| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:30:37 PM | Don't paint everyone with the same brush.
sigh.....why does everyone always presume one is talking about ALL men. I hate having to point that out each and every time one makes a post.
You make an excellent point spaceman, however......
I've actually spoken with alot of women who have had the problem I am talking about. So I am not being stereotypical, merely basing my comment on what I hear and have experienced to some extent. And I have met women who recognize this issue, are able to discuss it openly and admit their fault, yet still get turned away. I'm not saying all men are like that, but if you read many of the posts on the forums, many men will say "no drama queens" etc., I wonder how many times that drama queen was someone who was scared and had doubts and was just trying to protect her heart so she ran.
And as a codicil, one of those men who is not like that actually is with a woman who had some major trust issues and lashed out and ran away, but then discussed it with him. He in turn, listened and understood and did not write her off as another "drama queen".
As I SAID, I talk about it, but would you not agree that women are alot more emotional than men? It's a fact, we are made that way. Men need to learn that, and women need to learn not to take everything men say (or might appear to do) so drastically all the time, kinda like I just did right? hehe. Point final: men and women are different :) | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 7/9/2007 9:11:27 PM | | I disappear quickly "poof" from amoral guys, promiscuous guys, morally retarded guys, any unbalanced unclean guys who seek illicit sex, sex outside of marriage or committed union. No interest in even talking to a guy like that. Also debt ridden broke guys are undesireable, no interest in meeting train wrecks looking for a place to happen. Going nowhere, time wasters are bad news. Brain pickers are people to ignore also. | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 7/9/2007 9:24:04 PM |
Clingyness and possessiveness.
That is what most women dislike because it shows lack of confidence. Women seek confident men; men that lack confidence are about as sexy as a wet noodle.
Absolutely right! I find that even if the guy (last one I dated) and I see eye to eye on lots of stuff, enjoy a lot of the same things, etc. and he treats me really well, if he's a wuss that is the biggest turn-off for me. I will not feel any sexual chemistry for him even if he feels lots for me. | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 7/9/2007 9:42:11 PM | | People who have attachment issues and are clingy trigger me to run. I always feel they would settle down with anyone, just to have someone. I do not want someone to rely on me for their sole happiness. I need my space and a night out with the girls every now and again. When I start talking to someone and they begin to text me and call me twenty times a day, I bolt. | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 7/9/2007 9:45:25 PM | What TRIGGERS ME TO RUN????
usually someone chasing after me with papers
"You just got served"
We put too much emphasis on the idea of "Trust". Communication and respect are the more important elements in a relationship. Ultimately we need to find ourselves - being able to trust others comes from being content and happy with oneself. A persons insecurities can hinder the trust one needs to build for another. Openly communicate your feelings.... and respect others as well as yourself (their feelings included).
 | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 7/9/2007 9:52:50 PM |
We put too much emphasis on the idea of "Trust". Communication and respect are the more important elements in a relationship.
Those three go hand in hand. Neither is more or less important than the other and they are all two-way streets.
A loss of any of those three will cause me to run. | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 7/27/2007 11:14:00 AM | | AMEN!!!!! Says it all. Was ina relationship with no communication for 10 years. Finally gave up and now starting to live again. But it is hard not to compare from last relationships. The slightest little thing that might remind me of this last one makes me cringe. But I am slowly overcoming it. | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 7/27/2007 1:16:50 PM | | A rough treatment in the distant past caused me to have red flags come up when someone wants to change every aspect of me and causes me to become so unsure of myself that I wish to flee. A slight reminder of changing me makes me cringe....with memory and causes me to cry.... | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 7/27/2007 1:33:18 PM | | .............i run when someone seems too agreeable.........for instance i was talkin to a guy an i asked him what kinda tv shows does he like to watch...he smirked in what i am sure he thought was a sexy way an said, why whatever you like to watch my dear..........and i found myself thinking............WRONG ANSWER! cause you know that feller had a tv remote control tha size of a keyboard and his handprints were all over it so why wouldnt he name his fave shows.....after we left my girlfriend asked me soooo what do ya think of him............i just smiled at her and said, do me a favor......dont introduce me to any more guys like that and we will get along fine. i dont care what hes got or what hes worth or what hes done..........if he aint honest with simple questions, i will never ask him a big one! | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 8/1/2007 2:23:03 PM | | I completely relate to that. If someone has ever had child abuse, molestation occur to them or any serious rapes I think that it can sometimes warp your mind for life. I've had plenty of bad experiences in my life and I have a hard time trusting anyone even someone that I would be with for a long time. It's a scary place when you don't believe in or trust in anyone. I think it's best to try to be understanding. Sometimes you have to go through really bad situations yourself to realize why your partner may be jealous, possessive etc. It's good to have a common bond with someone. It's hard to be understanding if you haven't gone through the same things your partner did. I must admit I still cry hysterically for a lot of the things that have happened to me and there's things that will trigger my hysterics. | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 8/1/2007 2:56:51 PM | | Some things are unforgivable. Betrayal. Alcoholic or drug addiction. Violence or the threat of violence. !Poof! I'm gone. No phone calls, emails, nothing. I disappear. | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:54:53 PM | Both ends of the spectrum will cause me to run:
There are those clingy, lovey-dovey, "I need to see you every second of the day" men with no backbone types that I avoid.
And the verbally abusive, over-confident, possessive, controlling, manipulative psycho types that make me run for the hill as well.
Men are tricky (I admit, women can be too). They seem normal then change suddenly. | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 8/2/2007 9:09:12 PM | | This may not usually be the way its said but for me" I'm not say nothin I'm just sayin" usually proceeds a... my lifeshould be altering judgement. And but why ? If it doesn't click at my age and I search close to, and within, my own age group, than judgement from either side is kinda mute cuz you are pretty much who you are and are not really inclined to any major behavioural life changes, so if it does't click accept that I am what I am and you are what you are, So all in all I'm just sayin the same Judge me maybe but I'm sure I won't accept the punishment for bein me Keep Smilin =:o) | |
|
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 8/30/2007 11:54:21 AM | | In the late eighties, on the north side of Chicago (Belmont Harbour area) I had an aquaintance that had her B/F ' come outt of the closet on her.. She flipped. I didn't talk to her after that, but occasionally saw her out at the clubs with a different guy or guys every time. My friend who knew here said that she took it realy badly and sort of counter emulated his 'new' lifestyle. [at that time AIDs was a real big scare in the comunity and testing was rather problemactic, or thought of that way] | |
|
| |
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/27/2007 8:55:36 PM | well you could become a scientologist and try auditing it, the purpose is to clear out these memories. or you could let the person know, or you could think okay, this is valid and it gave me experience what happened in the past.
i act like i dont have any cuz i learned form my experiences and if you actually acted like what you learned you'd be way ahead of the world so i have to pretend i dont know anything like the rest of the world acts so that we can be on a similar level.
but if you learn from your experience thats a positive thing. that sounds really corny but like things are meant to trigger you as well, or bring up some memory or painful thing so that you can resolve it, we are not meant to be bleeding, and if you think you healed it and something makes u bleed again it might feel like ur going backwards but you just needs to well you need to evolve beyond your wounds which is a whole way of being, not letting your life revolve around wounds i.e. (i'm alone, or i'm hurt, or "this happened to me", or "i do this" or whatever negative thing it is. you need to just do it like everyon else.") wounds hold you back. basically and that is what this email is saying.
to move ahead, you just put ur love into it and well, just keep moving on which is hard sometimes but everyone can do it. sorry ppl arent living their potential even me. its so sad. that things stay like that | |
|
Home
login 
