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| IT happens.
Posted: 2/14/2009 5:41:25 PM | | Y's you asking? | |
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| The Spanish Inquisition.
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:23:07 PM | Why am I asking? I asked about all that sh!t because you seem to really know your sh!t. Perhaps you could say that I give a sh!t, or simply that I'm curious.
And if you are Senior (Sr.), one assumes that it is caused by a Junior, or you are the cause of him. *wink* Get it? A play on your play on words. Well, maybe you had to be there... Wait, if there is a Jr. you were there!
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| Spansh Inquisition.
Posted: 2/14/2009 9:40:19 PM |
Why, when someone dumps a load in the toilet and flushes it, it's called "taking" a sh!t? You obviously don't want it or you wouldn't flush and leave. And conversely: Why, when you care, is it called "giving" a sh!t? Are there people who ask for sh!t? Or want sh!t? Who are these people? I can give them plenty of sh!t if they really want it...
The first post remains as a question, while the second was humorous/facetious, as the poster lists "no children". I'd still like to know what Sr.Laughalot replies to the first question.
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| Spansh Inquisition.
Posted: 2/15/2009 5:07:33 AM | Well I dont really know what u'r implying But this guy has no kids. Sir.To me meant like night in shining armour( kinda lol)
As far as people wanting and giving shit well That is the question... I wouldent know.... | |
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| But anyway I got another joke for today....
Posted: 2/15/2009 5:12:55 AM | A white guy and a black guy are standing at urinals lettin' it go.... The white guy happens to glance over at the black guys peker and notices he got a tattoo...He says to the black guy Hey you got the same tattoo I got you ol' lady's name is Welma too!...
The black guy replies "no man" he grabs the foreskin and gives it a stretch... Mine says "Welcome to Jamaica" ....... | |
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| But anyway I got another joke for today....
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:50:02 PM | The Wongs
Su Wong marries Lee Wong.
The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings out a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.
'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents.
'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says,
'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...
Are you ready for this?
Sum Ting Wong
You know you laughed and are going to send this on!!! | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 3/10/2009 5:18:02 PM | An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
PS: SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 3/10/2009 5:21:13 PM | WHAT RETIRED PEOPLE DO:
Working people frequently ask us retired people what we do to make our days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Dumb A**'. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So Jeanne called him a 'S*** Head'. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Then, our bus arrived. | |
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| IT happens.
Posted: 3/10/2009 5:24:00 PM | Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" | |
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| IT happens.
Posted: 3/10/2009 5:48:53 PM | Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another patient asked, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "Because God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!" | |
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| IT happens.
Posted: 3/10/2009 6:05:09 PM | THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "GUTS" AND "BALLS":
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask:
"Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say:
"You're next."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject. | |
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| But anyway I got another joke for today....
Posted: 3/10/2009 6:48:27 PM | | To match Sir Laughalots joke: A white guy and a black guy are out on a bridge late one evening fishing. Both had to pee at the same time. The white guy flips it out and it falls to hit the surface of the water. "Gee, the water is pretty warm" The black guy says "ya, its deep too" | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 3/10/2009 7:20:34 PM | ONE of my all time favorite jokes, which is very likely scattered somewhere in this mess also:
A man says to his wife "I bet you cant say something that will make me happy and sad at the same time"
She thinks for a couple of seconds and says "your c*ck is bigger than your brothers" | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 3/10/2009 9:00:36 PM | | How about.. Maybe I have Alzheimer's but at least I don't have Alzheimers | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 3/10/2009 9:48:10 PM | What do you call a gay dinosaur?
... A Verysaurass. | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 3/11/2009 12:21:09 AM | | what did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? if we were fresh we wouldnt be in this jam! | |
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Kaos86
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Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 772 | |
| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:05:06 AM | The World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
The girl said, 'NO!'
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles
and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and
drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and
farted whenever he wanted.
THE END | |
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FrmGuy
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Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 774 | |
| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:36:46 PM | A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box ."
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that, You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!" | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 4/11/2009 5:00:48 PM | From Drew Carey:(not as he said it)
When its raining I like to purposely get cops to get out of their cars. I would run a red light the cop will get out and ask "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
I say "Do you know why I ran the light?" | |
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