| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 1/4/2009 4:47:46 PM | | I am so sorry for your loss ...I cant imagine how painful that must be to have gotten back together and then have him died like that. Good luck to you! | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 5/28/2009 10:22:04 PM | | It has only been 19 months....... but guess what, it has flown by so fast. With everything that I do to keep myself busy and/or occupied that it didn't bother me about being single. I've needed this time to heal and be ready to move on - I see it as progress in just joining this site. At first it was just to get the friends off my back - now I'm enjoying reading through what others are doing in this age/stage of our lives. | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 5/29/2009 3:03:31 AM | | I can certainly empathise with you, I too have a girl child from a very shortlived second marriage. Did the whole sweep me off my feet thing. He and i are still friendly as a marriage present to him and his wife i divorced him.ha. We had been separated for about 8 yrs but just never got around to the paperwork. I've had a relationship since ,that has now been over for 4yrs and i was devestated when that finished. unlike my second marriage where it was so amicable and we both decided it was just not right for us. This last guy Cheated on me and after alot of begging i took him back only to have it happen again. "Once your fault, twice my fault" I think that was knocked the wind out of my sails..my own fault, I should never have trusted again. Now i think i would love to be loved agein because honestly i really don't know when the last time a man did love me. All this new online dating etc is a big leap of faith but "gotta be in it to win it". I'm even going speed dating tomorrow night.. Hell i'm getting brave...good luck to you..Gees lets be honest ....GOOD LUCK TO US ALL.. cause life is a lottery. All i know is i'd like to have some one to sit on the porch with when i'm beyond dyeing the greys. | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 5/29/2009 7:21:20 AM | To answer your question after my divorce I really did not even think of dating again.. So my answer is no am not surprised I am still single. I am just at the point of putting my toe in the water now.
I also do not worry about if I will ever find someone.. I figure what will be will be?
thecatsmeoww | |
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Nyda
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Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 180 | |
| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 5/29/2009 10:25:41 AM | I have been divorced for over 20 years. I have dated, flirted and had some very good friends, but none of these men where men that I would want to have been a father to my children. I honestly thought I would find a great husband and father for me and my kids. I came from a blended family and it was not a good thing so I was a bit more selective than my mother/father.
Now that the kids are adults, I can get on with my life and hopeful find someone to love, laugh and share the days to come.
Do I regret being single this long? No way. I learned about myself, developed a lot of self confidence and found that I can be happy with me. A gorgeous man is just icing on a very happy cake. | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 5/29/2009 10:36:50 AM | | I find for myself that I've become more selective than I was earlier in life. That might be because as we get older our opinions change about what's attractive. I, thank god, have aged very well. Others have not faired so well. I'm still looking for the cute guy who has a decent job and loves to have fun. I'm not interested in the party boy,but not interested in a couch potato either. It's finding that right mix, and enough time to see if there is anything there. I've also found that many people are just looking for a "hook up". I'm looking for just one guy to spend my time with.......know anyone ?? | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/20/2009 2:55:11 PM | | Personally speaking; I think after a divorce, you need to take a couple yrs to heal, make sure your head is screwed on right. I know I had alot of bitter feeling towards the court system and my ex-wife for awhile. I guess you could say I lucked out being sent to a job in the middle of the Wyoming dessert. I learned to live with and by myself, and enjoy my freedom. I know that someday I will most likely end up with someone steady, living with or married again, but I'm not in a big hurry to get there. If and when that happens , I will be 1000 % sure that she is the right girl for me. I would attribute my being single for the last 9 yrs to..... the 1st ( 2 yrs) , huge mistrust towards women in general, the last 7 would be, maybe I'm a little picky, sometimes gunshy if they portray certain qualities, there are alot of men and women out there with massive amounts of baggage to take care of. Sometimes I think I enjoy my freedom way to much, do I want to be accountable to anyone ever again ? Iv'e met a couple in women that I thought the world of, but when it comes down to the bare facts, I backed away, very uncertain. One of my biggest fears while backing away was , do I want to take the chance of getting married again, end up divorced , living in my truck with the courts systematically sending me to bankruptsy again , Not a very good thought. So for now I havn't met anyone that really makes my day the minute I even think about her , when I do , she will have to have portrayed some fantastic, trusting, moral qualities | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:06:26 AM | I could care less. I'd like to be with someone who enjoys me as much as I do her, but I'd rather be single and alone than be miserable WITH someone-!
Divorce is a sort of death, and, after a divorce, you stink of death, which wards off any potential mate. Find something that brings sweetness and laughter into your life. When you're having fun, you'll attract a like-minded fun mate. | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:22:42 AM | Expected *when*? When I was little, I expected to get married about at 19 and stay married forever, lol! Of the three girls, one sister did exactly that; the other has never married. And I've done about ten years on, ten years off. During and after my last divorce, got a pretty silver and gold flat artist's band ring and wore it on my ring finger: called it my DDIA ring (Don't do it again). Somewhere along the line, I got over that. Been in two LTRs (over two years) and one almost two years (currently) since that time.
Don't know I ever thought much about it, at all. If there was someone lovely in my life, during my single decades, I just enjoyed him. As an adult, I've never wanted to BE paired, or NOT be. . . . Main desire? Stay open to the possible, and love my life in the moment I'm living it.
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:39:25 AM | I decided not to date at all for the past 3 years and just recently decided to try again.. So no am not surprised at all that I am still single.. I do not worry that I will never find that special someone simply because what is meant to be will be..
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:05:33 PM | | The only time that expectations come into play for me is that I expect when I meet someone that they treat me with the respect that I will treat them. Expectations as to how long I will be single just don't enter into the picture, it will happen when it's meant to. | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:26:12 PM | I have been divorced since 1974, and I have had many long relationships since then.
Some of whom I wanted to marry, but was still hesitant. Thank God as many years later I can see them for who they really are, and I realize I was looking at them through rose colored glasses. There is a man that I love and have loved for many years and it is the type of love that I have always wanted to feel. The kind of love that you even love their flaws as they help to make that person who they are. However, if we should just remain friends and it does not progress to that step, I realize that it just was'nt meant to go in that direction. But, there is alot to be said too about spending time with yourself. I have great peace of mind, I can do as I please, dress as I please, be a slob, sleep when I want etc. So there is a richness to this single life too. I know many women who are married who have said that they would love to be in my position, and that I am a very lucky woman. So we all no matter what the situation seem to want whatever others have. Instead we may just need to find some great friends, great hobbies, and enjoy our life as it is. | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:05:53 PM | | After being divorced since 1986, I am skepitical I will ever remarry. I no longer consider myself a "good catch" as I now care for an elderly parent. If a guy has a real interest in me, he will really have to really pursue. | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:55:53 PM | kpooks, you got it!! The man I was engaged to for 4 years (and that was 3 1/2 years ago) told me not to contact him after he left because he was moving in with another woman because he couldn't stand to be alone. I told him I would rather be alone than with someone who I don't love or who doesn't love me. He's already divoriced...again!!
I don't want to be with someone I can live with but rather someone I can't live without.
It's been a lot longer that I thought it would be. But I'm not giving up. I have alot to offer someone. | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/22/2009 8:35:05 AM | I got divorced about 5 years ago.
I was hoping to start a new social life and maybe meet someone to date....or a whole bunch of folks to hang out with.
And then I made the big mistake of moving further out into the woods.
Not a single man within MILES!
I don't want to find someone....I just want to MOVE!!!! | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/27/2009 12:43:00 PM | yes... my whole entire life.
if you had told me when i graduated high school 30 years ago this month that i would never marry or have a family, i would've laughed at you. | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/27/2009 12:57:00 PM | I think you need time to sort out "who you really are " and where you want to be in life before you can be happy in another relationship. If you are not happy and love yourself how can you expect someone else to? Get your baggage together and be done with it. The past is just that. And you will know when you are ready to move on and have a great time .Things always work out for a reason. I know I am a much happier person and looking forward to what the future will bring. I can't believe how time flies though as I have been on my own for 3 1/2 years now. And yes I am ready to start over. | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:45:55 PM | | Song Sparrow, I definitely agree - time flies... It's been ten years since I split with the ex. Never would have guess that ten years would pass with no new LTR. I hope things work out for you! | |
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| Single for longer than you expected?
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:00:26 PM |
if you had told me when i graduated high school 30 years ago this month that i would never marry or have a family, i would've laughed at you.
This statement pretty much sums up my sentiments exactly. I never dreamt that I would never marry but that is the way life has unfolded for me. I don't regret and I don't question but rather take solace that if it was meant to be then it would have been. But then again, I'm not dead yet so there could be a marriage or LTR in the cards that are still to be dealt. One never really knows, do they? | |
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