| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/6/2006 10:41:41 AM | Dorfully_geekalicious said:
WHERE WHERE WHERE do you get any of that over me saying that those three things are a female thing? Wow. Who was complaining about labour and delivery? Who was complaining about taking a birth control pill? Who said anything about every women in the world having a baby?
Re read what I said. You have some issues. I stated a simple fact...those are the female things the poster was meaning. Don't attack ME!
Dorkfully_geekalicious I am not trying to attack you personally, I've enjoyed your posts in numerous forums over time 
However your message I replied to involved you quoting EastSideEddie's statement questioning whether women have it harder than men, then you went on to try and explain on the OP's behalf some of the issues women deal with, which were the three things I enumerated in my reply: birth control, carrying a child, labour.
All I said was that your post sounded dangerously CLOSE to implying that all women have to deal with this 24/7, which I tried to explain simply isn't the case because the number of pregnancies the average woman undergoes is fairly small, and the timespan of inconvenience caused by said pregnancy is but a small fraction of their lives (and that's not even taking into account that child-rearing is optional, no one is forcing people to do it).
I bear you no animosity whatsoever, that's just how I read your post and I apologize if I've misinterpreted your intentions. 
P.S.: The only issues I currently have are an advanced reticence towards the worth of dating in general. I'm only 27 and am already rather weary of the whole hassle. 
P.P.S.: Please note that on the earlier pages I have already stated that I fully support vasectomies and believe them to be a logical and rational expectation once you've reached a certain age or point in your life where you do not desire children (or additional ones). What I've simply debated here is a few poster's implications that women have things harder than men, I believe life is pretty crappy for ALL of us all around... | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:30:37 AM |
I just think that responsible women who have been taking care not to get pregnant in the first half of their life, deserve to have someone take over that responsibilty.
That doesn't sound very "responsible" to me. If you have reached a point where you know you never want to have children, take responsibility for yourself and get sterilized. The Essure method is easy and has very few risks and a short recovery time.
The same goes for guys out there. If you know you don't want to have kids ever, with your current woman or with any women in the future, get a vasectomy. But do it because you want to do it, not because you are being pressured. Some women on this thread have said that men who don't want vasectomies need to "be a man" or "suck it up". Others have implied that they would withhold sex if he refused. These attitudes are selfish and manipulative and women that do things like that should be promptly shown the door.
Women, why keep holding onto resentment for men because they don't want to get snipped? Take responsibility for your own reproductive issues. | |
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TishaG
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Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 103 | |
| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:47:14 AM |
That doesn't sound very "responsible" to me. If you have reached a point where you know you never want to have children, take responsibility for yourself and get sterilized.
Obviously..some aren't hearing what I'm saying. I'm not talking about meeting someone and before the relationship goes any further, DEMANDING that they get snipped. I'm talking about where two people are already involved. Their discussion..their decision. I never once said anything about pressuring anyone to do anything. If a guy I was with was dead set against it..then he'd have to respect my decision to stick with condoms or the sponge because at 44 years old..and my family history..I'm NOT putting hormones in my body anymore, unless a doctor tells me I'll die without them. Christ..why is it on these boards when someone has a different opinion, some others perceive what they write as vicious and proceed to act like a child and flame them. I thought these forums were for everyone..whether we all agree or disagree. I'm done. | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:55:17 AM | People I think we can all just take a moment to breathe deeply, relax, and discuss this rationally without spiralling off onto any more tangents.
Surgically-speaking, vasectomy isn't that big of a deal compared to tubal ligation. Our good bits are on the outside and easier to get at. Period.
What everyone seems to be so hot in the collar over is who's expected to do what.
Personally-speaking I believe a married couple that has raised their kids and are still going strong but don't want any more should just opt for the vasectomy, PROVIDED they're both in agreement that the baby-ship has sailed. Otherwise they should just suck it up and wait out for menopause using condoms in the interim. Those two options seem far simpler than dragging the woman into the O/R and getting her fixed. 
However if it comes to older people that are just dating, I sure as heck wouldn't just get myself snipped for a woman I hadn't even pledged my life to yet, no matter how much I liked her. It's getting yourself sterilized for crying out loud, not exactly a simple decision unless you really hate the concept of children. I wouldn't expect a man nor woman to get sterilized under those circumstances, stick it out with condoms and spermicides if you hate the pill so much and use them diligently and hope for the best.  | |
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~Bob~
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Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 105 | |
| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/6/2006 12:11:59 PM | Tiger Woods Y'all!
Couldn't have put it better myself......very well spoken.
The only thing worth adding is that a vasectomy is not sperm.....er...fool-proof. Just because you have had one....does not mean biology has given up. They have a nasty habit of occasionally sending new sprouts and reconnecting services so to speak.
What would you name a child who was conceived post vasectomy? Name it after the milkman? | |
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dhanji
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Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 106 | |
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dhanji
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Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 107 | |
| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/6/2006 12:47:28 PM | By the way, hope I didn't burst anyone's bubble.
Anyway, if you need further convincing that there is a link between a vasectomy and prostate cancer, please go to the following link
http://general-medicine.jwatch.org/cgi/content/full/1993/302/1
There are others, but you can do your own research.
Regards. | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/6/2006 1:18:44 PM | When did this turn into "vasectomy vs tubal ligation"?
It grows clearer on the "why are there so many singles these days" question though. If HE doesn't want kids HE can get a vasectomy, use condoms, etc, if SHE doesn't want kids SHE can opt for tubal ligation, diaphram use or a myriad of other options that are available for women currently. If it happens to be a couple THEY can weight the options, effectiveness, and any side effetct TOGETHER (hopefully as compassionate adult instead of this me me me attitude I keep seeing)
For those that believe vasectomy is reversible procedure think again...... At best the SUCCESSFUL reversal rate versus ATTEMPTS at reversal is 49-56% (which is really poor considerring that some reconnect with no medical intervention). If you choose this procedure accept that it is likely a permanent change. For some it is suitable and others it is not. | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/6/2006 1:38:26 PM | had it done not tht big of a deal.....a bag of frozen peas for the day and a couple of tests afterwards.......
love kids but couldnt imagine going through it all over again...... | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/6/2006 6:12:55 PM | Thanks Bryantinfl....that made my day! Have to say I am just telling it like I see it. Just me..
Have a great weekend | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/13/2006 8:24:34 AM | Well gang...I'm happy to report that I've found one of those evolved men who took care of this situation years ago.
Got me a vasectomized man. Good Bye birth control pills...Woo Hoo!!! | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/13/2006 1:27:49 PM | | I still say a guy doesn't need this operation to ensure he won't impregnate a woman. The rhythm method combined with ordinary condoms and common sense is all a man needs. I have nothing against having a surgery if I need one, but this surgery does fall under the elective category, there really is no physical benefit to it like Lasik surgery, and isn't necessarily reversible should the dude change his mind (I'll bet many of you probably know at least one guy who is kicking himself over this procedure AFTER his woman decided to leave him). | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/13/2006 7:38:21 PM | I think a vasectomy is a personal choice that should be respected. Obviously if in a commited relationship the other persons input about it is important. Once its done, a reversal is costly and not always effective. So the choice to do it should be thought out carefully. My wife tried to get me to do one. And in the end I'm glad I didnt. She ended up cheating on me quite a few times anyway. If I get in a relationship were my partner never had children & really wanted to have one, well then it would be too late & might limit my future prospects as my partner wanting to have children. I have a good friend who had one. It was botched up. So now he walks with a permanent limp & has many surgeries to try to fix it. Along with sexual disfunctions. Since he's in the military he happened to sign a waiver that gave away his rights to sue if it went wrong. So I don't really don't care what other people think if I get one or not......because its my choice.
Peace, cooldude | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/14/2006 5:42:21 AM | | For some men, their masculinity is tied into the decision to have a vasectomy or not. Since I am not a man, I can't assume to understand the thought process nor get upset if they don't share my point of view. I will say that a man who is in a long term monogamous relationship and opts to get himself fixed instead of having the woman fixed, is a thoughtful and considerate man, the type I would find incredible charming and sexy. Have learned long ago that everyone needs to do what works best for them and had no problems with getting myself fixed instead of my ex. Even though we didn't work out, I have no regrets about the decision because at my age, I have no desire to revisit the baby years. | |
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mogrl
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Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 117 | |
| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/14/2006 6:15:54 AM |
So you've already had your kids OR don't want any to begin with. You're over...let's say 40, why wouldn't you get a vasectomy?
would you have a tubal ligation?? | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/14/2006 6:42:41 AM | I have 4 kids and decided that was enough. After my daughter was born, I had that done. I was honored with no pain nor after effects. In fact, I went to work the next day. It was so painless that I for a short time forgot all about it and I hopped off a barge deck to the ground. BIG MISTAKE...lol. Felt like they went to the gorund and bounced back up again..  Never had any problem with it again. Now, my brother sat on the sofa for 3 days with a bag of ice. I guess each is different. | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/14/2006 6:47:52 AM | men who are most worried about what a vasectomy could 'mess up' probably don't have much in that department in the first place  | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/14/2006 6:48:24 AM | | I also did it because I had 4 children from two marriages. And I don't think I needed to produce anymore children. But my second wife was 12 years younger than me nd IF something happened with our marriage, she could still be young enough to have another family with someone else. Ended up we DID divorce, so my decision to havethat done was a good one. I'm satisfied with my children I have and well, I'm also old enough where I don't want to be raising them at 70 years old either...lol. | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/14/2006 6:50:45 AM | | so there's link between a vasectomy and protate cancer, there's also a proven link between female birth control and uterine cancer. same difference. your parts are no more important than a woman's | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/14/2006 7:33:13 AM | | I've had my vasectomy and have mixed feelings. On one hand, we had three kids and while the arrangements were being made for the procedure, #4 was on the way!!!! Had things gone the way it was planned, she would not be with us and I could not imagine that (she's 4 now), I would be a poorer person for it. On the other hand, it's relieving to know that a #5 is not going to happen, it's just one milestone after another for wifey and I to have the ability to do things together, which after 10 years of child rearing is soooooo nice. | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/14/2006 9:27:11 AM |
I wonder how this thread would have gone if the title was “Tubal Ligation – what’s the big deal?” I suspect that any male that dared to post an opinion, for or against, would have been thrown to the wolves. Double standard maybe?
So you would rather go through actual surgery then have your man be in and out of the office in 20 min? | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:00:22 AM | | i know this is a 'men get your bits done' thread but ive just had the tubal ligation thingy done this week .... can i just say ..... ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Girls, get the blokes to do it!!!! | |
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| Vasectomy - what's the big deal?
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:57:00 AM | i like the way tonyagirl thinks. an example for women to aim for.
nobody is recommending tubal ligation.
surgeries are not necessarily foolproof. that's why i'd opt for common sense approaches to not "spreading my seed around", i.e. rhythm method and the use of condoms and/or exercising sexual restraint when probability of conception is highest in a woman's cycle. this is much more palatable to me instead of invoking an unnecessary surgery.
i can see how a lady might find her man's voluntary vasectomy to be an act of nobility. in life you measure your risks when doing anything dangerous, where you could lose something you value i recommend careful risk evaluation. | |
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