| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 10/30/2006 5:06:41 PM | In my 20s, I was apt to settle down, I bought into the "happy ever after" notion. While I'm certainly not wrecked, in my late 30s, I am quite less inclined to settle down. As far as playing games with women, I can't say that I'm that type either, I don't really "date" per se, if "date" is what you want to call it. I'm pretty well having a good time in lone ranger mode. Who knows, maybe my mode will shift gears in my 40s.
Maybe if I explain the "reasoning" to my lack of wanting to meet and pair off with a woman, for myself, I discovered that such relationships pretty much went in directions that I just didn't want to go in. Sure, I enjoy affection and attention and sex is always lots of fun, I also really like my space. While I have my kids, (some grown) living with me, the eldest of which is 18, the youngest being 4, I do have quite a bit of lattitude to do much of what I want, when I want, how I want. There's no answering to anyone, no explaining myself to anyone, and the ultimate of not having to have to argue with anyone, which is a HUGE plus. Face it, participants in a reltionship are GOING to clash at some point, and that is a drag. I sure don't feel lonely, I am surrounded by people, at the same time, as long as I have space to retreat into a peaceful room of my choosing, all is well. Relationships ARE work in all aspects of the word. At present, it's not a thing I desire. I do know some GREAT women, I even have a female friend HERE who I had been involved with a couple of times, she's pretty a pretty good lady too, The problem was definately NOT her, it's just my aloof desires. Does this make sense? There's also a woman that lives next door to me that is pretty cool to hang out with, the nice thing about hanging out with her is, I can GO HOME, it's just next door, and, I'm in my own space again. It's purely a cool neighbor (without benefits, before someone gets the wrong idea) who's fun to talk to, fun to look at (She's pretty good looking) and my daughter plays with her daughters. Hell, she's even delived WINE to my door! Talk about a cool neighbor lady! With all these pluses, why would I want a girlfriend or a wife? I get family life AND get to be an adventurer! I get to live my way without having to compromise it in the slightest. As far as the more intimate aspects, yeah, that is hit and miss, but it ain't so bad either. I think it will be difficult for me to want to settle down with a woman unless she's much like myself and into the things I am into with the same sense of humor who can keep up in conversation. I get bored easily, so, it would definately take a woman that is a deep thinker, fairly sentimental and outdoorsy. Also, she'd have to be into SCUBA, I really enjoy that, having a "mate" that I could talk to about THAT with her experiences of the activity -v- just telling someone about it as I see it.
OP, there's much to asnwer in your question that simply isn't cut and dry for a single paragraph answer. You're really asking about the dynamics of people and that cannot be easily explained away.
I hope my wordy answer gives you at least some insight, but you must also understand that this comes from ONE man and in no way should be representative of men in California as a whole. Men, we're like fingerprints. No two are the same. | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 10/30/2006 9:16:47 PM | | Men back east.. have the manners- more openly. Calif men.. seem to be hard on the feelings. I would guess; women's lib..may have gone to far. Women are successful. Women date as many men as they like.. we call the shots and many of us give as good as we get. I am one of them. Love me and respect me= My love and trust, to stand by you all the way. Trip and disrespect= a daily prayer you never have happiness till you see that you can not treat people disrespectfully. I don't know why some men feel they have to "Own" you .. Or if she has a house, she is stuck up. I work hard to have what I Have. I don't understand why being on my own and doing an oil change etc. should be a threat. I am waiting for a man that can be a man with confidence in his abilities. Not all men are myths. Unfortunately not all men are facts. Eventually we all find our puzzle fit. I love my black men-and that is a fact. Ladies just keep exploring. | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 10/30/2006 10:35:54 PM | definatly a myth. The thing that always gets me is that expecially in southern cali we have tourists and people who move here from other parts of the country to make it in hollywood lol. I think because of that california attracks a certain type of person from all over the country but you cant really label them all the same anyway. People with the same goals can go about things very differently.
-Gina | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 10/30/2006 11:32:19 PM | | i am from california,and have had the chance to date guys from florida,north carolina...california men are flakey into them self,and shallow.they like to play games,and get mad at a drop of a hat.i do not date guys from california,i like to be treated like a lady//its to bad... | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 10/31/2006 1:00:12 AM | well here it is where the delemma laids. Both sexes have what it takes to make the other half happy. yes some r kind shallow inside but people must find themselves in order to make the other happy. a cliche if u r happy everyone around u is happy. so lets stopped looking for mistakes or errors that the opposite sex makes and learn more about urself so u can understand the person u r with. No offese to anyone this is just my opinion gather from my personal experiences
Lots of LUV from Phoebe | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 10/31/2006 1:39:07 PM | | California men are definitely more flaky. I have been to a lot of states and countries. The California man is harder. At first I thought well in California they get or are given half the belongings of the other party, but then other states have the same laws, so it is not that. The California men are fatter, seem to lose hair faster, think that they are all gorgeous, be they fat, thin, gawky looking or whatever. They cannot understand why a female does not faint when they come on to them. | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 10/31/2006 3:12:06 PM | Here are some facts (and opinons) regarding me, a California man
I am not superficial. I don't spend hours in the morning making sure my makeup is just right. I do not spend thousands of dollars to have my face/boobs/whatever altered.
I do not spend my time keeping up with the Jones's, making sure I have the latest HumVee or Lexus, 62" flat screen tv, or whatever.
BUT!
I do like women who are good looking, meaning NOT fat. I do like women who take care of themselves. I like women who know how to treat a man like a man! Cold beer in the fridge, slippers at the ready, dinner at 6, etc.
Chivalry is DEAD! It was never alive to begin with! It is a myth! Any man who utilises it either has no balls, or is only trying to get into your pants. Women who get treated like princess's always end up being spoiled brats. (Number 2 cause of divorce, money being first). Television is a LIE! Men are NOT Stupid. Oprah is NOT a goddess to other women. Dr. Phil has NO balls. His wife does him with a strap on.
Money is NOT everything. Any woman who thinks so is a gold digger, and not someone I want to date anyway. A REAL woman is one who is just as sexy in a pair of overalls as well as a nightgown. There is a reason why your grandparents marraiges lasted forever.
No government interfereance!
Men receive no benefit to getting married. The marraige license is the formation of a corporation in which the state maintains control (its stamped with the great seal of the State by the state Secretary, the same secretary who approves corporations). Even in divorce the corporation remains solvent. It is never disolved (men hardly ever get any relief), and the state can award profits from one shareholder to the other (meaning vaginamoney, otherwise known as spousal support). Especially if the corporation bears fruit (children) then the state has the right to supercede the parents (shareholders of the corporation) if the state feels the parents are not doing a good job (CPS Steps in). Men are usually mislead into believing that marraige leads to more sex. That is false. Statistics show that marraige leads to less sex, if any. Which can and does lead to infidelity. There is a maxim that states. "Divorce is a good thing. Thats why it costs so much."
A little advice to women. You want a good man, treat him like one.
If you are good, he will stay with you. Don't nag him, don't badger him.
Treat your friends as your friends. Treat your man as your spouse.
A fact of life... Most of you tv raised adults, will not heed this advice.
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 10/31/2006 3:12:31 PM | Here are some facts (and opinons) regarding me, a California man
I am not superficial. I don't spend hours in the morning making sure my makeup is just right. I do not spend thousands of dollars to have my face/boobs/whatever altered.
I do not spend my time keeping up with the Jones's, making sure I have the latest HumVee or Lexus, 62" flat screen tv, or whatever.
BUT!
I do like women who are good looking, meaning NOT fat. I do like women who take care of themselves. I like women who know how to treat a man like a man! Cold beer in the fridge, slippers at the ready, dinner at 6, etc.
Chivalry is DEAD! It was never alive to begin with! It is a myth! Any man who utilises it either has no balls, or is only trying to get into your pants. Women who get treated like princess's always end up being spoiled brats. (Number 2 cause of divorce, money being first). Television is a LIE! Men are NOT Stupid. Oprah is NOT a goddess to other women. Dr. Phil has NO balls. His wife does him with a strap on.
Money is NOT everything. Any woman who thinks so is a gold digger, and not someone I want to date anyway. A REAL woman is one who is just as sexy in a pair of overalls as well as a nightgown. There is a reason why your grandparents marraiges lasted forever.
No government interfereance!
Men receive no benefit to getting married. The marraige license is the formation of a corporation in which the state maintains control (its stamped with the great seal of the State by the state Secretary, the same secretary who approves corporations). Even in divorce the corporation remains solvent. It is never disolved (men hardly ever get any relief), and the state can award profits from one shareholder to the other (meaning vaginamoney, otherwise known as spousal support). Especially if the corporation bears fruit (children) then the state has the right to supercede the parents (shareholders of the corporation) if the state feels the parents are not doing a good job (CPS Steps in). Men are usually mislead into believing that marraige leads to more sex. That is false. Statistics show that marraige leads to less sex, if any. Which can and does lead to infidelity. There is a maxim that states. "Divorce is a good thing. Thats why it costs so much."
A little advice to women. You want a good man, treat him like one.
If you are good, he will stay with you. Don't nag him, don't badger him.
Treat your friends as your friends. Treat your man as your spouse.
A fact of life... Most of you tv raised adults, will not heed this advice.
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:34:06 PM | | I don't believe the men here are flakier than anywhere else, I do believe they can be a lot more shallow than elsewhere. | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/2/2006 11:48:13 AM | I am from Austin, Texas... but living in Southern California a long time.
Its something thats perpetuated by Hollywood, nothing more.
That is not to say that California does not have its own culture... which it does... but everyone is an individual... | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/3/2006 1:10:40 PM | | Men AND women are flaky here in California! My advice? find a woman in another state. Even Vegas is better then here! People in POF are fake and they flake out. just that simple. I hate to say it but I love my this state but the people need some humility. | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/10/2006 11:54:24 AM | I was recently out with a girl from the midwest and she said that CA men are less traditional, less family oriented, and less desirous of settling down. We were obviously looking for different things and so that one date was our last date. Nice girl though.
But overall I'd have to agree with the stereotype about CA men. It's the culture here. I go to a law school where at least half the people are from out of state, and I've found that most of the out-of-staters are either married or looking to get married. There's a big disconnect between the out-of-state women and the in-state men at the school, because the guys are looking to have fun and the girls are looking for an MRS degree ;)
I think it all boils down to a couple of things:
1) CA people, men and women, are far more socially liberal. Casual sex, short relationships, staying single, not having children, etc., are the norm here but considered deviant elsewhere.
2) LOTS more people here -- those who come from small towns are shocked. They're used to finding one good person and settling down, whereas here in the city there's a constant stream of new potential partners.
To give you an illustration, I was fortunate enough to get a scholarship to my school, and at one of the scholarship welcome dinners a midwestern girl introduced herself to me and stuck by my side the whole night. We went out for drinks and she told me that she wasn't planning on going to the school but she thought she'd come out to CA for some fun. We went back to her hotel room and made out for awhile but when I tried to take her clothes off she said she wasn't "one of those LA girls" and that where she was from she could mess around but couldn't go all the way because she had to stay pure for her future husband to be.  Weird chick, but I guess that's the norm in Wisconsin or wherever. Overall a strange night but it was fun. | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/12/2006 4:16:29 AM | I don't live in Cali, but it's been my dream since I was a lil' child. I'm still seeking that goal, looking for scholarships for the last year... hopefully I'll make it!
Knowing people from there might help me a lot, I guess  | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:35:34 PM | i wasn't born in California but i have lived here since the age of 1--thats a lot of years.
i do find that when a man has committed to me--and i to him--it seems that this committment on his part has a"fear factor" that interferes with any long lasting relationship.
i know that there are men who would LOVE to committ to the right woman--thats what they say--but then i see them picking women that they know in their hearts that ONE certain thing will forever keep them from a lasting committment such as marriage.
and the ones that DO marry--lack what ever it seems to take to keep that committment in their hearts and minds foremost.
but i see just as many women that do the same thing.
IS IT JUST CALIFORNIA AIR? DIRTY, AS IAM TOLD THAT IT IS?
perhaps it is the RADON GAS coming up from the ground into the houses here.?
maybe it is the underlying fear of EARTHQUAKES--that can come at any time of day or night without warning?
maybe it was the fact that we grew up with THE BOMB hanging over our sweet little heads as children? or radiation in the air coming over from Nevada?
maybe the ocean water is TOO POLLUTED? maybe the underground well water has too much arsnic in it?
maybe its just too much POT--ah! yeah! thats it! thats got to be it!
see it really is CALIFORNIA!
Karen | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:53:15 PM | i have never laughed so hard and so long in my life...
i do think this man understands himself very well--that is a plus!
any woman who lives with this kind of man--secretly HATES HERSELF AND WILL PROBABLY END UP SLICING HER THROAT--or his.
this was very funny--thanks for the laugh..
oh by the way--anyone wonder why the divorce rate is soooooooooooo high in california???
read this! here is your answer!
k | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:56:01 PM | thats because his woman brings him his slippers and HIS BEERS
it has a tendency to enlarge the tum-tum.
i bet he is a lot of fun in bed too.. | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/13/2006 6:02:52 PM | this guy ALLAN of VENTURA--he is a laugh and a half--
my other replies didnt show that i was repling to his
words of shining wisdom---but i was.
what i want to know is--IS HE FOR REAL???? | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/13/2006 6:13:20 PM | ceramics boy, i guess its a good thing i live here in California--
id have it tough with the race thing--Iam Indian/Black/Mexican/irish
california has its good points....k | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/13/2006 9:52:33 PM | California has ALLOT of Floaters Period.
 Some say that California is The Land of Fruits & Nut's and yes, If you were not that way when you came, You will be long befor you leave.
 I have been in California all my life,
So I have been watching people come and go for decades, Everybody want's all The GOLD and all The Girls.
 REALITY, if a guy finds one good gal,he will stop looking for the GOLD...
 But most people spend their entire life chasing after perfection and never realizing that A Perfect Relationship is Created by Two people who are willing to try and not by chasing the wind.
Are California Guy's FLAKES? Yes, But those are the ones chasing after the wind. | |
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| California men: Fact or myth?
Posted: 11/17/2006 3:51:57 PM | California is a big state. Bigger than most states and countries.
I think its better if you focus on specific parts of California. I've noticed diferences among women depending upon the area of the county. | |
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