| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/8/2007 1:46:15 PM | | i have read some of the threads here.i have a seven year old doughter and from as fare back as i can remember i have tride to teach her (brain wash)that you dont have kids till you have a husban ! from the thing i know ,that by the time your child reaches 5 years of age you have already made them who they will be so you must start young to make changes in the way they will think when they get older if you wait to long you will miss your chance. change will come from what we teach and show our kids!good luck and be who you want your kids to be!!! | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/9/2007 1:29:23 AM | | because people are softheaded and stupid :) It's the decay of society I tell ya! Soon, getting married to have kids would be a curious remnant of a long forgotten past. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/9/2007 9:53:35 AM | | Im not a single parent through choice............i got married we decided to have a child....we split up when daughter was a year old....and he hasnt seen (or wanted to) see my child in 12 years or helped fincancially in any way...im a single parent because of HIM not cause i wanted to be....but im lucky that i have had the support of my family and my daughter wants for nothing. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/9/2007 2:58:28 PM | | I agree most heartedly. I am not young but I am a single parent. My son and his wife found themselves pregnant during their senior year of High School. In my son's world and hers they were raised that all of your actions may have consequences and that you should be prepared for those consequences. They have both stepped up to the plate magnificently as they finished High School....had a baby for a graduation present, got married and have worked and struggled to put each other through school. My son now has a four year degree and is a EMT for the fire department and my daughter in law is finishing her degree up as well. Many hard times hit them but their family was there. They moved in with me and my daughter and I babysat nights and weekends so they could work and go to school. So maybe the answer shouldn't be put so much at the kids feet as it should at the parents. My kid did not get pregnant the family did and we all made sacrifices. My beautiful grandaughter is and always will be worth all of those sacrifices. | |
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Smjle
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Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 130 | |
| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/12/2007 1:45:02 PM | One because it is considered acceptable for young single women to get pregnant and have children and two it is for the money.
There have always been young single women having children; however, the numbers have exploded since there is little social disapproval and expecially because they get paid to have children. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/12/2007 3:57:49 PM | Diggy
OOOOooooo A free sociolgy lesson.
Hey does anyone have any stats to back up what they say?
Yes took ECE, and many many parenting and stat classes while attending school after having my child. And most of it is common sense I don't understand why you waste your time typing as negative as that.
NE WAYS
Shite happens societys is waaayyy different than what its once was...why so many single parents, why so much more crime, why more divorces, why more anything? Society has changed faster than we can adapt. Less family time, means more want for exception when your young and "in love" so to speak I was engaged young he was an ass I have a daughter from that. I work hard I pay taxes , im the one helping when you drop something in the street, single parents arent a BAD THING, were just like those with out kids, cept we have kids- you bleed we bleed its almost like another form of racism now a days. Another reason for higher pregnancy rate in younger females..parents have that same oppinion....o the schools do safe sex, we dont need to talk to our 11 yr old why she shouldnt give ablow job under the bleachers, we dont need to tell our boys having sex DOESNT make them cool. and to those in here stirring up trouble and your not a parent, .....why would you click the single parent button??? Ne ways I love being a mom I still go out with my single non-parent friends and i live life as well as I know how *kisses* love to everyone fishing | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/12/2007 4:46:53 PM | | I don't know if I am a young single parent but I am a single parent, and I can tell you why and no it isn't because of "Sex ED". I have a wonderful 2 year old son and the reason I am a single parent is because his mother/my exwife decided drugs and some other things were more important then her son or husband and she walked out on us. People don't always come young single parents from not using protection either things do happen. Accidents do happen. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/12/2007 4:49:04 PM | Smjle...these women that u speak of didnt get themselves pregnant...dont make this all the womans fault...tsk tsk tsk | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/12/2007 6:53:28 PM |
Smjle...these women that u speak of didnt get themselves pregnant...dont make this all the womans fault...tsk tsk
Yes that is true also. I am a guy so I can say this out right. All of the guys on here saying oh the women are easy they should have used protection blah blah blah. You know what they didn't get pregnant on their own so don't sit there and act like it is all the womans fault. Fellow guys take a look in your pants because you know it takes that to help make a kid also, and do not go dissing single parents because you place a stereo type on anyone who is a single parent so don't. My mom was a single parent after my father was killed, and I am a single parent because my ex is a drug problem and some other problems that she didn't wish to get help with and decided drugs where more important then her son or husband so you can take your stereo types some where else, and don't just blame women because it takes a guy to. Also you know this did happen through many eras hence shot gun weddings. You also want to dis single parents who get aid. Well try this one I am on disability I cannot work because of my disability, and I recieve the same disability check every month that I have since before my son was born and I recieve an extra check for him, and I do get other state aid. You think that someone likes having to get help, you think we enjoy it. You know what I would give if I could go back to work full time and be able to drive again, but you automatically judge on the basis of someone being a single parent or them recieving financial aid. Also don't you think it would be wiser for a woman to raise a child as a single parent rather then get an abortion So don't just judge people you are being shallow if you assume the same for every person hence racism. Find out that persons story before you judge them. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/14/2007 12:08:04 PM | Some how we lost the plot of this forum, *laugh* everyone is passionate about there oppinions which im glad to see. We all have our stories, all I can say is I hope everyone is enjoying their children and also remembering to take care of themselves and have some"you" time once in a while. To those kid-less in here spouting their opinions and looking down their noses...ummm we work just as hard if not harder than you, add kids to what you do, then add kids and being alone..the remember that the next time you think negative about us single parents. Most of us work great jobs, (carreers) and friends and good lives as well as our wonderful children. Love and kindness to you all. | |
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babs3
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Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 136 | |
| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/15/2007 2:04:10 AM | I am probably going to get slammed for this one...but...the reason there is so many single parents these days (speaking about my generation) were told "we could have it all"...the career, the husband and the kids. Unfortunatley I don't think the boys ( men) understood how that statement made to us young girls at that time, would affect the way of life their Father's modelled for them....someone on the womans side must have forgotten to send that memo out!! I know from my own experience that I can't have it all....without some help from my partner...which I never got...hence the divorce....Personally, I think men were a bit slow to catch up too the woman's movement....but I have seen some improvements...hopefully the next generation will benefit from the lessons learned. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:33:33 AM | in the town where i live, teenage pregnancy has grown to epidemic proportions. if you haven't had 3-4 kids by age 21, everyone wonders what's wrong with you. a newborn is the latest fashion accessory for teenage girls.
now, i realize that this model doesn't apply to most of the women here, but i see it in this town. this phenomenon may or may not indicate similar situations throughout our society.
i theorize that these girls want babies. they actually feel a baby will complete their lives and give them a sense of fulfillment. i find it quite sad that these girls with so much potential have consciously made the decision to reject their own minds and abilities to embrace a life where changing diapers seems like a huge accomplishment. i don't say this to diminish or devalue this experience. but i see it over and over and really feel helpless to see what it does to the community. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:51:44 AM |
"we could have it all"...
Actually both genders fail to realize that you CAN have it all, just NOT right away. There are steps to take before you can own that mansion, have all the toys to play with, holiday trips all over the world, CHILDREN, etc, etc. You cannot have any of these things without actually having to work and pay for them in some shape or form, and with this, it takes TIME. Of course, a lot today want it NOW and forget that there is always a tomorrow.
Ever hear the sayings about "the cart before the horse" or "Rome was'nt built in a day"???? Probably just us old farts remember them. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/16/2007 6:14:21 PM | Hiy'all ...I am not a younger parent...I am 48 with a 17 and 12 yr old daughters. I knew my boyfriend for five years before we married. We were what you could say established. The interference of an over-bearing mother-in-law drove us(me) over the edge and now the girls live with me in a different province in my sister's basement rather than in the 12 room house we was completely paid for. My ex split basically because he could not take the strife of having to pick sides (I guess he picked his mommy).
So my theory on it all is that it doesn't really matter...So long as there is sanity in which the children can grow up and and a sense of belonging and love. It sure beats the heck out of the coldness in the air of when we were together. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/17/2007 12:58:11 AM | WOWZIE!
What does AGE have to do with it, anyhow!!!???
Dont matter how old or young you are, if you are SINGLE and trying to raise children, it is almost IMPOSSIBLE these days and age !
But i do it! and do a danged good job.
I own my own 5 bedroom home, and we have food on our table.
They are in every activity out there and they are way too spoiled,
They need to do MORE around the house....to help out.
Im way too easy on them, i guess to compensate for their slavedriver dad.
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:41:55 AM | | If you know your kids are "way too spoiled", why don't you do something about it? You are their primary parent, so it is up to you to raise responsible children. I was a single parent (because of divorce), and it is more important for children to learn to "earn" their own way than be overcompensated by a guilty feeling parent. Eventually you will be dead (yes, you will), and they will have to fend for themselves. If you were gone today---how prepared for life are they? This applies whether they are 5 or 15 or older. This isn't a popular idea, but I think increased welfare/food stamps should stop after the 2nd pregnancy. And dna tests should be required & dad's named to help pay for these kids. | |
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Smjle
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Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 142 | |
| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/23/2007 2:18:10 PM |
Smjle...these women that u speak of didnt get themselves pregnant...dont make this all the womans fault...
That is not relevant because it the woman's choice. Guys are considerate and generous so if a girl wants a baby, they are willing to help her out with a donation. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:37:18 PM | | I see one of the main reasons this is happening is because with each generation, standards are not as high. One of the main reasons a woman didn't have sex outside of Marriage was because she would be frowned upon by all who knew her. Whilst this isnt right in itself, it did have what you could call a "contraceptive affect" on men and women, mainly women though. Now though, because its accepted a lot more than it was, that "deterrent" no longer exists. Dont get me wrong, I dont think that your a bad person if you have sex outside of marriage. This is just how I honestly see it. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:52:35 PM | I totally AGREE!
I experienced the same single not by choice event also and I truly believe that people just give up when years ago marriage was a committment that people actually took seriously. I understand that not all relationships can be forever for different reasons but I have very few friends who are still with the person they married, so yes in my opinion people in general give up too easily and walk away. A marriage does not just work all the time, there are hills and valleys, both parties have to make an effort to make it last a lifetime. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/23/2007 6:06:47 PM | I am 20 years old and my son is 2!
I think it is stupid to tell people that they are too "young to have children. You never hear someone say "you're too old to have children", but why not?
I had a child knowing i could provide for him. I am only 20, yet I finished high school, college, own three cars, and my own house. Most "old" parents can't even provide that much....so tell me why people pick on "young" parents.???
My son is well provided for weather I am young or old...well he's pretty much spoiled (which isn't good at all).
I'm making it work with his dad, even thought 98% of the woen in my position would have hit the road by now. But my son deserves his father. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/24/2007 10:10:25 AM | | i think it depends on the person there are som young single parents that are really well off and can do better then most two parent familys. I'm 21 i have 4 month old son i chose to leave his father for our own safety. but i also think that the govnt is giving single parents to much money and support. i know poeple that think they can just keep getting pregnant and that welfare will take care of them forever. the more kids you have the more money they give you. so yes there are to many young single parents out there but you cant judge then all. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:49:35 PM | i think you're well shot of him and it's his loss .i can't imagine if i had a child and missing his/hers first tooth,word or steps!he must be a shallow,self obsessed numpty!!good on you girl. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/25/2007 8:51:46 PM | I am not sure where many of you live, but in the United States the only sexuality education funded by the government is abstinence only education. This type of education focuses on abstinence as the only method of protection from pregnancy and STD's. There is no education on contraception except in the form of scare tactics stating that it doesn't work. While teen pregnancy rates have decreased some since 2004, our rates are several times higher than those of other first world countries who use comprehensive sexuality education.
Comprehensive sexuality education places a focus not only on physiological functioning, but also on interpersonal relationships, gender identity, and sexual orientation. Overall the statistics indicate that it is a much better program, but due to conservatives no changes have been made in the status quo since 1981. OP-you stated that we all have had sex ed. Those who take virginity pledges are twice as likely to not use a condom and have the same rates of STD's as those who don't.
As far as the change factor, here's a breath of fresh air for you. I changed because I became less tolerant of the drinking, the all nighters, and the irresponsibility. I stopped trusting him to take care of my child while I was working to support our family. I would come home to him sleeping and our daughter screaming still in her pajamas with poop crusted up her back. I gave him an ultimatum, his family or his beer and his drinking buddies. He chose the latter. I don't regret my decision, but I do take responsibility for the things I did wrong. I had a negative attitude spurned by post-partum depression and my daughter's medical problems. He took the brunt of it and nothing he did was good enough, but it was all a response to our underlying issues. I lashed out at him out of frustration and sleep deprivation further driving a wedge
between us. We made each other miserable and it was time to get out.
Truth be told, I knew he was an alcoholic after about six months together, but I was just having fun and it was just me to worry about. So now I have a pill, condom, didn't finish because drunk penises never work right, baby. I'm not even mad at him for the crap he did to me, but I hold him accountable for the abuse he puts my daughter through. She deserves better than second fiddle to a twelve pack! | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/29/2007 1:15:22 PM | Nobody gets married thinking it will end. It's how it works, you get married start a family and then live happily ever after. Except it doesn't always work that way so there are children involved.
Again, no one expects or hopes to be divorced. | |
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