| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 6/14/2007 2:10:45 PM | Rapunzel- Like I said you were polite and thoughtful for your response to that person, however you cant control others for being jerks, dont let them bring you to that level. I have had the same happen to me, this woman waited a month to be a jerk to me. Never once have I been a jerk back , I just shake my head and say, ":Wow it sux to be you". If you keep getting nasty responses, just hit the block button. I will tell ya -I hit the block button by accident to someone really cool and she was pretty upset. LOL | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 6/16/2007 8:09:14 PM | Yeah right....you keep saying that "Swordfish".
The fact is that (I am finding out now) many people out there have many neurotic, phychological problems that prevent them from having a "real" relationship.
I recently went out with someone just like you ;) that told me he couldn't "make-out" with anyone until about 6 months into dating! WTF??? Also told me that he was not used to anyone complimenting him , doing anything for him, cooking for him, or touching him!!!
Maybe those people like that oughtta take a little time-out from dating and re-evaluate how they want to proceed/handle things with a dating situation...and if they CAN'T then simply "bow-out", and take your profile off of dating sites, or at least change your interests to "friends only" until they can emotionally handle it.
Sad, though, cuz there are plenty of fun-loving, normal girls out there dying for something great with somone!!!! | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 7/23/2007 6:56:31 PM | Be gracious & reply with a yes or no with a thank you. It works for me when it comes from them to me, I respect them more thereafter for it.
The thing I find most annoying from a reply is when you ask a certain question about them and in a reply back from them it is never addressed. Could A.A.D.D. be a culprit? | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 8/19/2007 12:28:23 PM | | I had a man earlier today email me regarding a post. I'm working and so couldn't reply for awhile. When I had chance to come back on, I saw that he'd sent me a rude email for not replying. It's a shame because he was actually quite cute! Some men need to work on having patience! | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:22:59 AM | | I think it is very important to respond to all those who initiate an email. It is just common courtesy and if someone is upset by your response, then they've done you a favor and verified the fact that they were not right for you as you suggested in your response. Personally, I would much rather receive a polite response that the other person was not interested than not receive a response at all. At least I then know to move on and not wait for them to respond. What I find ridiculous however, is when someone responds that they don't feel "chemistry" from my profile and/or photos. Chemistry is something you can only determine in person, face to face, how you mesh together with that person. You can certainly be attracted to someone's photo or to what they wrote, but until you meet, there's no such thing as chemistry. Furthermore, too often Chemistry gets confused with lust. | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 10/31/2007 7:17:02 PM | Being rude is unacceptable no matter what. Period.
Treat a lady, like a lady no matter the reply. If they are not interested then why would you want to be there?
If someone says no thanks, then be an adult and accept it and move along. There are plenty more that will be interested.
Sure it might sting a little but keep in mind that not everyone is going to be found interesting to everyone else or attractive.
So it's not really personal when they pass.
IT IS PERSONAL when you are rude in return. It's also childish.
Men that act like gentlemen in rough times are more respected than those that are gentlemanly when its easy to be so.
A guys 2 cents.
I still open doors for people and 50% of the time they just walk right on by without a word. So I open doors because it makes me feel good to be kind, not because I expect to be thanked for being a kind person. Although a thank you is twice as sweet.
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 11/1/2007 3:09:22 PM | | It's kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. I had one guy write to me the other day and send me this lame picture of his chest hair, and I wrote back and said I was not interested in chatting, and I got a nasty email back from him spewing all sorts of hateful garbage, letting me know how hot every other woman found him. Just remember that people are insecure with themselves, and the ones with no social graces are the ones that are nasty. And everyone is right, at least they are saving you the time by letting you know up front what kind of person they are. | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 11/1/2007 4:27:49 PM | | I have always replied back to all who have written to me. Mainly it is a courtesy. If someone has taken the time to write, there should be an acknoweldgement of their efforts. I used to get upset when I never heard a reply but just knocked it up to "move on." The worse is when someone views you, then you see "unread deleted." That to me is the ultimate form of disrespect. Most times I may write that I liked their profile or hello or something innocuous. On the flip side, the men (and women) that flip out at someone over not replying, have some serious issues they need to work on. | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 11/1/2007 8:13:50 PM | | For me it depends. If I get an email from a woman who blatantly doesnt fit my profile ideals I think they didn't read my profile, they might be vindictively motivated by very much not fitting my profile ideals, that's happened more then I think in retrospect, they might lack intelligence or are just plain careless. At times it's possible I've gotten emails from women who are simply trying to communicate driven by positive motives knowing they are not a match. I try to respond to messages when ever it seems like the right thing to do, each one is judged on an individual bases. | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 11/1/2007 9:09:59 PM | | MarryingKind by the looks of your profile its hard for anyone to email you, she has to be very much flawless to fit your matches. As to the way POF emails are set up. And then again there are all these people who keep viewing others profiles but never send emails does the person themselves lack intelligence. | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 12/8/2007 11:52:37 AM | | I reply to everyone who sends me a message. I think it is not only the polite thing to do, it is the "right" thing to do. I think being courteous is losing "flavor" in America and I reget that it is happening. I don't cut anyone down, I actually thank them for their interest and let them know I am not interested in meeting anyone at the moment. I takes alot of negative feelings away...and it's just a "little" white lie for which I think God will forgive me. | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:10:59 AM | | I share the same sentiments of Carrie. Responding to all emails is the right thing to do, that is if you are a whole person and respectful of others. Those that do not respond to me (and I send very short respectful emails) are ppl that I do not wish to know in the first place. They are doing me a favor sparing me any future aggrevation and or dissappointment don't you think? | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 1/18/2008 10:03:53 AM | Personally I think the no response shows a lot to the persons character. I have gotten a few, and I mean very few "No thanks". Each time I responded with "Thank you, I wish you well in your search. "
Unfortunately, I do understand that not everyone out there understands that each of us have our own unique tastes, requirements, expectations... etc. I know that just because someone's profile has peeked my interest, doesn't mean I will do the same for them. I have a whole lot more respect for those that take the time to send a response than those that don't. This is especially true for those that make comments in their profile about tired of games, wanting something real, that they are genuine.. etc.
Guess it comes down to there are a whole lot more "children" out here than adults...... JMHO | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 2/10/2008 1:35:36 PM | If you are going to put yourself out there on a site like this then you must be prepared for rejection. I agree that a thank you should be suffient. What is it with people these days? You know most of us are here for the same thing. Trying to meet some compatible people to enjoy spending time with. What does it have to get so complicated?
Jeff | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 4/13/2008 4:12:46 PM | I used to be a die hard 'read delete' girl. I would look at the profile, make the decision, then click.
UNTIL...
I told my friend what I was doing and she bawled me out. Big time. She said it's like when you're walking down the street on at the grocery store and someone says hi, you say hi back. Now I'm a 'thanks but no thanks' girl. I haven't 'blocked user' anyone..yet. | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:31:42 AM | I think its rude not to respond to any msg,
even if its just a polite 'hi there ,and thanks for your message. 'May be it was the way i was dragged up ,lol
my mother always taught me to be polite to people. as for the peeps who 'unread delete ' msgs now that just plain ignorant if you ask me .
chow4now
xxx | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:24:45 PM | It seems rude to me for someone to just delete the email. Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned. It seems to me that it's like having someone walk up to you and say, "hey, how're you doin'?" and you just keep staring straight ahead.
I especially like it when I've been emailing back and forth with someone and one day they just stop replying. Hello? Did you die? Did I do something to offend you? Are you just an a$$? Most likely the latter.
It may be difficult to write the response and painful to the recipient, but at least you both know where you stand. | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:33:45 AM | | I think women have it tougher than us men do. Many who have done a nice job posting a flattering picture and profile get results. A smart man would understand this and know he is one of many. Why take it personally? If a man chooses it take it so, that is his issue. Understand this is a free dating website. It is a meatmarket. It's what you do with it. Meet with people and get to know each other carefully. Like anywhere else. It's easy for people to be rude and/ or not understand the different social nuances of a site. I am still wondering if I am doing anything right at all myself lol! | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 5/18/2008 8:18:13 AM | I always respond back, no matter what. To me, that is common courtesy. I always sa: "thanks, but I just feel that we are not compatibly matched. However, I do want to wish you the very best on your search."
Sincerely,
T. | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:04:36 AM | | I would like it if a guy I e-mail to respond back and say they aren't interested in. I have had a few respond back to me - most say that I'm not what they are looking for or don't want to date a woman with a child. I think they are limiting themselves but I understand. The thing that irks me are the guys that just simply delete your message without even reading it. I try to respond to all e-mails but there are a few times when I get busy and simply forget. I just want to know where are all the good guys at? | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:23:08 PM | gotta love "UNREAD, DELETED" and "READ, DELETED"... really getting the most out of their dating experience, aren't they?
it takes 10 seconds to at least offer something tactful and kind... heck, cut and paste a quick macro email if its that overwhelming for you... "hi, thanks for writing... right now, i'm just keeping my options open.... this is all just a little overwhelming"... Cntrl+C, Cntrl+V... boom, ... done...
i never quite understood that about people -- men or women -- who don't play the dating game with any congeniality whatsoever.... it's as if a dating site is their own personal grocery store...
a poster above put it best... it's like walking down the street and having a decent guy offer you a simple smile and hello, and not even having the common decency to acknowledge him.... it's just rude...
when it comes to putting our pride on the line, nice guys shouldn't have to pay for obnoxious guys, nor should they be left feeling every potential woman they conjure up the courage to message thinks she's God's gift... | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 8/1/2008 8:23:14 PM | Note: this Sun NYtimes.com has a story on "trolls" and talks about
what some people find amusing in causing grief for other people
aka getting your goat.
I am not responding to this message, just a general post to check
the Sunday Magazine 3 Aug. Oh and not a NYT shill;
thought it was topical.
Foob | |
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| Responding to emails from people you're not interested in
Posted: 8/8/2008 5:14:39 AM | I think it's hard to respond to every email specially if you are getting like 100 a day and if you do reply when you are not interested then that leaves the door open and the person now thinks there is a chance you are interested in them and then in the long run its harder to explain that you are not.. Then come the mean hurtful emails cause you reject them and then they say anything mean to you to make themselves feel better for being rejected..
And saying hello to someone in the street is way differnt then acknowledging someone in an email.. In the street the person is usually just being friendly in an email on a dating site it is someone that is obviously wanting more then to say a friendly hello....
I think people have the right and more options to be selective online and they should just handle it how they want.. There is no right or wrong way to online date.. You just hope for the best and go with the flow.. | |
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