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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 i like big boobs
Joined: 9/22/2006
Msg: 26
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kidsPage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
ill ask again

i know you dont like tom leykis but do you think it was fair that i pay for a child who i didnt bring into the world/?
 SimbadSailor
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 27
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 4:29:59 PM

wow. this is sad. no one has yet to say anything about whats right for the child. thats a shame.

If the child is not his, there is no "right for the child" there.
 i like big boobs
Joined: 9/22/2006
Msg: 28
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 4:36:48 PM
your right sinbad
thank god the father has a job now and he is now responsible for the child

i still see the child everyother week and buy her cloths and stuf she needs for school and what not . to help them out but i dont think i should be forced to do these things i only do them to make sure she has needs met
i do believe no child should have to suffer but .i think that that should be up to the guy or girl who made the child
 luvbugsam2
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 29
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 5:39:44 PM
WTF I am so happy I am in canada
 luvbugsam2
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 30
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 5:40:00 PM
WTF I am so happy I am in canada

sorry guys got button happy
 East_Coast
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 31
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 6:25:14 PM
luvbugs,
Sorry dude the only province (I believe) that common law child support doesn't apply is Alta. And CaliCowgirl;
There doesn't need to be any binding agreement in Canada, the Family statutes are written that if it can be proven that you have acted as parent to the child.....for whatever period....1 year, 5, 10, then you can be liable to maintain the lifestyle of that child. Even if the bio-dad makes payments. This topic has been brought up before by some, such as myself, the law has been debated on its merits and detriments, and as before I see both sides.
Like Leykis 101 there states......although I "choose" to support this child (i.e. school supplies, clothes, etc.) I do not feel the gov't should legislate it but I do see that if you have represented yourself as that child's parent that you should be "somewhat" legally responsible for that child...but with that should come legislated parental visitation rights. One aspect of this I wish to add to the mix is, if a non-bio-parent may become financially responsible for the child......why not too is there legislation for the grandparents? If they contribute to the child's well being......and let's say they cut it off b/c they got pissed at primary parent, should not you be able to claim support payments from them under the same premise as the non-bio-parent?
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 32
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History
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 9:38:26 PM

If there is a child support order for the biological father to pay, then he is the one souly responsible for paying. YOU would have had to come into a BINDING agreement in order to being forced to pay for a child that is not biologically yours.


We have this law here and that is NOT the case.
A woman can be getting child support and move in a higher income male, later kick him out while having him declared the new "father figure" and in essence "trade-up" her support payments. Sad but true although likely happens in a small percentage of cases. But having this possibility hanging over a potential relationship could answer a few other threads, some people will not be able to help being more cautious with single mom's, atleast until they feel secure that THIS woman isn't going to do that to them. Even then ...... well my ex has pulled some nasty stunts that I would never have creditted her with being in her nature to do, spite and bitterness can bring out the worst in otherwise decent people and can be an issue at break-up.

As for the just being out to get laid..... I really can't say that is wrong. Right after separation I still craved sex, physical closeness and didn't see a reason to deny myself these things. But it's all in how you go about it. I was very upfront about what I was interested in. I was not "over" all of my issues then and would not have had a healthy romantic relationship, so while fulfilling my desire I kept the womans opinion I mind, I wouldn't blow them off if there was no sex, but they knew what I wanted and I knew what they wanted (different things obviously) so there was no confusion. Wesimply knew the other was in a different place than we were. A little thing like having that respect for them instead of slamming women in general lead to a few even setting me up with friends of theirs that were in the same place I was.

Take it easy, or anyway you can get it :-P, and play safe.
 River Girl
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 33
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 10:58:05 PM
according to you a real man/ "stand up men" would of continued to give up 25% of his paycheck to pay for a child that wasnt his? all because the childs kid was a dead beat

No. I did not say that. I stated (quite a few times in this thread), that, you must have unknowingly signed some document that states you are responsible for court ordered child support. And, in THAT CASE, yes, you should pay, as it is now your legal obligation.

Also, I asked you if the biological father is responsible to pay, and you did not answer me. You just said he is responsible NOW. So, if he is responsible to pay, then this would cancel you out of paying right? Because 2 men cant be held legally responsible to pay child support on one child. I suggest you read the responses and questions you are getting.

I did not call you an idiot, I was pointing out that Leykis (the radio personality) claims the men who are not informed enough to read the dotted line clearly, are the idiots.

I ALSO said that Tom Leykis (radio personality), preaches to not date single mothers.

You SERIOUSLY need to go back and read carefully next time.
 River Girl
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 34
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 11:00:07 PM

i know you dont like tom leykis but do you think it was fair that i pay ?


Will you please READ and answer my first inital question to you??????

If you signed and went into a legal contract for your responsibility, THEN YES.

This has nothing to do with whether or not I like the guy. I think alot of what he says is for shock value. But I do believe he is truely using the radio to publically bash women.
 River Girl
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 35
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 11:05:39 PM
Of course we all crave sex. I did and still do, after my divorce. However, Im smart about it. Im not going to say Im going out and am going to just have sex with a bunch of guys and thats all I want. If that is how you percieve and take your cravings out, then I think you need to reflect back on your judgment and self esteem issues.

When I got horny, I bought a vibe. It was safe, easy, and I hurt no one.
 scarletlady
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 36
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 11:21:09 PM
Actually, River girl, 2 men can be responsible to pay for 1 child. There was a case in Alberta last year where a guy left his girl after 5 years together when he found out their 3 year old daughter was not his. Because he had acted as the girls father for those three years he was ordered to pay child support to his ex-girl. The biological father was also ordered to pay.
As a single mother (by my own choice) I will state that I think if the guy is duped into believing a kid is his and has been supporting that child, the woman should be charged with fraud. However, I do agree that if he knowingly takes on the role of daddy to a child that is not his, that responsibility should not end just because the relationship with the mother ends.
It is my own personal choice that if I enter into a commitment with a man, I will not expect or want him to become my son's father. I am lucky though, and I know it, because my son still has a dad, even though we are no longer together. I am aware how lucky my son, myself and his dad are to be able to say that.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 37
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History
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/2/2006 11:41:18 PM

I stated (quite a few times in this thread), that, you must have unknowingly signed some document that states you are responsible for court ordered child support. And, in THAT CASE, yes, you should pay, as it is now your legal obligation.


Attn: River, sorry but your assumption of "signing something" is completely inaccurate and untrue as I've stated, also several times.

Further, please don't foist your assumptions off so easily with
Of course we all crave sex. I did and still do, after my divorce. However, Im smart about it. Im not going to say Im going out and am going to just have sex with a bunch of guys and thats all I want. If that is how you percieve and take your cravings out, then I think you need to reflect back on your judgment and self esteem issues.

First off for "smart about it", what works for you and your beliefs is not right for everyone, this has nothing to do with intellect. I did not anywhere state I was bedding every willing female, you can be honest and open yet still selective. My choice at that time had more to do with knowing myself, my wants and reconciling them in a way so as to not hurt myself or someone else. Essentaill seeking FWB for that period of my life. That may not be the choice you would make, but that gives no reason to question my judgement or self-esteem. STD test beforehand, hmmm can you say that was always the case with every single partner you have had, yet I am not questionning your judgement. As for self esteem, bull, I was happy enough with myself and my life, I was just able to understand that I needed time to heal before I would be "relationship material" yet still could have some aspects of those without anyone being hurt.
 River Girl
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 38
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 5:17:01 AM
Loony, I dont know if you have a guilty conscience or something, but not everything is directed towards you. I probably should have directed my posts and titled it--to: tom leykis.

The sex crave thing was directed to leykis statement about going out and getting laid.

And...I am basing my beliefs about child support being owed by one parent, a fact here in CA. Different states AND countries operate differently. My assumption is true BASED on California law, AS I KNOW IT. HE stated he resided (or used to live in CA).

Please try to have thicker skin when replying and reading posts. Also, please try to understand that not EVERY reply is directed to you.
 luvbugsam2
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 39
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 7:55:34 AM
I am sorry I didn't read up on this first and was so fast to judge :( my bad

luvbug
 i like big boobs
Joined: 9/22/2006
Msg: 40
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 8:06:52 AM
i never sighned any type of support documents or anything stating i would be responsible for the child
 FiestyBlonde
Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 41
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 8:14:36 AM
I just have two things to add here:

tom, In your first post, all those Emoticons are really annoying.

Second, I dont see why any woman would be greedy enough to want support from a man who isnt her childs biological father.
Money, money money.


 xo nicky ox
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 42
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 8:39:54 AM
I think you know whats going on here.
 SimbadSailor
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 43
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 9:38:39 AM
I dont see why any woman would be greedy enough to want support from a man who isnt her childs biological father.


You don't see them, we do. There are plenty of greedy women out there. Besides, you can also see there are people who justifies and applauds stealing money from a man with the "it's the best for the child" motto.

Money, money money.

Yes, money that is ours, that we worked for. Why should a man's money be less important than a woman's money? I find this "it's just money" attitude very annoying, specially coming from people who is really generous with other people's money.

Things like this only strengthen my decision of never dating a single mother.
 FiestyBlonde
Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 44
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 9:43:10 AM
^^^ I see you misunderstood my post.
 xo nicky ox
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 45
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 10:02:11 AM
^^ I understood your post :P
 SimbadSailor
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 46
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 10:17:18 AM

^^^ I see you misunderstood my post.

Let's see. You don't see greedy women, when the OP case is showing exactly that. Besides your willing blindness, what was your message?
 FiestyBlonde
Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 47
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 10:26:15 AM
What I meant in my post, wasnt that i dont physically SEE the women....

It was that i dont understand their reasoning behind it.

Like I said..you misunderstood my post, and turned it around to benefit you.
Thats okay.


Maybe I shouldnt of said "see". Then you might of understood better. Out of sight, out of mind reasoning.

I'll state my point again. No woman should be greedy enough to want another man to pay for her children, when they have a biological father who is responsible for them.




edit; lets review my post again.

"Second, I dont see why any woman would be greedy enough to want support from a man who isnt her childs biological father.

I said I dont see WHY any woman would do that. Not that I dont SEE any women doing that. Again. You misunderstood.

 SimbadSailor
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 48
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 10:45:45 AM
Ok, let's say I misunderstood you. Now I understand you.

And, since you don't see "why", let me enlighten you a bit:

Money. That's why.

And "no woman should" is not the same as "No woman is".

You know, single mothers should be the most vocal protesters of laws such these (besides those guys affected by them), because they make single mothers even more undesirable.

After reading about cases like this one, how many guys you think will swear off single mothers forever? Or will run at the second she says she has children? Or if they date single moms at all, will avoid doing anything (like bringing Christmas gifts, going to PTA meetings, or buying the child clothes, etc.) that may be construed as "support" or "father figure" because of the fear of being nailed with CS?
 FiestyBlonde
Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 49
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 10:49:37 AM
After reading about cases like this one, how many guys you think will swear off single mothers forever? Or will run at the second she says she has children? Or if they date single moms at all, will avoid doing anything (like bringing Christmas gifts, going to PTA meetings, or buying the child clothes, etc.) that may be construed as "support" or "father figure" because of the fear of being nailed with CS?


When most people enter a relationship, they dont think that it will ever end. its supposed to be a forever thing, that is why we seek out partners, unless it is just a casual, no commitment thing.

But when two people get married, its generally forever.

If you go into a relationship, thinking about what will happen ' after its over' then why enter the relationship in the first place, if its not just for short term gratification?


AND if the guy is so "worried about it" - then why not take it upon himself, to write out a contract, sayinging somthing along the lines of ....

"if we happen to end our relationship in the future, I dont be responsible for paying you child support for the children, as they already have a biological father who you can collect support from."

Etc.

Bring it to a lawyer, or to the court house, and get it nautarized.

Then the guy would have a legal document.

That's not too hard to do.

 i like big boobs
Joined: 9/22/2006
Msg: 50
this is not right paying child support to g/f not my kids
Posted: 10/3/2006 10:55:11 AM
how many wemon would be pissed off if i did that to i would never get a date if i made every lady i dated sighn some sort of contract
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