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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 10:23:15 AM | Bad shoes!
One of the posts said that they would run from a sniff of substance abuse. Does that include recovering addicts? | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 10:30:11 AM | What triggers you to run...
Ummm...Italians!  While I do take a gulp (trying to swallow my fears), when I learn a person is Italian, I realize that my fears are totally irrational. I realize that it is not so much the person is Italian, but more the controlling, old world, man is boss mentality, that makes me run for cover!  | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:01:00 AM |
If someone has had painful situations in his/her past,they might believe that certain people are not to be trusted or allowed in too close.
So they run if that person shows signs of the behavior that they fear... that strategy can backfire though when they experience difficulty trusting or getting close to new people who remind them of those earlier experiences.Even though this new person may be entirely trustworthy the "programming" from the past interferes with their thinking.How do you deal with these feelings? Trust is a slow process for some...
Sounds pretty selfish to me.
What if you got hired in a new job and the position opened because the last person got caught stealing from the company? Would you like to go into work everyday and have someone whisper to you, "I hope you aren't a dirtbag like the last girl we hired" Think about it. How would you like to deal with that every single day. Not once in a while, but EVERY SINGLE DAY.
When someone in life betrays you, the impact of the initial betrayal will eventually go away. That's not what sticks with people. What stays is the idea that you placed your good faith and trust in someone and now you have to question your own ability to judge a person's character. But no one wants to deal with that shit, so they just project their own fears and pain onto the person who hurt them, or worse, on the next person who COULD hurt them. The new person doesn't scare you because he can hurt you, he scares you because if he hurts you, that's an indictment on you and how you will eventually perceive yourself and your own self worth.
No, in life, we shouldn't trust everyone in life, but then again we shouldn't make people jump through hoops forever either.
What you are doing is selfish. You can call it all kinds of other things, you can say you are being 'cautious', but tell yourself the truth. You might be denying a good person from your very short time on this Earth simply because it serves you and you alone. Ironically, you'll find the more you deny good people in your life, the more you turn into the person who hurt you in the first place. And when that happens, they've won. Because you made the mistake of drinking the poison but hoping the other person would die.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you whether what you are doing is right or wrong, I'm just going to ask you if it's something you can live with, and maybe for the rest of your life. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:01:41 AM | | I don't have those feelings anymore. In the past I "would" run. Today I understand and have made peace with the fact that everyone isn't a ghost from the past, and that whatever you fear, you create. If you fear something, you give it the power to manifest -- and often it does. So I don't allow myself to fear the unknown. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:06:32 AM | 1) Religious extremists
2) Women who put too heavy an interest in "things and possessions."
3) Overt flirts
4) Women who cuss better that I can.
5) Any woman with a large collection of handguns. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:19:56 AM |
When my former husband left me for another woman, I wondered if I may have "trust" issues in future relationships. I'm happy to say that I don't. Fortunately, being trusting appears to simply be part of my nature. I figure that people are worthy of trust until they prove otherwise; it's not something that needs to be "earned".
I was the same way...thought I would have trust issues...but I'm pretty much a person will trust until you give me a reason not to.
However, I must say that I'm not as naive as I used to be. I'm more aware of the signs of cheating now. I would more quicker to catch on to the signs of infidelity at this point.
I've learned from past experiences who to associate with and who not to. I don't get into a relationship with trust issues anymore...just weed them out beforehand...before I get to having feelings for them. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:42:30 AM | Mr. Gecko;
As usual what you say makes sense. And yet, in this context, I can't agree.
Yes, it's true. Avoiding the persons with the character traits I listed, does
speak of MY fears. I think some fears are unfounded and can restrict and
negatively influence a persons life. But I also think some fears are
legitimate, and can protect us from unnecessary pain and suffering!
I do strongly suspect however, that once we learn specific lessons,
then we no longer attract a certain type of person into our lives.
So it may well be somewhat of a moot point! | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:45:45 AM | what makes me run?.....when she says " I think we're soul mates".after a week of knowing her  | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:46:52 AM |
Mr. Gecko;
As usual what you say makes sense. And yet, in this context, I can't agree.
I felt the same way. The context of intimacy and bonding is entirely more variable and complex in contrast to other alternative explanations. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:52:47 AM | Ugly. Yeah... ugly makes me run faster than Oprah to ice cream... not physical ugliness, mind you...
But I've become extremely efficient at weeding out the ugly before I meet someone...
I mean, after I explain to them about all my insecurities and whatnot, I know that they'd just HAVE to be beautiful inside if they're still chatting with me! | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:54:19 AM |
lairs and lazy are also those who make me run
Lairs?? What like big dark caverns full of bones? Yeah I knew a woman like that, I bolted!
Seriously though, for me;
Liars
Cheaters -and not just married ones; single ones who cheat with em too.
Inconsideration
More curious? What triggers you to say?
Have fun ;)! | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:54:33 AM | adding more to my original post...
rebounders
recently divorced
guys who drive cheap sportcars
middle aged crazy guys
overweight with pot belly
heavy drinkers
heavy smokers
any recreational drug use
I could keep going... but basically...
anything I dont like.
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 11:55:25 AM | Feminists. Letting one of them into your life is like leaving cavities unattended. First a small spot, and then the whole tooth rots.
Entitlement queens. You can recognize them by their battle cry: "I DESERVE..."
Control freaks. Not the ones who want to control you (they're included above) but those who are so obsessed with avoiding control that they will cut their hair short only because you like long hair.
"Strong women". You know them, those who are so strong that start to wail and moan as soon as you don't do as they say. Their battle cry: "men are afraid of strong women".
Bill collectors. They want to make you pay for whatever bad things other guys did to them. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 12:08:38 PM | For me, I don't believe that I judge people based on what other people have done to me. In fact I think I have the opposite problem...in that I trust people too much. I have had some experiences where I have given them 2nd and 3rd chances even after really bad behaviour because I believed they had extenuating circumstances as to why they lied or drank too much. Sadly I am starting to learn that some people shouldnt be given more than one chance.
The one thing that does get me 'wide eyed in the headlights' is anger. If I sense it in someone then I definitely pull away. I have had a couple of experiences with guys emailing me who go into great detail about how "all the women on this site" are this or that....and THEN say they hope I can prove otherwise. How is it my duty to prove it? Perhaps the negativity they are experiencing is due to their own negativity? | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 12:08:48 PM | to add to my ongoing list:
whiners
blamers
emotional immaturity
irresponsible
STD's
sickly
anyone who is mean to or dislikes animals ( especcially my dog )
dirty, sloppy house
dirty sloppy clothing
no sense of humor
domestically handicapped
controlling
I could go on... but basically...
anything I dont like. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 12:09:55 PM | ^^^^Looks like you are going on....and on...and on^^^
Add me to the list would ya? | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 12:10:21 PM | When a man's credit card was not approved because his Mom forgot to pay the bill
When he "loses" his wallet and has no money to pay for dinner
When he takes all cell phone calls in private
When there is a slight fading on his ring finger where the ring usually is
When he is taking antibiotics for his "tooth-ache"
When his car is repossessed because his Ex left him so far in debt
When his DL is suspended because the Police are "racist pigs"
When he dropped out of HS because the Principle didn't like him
When he lost his 5th job because he was late again (considering the alarm clock didn't go off, due to electricity being out during the night because of storms)
When he doesn't go to church because all people there are Hyprocrites
When he buys his clothes at the local thrift store to help the needy
When he has no money to pay his child support because his Ex took everything and now she still expects him to even support the kids, and his Mom didn't pay the CC bill and his Boss fired him because of Mother Nature
When he asks to borrow money until he can "see better" ! (cause he can't go to the church for help cause they are all Hyprocrites)
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 12:19:59 PM | Women that nag without end
Clinginess
Disrespect of my family ( ie. grinding against me or tryign to make out in front of my younger sister or parents)
Her parents depending on how they act ( we generally grow up to be just like them )
Talking about ex's
Hiding little secrets and then deciding to tell me them 8 months into our relationship ( ie, ex who was an underage stripper....)
Dishonesty
Mass quantity of tattoo's ( I know I'll get hate mail for this one.. but honestly, tats on a chick are not hot. Everyone these days has something on their lower back and many are doing the paws on the breasts thing.. frankly I don't want to explain to my grandkids what those weird things are on grandma's body.. they will grow old with you, plus your body is a beautiful thing, why tat all over it? | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 12:35:25 PM | | well, a skunk made me run last night, it was prancing after me while i was running to the bus stop. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 9/29/2006 1:33:35 PM | Oh yeah... one other thing besides ugly...
Women who think I have a big ego and a small mind. | |
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