| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/18/2006 8:14:46 AM | shit somebody call the cops-a woman has been rejected.
just let it go and move on.
Let's have sex!
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pensky
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Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 102 | |
| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/22/2006 5:20:24 PM | | The only experiences that come to my mind of guys saying no were in committed relationships. Most of the time, I understood that something was on their mind, but usually it was because they were upset with me and I knew what about. But I had one boyfriend who really disturbed me because he started saying no so often. I'll never know what exactly was wrong, but then he did allow a new female friend to start hanging out at his place, shortly before he broke up with me. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/22/2006 8:53:42 PM | "Guys don't say no, they don't know how, and mean it. "
That's simply not true about men. If I'm not interested, you can bank on a "NO".
It may be subtle, but it will still be a "NO".
J. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/23/2006 4:10:12 PM | | Yes, guys who say "no" do exist. I am one of them, I have turned down two orgies and still get shit to-this-day from all my friends; I really just don't understand the what would make an orgy so great? I decline every offer that this one woman makes towards me, it was almost to the point where I was going to file for a restraining order; I want to be desired, but not like fatal attraction. There are plenty of guys who say no, we are just hard to understand and are often single(due to the prior reason)... and reclusive. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/24/2006 5:37:45 AM | I feel for the guys here...the ones who have said "no". The younger ones have a lot of pressure on them from society.
Either they are walking hardons and will bone anything that is warm and wet or they're asexual or gay.
Either they have to remain virgins until they marry due to relgious upbringing or they have to have plenty of "experience" in order to please they're wives when they do get married because she will be the only one for the rest of their lives.
There is fear of std's....lets not forget AIDS is still an epidemic.
At this point in my life...I'm one of the old girls...I would love to meet a man who would want to be friends first. I have a better chance at that now...as the guys I want to think serious about would be...one of the old boys. Most of them have mellowed abit.
Its been my experience that most do initiate (remember the thread on the 3 date rule?). I may have been turned down if I had been given the chance to be the first to initiate. Its usually been mutual...you're not into me and I'm not into you.
Its a mixed up kind of thing. Sexual attraction and reactions to it are a pretty touchy subject.
I know that there are alot of younger men who are waiting. To quote one of my young male friends..."its scarey out there...it could kill you". He is selective and he most definetly is not asexual or gay. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/24/2006 7:51:35 AM | What would be his reaction to a gal politely saying no??
This is one of the things that has always bothered me when a woman says no it's ok but, oh no when a man says no it must mean he is gay or doesn't like sex etc, etc
Whats up!!! Is that what women really think of men that all they have to do is snap their fingers and he will just die for the chance to have sex with her??? | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/24/2006 8:41:58 AM | "There is fear of std's....lets not forget AIDS is still an epidemic."
Excellent point. One of the reasons I say 'no'.
Don't know where she's been and don't want to learn the hard way..
J. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/24/2006 9:08:11 AM | | I would just back off as he wishes and assume it was nothing more than a penis "issue" and go on my merry way. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/24/2006 9:33:13 AM | | A just plain "No", would be very confusing, because as you have already read, most women are not acoustomed to men saying "No". If you just say "No", she is going to think that you are not attracted to her. If you say "No, I'm not ready yet, or I want to get to know you better, or I'd like to take things a little slower" then she should understand and respect your decision, and not be hurt by it. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:00:52 PM | well, when I was a lot younger and in much better shape, [..last century ]
I felt that if should always explain, if I said 'no, thank you' to the offer of any sexual interaction. Just because I liked someone and she was attractive was not always a good reason to 'knock boots'. I found if I just said 'no', girl felt offended and started rumors that I was 'gay' or something.
It sounds like the majority of female posters on this topic would agree! Sometimes it's too soon, sometimes my mind was on other things, sometimes I just didn't need to have a deeper relationship at the moment, and for me, sexual relationships are deeper than casual friendships.
One evening I had just come back from identifying bodies from a really nasty car wreck, [soldiers in my company] and I went out to my favorite bar, which was within walking distance of my apartment. I was trying to drink away the memory, when an attractive, casual friend came up, chatted and then popped 'the question'. I said, 'no'. Just no, nothing else.... she got angry and left, didn't even finish her drink. By the next time I was in that bar, the waitresses all 'knew' that I was 'gay.'
If the genders had been reversed ......
Totally double standards!!! 
I wised up. The next time something like that happened, I said, 'sorry. no, I am bruised and torn from a bad landing', and then took the girl to the restroom and showed her the stitches and bruises on my chest and stomach....
It's important not to be rejecting someone who has put themselves in a vulnerable position, without at least giving them a cushion or reason, it could save a friendship. I really hate that I didn't explain to the first lady, it ruined our friendship, which could have been something so much more, in the right circumstances.
Of course, I don't have to worry about that problem any more! Age takes care of some problems!   | |
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CGNutz
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Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 111 | |
| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:51:23 PM | some guys say no...
wether its because they dont have a condom or they dont want to be slutty we will never know | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/30/2006 2:59:53 AM | HAHA!
Read the first page a little ways down... "a 27-year-old man who is almost a virgin" 
I'm sorry but thats funny.
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:43:01 AM | I have said no before on more than one occasion.
If I thought that there were to many feelings involved, that one of us would surely get hurt (often happens with a large age or beauty disparity in my experience) then I would and have said no.
If I am not attracted then no (easy one there) (no hard feelings) but I try to break it at least a little gently as I am usually at least flattered by the attempt and dislike strongly negative, disgusted, or disdainful reactions myself.
If I am so completely drunk that kind of violent motion (as it sometimes can seem when you are roaring drunk) might make me feel sick or that I wont be nearly at my best I will say no.
I have also been approached by someone who was too young for me at the time. I said no and years later she approached me again when our ages were not as big of a deal.
I have said no when neither of us had any protection with us at the time. Damn that sucks.
But during a relationship that has gone past the first date I have never said no unless we were arguing earlier or had a major issue that needed resolving first.
But maybe I should...
Evolution can be sooo difficult sometimes. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/30/2006 6:19:08 AM |
Just because I liked someone and she was attractive was not always a good reason to 'knock boots'.
Now THAT'S refreshing. Most men here have said they would say no if they weren't interested. I don't find that to be an accomplishment. Of course they'd say no if not interested, but can they control themselves and pace themselves when they are[\b] interested?
To me, that's the real question. Being sexually attracted, single, interested and taking the time to get to know someone beyond that firsthand.
Here's at least one case of that. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/30/2006 6:28:29 AM | | I have said no before, I was left alone in a house with a married woman one evening while the others went to the shops, I had to try to fend her off untill they returned, she was very attractive but i didnt want to risk getting caught | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/30/2006 8:47:26 PM | Ok Ladies, not all men are jerks and some know when to have sex or not. If a woman had too much to drink, I won't have sex with her. I'll get into the deep kissing, but will not go any further. Now if we have had sex before, then I'll have some fun!!!
So the answer to the ladies in here: Yes, some men can say NO!!! | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/30/2006 9:18:36 PM | There are all kinds of reasons for a guy saying no...Respect, for example.
I had a close female friend (and a very attractive one, at that) make a direct offer...but it would have been taking advantage of her when she was really messed up (emotionally). As much as my hormones were screaming at me to go for it, I resisted. Would have totally messed up a good friendship, eventhough I would have liked our relationship to go beyond friendship....but that would have taken that away, as well as elimianted any chance for something 'more'....beyond just a one time romp in the sack. Didn't want to make her feel even worse.
Believe it or not ladies, some guys actually think with the OTHER organ. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/31/2006 7:30:52 PM | | I have said no, and will continue to, if the situation calls for. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 12/31/2006 7:32:56 PM | yeah ...um if a girl is being too easy too me,...ill back the hell off real quick,..i wonder at that time to myself,....Shit, im nobody special...how many other "nobody specials" has she been this easy with....
....down boy! | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:17:39 PM | The thread ...said "if you had been on a few dates and things got spicy"..and he said no.
Kudos to the men who say/said no..(it's just as much your right as ours)..But I do not think one of you said you mentioned saying No in this situation described above..(did I miss something?)
I like alot of the ladies were joking,,,and even the OP posted this as a theoretical situation..
why? Most women have never had it happen to them..at all..let alone after a few dates.
I am not sure what my reaction would be.. If we'd dated a few times, I'd assume he did like me..I'd be curious but I wouldn't run away. In the future I'd let him set the pace. I am not interested in pushing anyone into anything they really don't want to do.
I am wondering if any of the ladies have had man say No after a few dates..
( Jmo if you were dating or a virgin or a Christian that dsn't count..
No offense meant to either group!) | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 1/8/2007 10:56:14 PM | If there was no protection involved, I'd say no. Tempting, but in this day & age, and a disease around that could likely result in death.....And it is not always a matter of her honesty......who knows if her last partner had something they didn't mention..or just didn't know they had..........a couple dates is not long enough to trust a person 100% with your long term health. It isn't like the 'old days' of 'I'll get a shot & it will be all ok anyway'.......
In any relationship I have been in , my significant other & I always got tested to show proof to the other that we were 'clean' before protection was tossed aside.
I think that is a good reason....... | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 1/9/2007 12:38:08 AM | | This guy is a keeper! Good for you! | |
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pensky
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Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 123 | |
| Guys who say no?
Posted: 1/10/2007 5:04:59 PM | I have dated people, even over months, without sex becoming a question. The "hot/heavy" issue never came up--discussions about where our relationship was going came up, though. Men who have come into my life on those terms are people I will always be grateful to have known, because they helped me nurture my independence and confidence, even while all I had to offer them was gratitude and respect.
From my experience, but there again, I don't have a lot of sex over the years, but, for what it's worth, I can't shake the feeling that if a guy says, "no" it's a serious rejection, unless it's some really outrageous circumstance. On the other hand, after only a few dates, it would be a little presumptuous on the part of the guy or the girl to "expect" sex. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 1/10/2007 7:42:52 PM | sometimes the girl moves too quickly, and it's just time for spankings
other times there's a disconnect and a lot of soothing words and excuses are necessary
sometimes two people are on the same vibe, she proffers, he declines, and all is well... this is the most common three date scenario that I've ever encountered... it's when you're learning about someone, and not sure what kind of relationship you want with her.
You might consider being more attracted to a guy who has enough self-respect and self-confidence to not f4ck every opportunity he gets. It's us that are smarter, safer, and more "in tune" with ourselves.
Some guys want an emotional connection. Some guys can get that emotional connection after 15 minutes of meeting a woman. Those same guys might go three weeks with someone else and not be ready because they are still learning how things fit with this woman... weighing ideas of relationship... maybe working things out with other areas of their lives, when sex with someone new (believe it or not) could complicate things... oh well, the important thing is to be graceful when saying no if you are otherwise interested in the person. That goes for males or females.
And just in case you were suspicious of the 15 minute connection... I have seen it turn into serious relationships. All guys aren't pigs or players. Sometimes euphoric sex on the first date is for real. Sometimes. ;)
Finally, with all this assertiveness on how good it is for a man to decline if he's not ready (whatever reason it is)... it is very important to me that women feel confident making advances if they are interested in me. I wanted to post this, in an effort to show how it is not necessary to become embarassed and never ask for sex again. Guys love sex alot. Some guys love to have other things go right in a relationship, too. | |
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| Guys who say no?
Posted: 1/11/2007 12:28:15 AM | | I have to say I know of this strange phenomenum. It has happened to me in a round about way... and more than once. And every time it has been with "that guy". You know, the one who has, or had, a reputation for being "that guy". Except with me apparently. There is no polite way of saying no without wounding an ego and making a girl feel unattractive... UNLESS you are a virgin waiting until marriage... and I don't know if that is anything more than a myth. So NO there is no polite way. Must communicate these things in a moment void of intimacy. And for the record, "that guy" each and every time claimed something about respecting me. I know... I was just as confused. Still am! | |
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