Fran47
| | Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 101 | |
| | It's Not Over at 45Page 5 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) |
Perhaps not over, but there's clearly a problem. It's a gridlocked market. You have sellers (women) with historical expectations but declining marginal attractiveness. You have buyers (men) who are no longer willing or able to pay the "market price".
From my own viewpoint, the sex just wasn't that good and it cost too much.
Broward Wow.... no wonder you are alone with this kind of attitude.
I am 49 and actually this is the best days of my life. Was in a marriage for 24 years, and now after a 1 1/2 am finally ready to go on. And the best news of all..... I finally have no baggage and have no drama going on in my life. You mentioned declining in different areas as you get older.... No Way!! Just beginning to live | |
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tmotts
| | Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 102 | |
| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/21/2007 4:30:30 PM | | I very rarely ever go on this forum......over forty. My God some of the topics sound so defeated and depressing. Shit I am as vibrant today as I was 10 years ago if not more. Yes I am older but my spirit is still so young. People need to stop feeling sorry for themselves and just live! gotta change your whole mindset and stop hanging around with negative complaining people. | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/21/2007 4:42:41 PM |
"no wonder you are alone with this kind of attitude."
It's not an attitude, it's the truth.
Most women don't want to hear it, though.
I could pick up some chick, wow her and bang her. This weekend I had two latin women of about 40, one of them was locked on to me with body language like a fricking heat-seeking torpedo and I had another one stalking me around the club, purposely setting herself within range of me, waiting for an advance.
Neither of them appealed that much to me. I suppose most men would have told them what they wanted to hear, banged them and dumped them. No, they had that "permanent relationship" look. Not into it. | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/21/2007 4:48:02 PM |
"some of the topics sound so defeated and depressing"
That's your interpretation.
Fact - I've met about 150 women in the past year and I'm floored at their expectations and preconceived notions. I never dreamed it would be this sucky. I was kind of looking forward to being single again, to fix what I did wrong the first time but it's far harder than I anticipated.
And I'm still glad I'm divorced.
But my expectations are definitely adjusted. Honestly, I wasn't planning to plunder the thirty-year-old cohort but it's just shaping up to look that way by numbers and attitudes. | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:28:21 PM | "Once you're over the hill, you start picking up speed"
I gotta tell you, somehow the baggage I've picked up over the years has made my journey a lot lighter! I'm less likely to make the same mistakes I've made in the past, less likely to waste my time on that road that leads absolutely nowhere, and having a lot more fun along the way. Forget about needing new spectacles... I have a much clearer vision of what's important to me and what makes me happy. And frankly, the whole sex and romance thing can wait until I meet someone who's not going to turn me into a pack mule for their baggage. Only men with positive, healthy outlooks need apply.... | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:48:07 PM | Hey Gang:
I have to tell you that not only is it NOT over at 45.....that's Nothing. It's not even over at 70...so there. I LOVE my baggage. Because of it I have learned SOOO MUCH!
I don't carry it around with me.....it's on the shelf...right where I can reach it to apply all the great knowledge I gained while I was packing it.
I would say that the most difficult part, but not impossible, is finding GOOD men in the upper age brackets. I cannot connect with men who are younger than my own son. There is a certain point where we are just two different generations. However, I have met some gentlemen who are younger, and we have enjoyed time spent together.
I have only been online for a couple of months, and have met my share of players, but, what THEY don't know is that I have lived and learned...now, if I can only hold on to that wisdom and REMEMBER it, I'll be good to go for many more years.
A lot of it has to do with ATTITUDE.... Not only do I have SPUNK, I have ATTITUDE....and...it's pretty well adjusted, if I say so myself.
And, that's how I feel.... | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/21/2007 7:06:08 PM | Thanks for your input Knittin Kitten.
I've been jabberin' on these forums for a year now, for what it's worth. And, one of the things I say over and over again and a motto I live by is (and people are probably tired of hearing this)............
You attract what your ATTITUDE suggests
Be positive....attract positive.
Be negative....attract negative.
Be wise....attract wisdom.
Be stupid...attract stooopid
And, I liken my baggage to a " small carry-on" stored on the shelf to pull down when I need it to refer to some life experience in order to apply it to today.
And, it's not over 'til the fat lady sings.
Thanks everyone.
Muskoka
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coug4
| | Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 109 | |
| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/21/2007 7:13:26 PM | | Muskoka said..." And it's not over 'til the fat lady sings". What happens if the band quits? Sorry, I'm feeling fiesty tonight. | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/22/2007 1:27:26 AM |
And, it's not over 'til the fat lady sings.
Sssshhh... I thought I heard something.   | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/23/2007 2:32:52 PM | I have a new HERO "knittin kitten"
Now that is a wonderful attitude I can admire and look up to. I love the "put the baggage on the shelf until needed" that is so true, we can't just throw away our baggage, that old baggage is what made us who we are today. Some people use it in the wrong way and are dragged down by it.. others like most on here have taken that baggage.. learned from it... and moved on. But sometimes we do need to pull it off that shelf to remind ourselves why we don't do certain things anymore, why we don't hang around certain people and why we have the standards we have today. Sometimes we have to remember some of those hard knocks to being us back to our sanity about things going on in our lives.
No.. life is not over unless you want it to be. I hope to keep living and learning!!! | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/23/2007 7:15:36 PM | You know, there isn't anything that I did before 45 that I can't do at 60. It may take a bit longer, I will probably enjoy it a bit more along with savoring the opportunity.
On top of that, there are things I can do now that I couldn't get away with prior to 45.
When I look in the mirror, I am still that goofy college student.
Enjoy, Enjoy Enjoy.
Ken | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/24/2007 11:01:59 AM | LMAO.........
Til the fat lady sings??????? LOL........ That is half the problem here with so many thinking it may be over when you reach 40, 50, 60, etc..........tooooo many fat people that can do little else but sing and eat......lol.......
Age should mature us, not defeat us at all, and just because you may be a year older, does not mean that you have to give up respecting your body and mind enough to maintain it the proper way, eat healthy, work out, stay thinner, and enjoy life as we should.
I prefer to share my life with those that are my age or at least closer to my age, but I have no problems sharing it with another who, looks good, acts mature, and stays healthy.......no matter the age........
Just my opinion.........   | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/25/2007 6:27:02 AM | ^^^ that opinion was actually pretty RUDE. If people are overweight and you think you are above them so much, it would be a good idea to just keep that to yourself it makes you look very shallow. That is your choice to think that way about people but sometimes it's better to "not say anything".... silence often makes you look like a much better person than you really are. People who make comments about other people being ugly or overweight, does it make them feel better about themselves to cut others down? You would think with AGE comes some respect for others feelings.
I paint little signs.. I will now make one that say.. "When you get over the hill.. you just pick up speed" I love it!!! I am doing way more with my life now at 48 than I ever did at 28. I have always been active only now it seems I have earned the right to do more and even get away with more. Well, except those dang speeding tickets.. grrr... at 28 I could get away with them better.. hmmm.. ok being younger sometimes has a few advantages I guess. | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/25/2007 7:43:24 AM | I guess what I'm asking is.....is there hope for us now? Now, that we can have what we want from life when we are over 45? Can we have the "It"....sex, romance and a new passion for life, even though life might have handed us some crap?
It's NOT over! It's the beginning of a whole new chapter. By looking at our own mistakes and what we have learned from all of our past experiences, it's a glorious opportunity to start over and enjoy the days ahead.  | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/25/2007 8:14:21 AM |
I've been jabberin' on these forums for a year now, for what it's worth. And, one of the things I say over and over again and a motto I live by is (and people are probably tired of hearing this)............
You attract what your ATTITUDE suggests
Be positive....attract positive.
Be negative....attract negative.
Be wise....attract wisdom.
Be stupid...attract stooopid
How do you explain no attraction then?
Be nothing.... attract nothing | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/25/2007 8:46:29 AM | ^^^ ouch!!!
NObody is nothing!!! You are what you want to be. I see on POF all the time that people say they do not get any emails, responses and they feel something is wrong. Like I tell people, you gotta kiss alot of frogs to find your prince (princess) so just keep kissing. There is someone for everyone. I will disagree on one thing, the negative attracting the negative. I'm a very positive, happy go lucky person and I've managed to attract some pretty negative people. I think sometimes the people who sit around and wollow in themselves and feel sorry about who they are see people who enjoy life and want to grab their shirt tails and go be happy too.
I'm the type person I always try to help people, until I see they do not want to help themselves. Some people have a way of bringing everyone around them down to their self pity level. I will give a person a chance to come out of it, I'll even try to help them but It's takend too many years of being down on myself to let others bring me down. I will be honest with a person, I will tell them to get off their azz and stop feeling sorry for themselves, there is ALWAYS someone who has it worse than they do. Some people I think just want to be pitiful and unhappy. Those people are the types that I will eventually get away from. It doesnt' matter if they are fat.. skinny... smart... rich or poor, sometimes people just can't help it and won't do anything about it to get better about themselves. I have moved on with my life, that just happens to be one of the many lessons I've learned in life. Sometimes you have to move on from certain people that have a negative affect on you and your life...
WOW... where did I get off on all that??? I need to go outside and do some manual labor.. then I'm going to take my big black gelding out for a ride. | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/25/2007 8:55:53 AM | Post above (^^^):  ... Excellent advice. Something in that post for everyone to pick up on.
Post above that:  ... Just nasty. Serves no purpose but to hurt and anger. Highly forgettable.
cdn guy | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/25/2007 3:07:16 PM | How do you explain no attraction then?
Be nothing.....attract nothing.
I agree that this post was nasty and uncalled for.But, I'm certainly not hurt nor am I angry with this person's post...........I just consider the source.
For decades, the favored "public medium" for anonymous and nasty expressions directed towards others, were on public bathroom walls and bathroom stalls. The old stall-writer now has a worldwide audience.
Not much has changed.................
Muskoka | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/26/2007 2:09:02 AM | | Muskoka, give him a break , he has his foot caught in the top of his door..hahaha can make one cranky...and destined to be single a long time ! | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/26/2007 6:56:41 AM | How do you explain no attraction then?
I guess I need to explain that the mark on the end of the above statement means that it is a question. I simply chose to expound on the type of logic presented and this unanswered question showed me the flaw in logic.
Of course no one is is worth nothing but it seems the logic of attraction presented could lead to feeling bad because the truth is the op has complained about a lack of attraction towards her. This simple logic's answer to why attract nothing is obvious to me and I stated it.
I think the logic is flawed and pointed out an extreme example of why.
It's a rough question for some one to answer, why is no one attracted to them. It's typical that the person asking it will not like any real answers as it means they have to admit a flaw in themselves . It's easier to attack the source instead of answer the question. | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/26/2007 9:47:50 AM | | It's not over, it just changes. Instead of looking for someone to love, you can camp out at a dating site and do battle with anyone who volunteers, to remind you of the bad old days bickering with your ex. It takes but a drop of poison to ruin a well. One post here showing off your nasty side will inoculate you against interest for your entire stay here. Having shown up and shown off what a nasty person you can be, the resulting lack of interest only compounds your frustration, making it more likely to be more nasty more often. Eventually you have become a crabby forum troll convinced it is OTHER PEOPLE who are the trolls, and all you're doing is defending yourself or saving the world, some noble cause like that. But, it's what happens when you advertise the hostility that got you single again in the first place. That's the shoe for anyone who wants to try it on. | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/26/2007 5:49:26 PM | | Not sure who you are talking about ^^^ because I get attention, I'm not forum troll and I'm certainly not bitter or angry. So you were saying what exactly? That everyone who comes to a dating sight has no love interest or can't accept it when they get it? I have gotten plenty of chance to meet men, but I have decided not to persue anyone at the moment, most men on here are liars and try to be what they think you want them to be. I just want someone to be honest with who they are, I do not expect someone to do everything I like doing. At 45+ I can be picky... I'm not here for dinner dates. | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:22:32 PM | msg. 122 jumbo shrimp
Since replies are to the Op and I'm the Op of this thread. was your post stating that I am a crabby forum troll? or, were you referring to someone else? Because, from reading my posts on this forum, I think I have remained positve when others are injecting negative commentaries. I try to remain positive in my day to day search, as well.
Please explain....if you are so inclined.
Muskoka | |
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| It's Not Over at 45
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:29:08 PM |
It's not over at 45. "It" being sex, romance, discovery of a new identity and a new passion in life.
To quote musician/songwriter Jim Peterik (Ides of March, Survivor): "The fountain of youth is a state of mind, and age is just a number." I'm 57, sometimes feel like a teenager, and enjoy life more today than I did when I was half my current age. I have met a few women who seem to respond positively to my youthful attitude, especially when it comes to romance; they remember "making out" and certainly know how to kiss, but just haven't had many opportunities in several years.
One lady I know may take things a bit too far, though. Like me, she feels younger than her chronological age, and she looks it too. But when she joins an online dating site, she lists her age as whatever she happens to feel like at the time -- in at least one case, more than a dozen years younger than she happens to be. Then she wonders why some of the men she meets (who are close to her real age) leave her after a date or two for a woman who really is younger. Duh! It's simple; they were looking for someone younger all along, and something about her tipped them off that she isn't "the real deal". It's a shame, because she really is a great woman at any age. | |
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