| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:24:20 AM | It happened to me too a 50-year old chatting with women under 25. If you live in my city, contact me privately--chances are he's trying to chat with you too. | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:56:53 AM | When it comes to middle-aged guys, it doesn't matter WHERE you meet them, if they are gonna check out other gals they are gonna check out other gals. Not all of them are that way(this is not a generalized male-bashing statement),but a lot of them will at least LOOK...And a lot of women will too!
With the growing mainstream acceptance of internet dating, there is very much a "lets put this in the cart but keep shopping for something better" mentality. Whether that is good or bad, right or wrong, smart or stupid, that is the prevailing attitude!I think you have to clearly communicate and define a relationship, don't just assume it's "exclusive", and IF it's been discussed and agreed upon, that the 2 of you ARE in fact 'exclusive', it might be smart to make sure that 'exclusive' means the same thing to both of you.
There will still be cheaters, but at least they will be wilfull cheaters! rather than just someone who wasn't clear about exclusivity and fidelity.
Cindy O | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/14/2006 12:52:08 PM | Oh we had the exclusive talk alright and he agreed to it--in fact, insisted upon it. I was happy to be exclusive. But apparently, it applied to me only (at least in his mind).
Right now, I'm questioning whether or not I want to be anyone else's shopping cart item. Why subject ourselves to this?
In fact, during my time on this site, I seem to have made more female friends than have had dates with men that I would go out with again. *sigh* | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/14/2006 10:00:08 PM |
Welcome to the world of internet dating, darlin. I've done the pay sites off and on for over 4 years and it never changes...only gets worse. Not one guy have I met who was the real deal. They've all had the same "M.O.". Date someone....but keep looking. Nothing wrong with that as long as you are upfront about it. Most if not all of them weren't. Which is why I've pretty much given up on all types of internet dating..even if it's free.
If i ever found someone on here who would go on a date with me and whom i and she wanted to make something of it. I wouldnt be back to here until the relationship either ended or i was dead. but thats just a gentelman speeking | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/14/2006 10:44:39 PM | | LOL...not funny...the same thing happened to me except that we were engaged, ring and all..and i told him from the beginning that if he ever cheated on me that the woman better be worth it.....Eventually he gave me his information so that i could pay bills on line for him cause he had no credit card, (he gave me cash to deposit in my account in return) and my first clue was that when we would go to town and come back and he would have messages on his answering machine, he would just delete them without even listening to them. I had done alot for him too, remodeled his bathroom, not in a feminine way either, all manly and rearranged his living room, put up new window treatments all while he was out of town with his dad, (supposedly, even though I saw them leave together I now question if that was just a cover). Any way, I logged on one night as him and found he still had his profile up and was chatting away with several women. I emailed all of them with his id and told them that I had been his finace' until that day and then printed out all the emails that he had exchanged with these women since being engaged to me and there was one that he had met for coffee while I was at work the week before I discoverd all this. I put that one on top of the pile and wrote on the top of it...'I HOPE SHE WAS WORTH IT'....took all the emails I had printed to his house while he was at work and out them on his coffee table for some 'light reading'... lmbo.... when he got home that night, laid his key on top of them, grabbed the few things that I had left there and left, keeping the ring of course. Went straight down town and filed a petition for breach of contractual marrige on him and sued his ass.....AND WON!!!! All I had to do was show that he had intent of not being faithful and the emails did that for me, especially the one where he met the woman and emailed her after as to how much he enjoyed it and looked forward to seeing her again. They even set the date for the first meeting up by email....how stupid......lol. All the proof I needed to slam him. God that felt good...that was 3 years ago and if I didn't know better I'd say you met him...Are you in North Carolina?.....lol. You will find the right one and so will I some day so hang in there but take it alot slower....I know I am. God Bless EEyore | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/15/2006 6:23:07 AM | | It's so sad that some people can not commit to a relationship and be honest and give 100 %. We are, after all, only human. Im sure that there are a lot of people, both men and women that only want one person to share their lives with and WILL give it there all. The old saying about one bad apple, well, that applies to people as well. Have to keep (searching) and one day, we will all find that which seems to elude us for now... RON | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/15/2006 6:50:19 AM | Ok here goes,
im 20, and when an "old" man messages me, it creeps me right out!
who wants to chat to man thats as old or almost as old at their father?
not this girl! It sounds to me like ur intimidated by these younger girls..
sure, id be kinda pissed if I found out that my man was msging other girls and stuff
but when I think about it, I have met a few male friends off of this site.
We hang out, chat, and flirt sometimes but its all harmless. If hes really commited to
you, then, if this really bothers you he'll stop doing it. and I read ur other message about
porn.. honestly who cares? lol. tell me you havent downloaded some or even watched
the late nite cable porn? lol. seriously. dont torment ur man because of it.
They all do. Most girls do it, its something you have to be comfortable with,
realize that most of these girls look like complete shit without makeup, airbrushing,
fake boobs...etc sure they have small bodies but honestly...ever seen Pam Anderson without make up on? ughhhhhh, looks like something out of a scary movie.
Sounds like you need to learn to be comfortable in ur skin, use what God blessed
u with... Or, you could always make a decision..do you really want to be with someone
who gives you all these insecurities.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/celeb.html | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/15/2006 7:11:12 AM | | I can totally empathise with you jazz. Similar thing happened to me, not only was he still doing the 'internet' thing with goodness knows who, he also lied to me from day one of the sham of a relationship we had. I put my heart and soul into that guy and when confronted on his little online fishing..he retreated into his shell and I never heard from him again. It could have been a waste of a year of my life, but the law of Karma being what it is, I know that his heart will one day feel as shattered as mine did. I have been messaged by some great guys on this site and I do know when I meet someone again, and its the 'real deal', my PC may as well be thrown in the bin! Why look for a burger when you have steak at home? | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/15/2006 7:39:52 AM | | I sure hope you're not sleeping w/ him. If he doesnt think it's serious, then he shouldnt be doing things couples do....Ask him how serious your "relationship" is w/ him | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/15/2006 8:31:10 AM | This is for the guys out there that agree this is not right. Thank you.
I can only tell you that if your in a relationship...exclusive....then playing on-line is not acceptable. If you are not interested enough to be exclusive, then be honest enough to your partner to do otherwise.
I know from experience you can't take his word for it "that it's nothing". I finally dumped my cheater...because I found out the nothing was seeing these women and finally sleeping with them.......
And one more note.....a man who is going to cheat is going to do it if you meet him on-line or in person.
The internet can be a easy way to get to know someone before you actually meet them, but the key to this as well as meeting someone in person, is the TRUTH! Trying to figure that out is the real challenge.
Good luck all.
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/15/2006 8:32:28 AM | BRAVO FOR YOU, RON! I, too, give 100% and am corny enough to still believe in treating others as I would like to be treated.
Yes, many of us catch our partner cheating--online and physically. Get rid of them immediately! Waste no more time and energy in that relationship! Keep the faith and move on! Eve | |
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lorie1
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Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 64 | |
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/15/2006 9:01:36 AM | Somehow,the longer I am on this site, the more I suspect that I learn about myself- and how my own mind will make assumptions from statements made to me by so many guys online.Only to find out,that their words of expressions of interest are not really about me,but about them.
I dont want to be negative here,but I find I am not thinking about online dating as a way to really get to know someone.Too many people dont know what they are about, and expect to find out from others.If you ask me, we are all just trying to fight low selfesteem, which is really only a batch of beleifs that are usually erroneous anyways.
I do believe in treating others fairly,but to be honest,Its not on everyone elses agenda.We are here on a me first type of thinking,and its because we want something,expect to get it,and when we dont get it,we feel bad,and beat ourselves up for it.Such a waste of energy,yet I have done it myself....
Take care,and please be cautious! | |
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Strake
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Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 65 | |
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/15/2006 9:21:28 AM | There are far too many jerks like that in the world and unfortunately for the women, the majority of them seem to be men. I had a similar sort of thing happen to me long ago (wasn't online though). She sure seemed like the one at the time, had even thought about proposing to her. Am I ever glad I didn't make that mistake. It makes me really mad to hear crap like that because it makes all guys look bad.  I have gotten rid of a couple old friends because they were like that. If they are willing to treat the person they supposedly love that way, chances are eventually they will find a way to screw over their buddies also. Don't lose heart, there are still some decent nice guys around. Sometimes you just have to pick through the pigs to find them. | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/15/2006 9:59:30 AM | | Well Well Well, We act as if our hearts have never been broken or mistreated, First of all jazz before you had anything to do with him or anyone for that matter, you need to do a background check, very easy in this day and age. I`m 49 and newly divorced or atleast to me it`s new. No matter who you fall in love with or just really like, never ever let your guard down. A leopard spots will never change, and a background check will let you know if his spots are true, as for Eeyores, what you did for him was a good thing, paying bills, doing his b-room, and all. ( BUT ) login on into his computer under his name is against the LAW it`s called computer hacking and it can get you 25 years in the pokey. Does`nt matter what he did wrong to you, (it was not good, but he did not break the law) what you did was, and is, and telling the world could get you in a heap of trouble. Choose what you say lightly, for saying how you hacked into someone`s computer under his ID, can be misconstruded as a terroristic threat. | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/17/2006 4:10:20 PM | Amen Strake ------ Your so right. If they lie to the ones they supposedly love, they will lie to their buddies and to anyone else they open their mouths to. What a shame that other good men and women suffer at the hands of those type of people.......
But sooner or later "what comes around goes around"....... | |
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*Illsa
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Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 68 | |
| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/18/2006 6:42:21 AM | Well, good mornin' everybody here! Got my coffee and thought I'd start reading some more of the forums on this subject...educate myself...learned the hard way too. Totally trusted this guy I met on POF after months of his 'convincing" me of his honesty and earnest desire to 'have only' me in his life....Ooooooh Boy!!! (Note to myself: remember the word 'convincing begins with "con") Oh the lies! Really good ones! Almost hilarious if it didn't still hurt...
Only me? I guess he meant me AND his wife of 24 years and 4 kids...Yep! It's been really fun trying to fix my heart. Took a while to even find it...(it was smashed and laying in the gutter over on St.Michael's Street) Had to retrieve it and clean it up a bit and stuff it back in where a hole had been left. It's still pretty bruised and banged up...but I'm a sturdy little gal...it will heal...and now I am WISER. Geez, wasn't THAT just so FUN. And hardly cost a penny too!
Hey BTW...to that Cowboy down in Denver...thank you so much for the lesson! After everything I have been through in my life, I guess you thought I needed it! What can I say? Girls beware of a certain bronc ridin' arrogant cowboy in Colorado who has a hard time 'keeping it' in his jeans. And if'n he ever reads this...I say "RIDE THIS BABE!"
Luci4 (YES Lucifer the arche angel IS my brother so don't mess with me no more)
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/18/2006 12:49:33 PM | womansavers.com
just as good as dontdatehimgirl.com
but you can also give a glowing recommendation instead of just trashing a liar/cheater/player - I like that! | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/19/2006 3:14:01 AM | OMG when will all you women learn!! men on the internet do not change their ways the minute they hook up with you!! This is how theyve met you and they are addicted to the whole internet thing .. its good for their ego!! If you hook up with someone from the net assume they will cheat and keep on doing exactly the things they did before you come along
Sad fact of life im afraid | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/23/2006 8:40:18 PM | | whats wrong with these men is that they actually are not on here for the real deal! sorry what i should say is that 10% are actually real, the other 90 just want to get a piece and then use some lame excuse that sorry just werent what i was looking for , or i have issues, or im not ready yet! Then why the hell do they waste our time(those of us that are really looking for someone) people who dont go to bars and kinda use this for a social outing to meet people. These guys just are looking for something thats so not out there, instead of looking for someone that is perfect maybe they should be looking for someone that is themselves, but on the other hand... its good to find out before you get used again, ask alot of questions, and maybe even try them on a few things.. see how they react, then you get a sense of what they are all about.. some are just plain liars some well they just need some training... eventually someone on here will actually be what they say they are.. then date them and maybe ..well maybe they wont be good enough for us,, good luck!!! | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 10/23/2006 8:43:31 PM | | your wrong not everyone lies and cheats, you just have to know how to spot them!!! and have boundaries so thye know what thye are up against if they are real, they stay if not they bolt like hell... | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 11/2/2006 9:39:39 AM | Very Very Very bad experiences, all about with UK ladies..
there are privacy reasons...but I really would like to post their NAMES on here!!! cos they are still around on POF...and they can Be very dangerous subjects!!!
what to say....it's a GAME!! | |
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| got my heartbroken by online cheater
Posted: 11/6/2006 8:49:00 AM | I guess if your looking for love in all of the wrong places, you will run into guys just like that.You need to look at the whole picture before you attempt a solutions to you need.
Not to Jump negatively at all the men on this POF!
I personally have closet things but I am not a user or abuser... Life sucks at times!!!
I can't spell at the best of times but I am a honest and an exact person, If you ask the questions I answer them true and clear.
I am not speeking for all guys on here, there are some that just want the sex or the sex chat to close there desires... I think it helps woman to come to an confussed conclussion.
Men are not to be trusted.
I feel woman should be charished, and treated like princesses.
They derserve the best that man can humanly offer.
Tricking and B S ing will not provail...
Open your eyes and really look for the sparkle, If you see it then you know that you have a winner!!!!!
All the best!  | |
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