| distance problems
Posted: 9/21/2006 8:08:30 PM | Ideally, True love should have no boundaries on races or distance.
However, reality does come into play on a long distance relationship. It would take 2 very dedicated souls, with great integrity and have the marketable skill or the financial means to relocate because at some point one of the two would have to relocate if they choose to share a life together.
The 2 involves in a long distance relationship must be logical initially to avoid any heartache.
Someone without dependent children at home, and have marketable skill regardless of residency, there should no hindrance too great to stop him/her to go for the true love. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/21/2006 8:14:29 PM | I don't see what the big problem is with long distance relationships. It takes for those two people to be dedicated enough. Would you really give up having that one person that you would want to settle down with for the rest of your life, or the one person you found everything you have always wanted because there was some miles between you.
I at one point dated someone that lived far away, but we made it work. He would come up here, I would go down there, and we made it work for the both of us. Understanding, patients can go a long way.
I have also dated someone that lived in the lower mainland here in Vancouver, and it was harder to get our schedules together. I guess it depends on the couple. But why restrict yourself you never know, you truely never know. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/21/2006 8:24:25 PM |
The fact is, we can't help who we are attracted to.
Across the street or across an ocean, love is where you find it.
Well said!
I think distance, these days, should be the least of your worries in a relationship. And if you're not interested in a long-distance relationship, then just say so. They messaged you, so have the same common courtesy to at least reply and not leave them hanging. | |
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blujay
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Joined: 8/20/2005
Msg: 29 | |
| distance problems
Posted: 9/21/2006 8:32:25 PM | | It's a bit of a problem, but it can be surpassed by travel...take a plane and dream about your next partner while u r snoozing on it | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/21/2006 9:02:38 PM | If you think about it we always find a way to have what we truly want and desire. If it's not easy or convenient, well it's not a problem, it's just the fact we realize we didn't want it that much. Think about it!!  | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/21/2006 9:17:15 PM | If you think about it we always find a way to have what we truly want and desire. If it's not easy or convenient, well it's not a problem, it's just the fact we realize we didn't want it that much. Think about it!!
Well said Bucsgirl! 
Don't laugh at me for this...but...
"When it rains it reminds me of you. Although 2000 miles away is so far I still always walk outside in the rain and kiss it just for you. It never fails me. The rain will always come and I'll always love you. Next time you see a storm on the horizon please don't fear it's just heaven doing me the favor of taking you my kiss. Walk outside and kiss the rain whenever you need me."
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/21/2006 9:37:12 PM | Well, I had met someone online a few years back, we had a lot in common, and planned to meet one day. We would talk everyday, use webcams, talk on the phone, voice chat and all that good stuff.
This went on for 2 years. I would occasionally press the matter of meeting to her, but it never went anywhere, and I think 2 years is MORE than enough time. So I pretty much said either we are, or we are gonna stop this.
And I haven't heard from her since. Lol.
There is nothing wrong with distant relationships, as long as there is honesty and trust, and you do plan on meeting one day. Otherwise, honestly, its a waste of time. UNLESS, thats what you both want. Maybe its easier for some people, but not me. I want someone I can at least be able to hug or kiss when I feel it, or simply see their smile in person.
(if any of you want, I can go into great detail of the whole relationship.)
Anyway, in the end, I suspected she was married. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/21/2006 10:02:08 PM | The most distance-filled relationship I was in was my marriage ~ we lived in the same house and were further apart than people on different continents.
Geography is the location in which you reside ~ distance is a matter of the heart. I'd happily be geographically challenged ~ but I will never again be in a relationship filled with distance.  | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/21/2006 10:12:01 PM | The most distance-filled relationship I was in was my marriage ~ we lived in the same house and were further apart than people on different continents
That is a very astute thought.
And one I that I unfortunately can relate to all too well | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/21/2006 11:04:20 PM | my family is near where i live, my job is here and it would be hard to find another in this
field that pays as well. so i can't see me moving and i don't know if it is fair to expect
her to move. so if neither of us is willing to move,we are not going to be seeing each
other. still can be friends though. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/22/2006 1:01:55 AM | I am a US citizen, i talked to over a hundred girls on POF, many form within driving distance, only to be let down again and again. Finally i met a girl that i hit it off well with as friends, the problem was that she lived in Europe, talk about distance...sheez. We would talk nearly everday for about a year through yahoo messenger, but still dated people in our locale. Finally we met, and she came to the states to meet me. It was the most amazing , loving, physical asa well as spiritual experience i have ever had. 3 months later i went to visit her in England. A year after that and i'm living here, soon to be married, and never happier in my life.
I found the love of my life here!! I think the key was that we chatted for nearly a year before we met which was the best thing that ever happened to me as i used to have no patience and jump into things for fear of being alone, a lesson well learned. Friends first people, thats the key, thanks POF. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/23/2006 3:36:14 PM | | bella ""When it rains it reminds me of you. Although 2000 miles away is so far I still always walk outside in the rain and kiss it just for you. It never fails me. The rain will always come and I'll always love you. Next time you see a storm on the horizon please don't fear it's just heaven doing me the favor of taking you my kiss. Walk outside and kiss the rain whenever you need me." Laugh at you?? Hardly!! Thanks for sharing, hon, that is beautiful!! HUGS!! | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/23/2006 4:09:31 PM | the only way distance can be a problem is if you let it be a problem. just like in bucsgirl's case. you never know where you are going to find love. you never know if your soulmate is going to be your next door neighbor or someone on the other side of the world.
good to see you bucsgirl. wish you all the best. | |
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zero
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Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| distance problems
Posted: 9/23/2006 4:35:39 PM | | True unless it is someone in my circumstance. I sometimes look in other areas , mainly ones I would relocate to. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/23/2006 5:07:14 PM | well zero that's cool. at least it would increase your chances. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/23/2006 5:12:38 PM | | Well its true love can be many miles away, but hey if you relocate then you know its well worth it. I'd relocate for the love of my life (now where is she)....lol | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/23/2006 5:59:17 PM | I used to live in NY..... moved to VA a few months ago. I started talking to a man that lived about 4 1/2 hours form where I lived up there. We are still talking and we will meet one day. Both of us have things going on in real life that need to be taken care of before we can go full steam ahead. It gives us a chance to get to know each other without the pressures of the physical part of the relationship. Patience is a must. And besides.... if things work out...... I'd be more than happy to move back to NY with the way things are going here in VA.....LOL.
Considering the amount of people on this earth...... the chance of finding the ONE for you right in your own backyard (so to speak) is pretty slim. The internet is a wonderful thing for meeting people in other places.... and who knows what wonderful things may happen when you broaden your horizons!!!!
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/23/2006 7:41:07 PM | Hello Everyone,
Once we meet and spend a few days together would give me enough
time to know rather or not its going to work out.
The fun part would be traveling back and fourth to each other's homes,
getting to know the family,and knowing in your heart its what you
really want to do.
The question is how long does it take before you know that he or she
is the one? | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/23/2006 10:11:40 PM | | I'm originally from the East Coast, and moved to rural Minnesota just over a year ago. Its quiet and peaceful where I live, and a wonderul place to raise a family, but its rural for sure, small town America, and hard to meet a special lady. If someone catches my eye, usually with a thoughtful post or something that stands out in their profile that leads me to believe we might be compatible, I'll send them a message and let them decide if the distance is too big of an obstacle to overcome. If she's emphatic about distance, she has the "75 mile" limit turned on. Otherwise, I'll write and introduce myself, and like my profile says, "...should we hit it off, hopefully the geography will resolve itself at some point." I'm a person who loves to travel, within reason, and wouldn't be opposed to meeting someone at my regional airport or hers once we've talked and decided that was the logical next step. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/24/2006 3:46:10 AM | Well, Distance can be a good thing, cause since its such a huge distance, in encourages you to get to know them better, instead of chatting for a few months or so and then meeting, you will chat for like a year or so.
If you can chat for 4 years straight, then there is something special there.
My sister met her fiancee on Sims Online, in the beginning they were just friends and then they started liking each other, they are a perfect match i guess, she has gone to him several times already and she is happy with him.
So Romance is possible anywhere, so don't just throw away a chance in a life time, if you are with someone and only here for the forums, what do you care if women mail you, perhaps all they want is someone to chat to and that doesn't require you to be in the same timezone as each other. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/24/2006 6:49:19 AM |
But Canada to Alabama???
How about Venezuela to Alabama?? About 2053 miles away...
I've been there, done that (with a woman actually from Bama). And got not just a t-shirt, but honors. My experience locally has been unsuccessful, so I tried the LDR way. I'm single, no kids, no compromises that tie me here, I speak perfect english... So I said why the hell not.
The connection is spiritual 100%. If you have a successful spiritual LDR relationship, meeting face to face will consolidate it. I believe that relationships that do not have a spiritual background can be prone to failure. But hey, feet have to be on the ground at all times. Be always prepared to face reality when it turns its ugly head on you. If you don't have serious intentions and enough money to take a flight, don't even try. Hands on your heart, but also on your wallet. If you have the privilege to connect spiritually and have the means to make it happen, then you're on your way to an everlasting relationship.
We tried our best after almost 2 years, but meeting never took place, so we failed.
My favorite band, Dream Theater, has verses in a song that come to mind:
"Over the distance
We try to make sense
Of surviving together
While living apart
Striving for balance
We rise to the challenge
Of staying connected
In spite of circumstance"
Make sense, surviving together, staying connected...
Peace  | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 9/24/2006 9:25:00 AM | | Whenever this subject comes up, everyone seems to confuse 'being in love at a distance' with 'looking for love at a distance'. These are two VERY different things. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/5/2006 11:14:39 PM | To get into a long distance relationship
(which in my opinion, if it is true love, then one or the other must relocate eventually, or both move to a new place together altogether)..
the same getting to know each other process must take place ...dating.
If you meet someone online and find each other irresistible, then go for it. Keep in mind the dating; courting, getting to know each other...whatever you choose to call it still must take place.
There is no possible way to "fall in love" with someone at a distance without spending a significant amount of time with each other...in person. If you have the time and energy to date someone far away...no problem.
What concerns me is people who are "in love" after one or two meetings, exclusive, when there is no way to make that determination without dating first.
There may be those who will disagree with me (I hope not) but truly if there is someone who thinks they have found the “Love of their life” online, and have only had one or two meetings (or, worse) have not even met in person yet, they are only fooling themselves.
There really is no big deal in dating someone at a distance. I have done it...If you plan a date on Monday, for example, for Friday...or for a weekend, you will just plan on spending a little time on a plane to get there...
Maybe the point is dating someone out of town can have it's perks...you get to travel a bit, get out of your surroundings for awhile, while developing a relationship. As long as you have the time and energy to do it...
now, it is very important to note, the same dating process is going on as you were dating someone locally. In other words your chances are as good meeting someone special locally, as they are at a long distance. The odds of not..also, all things being equal is a factor.
Bottom line is you will need to date as many out of town as you would locally.
Good luck, and make sure to pick a good frequent flyer program. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/12/2006 2:16:11 AM | I think the only real distance problem is not enough love to sustain the relationship through the distance.
Love for all,
-Onyx blue
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