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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 10/27/2009 6:51:47 PM | Have you heard the joke of the no and me neither?
"No"
Me neither.....
....Don't you get it?
"No!"
...me neither...
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:02:39 PM | This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards.
One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian.
She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve.
"Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella' s door and the sugly isters let him in.
Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.
"Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers.
This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married.
The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:55:51 AM | How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the lightbulb has to really WANT to change.
I used to be a huge coke addict. But eventually I had to stop, because the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nose. | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:35:05 PM | THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's crack?
If not, you're wondering now aren't you? Have a nice day .
So folks, always remember to wash your hands after handling money
That's my public service announcement for the day.... Thank you | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:06:43 PM | what do you call...
five chinese guys
standing next to
one italian guy
standing next to
five afican american guys?
why a sprinkler of course!
chinkchinkchinkchinkchink
wop
niganiganiganiganiga.
ooooooooooooooo | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:23:47 AM | One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vag1na. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vag1na!".
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit".
The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vag1na. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my pen1s and insert it into your wife's vag1na. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my d1ck I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my pen1s out of your wife's vag1na."
The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, yes, whatever, just get on with it."
So the doctor, after covering the tip of his pen1s with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vag1na. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper".
So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement, she began to moan and groan aloud, "Oh doctor, doctor!" she shouted. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself.
He then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises.
The husband, at this point, suddenly became very annoyed and shouted. "Now wait a minute, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" he blasted.
The doctor, still concentrating, replied: "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the barstard!!" | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:05:52 PM | Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Harley Biker are all walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie..
The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada ' POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land..' POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.'
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country.. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.'
The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigar, smiles and says, 'Fill it with water.' | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 11/11/2009 2:48:56 PM | A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky cleared above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied - 'You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?' | |
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| Joke of the day !!
Posted: 11/15/2009 7:33:23 AM | Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either." | |
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| why parachutes for the cargo in weather balloons are orange.
Posted: 11/20/2009 4:28:56 PM | The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how do You determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' I said. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'
'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'
ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
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