| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/13/2006 5:33:25 AM | BadGirl, I applaud you. You have a very good head on your shoulders. You can tell that you are very intelligent and don't let any man get you down. I love that.
You also appear to be an amazing mother. Any child would be lucky to have you as a mom. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/13/2006 8:25:16 AM |
Badgirl - *pushing and shoving to the front of the line* ... damn woman ... Im ready to stick Peacock feathers in my @ss and dance for you to grab your attention
Babe...whoever said you were in the back of that line?? Dance for me?? Now that I would love to see
Miss you big guy 
BadGirl, I applaud you. You have a very good head on your shoulders. You can tell that you are very intelligent and don't let any man get you down. I love that.
You also appear to be an amazing mother. Any child would be lucky to have you as a mom.
sweetvixey- You rock girl..luve the "stick it where the sun don't shine" comment!!!
Thanks for the compliment, I think you and I read from the same page in this big long book of life!! Keep a chin up always
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/13/2006 9:13:02 AM | http://www.womedia.org/taf_statistics.htm
* Single parents account for 27 percent of family households with children under 18.
* One in two children will live in a single-parent family at some point in childhood.
* One in three children is born to unmarried parents.
* Between 1978 and 1996, the number of babies born to unmarried women per year quadrupled from 500,000 to more than two million.
* The number of single mothers increased from three million to 10 million between
1970 and 2000.
http://www.rainbows.org/statistics.html
BEHAVIOR STATISTICS
75% of children/adolescents in chemical dependency hospitals are from single-parent families. (Center for Disease Control, Atlanta, GA)
1 out of 5 children have a learning, emotional, or behavioral problem due to the family system changing. (National Center for Health Statistics)
More than one half of all youths incarcerated for criminal acts lived in one-parent families when they were children. (Children's Defense Fund)
Nine million American children face risk factors that may hinder their ability to become healthy and productive adults. One in seven children deal with at least four of the risk factors, which include growing up in a single-parent household...The survey also indicated that children confronting several risk factors are more likely to experience problems with concentration, communication, and health. (1999 Kids Count Survey - Annie E. Casey Foundation)
TEEN PREGNANCY STATISTICS
75% of teenage pregnancies are adolescents from single parent homes (Children in need: Investment Strategies...Committee for Economic Development)
Approximately 13% of all babies born in the U.S. are born to adolescent mothers, with one million teens becoming pregnant each year. Explanations for teen pregnancy include the break-up of the American home and parental loss. (University of Kentucky, Departments of Psychiatry, Ob/Gyn and Psychology)
CUSTODIAL / NON-CUSTODIAL STATISTICS
The number of single-parent homes has skyrocketed, displacing many children in this country. Approximately 30% of U.S. families are now being headed by a single parent, and in 80% of those families, the mother is the sole parent. The United States is the world's leader in fatherless families.
Father absence contributes to crime and delinquency. Violent criminals are overwhelmingly males who grew up without fathers.
(U.S. Census Bureau report, "Child Support and Alimony: 1989, released Oct. 11, 1991) | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/13/2006 12:25:26 PM | MrGordonGecko-can you get into some Canadian statistics?? I'm not American!!!
AND those have NOTHING to do with your theory on single parents and their shelf life!! What about the families that actually do live together but don't get married and claim single so the government doesn't rip them off with childtax/baby bonus/gst/income tax/childcare..do you have those statistics???
Americans...Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce.
More than one million children have parents who separate or divorce each year.
More than half of Americans today have been, are or will be in one or more stepfamily situations.
Profile of Canadian families and households:
More children living with common-law parents
More young adults living with their parent(s)
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/14/2006 8:41:08 AM | | ^^^^^ Is one of VERY few I can honestly say I think is an amazing mother... and yes thats from first hand real life experiencing and watching her as a mother. I think theres MANY women who could and should mentor a woman like this as far as their parenting skills go | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:54:15 PM | | people don't care anymore i guess...also people used to put up with alot of abuse and thought they had to put up with it or were scaredto do anything about it.....whatever....im a single parent...it sucks but so do reationships | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/17/2006 8:15:23 AM | I dated my ex-wife for 5 years before we married. Then, we waited 3 years to conceive. Why? Because we were not financially ready for a child yet. Now I'm a single father, but I've done everything right. So, It's not because there wasn't enough sex-ed, because those who actually attended school and paid attention got the info they needed. Although I watched a lot of movies and sex is portrayed alot, I think they just cut out the scene where the guy puts on the condom so that they can keep it PG-13. 
I'm 27, not sure if that's what you'd consider a young single parent, but I think most of the younger kids get pregnant because of 3 factors.
1.) More kids are doing drugs.
2.) More kids are having sex.
3.) Mass punishment has taken away a lot of things for kids to do because of 1 kid ruining it for everybody and leaving them only to doing drugs and having sex for fun.
If you read that correctly, you'll see that I think there is actually only 1 factor. If you don't agree with me, think about this. If there was something better to do than having sex, you'd want to do it. If there was something better than getting high, you'd want to do it. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/17/2006 2:07:02 PM | MrGordonGecko
From a strictly fiscal perspective, teenage single mothers and their children have no real value in society. The odds are stacked that they will be a burden on the social welfare system and they and their children will always have decreased earning power their whole lives. So instead of paying more taxes and being more of a typical American consumer, they are just going to suck on the government tit some more. If there wouldn't be such a huge political and public relations backlash over it, I assure you the government would be sending out white vans, with the logo "No Fetus Will Beat Us" on the side, that would go door to door neutering poor uneducated teenage women.
Teenage single parents exist in such great numbers because no one is holding them accountable.
---I totally agree that there is alot of young women out there who get pregnant for absolutely the wrong reasons and do plan it. I am sure and you guys cant deny that when you were in highschool young girls use to think for some reason it was cool to have sex and cool to get pregnant.. but thats besides the point..
I take great offense to some of the posts written in here.. I am 22 years old and I have a 4 month old son and yes to fiesty or whoever wrote it.. My boyfriend of 3 years did cheat on me.. I tried to make it work with him but because of emotional and verbal abuse I left him.. I moved back in with my parents YEP NOT WELFARE!!!.. and not once have I been on welfare. Yes I get the government child care benefits and so on .. but for working for the last 7 years of my life I feel like I paid into my taxes and I can certainly have some of it back. I will be working now until I retire LOL.. and I am trying to go back to school.. So I guess what I am trying to say is that I totally agree that it happens but lets have some praise for those of women and MEN that seem to do it well without welfare.. or those who pay into their taxes so yes rightfully deserve the benefits from the government..
And dont think im living off my mom, as soon as my maternity leave is over I am moving out when I go back to work :)
I didnt read all the posts cuz there are so many but on the first page there is a girl there that speaks the truth.. especially when she says sex sells.. and thats about it now.. you want to come out with a new line of scarfs.. put them around a half naked man or half naked woman and im sure they will be a hit..
Melissa | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/17/2006 4:31:17 PM | I've been reading through all these posts, and something that strikes me as particularly funny is the people who swear up and down that they have all the answers and that they know EXACTLY what the problem is, when in actuality they haven't the slightest clue. I don't care how many "facts" or "statistics" you throw at me, they are never completely accurate. Tell me this Mr. Gordon, where exactly did these statistics come from? Who and how many people did they poll for these? Because I can tell you now, those "statistics" bear no resemblance to the actual real-life young single mothers I've met. The young single mothers I've met all have their lives together, are not on welfare, are taking excellent care of their kids, and they as well as their children are generally happy. And being a young single mother myself (had my son at 17), I can definitely say that you couldn't be further from the truth. I came from a 2 parent home, never touched a drug in my life, and I was doing pretty damn good before I got pregnant. I worked a full-time job since the age of 15, got excellent grades in school and before I got pregnant I'd been accepted full academic scholarship to all but one of the schools I applied to for college. Even after having my son, I did fairly well. Yes, I will be honest, I did have to use Government assistance for the first 6 months of parenthood. But while I was on welfare, I was going to school (community college) and actively looking for work. Today I'm still in school (almost done) and I have a great career in law enforcement. And both me and my son couldn't be happier! 
Now to get back to the original question "Why the number of single parents??", there are so many answers to that question we could be here all week. I think everyone that's posted so far has been right to some extent. Some do it to have someone in their life that will provide unconditional love. Others do it in an immature attempt to trap the man or "boy" in their life. And while I'm disgusted by the thought of it, some will actually do it for monetary reasons. But a trend I see, and the reason I became a single parent at such a young age, is young girls who think they're in love but don't yet truly know what love is. They're stuck in a dysfunctional relationship but stick around because of what they think of as love. Then the baby comes, and things change (at least for me and several other mothers I know). The blinders come off and now the focus is on "what is best for my child?". In my case, I made the decision to become a single mother rather than deal with the abuse from my baby's father. And as I keep saying, I know many other mothers that have been in the same position and taken the same road. I also think because of the increase in opportunities for women, more women are realizing that they don't need to stay in abusive relationships and that it is possible to survive on your own.
Like I said before, there is really no one "right" answer to this question. There's a lot of general statements being made, and everyone is absolutely entitled to have and voice their opinion. Just thought I'd add my little 3 cents worth!  | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/17/2006 8:15:10 PM | Wow...what a topic to throw out there. I have to respond simply because I am living the life of a single parent. I believe that yes so many people give up. Don't try and see what is the actual problem within the relationship. And, yes some give up. Also many aren't really happy and think they have to settle. Whether it be a woman or a man.
Personally..I had a daughter at the age of 18. I loved this man very much and tried everything I could do stay with him. I ended up going through 3 years of physical abuse and him not being faithful. But yet, I didn't want to go down the path w/out the father to my child. But, I finally got smart and left his A@@. Then, I was in a very good relationship later on. To a man I had known for years. I got pregnant and not to long after..he left.
I just shake my head and don't understand. It doesn't even matter anymore if people wait till they are married and in love. Somethings just happen. I think there are more divorced now than before is....back when the woman stayed at home and did what the man wanted her to do. I also think that abuse was very common and the woman didnt' want to leave because of the kids. Now days...I think we as woman who have dealt with abuse...simple leave.
Well..there's my 2 cents..--lol Take Care All | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/17/2006 8:40:57 PM | One thing I can't stand is people that look down on single parents. What if you were the one in our situation. What if the person you wanted to be with decided he didn't love you anymore b/c his other friend wasn't boring. But of course she also didn't have a child to raise. after 4 yrs I wasn't worth anything to him anymore.
Yes some people are just whores....SLeep with anyone and everyone...But why? Because the Older Married couple is letting their child run their lives and do whatever they please...
No, I wasn't married when I had my child. I was engaged and supposed to get married. Found out I was pregnant, decided we would have our child first then get married later. It just never happened that way.
And yes some single parents want a child and have no one. So they go get pregnant and they have a child and THEY ARE HAPPY. I honestly have to say I'm a much happier person since my daughter was born. If you would have met me before then You wouldn't recognize me now. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/17/2006 9:04:27 PM | Oh Oh Oh I just came across this Thread and I just had to click on it!
Ok first of all I do agree with you Northern to a point.... I agree with the whole education is a first thing before planing a family but you know what not all times does that happen.
As for the birth control I understand your question about that as well because of the fact that yes we all do know about it but you know what hun "NEWS FLASH" Not everyone can use it.
As for the WHY single parents??? well first off no one plans to be a single parent... I sure as hell know that I didnt plan it.. And no my daughter was not planed but guess what she is here now. And you have to realize there are people out there that do get pregnant well on Birth control, and you do have people out there that do get pregnant well using protection? What about them people???/
Now as for something else you said in one of your post which I think was when the thread first started.... pretty well about "god did not inpregnante us" Well hun sorry to tell you but if you think back to the bible yes he did, God is the one that made people correct? Well guess what he had help in getting us pregnant cause if not then people would be pregnant EVERY time they had unprotected sex... And yes having unproteded sex does lead to pregnancy but look at married people who have unproteced sex and you dont see them getting pregnant everytime they have sex now do you???? Children are sent from god.
Another reason why there are a lot of single parents is because once there was talk of a baby coming............ mom/dad decided that it was not something that they were ready for and that they were not as grown up as they thought they were.... that is why there is a lot of single parents out there.
Now as to the part about single parents and Welfare? I admit it that during my pregnancy I was on assistance but that was because I had no choice..... I could not work due to having a hard pregnancy, My now ex would not get off his ass to work to take cause of his Family-to-be and no it was not a 1 night stand thing, or a 6 months thing it was a 3 Year thing with 2 years of engament even before talk of the baby coming. I had no choice at that time and no I did not finish my high school so pretty well all the questions that you had I fall into them but can I say one thing??? When you have a child and you are a parent you will do everything in your child's best intrest to change that.
I am a single mother to a 1 year old little angel (sent from god), I take care of her all day, I work at night from 5 pm to 1:30 am but I still get up to take care of my daughter at 6 am every morning. Well working full time and taking care of my daughter I am also doing my schooling to get that education that I didnt have before but am now going to have and you wana know why I work full time, and am doing my schooling? so that I can give my daughter everything she wants and deserves. That is my job as a mother. Now I am 23 years old and I will admit that I had my stupid young days but you know what MOST mom's out there that are good mom's will more then likely agree with this. FROM THE DAY YOU FIND OUT YOUR PREGNANT YOUR WHOLE WORLD CHANGES!
And you know what I am going to end this with just a few more things to say and that is that I love being a single mother, I love that my daughter was not planed, I love that her father walked out and does nothing to support her in any way... you know why???? Because if none of that happened I would more then like still be like that teen that I was and have no education, sitting at home sleeping my day away rather then work, and be on assistance well letting my parents support me for the rest of my life. But because of having my daughter and being a single mother I changed my life for the better and I GREW up which some parents dont! | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/18/2006 8:59:00 PM | Nevaehs_mom----
You are my idol.. lol.. I mean that seriously.. It sounds like exactly the same thing is going on with you as with me.. my son is only 4 months though.. but I dropped out of school and I am planning on going back in Jan. worked for the last 7 years of my life. I was with my ex for 3.. he cheated on me and so on and left me pretty much to do this on my own.. other then the whole custody case which he is refusing to be served with and so on and whatever.. the last part of your thing is totally just the way I feel.. I love every waking moment spending it with my son and I wouldnt change any of it for anything.. Although he has been sleeping through the night since he was like a month and a half I couldnt give a rats behind if he got up every 2 hours.. I value every minute I spend with him.. and although I am a little bit afraid of if he is going to blame me for the immature father I stupidly chose for him.. I look at it as his loss.. and more time I get to spend with my son and teach him the values in life.. and although I wont knock down his father to him I will certainly do my best to teach him how to treat a lady..
I have read a whole lot of your posts.. and you have spoke nothing but intelligence.. I have to applaud you  you sound like a great mother and I am sure your daughter thinks so as well.. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/18/2006 9:19:54 PM | Hi Fckn Around
I just wanted to say thank you for you message.... And the same goes back toyou because I have read a few of yours as well hun  | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/19/2006 10:28:50 AM | i also have to agree that becoming a single mom myself was actually a blessing in disguise.
I am a different person than I used to be.I was selfish....unhappy and blamed my ex for EVERYTHING. Once I went to marriage counselling...and also a lifestyles CHIOCES course I looked inside myself a realized yes he was an absolute horrific jacka$$ to me...but I wasnt so nice either.
It took me a year or so to shed my anger and apologize to ppl I hurt, and turn myself around smile agian...become stronger and responsible and become the mom i always thought I should be. Im proud of my accomplishments and my parents tell me as well how I did it all on my own and they me...
So we have alot to be thankful for..I count my blessings every day and am grateful that my ex left when he did.I would still be an angry miserable person and I never would have met my fiance who i adore..now my kids will have an awesome dad figure and we all can put the past behind us..  | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/19/2006 5:10:02 PM | | Well This is something that I am passionate about. I got pregnant at 17 and the dad left when he found out. Big deal. I see posts all the time about having kids too early and people discriminating against it. I don't encourage girls to get pregnant at a young age but if it happens it happens. Thier life is what they make of it. I Graduated, raised my daughter and have a great job and I am a terrific mom. Girls at that young of age are not thinking that they want to get pregnant well not most of them. It happens on accident. Most teenage girls get pregnant becuase they don't think it could actually happen to them but hopefully they will make the best out of it. I am a counsler for Teenage pregnant girls, and I have met a lot that made the best of it and lived thier life to the fullest but then i have met the once that I pray and hope that baby is taken care of well and it turns thier life around. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/19/2006 8:46:47 PM | I can't spaek for anyone except myself.
I am a single mother (again) because I have put my child first. and so did the person I blended my family with, when we started to see things happening in our childrens lives that we both did not agree with, we both tried and tried to comprimise, and it all ended up that nothing could be changed, so for the sake of our children, we went our separate ways.
On a good note, both children are doing very well, and we are still friends, must have done something right.
thants it for me:) | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/19/2006 9:37:24 PM | the reason me and my sons father are not together is because he decided to smoke crack in the ro0m next to me when he knew i thought i was pregnant and when i told him he told me to have an abortion and that "he didnt have the money for it".....
i have no regrets on leaving him when i did because right after we broke up he moved out of the state and got married....also he has only called 2 times through the 6 months of my pregnancy..... | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/20/2006 9:53:27 AM | | i must admit that u do have a point but you really do have to realise there are loads of different circumstances surrounding every single mum out there. I recently became a single mum because my partner mentally abused me,lied and treated me like dirt. I never ever wanted to become a single parent but i have to make the best of my situation to make sure my daughter is happy. Im only 21 and i fell pregnant at 19, i felt way too young at that time but i personally couldnt go through with an abortion so i had my baby. | |
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Smjle
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Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 96 | |
| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/22/2006 7:15:20 AM | Of course the primary reason is the money women can collect from child support. However, from reading these posts it would appear the reason is because so many young mothers are stupid. A common theme they post is "My man was bad." They claim, he was abusive, he was a cheater, he was a no account bum, and/or he left.
Most men are decent and it is easy to tell the difference. I can usually tell the difference in just a couple of minutes. Therefore, if they are to be believed, these women are deliberately picking men the few men that are jerks and passing on the many men that are decent. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/22/2006 1:15:20 PM | sblcassidy... great post!!!
Some chose to be a single parent because its not healthy to live a lie with someone - some look at it as giving up, I look at it as a sacrifice of love - I walked away, with the children because we could not fit into eachothers world. Why turn our children's life upside down just because we dont get along? I learned from my own experience in a divorce that the anemosity parents create between eachother makes children grow into insecure, lonley, misdirected people.
If I had have stayed...we would both be working and neglecting the family, and fighting about it the whole time.
I dont believe in the idea "make your bed you lie in it"... to me, that kills ones spirit and passion ~two crucial neccessities in life.
If I'd have given up my spirit and passion for life, I would not be at my best for directing my children, the way I see fit. If I would have made him give up his spirit and passion...that would not be a true act of love.
Our children would have been raised by daycares and babysitters...and have no parents, continuing the vicious cycle. My rights as a mom would have been robbed from me.
Going back to the basics is definetly important...teaching our children values and integrity while the world is so full of deciet and distraction is a huge challenge. Some are so caught up in the worldly things...sex, money, material things that they fail to see the beauty of the human soul, the value of a family. With no parents to direct them, they become disconnected, unresponsive and cold...they reach out for that connection without really getting to know the person, and before you know it - they are single parents too. | |
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Daleen
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Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 98 | |
| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/22/2006 2:53:04 PM | I never chose to be a single parent it was forced upon me. He never chose to be a single parent hence the girlies living with me.....
What a horrible post to an already unpleasant product of our society...... | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/23/2006 9:17:11 AM | Hi North Exposed, you mentioned a few more things that I wanted to comment on.
First, I believe getting along and having fun with my children is wonderful and essential, but I too, don’t think I should be “buddies” with them until they have passed into adulthood.
Second, I don’t believe we can stop the progress of the loss of innocence, but I hope we can slow it down and eventually teach THEM when to change the channel. As early as kindergarten, our children hear older children swearing, fighting, and telling them there is no such thing as Santa. However, I think being involved, having more communication, supervising our children more closely at home and while they’re out, is important. I think encouraging our children to spend time with family members and friends/friends families that model our own values and morals is important also.
Third, you mentioned that you think that a child’s ultimate choice stems from upbringing, and the values they are shown. While I (? try to) believe it for the most part, I must also challenge it. I am trying to understand why, when 2 siblings are raised by the same by 2 caring and loving parents, do they make such different choices? Even when babes are in vitro, their personalities seem different. One is a kicker while another is quiet. One toddler follows most rules, listens and learns. Meanwhile the other challenges a lot, listens less and makes similar mistakes repeatedly. They choose different types of friends and get into different relationships. That is another topic though.
I would like to sign off with a quote I hope you enjoy. My daughter brought home from her Business Builders course 2 years ago (she was 12). It reads “Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” (Frank Outlaw)
Try re-reading it with “their” (our children).
 Yarrow40 | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 10/23/2006 11:56:11 PM | micdom8402 - For myself, the stats I posted are from several surveys of several thousand people in Canada and the USA. Just because its not your friends who are on welfare, doesnt mean it doesnt exist.
DragonChick1984 - Im not looking down on anyone, it was a question that was posed to the masses. As for being in your situation? ..never assume Im not.
Nevaehs_mom - WHOS GOD ? and if you are going to make a defence with religion, would that not mean that non of you are true christians for having sex out of wedlock, and if not a true christian how can you preach it? The bible is gossip that has been translated time after time and each person taks their own truth from it.
Im reading alot of posts about how mentaly and physicly abusing the partners were.. and I think .. what the hell were you with them in the FIRST place for, and what EVER possesed you to think that bringing a child into that would be healthy??
Also interesting is how many take it as a personal attack, when its more of a question of enlightenment and learning | |
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