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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 152 | |
| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 4/30/2007 4:15:29 AM | I haven't read through the whole thread yet, but it's funny, I was just reading a thread today about being "selfish" in deciding not to have kids. It's ridiculous, you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't.
Many myths (and you just have to look through the threads to see these opinions. Unfortunately, they are not just the opinion of one or two oddballs, but many):
1-Single mothers are wanton, slutty women looking for a man to "trap" into paying her, and her kids', way
2-Single fathers are looking for someone to do the work, and raise his kids for him, because he "couldn't hold onto a woman, like a good man should" (I actually saw that response in a thread...ouch!)
3-Single women with no kids must have something wrong with them, poor things, no one wants them
4-Single men with no kids are selfish **stards who want to screw everything that moves (with some exceptions, of course)
5-Single people who state they don't want kids are selfish and should "give it a try"...ummm, can you test drive children? I'm thinking "no".
6-Divorced people are evil, incarnate.
I guess my point is that SOMEONE will always find a way to judge you based on what you have going on, or don't have going on in your life. I know that a lot of single parents are under a lot of stress and I don't envy them their job.
Being a single parent does not make a person more or less than anyone else. People make bad choices, birth control fails, marriages break up, people leave and never bother to be a part of their children's lives, people die...for every single parent out there, there is probably a different story for WHY they're a single parent.
Edit: I have returned from perusing the thread...not all of it, but enough to make me go "wow!". There are some real generalizations going on out there...there are a few that I wanted to blast and I really had to hold back, but then I realized, that even they had SOME good points (very few, but nonetheless...). But again, it's all about assumptions and everyone's opinion.
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Smjle
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Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 153 | |
| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/12/2007 12:09:00 PM | Just follow the money. Women have children for the money. Take away the money like God and nature intended and there will be few single parents.
Without the money, which they have done nothing to earn, even the women that happen to get pregnant will have an abortion or give their children up for adoption and that is the way it should be. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 154 | |
| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/12/2007 12:43:58 PM | a large part of it is immaturity. Young teens hooking up, making poor choices.
It seems like more kids are having kids.  | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/13/2007 2:29:36 PM | | There are so many young single parents because they all think it won't happen to them. They are in love and their spouse would never just walk away from them. Some of the single parents want someone to love them unconditionally and think having a child will give them that. They get unconditional love with a lot of commitment. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/13/2007 2:48:10 PM | This was in The Kansas City Star today:
Report: Teen birth rate hits record low
By JENNIFER C. KERR
Associated Press Writer
Fewer high school students are having sex these days, and more are using condoms. The teen birth rate has hit a record low.
More young people are finishing high school, too, and more little kids are being read to, according to the latest government snapshot on the well-being of the nation's children. It's good news on a number of key wellness indicators, experts said of the report being released Friday.
"The implications for the population are quite positive in terms of their health and their well-being," said Edward Sondik, director of the National Center for Health Statistics. "The lower figure on teens having sex means the risk of sexually transmitted diseases is lower."
In 2005, 47 percent of high school students - 6.7 million - reported having had sexual intercourse, down from 54 percent in 1991. The rate of those who reported having had sex has remained the same since 2003.
Of those who had sex during a three-month period in 2005, 63 percent - about 9 million - used condoms. That's up from 46 percent in 1991.
The teen birth rate, the report said, was 21 per 1,000 young women ages 15-17 in 2005 - an all-time low. It was down from 39 births per 1,000 teens in 1991.
"This is very good news," said Sondik. "Young teen mothers and their babies are at a greater risk of both immediate and long-term difficulties."
The birth rate in the 15-19 age group was 40 per 1,000 in 2005, also down sharply from the previous decade.
Education campaigns that started years ago are having a significant effect, said James Wagoner, president of Advocates for Youth, a Washington-based nonprofit group that focuses on prevention of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
"I think the HIV/AIDS epidemic and the efforts in the '80s and '90s had a lot to do with that," Wagoner said of the improved numbers on teen sex, condoms and adolescent births.
"We need to encourage young teens to delay sexual initiation and we need to make sure they get all the information they need about condoms and birth control," he said.
The report was compiled from statistics and studies at 22 federal agencies, and covered 38 key indicators, including infant mortality, academic achievement rates and the number of children living in poverty.
Other highlights:
-The percentage of children covered by health insurance decreased slightly. In 2005, 89 percent of children had health insurance coverage at some point during the year, down from 90 percent the previous year.
-The percentage of low birthweight infants (born weighing less than 5 pounds, 8 ounces) increased. It was 8.2 percent in 2005, up from 8.1 percent in 2004.
-More youngsters are getting reading time. Sixty percent of children ages 3-5 (and not in kindergarten) were read to daily by a family member in 2005, up from 53 percent in 1993.
-The percentage of children who had at least one parent working year round and full-time increased to 78.3 percent in 2005, up from 77.6 percent the previous year.
-More young people are completing high school. In 2005, 88 percent of young adults had finished high school - up from 84 percent in 1980.
The report was released by the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics - a consortium of federal agencies that includes the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, the Census Bureau and the Administration for Children and Families.
So fewer teens are getting pregnant (but have you heard of the "prom babies" -- teenagers that get pregnant on prom night because they are afraid to leave home for college, or think it may prevent them from being kicked out of the house when they graduate high school?????)
But I do believe that more young women are getting knocked up intentionally who claim it was an accident. I simply can't believe THAT many birth control devises fail or there are THAT many uneducated women in this country. I believe it's partly to trap a man. Partly because they believe a baby will fix a relationship. And certainly for financial reasons.
Blast away. | |
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babs3
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Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 157 | |
| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/15/2007 9:38:42 PM | ^^^^^I think you are confused about the question....not every single parent has had a child as a teenager!....but since you went there.....why do you think we call teenagers...uhg...teenagers?....perhaps because they have not matured into adults?
Dosen't the word teenager/adolescent not imply immaturity? It is a very dangerous attitude to have as an adult, to believe that teenagers have the ability to see the repercussions of they're actions 10, 20, or 30 years down the road. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:50:48 AM | another reason is that both men and women seem to give up on relationships way too soon and want to move on...very sad!!
I am not saying stay in a bad relationship...but try to work things out before moving on. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:09:11 PM | ^^^^
That is what happened in my relationship. My ex decided it was too hard to work on the relationship, and that my entire job in life, was to make her be happy. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/23/2007 6:21:06 PM | | Another reason could be that we do not have the same morality as a society that we used to and as I stated earlier too many people "move on" instead of trying to make the relationship work. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/23/2007 6:48:16 PM | there are lots of "young" single parents out there simply because there are lots of "older" single parents out there. the cycle often perpetuates itself, despite the "better efforts" of parents! actions speak louder than words; in other words, single parents can caution their children about being responsible, the perils and difficulties of single parenting, and say in the back of their minds, "my mistakes will not be repeated by my child because i am educating him/her and steering them in a different direction." newsflash: kids often model their parents behavior,probably more often than not. perhaps the more appropraite question would be "how many single parents on this site had divorced/single parents?"
not to mention the "ease" of having affairs lately, coupled with the "instant gratification" society in which we live. think about it... computer too slow? get dsl. hate shopping? order on-line. relationship problems? a new love interest could be just a mouse click away... | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/23/2007 6:56:31 PM | Without the money, which they have done nothing to earn, even the women that happen to get pregnant will have an abortion or give their children up for adoption and that is the way it should be.
wow...you're serious??? this is really what you think? gotta run...i'm too busy shaking my head and biting my tongue to respond! | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/24/2007 1:55:32 PM | i am a single mum and it wasnt by choice i am 26 and had my daughter when i was a month od being 23.
I had always said if i ever got pregnant when i was single i would have a termination as i felt that i wouldnt of been able to provide for that child how i wanted to !
HOW WRONG WAS I !!!!!!
i was in a long term relationship fell pregnant my partner was already a control freak and mentally abuisve towards me and it got worse when pregnant i left him when i was 7.5 months gone due to the abuse i moved 350 miles away back down south to family area
previous to this i have always been working full time i went on maternity pay from job
i was on full benefits from the may till the july then i went out when my daughter was 8 months old and found myself a job
so to all you out there you brand us all the same we dont all set out to get knocked up so we get a house and help from council
coz i dont get anything like that 7 year wait for council property so i fork out 750 month just to keep a roof over our heads
i work look after and provide for my daughter as best as i can what you have to ask yourselves is why do we meet people who abuse us to make us end up as single parents
so when your quick to jump to the same conculsion about all single parents remember we have feelings and most the time its down to the men that we are in the situations that we are
we may be single parents but we work hard at home and in jobs to look after our children who mean the world to us | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/25/2007 7:49:11 PM | but i also think that the govnt is giving single parents to much money and support. i know poeple that think they can just keep getting pregnant and that welfare will take care of them forever. the more kids you have the more money they give you.
boy, i must be living in the wrong part of the globe!!! i see you are speaking of british columbia? here in sunny california, the "gov't" gives a single mother and a child $540.00 a month. a family of 3 reveives approx. $624.00. who could possibly live on that? in my neck of the woods, there is no longer any such thing as "welfare", it has been replaced by HUGE budget cuts, impossible conditions, and a fancy acronym called TANF. The image of the welfare queen is a myth, largely created by bitter taxpayers; after all, what mother in her right mind thinks of 540.00 a month (with an approximate $85.00 increase per month, per child) as a financial incentive to pop out more children??? | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 7/25/2007 8:19:51 PM | i am a single dad with two girls
we thought we would make a good life with there mother but it didnt happen
i guess its a lot better for the kids involved to have two separtated parents that can be happy then to have them together and haveing the shits with each other
we tried to make it work like 4 times over the years but ya got to call enough when ya bashing ya head against a wall.
like i said ya have to do what is best for the kids involved
would have been a lot easier to stay in the relatioship then to raise the girls on my own
but shit happens
and realy do enjoy our life now
besides heaps of anmals rais the offspring as single parents are we realy that different
peace | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:33:34 AM | I don't think Sex education is the blame.Many of the people of the new generation have gone out on the limb that the Man Loves them and he knows how to say it. Everr heard that a Woman falls in love with her ears? A Man falls in Love with his eyes?
Think on that and then you'll have your answer...Lee | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 9/14/2007 6:31:13 AM | | newby your reading my mind!i had my older son when i was 21 and unmarried and he took off.i found a wonderful man when my son wa only a year.we got married and had another son my husband raised my oler son as his,unfortunately my husband died in a horrific car accident in 2005 leaving me with 2 young sons.people dont relize the situations and look down on me for being a single mom.its the men that have a hard time dealing with the kids from a previous relationship they feel the kids get in the way!they dont relize its a package deal and that just maybe the women finds that being tossed back in the dating pool is hard enough | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 9/14/2007 6:52:53 AM | | so single parents cant handle the truth? the truth of the matter is i did not choose to become single GOD did that for me! i hold a full time job plus raise 2 children on my own with NO welfare involved . i struggle to get through every day my kids miss their dad and so do i!we had a good life and it was ripped out from underneath us.narrow minde people like you are a nuisance | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 9/16/2007 9:40:24 PM | | One rason could be as a society we no longer value family like we used to and no longer value it the way we should. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 9/16/2007 10:57:40 PM | LMAO do you really want to go there?
Hmmm lol (you just asked the one girl who puts theorys to EVERYTHING... so brace yourself this will be long)
Ok so i'm 19, i had my son when i was 18, 2 1/2 months ago. the father i dated 3 years ago, we remained friends. Things ended up happening last September, and 7 weeks later i found out i was pregnant. I was scared, because i was in college, had 2 full time jobs, and was volunteering. I KNEW my life was crashing down but my child was my everything. God doesn't make mistakes, so of course i kept him. WELL i told the father, he was concerned with me all of my pregnancy. "dont fall down any stairs" ext. He ended up drinking everynight and getting high. He had apparently always done this but i just never knew. we weren't dating, seeing eachother or anything, but when we hung out.. he was showing signs of anxiety and he didn't care anymore. Hes now a deadbeat. I had to trick him to see his son. THATS how horrible this kid is. He doesn't pay child support, found out he has a 6 year old (and hes 21) and backed child support for him, and has NO JOB. so i'm a single parent without any help. BUT its all good. Its one more thing that will make me stronger in the long run.
BASICALLY i think i'm a single mom because guys in high school or guys in highschool mode (no responsibilites) are jerks. no joke, most of them are.
thats why theres so many single moms.
because of guys named Trevor lol. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 9/17/2007 5:45:23 AM | Yes there are som people that give up easily at making a relationship work,but thats the case with parents or non-parents.
Unfortunetly someone can turn out to be the total opposite of what you thought they were,and this realisation can occur one month into a relationship,one year or even 30.Maybe this is why there are so many single parents!!!
I didnt have children because i grew tired of my barbie's,wanted a nice new accessory or thought it was a good idea at the time.I had children because their father was the person i thought and hoped to spend the rest of my life with,and i thought would make the most fantastic father.
Unfortunetly,like many single parents,i was wrong and thus ended the relationship rather than stay in a situation that wasnt healthy for me or my kids. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 9/17/2007 5:49:34 AM | Absolutely well said and summed up.
And if you men are quick enough to generalise single mother's and put us into the same box,maybe us single mum's should start generalising you chaps and rant that the majority of us are only single because of you men being useless,lying and irresponsible...Not fair and just not nice is it!!! | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 9/17/2007 8:54:53 AM | It may not be fair or nice but really it is a problem for both sexes. As a society we have lost the idea that family is important somewhere along the way and we need to get back to that. Yes some young men (and older men for that matter) run out on responsibilities, the same as some women move on without thinking about their child and the significant other who still wants to be a family.
We all need to get back to simpler times and family values. As well as the idea that a child needs both parents as again some where we lost that attitude and the thinking "The child just nees one good parent" while in some cases where one parent is abusive or a drug addict may well be the case but today it seems to be how some people think, in reality and in most cases a child is better off with 2 parents that love them and each other. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 9/17/2007 10:58:10 AM |
Just follow the money. Women have children for the money. Take away the money like God and nature intended and there will be few single parents.
It truly is sad that anyone would say such a thing. And to say it generalizing ALL women. tsk tsk.
Regardless of how anyone became a single parent (and we all know there as many reasons as there are people on the planet how one has become a single parent) it truly is a shame if anyone has done it for "the money."
Due to the changing roles in a family, which add more stress, and the whole "nuclear family" being defunct, plus individual's disposing of each other like they do their trash.... it's a wonder so many people are single parents.
Does anyone really THINK before getting pregnant? I'm not just talking about the women I'm also referring to the men.
Too bad birth control is a right, and is a choice as to whether it is exercised.
What is sad in the end is that the children in most cases suffer... even in ways you cannot see (mentally and emotionally) because so many people with an ex are vindictive and make it about the money using the children as a scapegoat.
This is just my opinion for why it has occurred that there are so many single parents... well part of my opinion anyway. | |
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| Why the number of single parents ??
Posted: 9/24/2007 10:23:31 AM | | We are witnessing the moral decay of society. That is not the fault of single parents and while thre are many individual cases that are unique as a whole I see both men and women treating relationships as something that is disposable and thinking children will adjust to parents not being together. Yes they will adjust but family values should be encouraged but we are getting away from them for some reason. | |
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