| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/28/2006 4:14:20 PM | Oohhh boy!! A Texas man (TXMN). :-p I can just have way too much fun with this. ;-) I read your profile and will say the Minnesota Golden Gophers are an AWESOME hockey team, but I still think the Wisconsin Badgers can take them. I don't know how much is still true, but I read somewhere that Texas at one time had laws that allowed one to drink and drive WHILE carrying a loaded firearm in your lap and it was illegal to sell dildos. Talk about a redneck's wet dream (I also noticed you have a trailer, so this just fits too well for razzing you). So the redneck's wet dream....loaded weapon, beer, truck, woman is stuck being horny at the trailer. Last I read, they now allow the sale of "toys" but there is a gag rule on their use, so no instruction verbal or written is allowed (not that most need it, but hey, some do).
Please pardon my making fun, but Texas is too easy. I have lots more, but I should probably do that off the forums. Send a message if you want the whole Texas thing. I actually want to go there to see my favorite band play: Deaf Pedestrians.
Ok, so that was off topic. Yes, I saw the South Park movie. I was going to make some smart remark about Canadians ability with mathematics and why they don't have nuclear weapons. I sure hope all understand that I'm just making fun, but that might explain why I'm single also (I can't pass up a good jab).
MDNinja seems to OFFICIALLY have his answer now, though he might come back requesting a percentile to attach to "maybe". | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/28/2006 7:33:19 PM | Well, according to my calculations, if you are at equal distance from the grocery store, you are 48 seconds behind them upon arrival. As the fruit and vegetables are situated at the front of the grocery store in 99,9% of the cases, they have had almost a minute more than you to pick out their purchases and since there are two of them, this doubles the picking out capacity so they have a total of almost two minutes of vegetable-fruit picking already done, which, since they are only two people, means that they are all done. So by the time you pass the fruit and vegetable aisle to make it to the meat department, they are already headed for the cash. Factor in the fact that you must locate the extra lean ground beef and then must find the premade patties and then double-back to the buns (since you wouldn't want to get the burger buns first in order not to squish them in your basket), the cashier is now ringing their order. So you get in line exactly two people behind them and launch into one of the jokes that is to be found on this site - a funny one.
Since 80% of your jokes are funny and 90% of people laugh at them, this means you have 72% success rate. Out of the five people present - the teller, the two hotties and the two customers in front of you, 3.6 people will laugh at your joke - we will round it out to 4 people, making it the teller (1), the couple in front of you (2) and the guy behind the little old lady behind you (1), who will smile at anything because he found gas at 70c/ltr. Wait, where did these last two people come from? Well, unfortunately, the two hotties don't hear your joke because they are rustling the bags to put in their fruits and veggies, so we had to add two people to the equation to get our 72%.
So while the couple in front of you is paying for their order, the hotties are gathering their bags. There is still a chance!! Hurry teller, hurry!
At last, you are up to cash and the teller cracks a joke about meat eaters and their amazing skillsets. You give a little laugh and in the two seconds it takes you to do so, you turn to see the door is closing on the two hotties, holding hands. But then as you glance at your receipt, and see a phone number scrawled on it along with a note that says "I'm off now", you realize that gas can wait and silently thank the guy behind you for slipping you a condom. You then wait, with your ground beef (lean only because you were in too much of a rush to pick up the extra lean), burger patties and buns, just outside the door and you both walk off in the sunset, in the direction of the nearest hotel, two blocks away.
Once your time is up, you head back to your place where she freezes the meat you didn't need and heeds to the meat you didn't freeze.
The END | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 48 | |
| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/29/2006 4:02:34 PM |
Bush didn't say anything stupid... Oh, come on...the man has never said anything that WASN'T stupid! | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 50 | |
| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/29/2006 5:41:23 PM | | ^^^^^^I guess you haven't heard him much, then. The man is an idiot. It's called an opinion, get used to it. The Dixie Chicks rule!!!!!! | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/29/2006 5:47:21 PM | "hi chaz"
Oh hey layinlow! Sorry for the late hi, did not see it before.
Has the OP done anything about his dilemna yet? | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/29/2006 6:29:11 PM | eldubu - You seem to have more of a problem with my opinion than I do with yours, I can't help it if I'm right!!!  Besides, don't you know that your opinion on Bush is irrelevant to this forum or to me for that matter it's just stupid that's all!!! | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 53 | |
| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/29/2006 6:48:12 PM |
You seem to have more of a problem with my opinion than I do with yours Sorry, but I don't believe I called YOUstupid (twice)...so it seems you have more of a problem. You brought Bush up, not me. I will say it again, he is an idiot. I would love to hear examples of some of the intelligent things he has said, instead of you just calling people stupid for thinking he's a mental midget. | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/29/2006 8:47:12 PM | Woohooo!!! Cat fight. :-p Any bets??? I'd bet $50 on TXMN, because we all know all real men have double-wide trailers. 
Ya know...with all the outsourcing these days, a cow-orker suggested that we outsource the presidency to India. :-) [and before anyone jumps on it, the co-workers I like become cow-orkers (WI native..whaddaya expect?)..and yes, I've found it does get frowned on at work] :-p
Hmmmm, this got waaayyyy off topic. Sorry folks...my bad for bringing Bush into the picture. 
Speaking of stupid, did the intelligence level of the two chics that MDNinja is after figure into this equation at all? See..if he tells a joke that's over their heads, he won't get them laughing. Can one tell the intelligence level from 8 km away? If he's focusing on their intelligence level, does it then cease to exist? What if each of them have an IQ of 280 and think he's a dork? He also has not bothered to consider if they are lesbian or not. | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/29/2006 9:11:13 PM | Oh, and Eldubu...you would have had to seen the South Park Movie to get what TXMN was saying. In that movie, Canada was the evil empire the northern ranges of the US declared war on. Also, saying Bush said something stupid is sort of stating the obvious. Oh, and for the record, I brought Bush up. (Ya know....there's a really dirty comment in there somewhere). Maybe this forum would be more exciting if it went straight to the gutter?
Either way, I'm very capable of defending the trouble I make myself. You forget, despite my more liberal viewpoints, like every good American, I know how to use weapons, start fights, and most likely own way more than I could ever possibly need or use. | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/30/2006 4:20:17 AM | "I would love to hear examples of some of the intelligent things he has said, instead of you just calling people stupid for thinking he's a mental midget." I really don't need to comment after that brilliant use of thought proccesses!!!
At least He is trying to solve the problem, I didn't hear any solutions coming from you!! Why don't you get elected President and talk people filled with hate into not killing everybody! OH yea, they cut innocent peoples heads off. Lets be nice to them maybe they won't hurt us if we all become subserviant Muslems!!! Sure!!!
Huh!!! Your from Canada and can't be President - Let the Bombs Fall!!!!    
To the stranger - There's nothing dirty about a nice clean Bush!!! | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/30/2006 8:11:08 AM | Cheese-n-rice people!!! This thread (most likely including me) needs to lighten up. I thought we were trying to get MDNinja laid here. 
If either of those two girls read this thread he started, I think his chances go down by 75%. | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/30/2006 9:09:26 AM | TXMN: Stop spaming the thread. You may have had a point about GWB, until you said "proccesses" and "Muslems"
Thread: Driver wanted was declared the winner of this thread. Now you can issues challenges. | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/30/2006 9:30:43 AM | | damn metric system ... In the us the only people that use metric unit in with there dating situations are drug dealer and doctors ... | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/30/2006 10:57:53 AM |
Driver wanted was declared the winner of this thread. I protest!!! | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 61 | |
| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/30/2006 3:46:27 PM | | TXMN...nothing like reading into what I'm saying. Apparently, not liking Bush means that I am FOR the terrorists. I am still entitled to my opinions, whether you agree or not. And yes, I am Canadian, and proud of it. | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/30/2006 6:23:08 PM | | Ninja - I protest also!!! The way I see it, I won, for I am a legand in my own mind!!!! | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 64 | |
| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/30/2006 7:43:27 PM |
Oh, and Eldubu...you would have had to seen the South Park Movie to get what TXMN was saying. In that movie, Canada was the evil empire the northern ranges of the US declared war on. Also, saying Bush said something stupid is sort of stating the obvious. Oh, and for the record, I brought Bush up. (Ya know....there's a really dirty comment in there somewhere). Maybe this forum would be more exciting if it went straight to the gutter?
Either way, I'm very capable of defending the trouble I make myself. You forget, despite my more liberal viewpoints, like every good American, I know how to use weapons, start fights, and most likely own way more than I could ever possibly need or use.
I have seen the movie. That wasn't the issue. The issue was that Bush is an idiot, I made that comment and TXMN went for it. I didn't have an issue with what you wrote, you didn't call me stupid for not agreeing with everything you've said. | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 9/30/2006 7:54:41 PM | | You will never meet the women, the fruit and veggies are not in the same section as the grocery store. The women who eat the fruit and veggies obviously are vegetarians and dwould not date a guy with salmonella filled hamburger... cause eating cows is disgusting to them, so they would run the other way! | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 10/3/2006 5:53:31 PM | | Obviously mice fiddling with the improbability drive. With probable cause of course. | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 11/10/2006 9:00:10 PM | | For every action there is an equal and..........................oppps I already said that . | |
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| I have this problem....
Posted: 11/10/2006 9:17:02 PM | Sorry, too many questions, too many posts. I apologize if this has been said.
what is the chances of me geting one of the womans phone numbers?
Zero. | |
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lorie1
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Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 70 | |
| I have this problem....
Posted: 1/11/2007 6:53:27 PM | Eldubu! I have a real problem with ladies like you who knock George Bush.Honest to God,you dont say what issue your on about,just pick on George because he's the Guy to pick on!
Okay- here goes-I Like him! Know why? I bet you don't!
I was in TO during the 911.I watched Bush walking through the rubble of the aftermath of the damned thing on the world trade center around 4 P.M. the same damned day.He was in tears,and stood like a man,in that whole nightmare,and bore it as much as you or I did.
I remember Clinton-now there was an emabarrassment to the US! He was probably getting a blow job from some tart that thought her toungue would turn to gold meeting Billy Bob's bob.
Okay! I am really steamed! Bush may not be the smartest tack in the drawer,but as far as a fine human being is considered,in my books,lay off BUSH! he's worth his wieght in gold,as far as most presidents of the US of A have been in my life time.Sheesh!
Boy oh Boy, you tick me off big time! And I am A Canadian!
Elbudu, in my estimation,Your opinoin of George Bush is big time dumb!
Grow the heck up, we are both in way over our heads in Yankee politics.
Bush is Good.He's the right guy for the job.
Every time I have ever been in any trouble,overseas,whether it's been a car runout of gas,or lost along the way,it's been an American that came to the rescue.
Somehow, the U.S. manages to get things straight enough that I,as a Canadian,can find a friend to help!
Get a bit grateful to your Country,just a bit like I am,and darn it,quit griping on Bush!
God Almighty,if I hear one more complaint against the US,I swear,I will swear,big time!You'll hear it across the border!!!
The US of A is terrific!So is Canada! We are so darned lucky to be living here! | |
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