of wine
you could have all the kinky fun
you want
when that ho cake is drunk
   | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/18/2006 1:18:09 PM | Manic Fanatic Electronical
(Ode to the pioneers of electronic induced music)
I am the man of sound
the sound of man
will you understand
how playing with decibels
can make you a mad
scientist
when you cannot resist
with playing with science
of sound
with keyboards
turntables
drums
and instruments
of various kinds
the sounds
they come together
with sweet melodic bliss
or chaotic nihilistic
it is what it
fuccin is
type of anarchy
| |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/18/2006 1:36:02 PM | Brainsmash
Christopher Nolan
what are doing
or what have you done
already
to me
and the people
that saw your film
memento
Man I think
I'm gonna go insane
if I continue
to watch this maze
of a flick
of amazing complexity
who did this
who did that
and why can't this guy
remember anything
writing things
on photos
even going as far
as tattooing himself
so he can remember
what and who
he has to deal with
over what happened
to his wife
is this movie
worth comprehension?
you decide | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/18/2006 2:41:10 PM | Good Lord
Manhattan
Manhattan
I had a sip of you
at that Fats Asian Cuisine
Fine dining experience
in the old remnants
of Old Sac
My compliments
to your bartender
that made
a damn good martini
of bourbon and vermouth
with a classy cherry
lounging her ass
at the bottom of the glass
good lord
manhattan
so strong
so good
had my ass lit
almost like
a nice fine looking lady
and her luscious ass
with cherry on top....
or bottom..... | |
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| WTF
Posted: 11/20/2006 11:17:22 AM | Fucc The Radio
Fucc you
Fucc you
and fucc you
you know who
you are
that goliath
is now falling
to pieces
breaking off
part of its
yuppie yup
tentacles
that had
its grip
on the masses
The decibel
revolucion
has begun
no more bullshiit
no more
of your insane
repetetive
redundant
playlists
product
of your top 40
preservation
of shiit "hits"
Give the real
musicians and artists
a chance
that soul
you cannot duplicate
and even replicate
with your emphasis
on that
image consultant style
of your version of
R&B
country
classic rock and roll
and your joke
of popular so called
new wave of
punk rock music
you are not radio
you are just the real
pirate of the frequencies
and have the nerve
to say
that you want to
illegalize
music piracy
splinter off
and be gone
go away
forever
and give back
the real radio
to where it belongs
to the musicians
and not no
johnny or betty
come latelys
that are faker
than the hair
and bodies they rock
ask me
what i say about
CC radio
and I say
I don't give
a flying fucc | |
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