| distance problems
Posted: 10/12/2006 6:20:30 AM | | I like what is all being said but has anyone deal with the fact that some people where you live at dont want to even get to know you for whatever reason without even really knowing you. I know people who are five miles from me who are worth dating but dont want to get to know me this women told me something like I was to good to date her. This stuff makes me laugh when I read personals on this site and on others. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 5:57:12 AM | | The first contact is usually because of an interest from the other persons profile. The same thing that would have caught your eye had the person of interest lived the next town over from where you lived. The distance might be great but that does not mean there is no chance to ever meeting. ( Endure Forum ) Some people look at this as an adventure and not as a determent. There is no detour to love. But, do these long distance relationships survive? Thats for another Forum. | |
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EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 53 | |
| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 6:01:58 AM | You could have all kinds of restriction in your profile if you want. But my dear, why would you want to.
Sometimes we find love in the strangest places.
Sister EB | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 6:34:53 AM | Um well yer, i sought of have a small distance problem, and it's very frustrating. There are so many guys on this site i would dearly love to meet, but there is this great big ocean in the way. Does anyone know Moses? Can someone ask him to part the ocean for me please? It was Moses that parted the sea wasn't it???  | |
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EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 55 | |
| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 6:37:18 AM | It really was God's doing he made Moses barely his vessel.
But my dear, you would still have a long walk.
Sister EB | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 6:43:34 AM | EBI....I wasn't intending to walk, he has too! lol! I was just gonna organize the ocean parting thing. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 10:00:31 AM | Distance is never a problem at first, just takes work, plus you get to see new places and people outside of your area that way. Down the road as the relationship progresses is when you can run into some problems, the biggest being where your going to live, ie; who is moving to whom or maybe a compromise to agree to move to a place together.
-Sean | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 11:53:37 AM | | To all those who have "successfully" dated long distance, I have a question: If the object of your email affections is about 6 hours away, you meet in the middle for THE FIRST MEETING, how do you handle the awkwardness of "how long do we meet?", "Do we stay overnight in the in-between location?" and if so, how do you handle the "I don't really know you, so can't see staying the in the same room" thing? Lot's of questions because I've never even considered dating/meeting someone outside my area (50 miles). btw, I am looking for long-term, am a single parent, and cannot move for at least 4 years. HELP!!! | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:05:25 PM | | Not everyone is chained to where they live. I highly doubt I will meet the love o' my life within a 50 mile radius of Barney Fifedom, so I am keeping my options open. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:19:19 PM | Frau ~ exactly.
~OT~ There is no way the right man for me lives here. In fact, my guess is he lives on the other side of the continent. It's just geography and if it happens, I am certainly not going to let a geographical move detour my life/happiness. JMO  | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:26:33 PM | I tried a LDR, for over a year. He lived on the coast, and I live mid-continent. We took turns flying back and forth to see each other on various holidays. We maintained "fidelity" during the course of our relationship. My heart finally broke when I realized that I couldn't live without touching and cuddling and affection IN PERSON. To be cut off from that was a pain I couldn't handle. I will admit, that each time we were together, some affection time was lost initially as two near-strangers had to get familiar and comfortable once again. It didn't help matters for me that he wasn't really a touchy/feely person. The terrible thing about LDR's is that you tend to compress a lot into time you are together, because you feel the need to "get to know" in a short time. This puts a lot of stress on the relationship (and is not natural) and as always, the best foot is forward. I think the trick to LDR is being able to survive on the times spent together and communicate a lot when you are not together in person... if you have only 20 days together in a year, and you are trying to figure out whether someone will move (because one way or another someone does!) in order to carry the relationship on in person, there is no stress quite like it. I now know I can't do this, a LDR will not satisfy the needs I have to be touched, held and do activities with my chosen, a few times a year.
Tis true, you can't help where you find love, but knowing now what I do, I think I should have opted out and become nothing more than a pen-pal/chat buddy.
Tess | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:26:44 PM | I have no idea why people make such a big deal about the distance thing.
I understand the need to want to meet people close by and that’s cool too. But don’t beat up the person who wants to give themselves a chance by reaching out beyond their locality.
The whole reason why we are on here is to give ourselves the chance to meet people coz likely we weren’t meet that many on our own. So now that we are here and people are interested to get to know us, what’s the complaint!!??
If you don’t want to deal with the distance say ‘No Thanks’ and let that be the end of it. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 12:33:04 PM | | Doesn't bother me a bit. I think it's good to have friends in all places. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 1:31:11 PM | | Sound to me like she just enjoys email chat . No danger of the relationship deveoping with you that far away . | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 6:04:30 PM | Sooo....I'm still hoping someone can give me advice about the FIRST meeting with an LDR so that I can at least see if there's any pizzazz in person...ANYBODY???  | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 6:47:15 PM | | distance in measured in miles.....love cannot be measured...........i'm not sure one would, or should cancel out the other.... | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/29/2006 7:28:41 PM | Distance problems?
Who knew that would be a problem... In an instant society, there are drive threws, perhaps that would be more to your liking?
I met someone from a distant land far far away, who contacted who isn't important, but i'm thankful for the freind i have gained. Neither of us was much interested in a relationship so there wasn't any stress or anxiety at all when we met, 1st month we just e-mailed in the safety of this site, and now we chat on msn. I've never been able to talk to anyone like the way I have with her. I'll be going to meet this wonderful freind, planning for easter. We are both perfectly happy with our lives, being alone, yet meeting each other has changed something within me. No matter if we hit it off in person or not, we would at least be freinds. I'd go visit a freind like her no matter where she lived. Life is full of possibility, being open to them is the only way we will ever continue being happy. The moment we close ourselves off or limit the possibilities life has to offer we have put a limit on our own happiness.
There would be no lost time, or wasted emotion, if it didn't work out to be closer freinds and work towards something more. I'll be moving in two years anyhow, her area wasn't my first choice but the genral area was. So even if freinds it would be, I would definately choose that area. Good freinds are a rare. And if we didn't choose to be freinds after meeting, i would still be moving.
There is no risk, only oppertunities. There is no loss, as i've already gained so much more then if i didn't meet her, not that its about gaining anything. We each hold each others heart in sacred reguard, keeping our boundries clear and honoring each others. Being open while keeping ourselves in check is a challenge of charactor and values and being congruent with them.
Bottom line here is she has made an impact on my life that will last a life time no matter what. If either of us would of said bugger off because your to far away, my life wouldn't of been changed the way it has.
crazylilting | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/30/2006 8:19:07 AM | i dont think distance should be a problem,well thats saying that both people are in the uk.i have had two long distance relationships im from scotland and married a guy from sussex.ok we split up later on but not through distance lol also dated a guy from manchester lasted 6 months.yes it has it problems but if u love sum1 then distance shouldnt be a prob. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/30/2006 12:07:34 PM | I know several people in long distance relationships, and some have worked out wonderfully. My mother taught me..."que sera sera"...what will be will be..and if it's meant to be, neither time nor distance will prevent that from happening. (My mother was the smartest woman in the world.. lol : ) I feel that if both parties are mutually willing to make it work, it can and will.
Besides...the heart knows no distance!!!
Personally, I've turned over every stone in my backyard and know that the person I'm searching for isn't here. At this stage of my life there's no way I'd give up on someone I hit it off great with because of distance. I'd find a way to make it work!!  | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/31/2006 5:46:31 AM | | Invest in a microphone and a webcam.. meet them online first..before you buy (or let them buy a plane/train or bus ticket...Tell them to get a mic and web cam too... or if possible (if you feel you want to), help them to get those things. Having done a few LRD dates myself, pics, emails & IMs back and forth and chatting on the phone is not as reliable as spending some time talking to the person face to face & real time live on a webcam. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/31/2006 6:02:45 AM | | they do it because the are looking for someone to talk to without getting emotionally damaged in the end. you are a safe relationship because you are so far away. you will always be perfect, because you will never meet, and the other person will never 'really' know you. and vice versa, remember. they may not be having much luck in their neck of the woods, and or they just want a breathing human to talk to. or maybe they found you in the forums? try to not treat them too harshly. they're looking for something, just like the rest of us, but you maybe should let them know the chat will never be seriously romantic. you could be great mates (friends). make sure you have reached an understanding, or just move along. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/31/2006 6:13:21 AM | | i have a darling friend in texas, i live in england, i am going there in january to see his world and he will join me later in the year to see mine, none of us know the future and life, all aspects of it involves trusting your instincts and taking risks, if my friend and i dont make the grade as life partners he will always be my friend as we are so in tune with each other, distance is no object to love, negativity is xx | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 10/31/2006 6:17:15 AM | Distance can be a problem. But the more open you can be to meeting people the better the chances of meeting some really nice people as well as possibly someone to love.
Why not at least get to know each other on line and who knows, you might be surprised. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 11/1/2006 3:13:42 AM | | I agree distance should not matter if ur just on for email chat but that should be mutual for both parties. and If it's not a big deal then why lie about where u live in the first place. A gurl maybe taking a few years off of her age is one thing lol but because u don't have to give a full address then why not be honest about where u live?. that gives the others a chance to say no if thats and issue. | |
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| distance problems
Posted: 11/1/2006 11:22:08 PM | If you limit yourself with distance requirements, you may miss out on the love of your life. I have had several relationships out of state through the years and even a long distance relationship with a man in England. Talk about frequent flyer miles...lol | |
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