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| How old is too old to be living with mommy and daddy??
Posted: 12/16/2007 2:08:02 PM | Times have changed. These days, it's not ususual for university students to live at home if they have the option, of course, since adding rent to university bills can be a bit overwhelming, I imagine. For older folks (30+) living at home... understandable if the parents need help physically or financially, but otherwise, it's time to cut the cord. I have to say that if I meet a 40-something guy still living with his parents, all sorts of red flags are waving!
In "my day," getting away from home was a very exciting and enlightening experience... most of us couldn't wait! I left home right after high school and never returned... well, except to visit, of course. My first apartment in Halifax was shared with four other girls... a two-bedroom. Interesting times! Those milk crates were not only perfect for LP's, but they also served as chairs, coffee tables, bookshelves... almost as useful as duct tape! :) At one point, one of the girls moved out in a huff, and cut off our power... brrr! We plugged our toaster in the hall to make toast... burned a hole in the carpet... no rocket scientists among us! Dinner consisted of a lot of Kraft dinner... anything cheap... had to save what little money we had to go party... ahh, those were the days. :) It never occurred to any of us to call home for financial help. Our parents had raised us and we were now on our own to sink or swim... and it was fun trying to thread water!
I'm not sure if most of the kids starting out these days would be willing to put up with having so little... imagine... NO cell phones or Ipods! ;) But in my opinion, they're missing out.
Yeah, yeah, I know... I'm old.  | |
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| How old is too old to be living with mommy and daddy??
Posted: 1/8/2008 5:32:34 AM | | Well I'm considering moving back in with my Parents being 28 it is definitely a bit to swallow. I specifically got a roommate to make the bills more manageable so I could save money but after having two roommates that I have had to fight to get the utilities out of and now searching for the a third while I pay for a 2 bedroom apartment myself I am thinking spending a year at my folks house to save up the 10,000 for a down payment wouldn't be so bad. There are many reasons to live your parents Leaching isn't acceptable in my eyes but there are some that are worth while. Luckily some of us have parents that are nice enough to support us when things go wrong. | |
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| How old is too old to be living with mommy and daddy??
Posted: 1/9/2008 1:22:48 AM | Ok .. I want my son to stay with me till he is off and married... so about 40  lol...
seriously though .. as long as he is in school he is more than welcome.. not to say he is not welcome any time , but realistically .. by that time he should be ready to start his own life .. and like a little bird learning to fly .. may need a little push .
I do think too that although he/she is living home , art some point u have to stop treating them as a child and more as a "adult" Some "kids" stay at home and have their mom still doing the laundry , cooking meals , making the bed etc... at say"30" this is kinda silly!
My son makes my home , and as long as I am breathing he will always be welcome here .. but not as a place to shirk responsibilities... a place to come for comfort , love and support . | |
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| How old is too old to be living with mommy and daddy??
Posted: 1/9/2008 2:59:33 AM | I envy young adults who have such a good relationship with their parents to be able to stay. At 20, I was ready to go and went. I tried once to come back, but once you have been able to hold the fridge door open as long as you want just to scan....there is no going back.
Sometimes even now, I open a window when the heat is on for a little fresh air, and I can hear my father......
I even use the dryer to fluff up my clothes instead of using the iron ..hehe | |
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| How old is too old to be living with mommy and daddy??
Posted: 1/9/2008 6:38:18 AM |
I do think too that although he/she is living home , art some point u have to stop treating them as a child and more as a "adult"
this is so true.......personally i gave my eldest son the boot when he was about 18. he wouldn't work, wouldn't go to school and wasn't contributing in any way to our household. so off he went to live on his own for a few years. he left a dissatisfied lazy teenager who had somehow gained the impression that everything and everyone was there for his convienience only...
well while he was gone he grew up, and transformed into a healthy, happy, productive, hard-working young adult. he moved back home in the summer...works. went back to school, pays his way, helps out etc....he has his own 2 room private space; and his own life, but follows the household rules that we discussed prior to his moving back in.
so far its working out great for us both.
I envy young adults who have such a good relationship with their parents to be able to stay
......and this is tough sometimes! moving out of the "parental" role requires looking at your child through different eyes.
i always ask myself "would this behaviour from an adult friend be acceptable?" before i pass judgement on my son's actions and/or choices. | |
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| How old is too old to be living with mommy and daddy??
Posted: 1/9/2008 10:54:08 AM | | if you're living home at 25 years old you're a mooch, if you're living home at 30 years old you're a leech, if you're living home at 35 years old you're f.u.c.k.e.d., and if you're living home at 40 .....get a 10 foot rope and find the nearest 30 foot tree tie one end to the tree the other end to your neck and do a swan dive.........I could be wrong, I dunno | |
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MST3K
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Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 33 | |
| How old is too old to be living with mommy and daddy??
Posted: 1/9/2008 5:56:19 PM | "if you're living home at 25 years old you're a mooch"
Now my first response was would not anyplace you are currently living be your home?
I do not live "at home" but with a room mate/my best friend. But my question is what if your say 25 and living "at home" but paying your fair share of the bills and doing your share of the work, then how can one be called a mouch. I ended up back at my parents places from feb 2006 till aug 2007, I paid my 1/3 of all the bills, did my work around the place, so I can't see how I could be labled a mooch, hell I eve treated my parents to a night out sometimes(as in gave them cash to go do as they pleased).
Oh and what if you bought/rent a house but let your parents live there rent free, then are you still a mooch, leech, f.u.c.k.e.d, or in need of a 10 foot rope and 30 foot tree? Why are people so narrow minded as to be blind to the multitude of reasons for living with your parents or having your parents live with you.
Tim
=)x | |
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| How old is too old to be living with mommy and daddy??
Posted: 1/10/2008 4:30:49 AM | | Maybe going with a rope was a bit strong of a statement, I apologize. Having said that, there comes a time when you have to let them go for their own good, not keep them under your wing. I realize that not every case is the same and some younger people( 23-30) are in need of some help. Going through college and living away was the most fun time of my life, I ate a boat load of Kraft dinner in my time, and when my friends that were living home had Keith's beer and Captain Morgan to refresh themselves on the weekend, I drank cheap wine, just so I could party with them. At that time I had no Tommy Hilfiger 100.00 dollar Jeans, no 400.00 leather coat no fully insured car in my name, but I had my own place to do what I wanted when I wanted. I didn't require 80.00 every weekend to go to the bars, I held some killer apartment parties. My money, the little bit I had, had to go to paying phone bills, power bills, food, bath supplies etc. etc .etc. You know what? Just re-reading what I wrote made me rethink my train of thought. Yes I did do it this way, and so did many other. That doesn't mean that that is the only way to do it. Maybe some people have legitimate reasons to be living home at whatever age and who am I to say what age is the rigth age to not be living at home. From my own experience, I left at 21 and loved every bit of the struggling and trying to manage. I apoloigize for my insensitive earlier post. I am sure that 90% of the 25-30-40 year olds living home are not moochers, leeches, or f#$%^. You know your situation better than anyone. | |
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| How old is too old to be living with mommy and daddy??
Posted: 1/10/2008 6:14:19 PM |
My money, the little bit I had, had to go to paying phone bills, power bills, food, bath supplies etc. etc .etc. You know what? Just re-reading what I wrote made me rethink my train of thought. Yes I did do it this way, and so did many other. That doesn't mean that that is the only way to do it.
You are correct and we shouldn't judge people in a stereotypical way regardless. That being said, the way you did it:
1. Gave your pride and confidence knowing you can survive even with meagre means.
2. You no longer have to fear this lifestyle because you've graduated from it before.
3. This gave you life skills that helped you deal with issues in the areas you would need when you no longer had the support
4. It allowed you to see the world from a different perspective which opened you up to different perspectives
5. Gave you problem solving abilities to help cope with difficult survival situations.
6. It gave you a sense of control over your own life.
7. You learned from every challenge which allows you to take on more complex challenges. The richest lessons you learn in life are the hardest ones.
8. Gave you more choices in the long term
A person who hasn't been on there own for any amount time to actually learn anything from it can tell me they have all these experiences through other means of their life and living at home with their parents doesn't really impact their maturity/growth in these areas but part of the problem is they are too inexperienced to even see it themselves. They can also say their parents are really cool and really don't interfere in their lives but these are not some stranger land lords but your parents. Ofcourse they are going to interfere if you give them the control to do so by living under their roof.
I've dated guys who've lived at home with their parents. I went in giving them the benefit of the doubt only to see that it was actually a problem. If I was co-dependent, the situations might have worked. We had trouble relating to each other on many levels. While an ongoing personality conflict is taking up their focus, that is the kind of thing I blow off because I'm focused on my responsibilities. Being the one responsible is a heavy weight to carry and we don't all talk about it because its just part of life. When your partner is unaware of this stuff they can overload, overwhelm, smother and basically make a pest of themselves.
This ofcourse does not apply to everyone who lives at home with their parents. There is a big difference between getting some family support in a time of need and being dependent on your parents and not in control of your own life.
If you have NEVER left the nest, you might find there are some people who just don't like the idea of having to be your teacher in this area or feel comfortable filling the role of your parents instead of a partner. | |
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