| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/16/2006 9:49:31 PM | >>I wondered if I may have "trust" issues in future relationships. I'm happy to say that I don't. Fortunately, being trusting appears to simply be part of my nature. >However, I must say that I'm not as naive as I used to be.<<
Gardenut, you've mirrored what would have been my reply. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/16/2006 10:54:50 PM | A person runs.. because they are confused.. In the back of their minds they know what they want..they know that they care about you, they see themselves falling in love with you..and it freaks them out.. Especially if their last relationship..they were in love..and they seen everything fall to pieces .. It hurts..and it's hard to deal with..and forget and move on.. For most people.. Aside from that.. When a guy/girl is falling in love and they believed or made themselves believe that they thought they could never feel that emotion with someone else..it scares them..because they feel like they've been fooled.. The fact of the matter is.. guys especially.. run either because you have a child.. and they don't have it in them to have that kind of responsibility, morals, respect .. and what not to show to that child.. They feel like maybe they may not have that kind of unconditional love to give to someone elses child.. Everyone or almost everyone wants children..and usually people want children of their own..Not some other guys.. or some other girls.. Then guys and girls think gee.. this person has children.. that means they will always have to stay in contact with their ex's ..and there can be possibilities..of ex's getting back together because of their children.. But this is reality folks.. You don't get back together for the sake of the children..because thats how children turn out the way they do.. Fighting all the time, back talking, insecurity, confused, think it's okay to fight.. nah.. it's not right.. and it's not always like that.. Lots of relationships end because one or the other usually runs.. because they are uncertain of their true emotions ..confused about the way they are feeling.. and are afraid to think down the line that 10 years from now.. he/she would still be with the same person.. It's not the same as the olden days..
There are tonz of people out there that want to settle down and see you as their world.. there's no need to run.. If your man enough to make yourself sound like such a wonderful person..Then be that person..don't be someone your not and confuse yourself more than you already are..
at least this is what I believe why people run.. :)  | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/16/2006 10:56:57 PM | | Weirdos make me run. There are a lot of bizarre and eccentric people out there | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/20/2006 10:39:49 PM | | Possessiveness, extreme jealousy, unable to talke about things, any kind of violence like punching walls or throwing things...disrespect...abusive language, any sign of these things, and I'm out of there. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/21/2006 12:14:55 AM | | Chameleons. I mean the type of guy that is anything to anyone as long as it will get him laid. I grew up with a guy like that and can smell them from a mile away. The losers/liars/users I do date though, I never can see them coming. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/21/2006 1:13:52 AM | | Wait, just thought of another one. "I'm not like other guys..." Yikes! Every guy I've ever met who said this turned out to be a serious jerk. | |
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sage65
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Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 185 | |
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/22/2006 3:39:56 PM | This john doe guy is a nice guy. But if you look at it this way, if you stomp a guy to the dirt it (triggers) cert behaver, but you are being led like sheep so sad.(hate)il pray for her.fitz I guess theres no greiving time for this man.( pure evil )  | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/22/2006 7:10:44 PM | Feeling vulnerable triggers me to want to run. What I do with that trigger is recognize it, and repeat over and over again in my head until the trigger is disabled....it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all .. and .. Knock it off you woosie!!! 
Thinking the guy I am involved with might actually like me and treat me the way I want to be treated...that is scarey as h*ll and that fear will trigger me to run. What I do with that trigger is recognize it, and repeat over and over again in my head until the trigger is disabled...it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all .. and .. Knock it off you woosie!!!
The absence of either of those two triggers WILL make me run because the absence of them tells me without a doubt, I have found my comfort zone...emotionally unavailable men who are not able to or interested in committing to one woman. I will not attempt to disable that trigger.
My comfort zone is slowly changing and I am ever vigilant because I know that my life will be happier when I can answer a thread like this the way so many have...where the trigger to run will simply be emotionally unavailable men who are not able to or interested in committing to one woman.
Reprogramming is such a pain...oh but such a worthwhile exercise. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/22/2006 7:10:59 PM | Abusiveness. If you hitme, I'll fight back, and RUN like  !!
Alcoholism and drug abuse or history of either
Lying
Cheating
Bigotry
Being ultraconservative
Possessiveness/jealousy | |
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sage65
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Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 190 | |
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/22/2006 8:46:57 PM | | how are you, all I here is you pertending to be with me and macking up stories about you and me and filling peoples heads full shit. I see you are sick person. any ways the man that has nowing to loss wins loveha | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/22/2006 8:51:40 PM | heavier than she admitted to or told me.....it's a lie
or found out she is into drugs or drinking.. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/22/2006 9:22:55 PM | Any sign of passivity, fakeness, addictive behaviour, game playing tendencies, dishonesty... well the list is long really, lol.
And like "itsallinthesoul" up there, I too am getting better at recognizing the "emotionally unavailable man"... and in not finding him irresistably attractive just because I can't have him, lol.
Sometimes running comes second nature, but I know if I found who it is that I am looking for, I would not feel the need to run... | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/22/2006 9:30:12 PM | oh jeese someone on here just reminded me of a perfect one... too many rules. sign of a control freak.
Kenny | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/22/2006 9:32:49 PM | People who are trying to get too serious too fast, I was seeing somebody recently/briefly and that was a deal breaker for me. He kept saying, I want to be sure you will be there for me and it was very soon in the relationship. Once I said, "well I can't promise you forever tonight" and laughed, trying to give him a hint and make light of it. He didn't laugh. I told him where I was at but he wasn't listening, kept talking about what we would be doing next year.
Once he called me from another number which I didn't recognize the number, so I said, who's this, he said, "your one and only" so I said, oh, and I said the wrong name, thought it was my other friend kidding around, and he got all mad, said what, you don't even know my voice. It was all a bit much. Don't want no part of it. He was really gorgeous IMO, cool in most ways, other than the pressure, had everything I was looking for but not so fast, not now. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/22/2006 9:59:26 PM | I had a thought so I think I will post it.
If you know ahead of times that there are deal-breakers that will make you run, it might be to your benefit to make those known very early on, like before the first meeting maybe. Granted, you won't eliminate everything like that and people can deceive easily enough, but at least maybe it is a step in the right direction.
There is nothing non-egregious that I can think of that would make me run for the hills. But I will say that if there is something materially significant that a woman doesn't make me aware of within the first couple of dates, she can't logically expect any man to stay with her once she does tell him. He may or he may not. Deception isn't cool. This is just a risk you take in getting to know someone. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/23/2006 1:24:59 AM | Has anyone else had the experience of people INSISTING on knowing where you live when you have just started dating them??? I've had 3 do that so far.. its very uncomfortable for me!
It instantly put them on my "Ugh" list.
If anyone has any insight as to what might have made them do that, I'd sure appreciate your sharing it.
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sage65
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Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 197 | |
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/23/2006 4:48:43 AM | Hey sillysoul send me pic its possable i could get over your illness but it possable that you could push me over the edge. note keep duck tape handy. | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/23/2006 5:16:00 AM | Mean people number one, followed by an entire list that is the size of a novel. Any sudden movements and I run! | |
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| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/23/2006 5:27:36 AM | She showed me her photo albumn of the men in her "alternate lifestyles" world, and her admission that she was a full 8 yrs older than stated. As I left the restaurant I was told to "then f**k you"...this from someone who wanted me to be a deep and comitted person in her life. So abusive behaviour of any kind.
She is still on POF...you can find her...Central Ontario, but beware. | |
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pensky
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Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 200 | |
| What triggers you to run...
Posted: 12/23/2006 6:19:14 AM | | Once I am committed, I never run. I may sneak off and lick my wounds or I may press the eject button and find myself momentarily in a free fall, but I come crawling back. Every relationship I've had has had different challenges. What strained my faith in my last relationship was his reaction to me on the few occasions when I lost my cool. I lose my cool on that rare occasion when suddenly something offensive happens that is totally uncalled for. Rarely is my barometer of "called for" off. Times when you need your man to stand beside you. Unfortunately, he didn't have a full understanding of the circumstances, but it still left me feeling almost more vulnerable than I would have been on my own. I think it was that he didn't take me seriously. | |
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