RitzNB
| | Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 49 | |
| | What to reveal about your past and what's off limitsPage 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) |
Talking about past relationships or partners are a big no-no. It's nobody's business anyway. But if you're seeing someone kinda serious and you have unresolved baggage from your past I think it's only fair to share that with them. That way they have a choice. To stick around and help you through it, or to move on to pastures greener.
@ FragileSoul
I also agree it's a definite no no. I'm not sure about sharing unresolve past issues though. I think those things should be resolved before getting involved with someone. Why make it an issue in a new relationship. Sure they can stick around or leave but why put them in a place where they have to make that choice. | |
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| What to reveal about your past and what's off limits
Posted: 8/5/2005 1:46:09 AM | I always say too much, but I like to be honest...I don't say stuff unless asked usually, but, women are sometimes surprised at my candor....
What happened to us in the past, shapes who we are today in my humble op...and that my friends is never a bad thing to share, with someone you care for.
Understanding what makes us tick is part of all relationships....If i can tell you a story about a situation, or an old relationship, and make you relate to, how I think about things...that is never a bad ting for me....or vice versa...we want to know you...and this can hel pshow your views on things, without actually asking for them.
Just a thought...
Herv. | |
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| What to reveal about your past and what's off limits
Posted: 8/5/2005 2:43:04 AM | i think if you dont want to hear out a person and everything they have to say, thier mind, what they think, feel and dont want repeated.. then you are here to play head games like most... are you really so insecure as to be jealous and turned off by someone not even around.... if i talk about an ex it is to make sure the past dont repeat it's self.. if i talk about details, it's cause im real.. and want real... dating is so full of games... i say what i think and feel and if i am deleted then i see it as bullets i have dodged, or people not for me....
but anyone who goes on and on about one ex, then you're sure to be catching a rebound... get turned off! they just need a friend anyway...
selfishness is so thick in the world
when you are real nothing is off limits... you save a whole lot of time being yourself! | |
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| What to reveal about your past and what's off limits
Posted: 8/5/2005 3:17:46 AM | So, in my case, I would definitely want to know a lot about her sexual background (not the details, but just how casual and numerous were her relations with other men). If the prior activity with men was too intense and numerous, I would like to end the relationship before it got started. There's no sense in two people wasting their times with each other if one has a strong reaction to promiscuity.
This is the kind of deranged thinking is usually limited to Females. I have been with more women than I have fingers and toes. However, every one was "One at a Time". I do not reject or regret Experience. It does not negate Loyality. Both of my marriages ended on Disloyality on THEIR part. Neither was 'promiscious', one a virgin. I would rather the Woman knows what to do and has had the Wild Oats out of her system and I would NEVER ask about it.  | |
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RitzNB
| | Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 53 | |
| What to reveal about your past and what's off limits
Posted: 8/5/2005 3:38:05 AM |
This is the kind of deranged thinking is usually limited to Females. I have been with more women than I have fingers and toes. However, every one was "One at a Time". I do not reject or regret Experience. It does not negate Loyality. Both of my marriages ended on Disloyality on THEIR part. Neither was 'promiscious', one a virgin. I would rather the Woman knows what to do and has had the Wild Oats out of her system and I would NEVER ask about it.
@ doctorkinseyphd
This so called deranged thinking is by no means limited to Females. Are you kidding me !!! Both sexes have be known to be promicuous or unfaithful. It's not a gender issue. If people want to cheat they will find a way to do so. | |
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| What to reveal about your past and what's off limits
Posted: 8/5/2005 11:14:07 AM | Yes this thread is so true.The past is the past,time too build for a future if people just meet.Knowing about your bad past will just add too problem in the relationship.Like who want's too know how big the lady's last man size of tool was,or how kinky i was or how wet she was when we had sex.All this isn't healthy for a relationship.If i wanted too know i would ask.But there is one thing you left out people must tell there mate what get them off in clould 9.
I wouldn't what too go downsouth and you didn't like stuff like that.  | |
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| What to reveal about your past and what's off limits
Posted: 8/5/2005 12:38:37 PM | X boyfriends, lovers, husbands, wives, girlfriends, how many partners they had? Really does anyone need these pictures inside their head? Is it so important that you drown them in your past? I think not. I fail to understand how not hearing about your former loves can be twisted around to mean one is selfish. Don't get me wrong. I can listen to it and tolerate it but trust me it detracts from the possibility of abtaining the love you look for. There are a million other topics one could enter into. On the other hand the circumstances leading to a break up and how they handled it is always interesting and can give insite into the person and how he/she treats their partners. Listening intently to some of it is beneficial but watch out for that fine line.....
The past is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift, that is why they call it a present. | |
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RitzNB
| | Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 57 | |
| What to reveal about your past and what's off limits
Posted: 8/6/2005 7:30:19 AM |
i think if you dont want to hear out a person and everything they have to say, thier mind, what they think, feel and dont want repeated.. then you are here to play head games like most... are you really so insecure as to be jealous and turned off by someone not even around.... if i talk about an ex it is to make sure the past dont repeat it's self.. if i talk about details, it's cause im real.. and want real... dating is so full of games... i say what i think and feel and if i am deleted then i see it as bullets i have dodged, or people not for me....
but anyone who goes on and on about one ex, then you're sure to be catching a rebound... get turned off! they just need a friend anyway...
selfishness is so thick in the world
when you are real nothing is off limits... you save a whole lot of time being yourself!
@ erinlovely
I understand the point you're trying to make. Basically you're saying that for a person to get to know you they need to know every aspect of your life including past intimate relationships. You mention by revealing such details it will prevent you from repeating the same mistakes. I have to disagree with part of what you say. Talking about this stuff isn't a deterrent or a way to not repeat those mistakes. I don't understand the reasoning behind that statement. You can still get to know someone without going into details about their past relationships. Look at who they are today. How they treat you. Get to know their values and morals. Find out their beliefs, life goals, ..... There's so much you can discuss with a new partner to help you get to know them inside and out. I still say it's not necessary to talk about past lovers. I never spoke of past lovers in my relationships and these men got to know me very well. It never played a factor in how well they knew me. Lastly, just because I choose not to talk about my past doesn't mean I'm not being real or totally myself. I'm as real and honest as they get. | |
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| What to reveal about your past and what's off limits?
Posted: 8/6/2005 9:14:22 AM | | Whatever I say about my past and present is so filled with lies mixed in, that nobody will ever know me. They don't need to. I am all things, truth and fiction. NO, who in their right mind ever expresses the complete truth about themselves? It's nobody's business except mine. So the print means nothing, the words mean nothing. It's all a big game, and by now, POFers should know that. | |
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