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Posted: 11/3/2006 11:33:16 AM | Nomad,
if I may give you a humble suggestion.....DUDE, you need to totally rewrite your ad. You come off as a depressed person with issues. I'm not being mean, just trying to help you out. I wrote a long list of profile tips in another thread. Maybe someone can link it. You write some great sentences. But each one is followed by a downer.
For example:
"I have a great big heart but I'm not stupid so skip the head games if that's what you're about."
Why not say there: "I have a great big heart". The 2nd part of that sentence is a downer so why write it? NO ONE seeks headgames, so no reason to include that. Your whole ad reads like that. Great opening sentence followed by phrases that give out a complete opposite meaning. I think if you rewrote your ad and kept only the first half of most your sentences it would be a stronger better read.
Also no need to go into past pains, struggles, or issues unless your not over them. And if you're not, you shouldn't be dating but dealing with them. Overcoming obstacles is a plus and should mentioned, but not in deppressing detail. A good sentence may be: "I had a tough time with Katrina and other struggles but overcame all obstacles and look forward to new biginnings."
and leave it at that. If you have to mention issues or the past be sure to end it positively as something that you endured but conquered.
Also don't be negative in the type of girl you seek.(mentioning big butts and stuff). Just list the positivie qualities of who you'd like to meet. Smart, funny, warm, ect. DO NOT list physical features. You exchange pics for that. And yes it is OK to specify that is required. Since you have a few pics posted, you do not need to talk bad about your own features or even type about them at all. You have pics for that. Be sure to have one smiling.(mouth closed if your teeth are not the best, but SMILE!)
Canary: Your ad is too short but not bad. My one suggestion is not to say "I seem to have really bad luck with dating" or "It's been forever since I've been out on a date".
A girl is gonna wonder why.
Under your sentence about dating, Why not elaborate about how an ideal date would go once yall know each other well.
Hope this helps guys.
Stray | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 12:45:53 PM | Stray is absolutely correct. You should always be/read positive. Its hard enough out there when you are postitive, but when you have a lot of negativity in your profile people are going to think your a negative person.
I always say.. Positive = Positive... Negative = Negative. The two will never come together.
Good luck in your search. | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 1:11:22 PM | Basically it looks like the whole site has conformed to the average thought how love and true romance should be. That there is one 'ONE' person out there you can ever truley be happy with. That is a very depressing thought indeed considering there is, from last i heard, 7billion people out there. Lets says half are of the opposite sex so you luck is 1 and 3.5billion and getting harder every day since population growth? Oh and God please let that '1' be able to speak english...
The truth is you have to make some of your romance life happen. Just putting up a profile and expecting someone else to write you back bcs you put ' iam very easy to get along with' doens't work.
I am not the best looking guy but by not going around telling everyone what i might not like about myself at the moment isn't going to work, just by goign and sending emails out to every girl on here that I want to date or 'JUST GET TO KNOW' i have met at least 5-6 people on here. Some very strange and some very cool. If you go into anythign with just 'hunter's' intention that is scary. Get to know people dont always have the intent to build a romantic relationship.
Look at this as a site to meet people not meet 'the 3.5billion'(for the hopeless romantics 'the one'). How much pressure does that put on someone.
All in all I am just saying there is more than One person out there for you and no relationship is going to 1st) found without some work 2nd) going to take some effort to keep together.
__________________________________________________
Other than that please dont put depressing stuff in your profile. In the very least dont put anything if that is all you can put.
Saying my husband or wife ran out left me the kids and a dog makes for either someone to feel pity or write a country song, not feel like wow i want to get to know them.
Tell people what makes you special, and woman are especially bad sometimes at finding out why they are special.
Think at the person looking at ur profile:
What makes me want to talk to u????
^^^^^^^all in all that is all u gotta worry about if u wanna just sit and wait for someone else to talk to u...
And please guys no more...hey lets hang out ' dinner and a movie'...and just sending emails of - so...were u work? | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 1:53:42 PM | | I don't know what's worse. Not finding dates or finding dates and things not work out too well. Oh well, I have met a lot of great people on this site and I can always go to super walmart if things here don't work out. You can always find dates there....lol | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 2:14:00 PM | | Is that little smiley man rollin' back prices on 'em again? | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 2:22:26 PM | | The newspaper said he was. I'm going to have to go check it out for myself though. | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 2:28:45 PM | the pain of going out finding someone you like and doens't work out does suck.
But really you learn to overcome that. Most the time that is all from wanting to be as put before 'the one'..(gags)..
Just go and meet people, dont look at it as i am going on a date to meet 'the one' (gags more violently) | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 3:09:15 PM | Rare_Breed: Been Visiting WalMart have ya? Better visit the Bayer asprin isle and the pillow isle also...That 01-03-93 headache and nightmare might go away....WalMart use to run Blue light specials didn't they? Think I'll go talk to the little green Giant and have some Nanner Puddin.  ...If what the dating demons say is right, there is an unbalanced statistic recorded, 7 women to 1 guy. Now dudes, why can't we get at least 1 to talk to us,is it because the other 6 will get jealous? ..... Great Theory huh? At least it's my story and I"m sticking to it!  | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 4:39:32 PM | hehe iv had a few pops here but dam 2 many nuts out there can we just find a desent person for ones its geting old    | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 5:00:05 PM | Well, hell Mike set up straight ! You're all antigogglin and cantawampus. You make us normal gals, neck hurt ! Ahhh just joshin' ya....no I ain't...yes I am.
Dayum, these voices in my head just won't shut up. | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 5:14:12 PM | I know what im going to do since online dating hasnt been so great for me either
Wal Mart,, pharmacy,,,,in the section they sell douches,,,,
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Posted: 11/3/2006 5:24:09 PM | Straycat....
dont you think its hard to be positive in such a negative environment? I have tried your approach and still got nothing,,, so I became a jerk and guess what,,,, the women are attracted to that,,
I think we all just want to do something that works,,, but logic and common sense doesnt work here, and have tried to understand ,, but as one female member told me,,, dont be so serious,, have fun,, mess around,,, play games,,,
what If you dont want to be that way? | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 5:32:22 PM | but logic and common sense doesnt work here, and have tried to understand ,, but as one female member told me,,, dont be so serious,, have fun,, mess around,,, play games,,,
what If you dont want to be that way?
Oh you look very logical and serious by your picture, wingribman !
Why would someone think you weren't a hoot ! I think you're a hoot. Does that count?
I need to go douche shoppin' wanna go with me? I may need your help.
But really guys, there are more "NO GAMES" and "WANT AN HONEST WOMAN" crap in most of ya'll profiles. Ya'll just harp and harp and harp on what you don't want and seldom really say anything about yourself. I see...uh oh...heart of stone, been duped, sour attitude. CLICK
I wanna read about YOU ! Sometimes I'm just exhausted from grief and angst from reading the down and out ones. GET IT UP FELLERS ! KEEP IT UP ! | |
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Posted: 11/3/2006 6:08:58 PM | Wingman,
I try to be positive no matter what the enviroment. Seems to work for me.
But if having an over the top picture and a hilarious profile works for you then don't let me tell you any different. The key is to find your own style that will work for the type of girl you hope to meet.
I think you have successfully found your own unique style.
And took it a step further to invent your original genre of online persona.
I presume you know what you're doing and so I've never seen the need to offer you any advice. I don't think anything I could say would be useful for the type of girl you're hoping to attract.
So party on Garth.
:-D | |
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Posted: 11/4/2006 12:35:06 PM | Being a jerk isn't want attracts the women it is certain qualities....
being dominat, hard to get, and not worried about saying whats on ur mind..those are attractive qualities...
women tend to think emotionally and guys tend to think logically...
really the reason so many guys suck with women...are bcs they are wussy and needy
being indecisive kills the deal!!!
the whole hollywood preception and most women will tell you how to be get women is usualy the farthest from the truth...
being posistive it just a great way to live...and the way you think can often be infectious...
it can be very difficult but very rewarding.. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2006 2:11:54 PM | Why do I get the feeling that if you put all of the posters of this forum together in one place, everyone would still leave dateless and then start a post about it when they got home. 
I think there should be a "no luck" POF party just to prove my point.
By the way, it does seem that jerks have it better, but I think I will just stay sweet. | |
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Posted: 11/4/2006 2:39:21 PM | I have to admit too I've gotten very picky and it's doubtful I can find someone that meets what I want and can stand me  | |
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Posted: 11/4/2006 3:04:30 PM | Rare_breed,,I have to digress and stay away from the jerky thing here. I think being smart,attentive, and showing respect always wins out...If one should want to be a jerk,then he or she will probably end up with a jerk, or if they do find someone nice,that person being a jerk will soon be alone again, so it's best to be what your mom taught you to be and be a person that is as Rare as your user name....... , You might be right about the POF party!
pliablemoose,I don't think its a matter of being too picky,if your going to have a relationship,but if being picky is what it is then so be it,but I think it's using good judgement,not being picky!.... | |
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Posted: 11/4/2006 4:16:39 PM | | I sincerely believe if every man thought the way TTicker did, this world would be a very nice place. TTicker, you should give manhood lessons ya know, that? | |
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Posted: 11/4/2006 6:12:11 PM | Sunny Texas, I'm not sure if I know the exact words to say a Big Thanks to you or not,but here's thanking you for such kind words and confidence you have in me....I count you as one great friend!
Having words to type on a forum giving our own advice or opinions ranks in a much different category than practical living and living the things we advise others of...Learning much from experience may not be the best way to learn,but using that experience to help others is a great way...Giving advice or passing opinions is what gives all of us a great opportunity to discover how each individual thinks and hopefully each of us that think and type things here lives the same...As one of my POF friends said,we're all in this together or we wouldn't be here... | |
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Posted: 11/4/2006 6:39:15 PM | Well...it's about time somebody told ya how wonderful you are ! But I betcha get woo pitched at you all the time. *BIG GROUP HUG TO ALL US FISHEES*
8:30PM on a Saturday Night...here we are ! I say a big SO WHAT ! Love the one your WITH ! I love my fishee friends.
and no...I ain't drunk. | |
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Posted: 11/5/2006 6:49:16 AM | Question gang,,,
If a person posts a good ad,, sweet,,, truthful, romantic honest and genuine,,, and get no responses and then experiments and does a profile like the one I have and gets responses, as in attracting women,,, does that tell you a little about the quality of women in my area ?
what has gone through my mind is there are no decent women in my area,, just bad women looking for bad men
but why do they say they want the sweet kind,,, loving caring,, etc,, but arent attracted to that but are attracted to the jerk kind?
Jury is still out on that one,,,, | |
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Posted: 11/5/2006 7:32:01 AM | | wingribman: I don't think your a jerk and my reason to believe this is simple. When I first posted on these forums I read several of your messages and I think we had a couple discussions. Those discussions did not indicate to me that your a jerk......Now,to answer your question,I'll respond by asking a quesion..Why don't you widen your search rather than pin yourself in to the local area...Women,are not all alike and not all women wishes to deal with jerks....And If I'm not mistaken aren't you in the Harligen area? If your the guy I have communicated with before this same suggestion was made to you...Get a vision and look beyond your local area...Unless ,of course you want a jerky woman..... | |
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Posted: 11/5/2006 8:33:14 AM | Wingribman, *she says with her sweetest, kindest voice*
"darling, I have noticed that you are really bothered about
this online dating and not getting responces". "I understand,
it is hard sometimes". "In my humble opinion, you need to give
your profile a total re-vamp with new pictures". "Why, you ask,
well.....if I looked at your profile or received a message from you
I would be scared and shocked by your trick-or-treat costumes".
I know from reading forums that lurking underneath is a nice guy, just
like others here in the forums have said. I understand that you became
frustrated and changed your profile to prove a point. It worked but then
again it did not. It is not about quanity of responces, more about getting
responces from potential dates. I would be happy to assist you in re-vamping
your profile. I believe in my heart of hearts that all of us that hang out here
in Texas forum will find somebody. Thats my story, and I am sticking to it! | |
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Posted: 11/12/2006 8:03:06 AM | I didn't even realize how mine sounded until I came back and read this thread, wow, I really need to pull my head out of my...er...well....you get the idea.
Thanks everyone for the suggestions, they were very helpful, it kind of scares me to think how I might be acting outside of this forum now, what if I come across negative and I don't even notice it? I did go through a very sudden and traumatic divorce about 2 years ago, now i'm wondering if I'm still not fully healed from it. Thanks again for y'alls help, looks like I need top pay better attention to these things if I ever expect to meet anyone else, here or otherwise. | |
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