| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/10/2006 9:07:23 PM | | This is a tough one. I believe what we have been through in relationships and the ability to spot triggers could be a good thing. I certainly don't want to repeat the past nor do I want it to affect the future. I believe what I am most fearful of is trusting my own judgment. Other things are a controlling person or one who wants to be in charge of everything, red flag for me! OR smothering, I don't need someone to be at my side 24/7... | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/10/2006 9:27:44 PM | well, i have to say someone who doesn't know how to communicate. who's is jealous or keeps bring up there past and not allowing themselves to be loved...old habits are hard to break.. but hey we are all human... maybe what triggered us to run will actually help us find what we all secretly want in life.....or make us grow old and never truly find true happiness.... but i think I'm a sucker for true love..... we all need or want to be happy but if we aren't willing to really think about what we want we'll continue to run when the first thing in our relationship goes wrong so maybe being scared is a factor.. scared to be happy.... to want to find that true love or soul mate... | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/10/2006 9:35:40 PM | Pet Peeve at the moment, "Don't write no Check your Tail can't Cash" as in unfulfilled promises,
Things as insignificant as "I'll call you tomorrow" and the call doesn't come. - Red Flag, I'm history.
Not taking responsibility when they mess up - HUGE Red Flag, which is on Fire!
"Domestically Handicapped" - as in "dirty, sloppy house" - Flashing 12 ft Neon Keep Away sign.
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Some are common faults, some are faults I've exibited myself.
Guess we're all gettin' old and Krochety ;-( | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/10/2006 9:38:28 PM |
well, i have to say someone who doesn't know how to communicate. who's is jealous or keeps bring up there past and not allowing themselves to be loved...old habits are hard to break.. but hey we are all human... maybe what triggered us to run will actually help us find what we all secretly want in life.....or make us grow old and never truly find true happiness.... but i think I'm a sucker for true love..... we all need or want to be happy but if we aren't willing to really think about what we want we'll continue to run when the first thing in our relationship goes wrong so maybe being scared is a factor.. scared to be happy.... to want to find that true love or soul mate...
You said exactly what I was thinking and didn't quite know how to say it, thank you! I think Communication is the number#1 big factor for me. I can't read his mind (well, sometimes I think I can, lol), so freaking tell me or I won't know!! | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/11/2006 6:48:15 AM | The thought doesn't count, it is the action the thought provokes................pay attention, if words and action don't match..........run, hide and take cover | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/11/2006 6:52:24 AM | | I'm one of those people who has difficulty getting close to someone. It has to do with childhood and adult issues. Except I tend to trust anyone, until they do something to ruin it. That's why I'm very upfront about what upsets me and what I will or won't put up with. I try, but when I'm hurt I tend to withdraw and it ends up ruining the relationship. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/12/2006 7:35:05 PM | | from one country girl to another ^^^CntryGrl6...."pay attention if words and action don't match...........run, hid and take cover" , but only after a little payback :tongue: | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/12/2006 8:36:29 PM | Someone who likes me just way too much right off the bat...If it does not work out, it will be reeeeally bad so I don't chance it, I run the other way. Man, they wouldn't even know me yet! 
Gotta take it slooooowwwww.... | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/12/2006 9:36:26 PM |
Someone who likes me just way too much right off the bat...If it does not work out, it will be reeeeally bad so I don't chance it, I run the other way. Man, they wouldn't even know me yet (best kept secret)
I've often pondered why women feel this way, although I understand. It just seems women don't do this often, so i'm wondering if it's a gender (guy) thing.
We're all human. WE have weaknesses. I get speechless when I'm around a girl I'm really attracted to, and it's unnerving to women. (you know what I'm talking about). If you think about it, that "speechlessness" would eventually wain over time, but women get put off by this, so they immediately get turned off. I think if women tried to see this as .....complimentary.... of a high order....and give guys a chance to get over their nervousness.... they might find a guy who's truly worthy of their attention.
Cheerz | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/13/2006 1:58:22 AM | Women who are dating other guys. But still want to date me to test the waters.
Makes me puke. And run while puking. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/13/2006 2:19:50 PM |
Someone who likes me just way too much right off the bat...If it does not work out, it will be reeeeally bad so I don't chance it, I run the other way. Man, they wouldn't even know me yet (best kept secret)
I've often pondered why women feel this way , (manerider)
I'm talking more of a "puppy jumping up and down-excitement, with wide grin and compliments out the waazoo", too much.
Your idea of liking is just fine...:)
BKS
EDIT: bcdream...are you suppose to be exclusive with "this girl" and making possible long term plans or you just want her to date you cause that's the way you want it? Curious...
one post down...OJ blues...You may but I bet the way you do it, she may never want to leave! :):):) | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/13/2006 2:32:47 PM | | Pretentious and also self centered egotistic behaviour. It gives me a gag reflex to be around such people. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/13/2006 3:06:30 PM | Hey, all:
HAH!! BEARS with GUNS!! That makes ME run AND zigzag!!
David
Messages done with sustainable energy, with Wind and Sun! | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/13/2006 3:23:00 PM | women who get upset and throw things doesn't bother me. But women who have verryyyyy good aim and throw things bothers me! 
Love for all,
-onyblye
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/13/2006 4:39:09 PM | | Metallic Blue, yes Im right there. The older I get, I take the time to understand whats going on in another persons life. But I try not to take it on, or be swallowed up in it. Trust comes from me, and how i trust myself to make the best decisions for me. Other people have their lives, I need to be able to take a look objectively and decide whether its too costly in a relationship. The trick is that sometimes we don't see it before its too late. Not trusting others, means we don't trust ourselves to make the right decisions for us. Boy that is a big learning curve. | |
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EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 145 | |
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:44:39 AM | The usual stuff that I suppose everyone will run away.
Substance abuse(alcohol, drugs..)
Violent behaviour,
jealosy..... | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/17/2006 6:21:12 AM | alarm no.1:
rudeness - thats quite board, lack of manners is embrarassing, but would be okay if he learns.
alarm no.2:
cheapskatedness - this one is really bad and i dont think there ll be any point staying, one's nature is hard to change, and i think this is a servere condition resulted from ones's insecurities, resentments, paranoias, or other emtional disorders that i dont have the skill nor courage to fix (polite way of saying i dont brother *wink*).
plus the obvious:
- drink till one becomes an idiot
- physically abusive (violent)
- verbally abusive (this is so low)
- emtionally abusive (similar the the one above, but instead of names calling, its saying/doing things with the intention to make you feel bad, this one is hard to concretely define but definitely not charming at all)
that is it.
the followings are not so deadly but definitely turn-offs:
- constant whining
- excessively phoning
- invasion of/ infridging on my privacy (like reading my dairy, going through my stuff etc.)
- asking stupid questions (like, do you love me?)
- self-pitying
- sissyness (ouch ouch..., pls rent brave heart next time youre at blockbuster)
i actually met a few who met the opposite of all the descriptions, and also handsome on top of all these! but too bad i wasnt good enough, oh well, i hope they find someones who are equally wonderful like they are themselves, and they live happily ever after! | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/17/2006 6:31:08 AM |
That said, I have had a relationship where the woman had 'committment issues' due to her past, and was afraid of getting 'to close'. I recognized this and brought it to her attention. I let her know that although maybe I didn't completely understand, I was willing to take the time she needed. I also made it very clear that the amount of time and frequency with which we would see each other was up to her, so she could maintain a level of control that would help her feel comfortable. All of that seemed to be what she needed to enjoy our relationship, and I was fine with that.
Not to speak for the rest of the guys/ladies out there (because it isn't strictly a single gender problem), I would hope the person you were interested in would care enough about getting to know you that they would be aware of the problem and if they really want to have a relationship, take the time to work with you and overcome the problem.
But, next time I might just go 'caveman'. Bang her over the head, drag her to my cave, and have my way with her. When she wakes up it would be to late to have reservations!
I had to laugh when I read this as your lady friend sounds just like me. Unfortunately, some people do not have the patience or do not think another person is worth the effort to do that. You must have cared for this lady. Of course, what I note is that she was upfront and honest about it, which I am too and I think that is important. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 10/17/2006 9:46:18 AM | What I have encountered in some men is a deep-rooted FEAR of opening up and making himself vulnerable in a relationship. These men have been deeply, bitterly hurt in one or more past relationships, and they are very afraid of repeating the experience. This is very sad, because their fears inadvertently destroy a developing relationship. How can a relationship grow and prosper when one partner (or both, of course) is too afraid to open up emotionally?
It takes a great deal of patience and brutally honest communication to overcome this one. Hopefully it can be accomplished if both parties are ready and willing. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 11/3/2006 9:28:32 PM | | I concur with all of those, and will add one of my own... Constantly asking for more pictures. | |
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