| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/22/2005 4:59:03 AM | | Can an affair stenghten a marriage. NO. The two husbands that cheated are history. They must have wanted out, but were just too anal to talk about it. Had they talked about it, history might have turned out another way. We might still be friends. | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/22/2005 2:27:55 PM | In response to whoever posted that it would strengthen a relationship if the person didn't get caught...
Whoever believes, needs or finds that their relationship is improved by the introduction of sex with an external person, has a truly f*cked up view of marriage. | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/22/2005 3:39:54 PM | | No affair will I tolerate. Personally, it's highly unlikely that my wife would cheat on me, nor I on her. I've been lucky to have a fine woman I don't really deserve. I appreciate her as well as deeply love her. So the question is purely hypothetical in my case. But neither of us would tolerate a cheat. She would leave me in a heartbeat, and I could never do such a thing to my wife. If she left me for another, I can't say I'd blame her much, but it would be very hard to take. I trust and wholly believe in my lady, and she can trust me as well. I wish you all such deep sincerity, love, and trust in your lives. | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/22/2005 5:09:58 PM | Any tragedy/argument/horrible-thing can lead to a strengthening of a marriage...if the two people involved wake up and act appropriately.
It takes two to tango though. | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/22/2005 5:45:28 PM | | Music, I disagree. I think that's a fairy/old wives' tale that horrible, horrendous things strengthen anything. I think it works quite the other way: if the couple makes it thru horrible, stressful things, it's because they already had one kickass relationship to begin with, and something of that kickass relationship survived the crap. Those relationships are definitely the exception. There are even some studies done that can be used to illustrate. For example, the loss of a child. Studies have shown that couples losing a child will remain together temporarily in a seeming closeness, but ultimately it leads to the breakup of the couple. What is most amazing about a couple being able to endure really horrible, shitty things, is that if they can manage to stay together, it's worthy of making a movie about it because it's highly unusual. Sharing a lot of crap is not a good thing for anybody, as it takes a huge toll on beauty, health, finances, love, memories, and the mental condition of the couple. | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/22/2005 5:54:20 PM | | Sari, I guess I wasn't clear. I was trying to say the same thing. That it doesn't matter what happens...the question of whether or not the relationship will survive or fail depends on the kind of relationship and the kind of people involved. | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 4:27:57 PM | | Thank you, sarita. Hmm, maybe it's my wife who deserves most of the credit for puttin up with a sorry old grouch like me. hehe. But cheat I've never done. | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 6:14:35 PM | Im sorry I only read the initial post, so if the topic has changed, I apologize...
But in response to the original post... An affair isnt typically a "wake-up" call, nor does it say your relationship is in "deep trouble". What an affair says is that the relationship is over!!
I mean think about it. Your in a relationship with someone, opening up yourself and trying to grow into a couple and become one... then they go and have sex with another partner. Intimacy is gone, voided based on the last transaction. Trust will ALWAYS be questioned. Previous words of "love and devotion" will constantly ring hallow deep inside the heart that believed it was all a "real" relationship.
I dont see any good side to an affair.
JMO | |
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tlm66
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Joined: 10/5/2004
Msg: 37 | |
| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 6:18:05 PM | It amazes me again. I have been married 3 times, all 3 women cheated, I did not leave one of them, you know why. The vows you took said till death do you part. For many of you it should have said till divorce do we part. I got custody of and raised 2 little girls from ages 2 and 7. Look under intimate encounter on this site even, look at all the women wanting sex outside the marriage, it is not just men. The rule book is there but nobody reads all of the directions. If they do read the recipe for their sin and don't like the temperature, they just change it around to suit their needs. SO, CAN CHEATING STRENGTHEN A MARRIAGE, ASK SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE AND STILL TOGETHER AFTER MANY YEARS... | |
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tlm66
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Joined: 10/5/2004
Msg: 39 | |
| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 6:25:36 PM | | I AM NOT GOING TO PREACH TO YOU EVEN THOUGH SOME OF YOU COULD USE THE TRUTH...The bible says exactly what the end of the world is going to be like, wars against all nations, families hating and turning on each other, adultry, homosexuality, liars, thieves, volcanos, earthquakes, and more. Have you watched the news and seen the newest earthquakes popping up where scientist said they never feared to have one? How about 911, was that an accident? The tsunami? The last time the Lord got mad remember what was taking place, a false God was made and an orgy was taking place... False Gods are being made daily, (money, sex, nice homes, nice cars), we worship them more than we do Him. When did aids appear and why now? Could it be because nobody believed the writings in the book. Preachers getting richer, sleeping with the women of the congrgation, hell sleeping with little boys if you are Catholic, Church members turningtheir backs because Preachers tll them too. It is almost funny when you hear people say, "Why is this happening to me"? | |
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tlm66
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Joined: 10/5/2004
Msg: 40 | |
| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 6:28:06 PM | | OH TAGONE, I get it, you are not allowed to give your opinion on here, because that is exactly what it is, NOT RELIGION, it is my opinion. I served as a Marine to give me this right and I will be d*mned if somebody like you can take it away. | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 6:29:33 PM | now that WAS funny. got a good laugh if nothing else. 
And why is it that guys like you ALWAYS bring up how you "fought fer me".
Where the hell do you think I was in the early seventies???? You are not the only vet in the country, you self rightious jerk.
And on thread, no, an affair will not strengthen a marriage. | |
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tlm66
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Joined: 10/5/2004
Msg: 44 | |
| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 7:13:51 PM | On topic of him being a vet, I doubt it. No self repecting vet would down another as he does. I fought in the Marines, served 10 years a s firefighter/paramedic, and then as a cop. What do I get for it, pitiful people like TAGONE who cannot never say thanks to anyone.
A true marriage strengthens itself through all trials and tribulations. A marriage is doomed from the start if you do not mean your vows. Stand by your man, stand by your woman. If this happens they are sick. Sickness can be cured. I truly believ one other thing, LOVE cures all things, good and bad. A famous person once said, (since we don't want to offend TAGONE), as he was asked how much do you love me, he outstretched his arms as he died for you.
I fought for the right to voice my opinion, nobody including TAGONE can take that away from me unless you kill me, even then I made a statement with my death. Tell me, would you rather have TAGONE and those like him there when you need help, or someone like me who won't back down. | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 7:28:30 PM | okay... lets look at this.
you say
A true marriage strengthens itself through all trials and tribulations
and then you say
A marriage is doomed from the start if you do not mean your vows.
It seems to me that those statements, in the context of this discussion, are completely contradictory.
If you make vows and stand by them, then the "trial" of an affair need not be withstood.
Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing. I believe in every person having the right. I, too, served in the military of the U.S. and while not ashamed, it was not a shining moment. I am so much more than a vet, although that is part of who I am.
What I can't tolerate is when someone screams his beliefs so loudly that the voices of others cannot be heard. Some profiles point out the intolerance they harbor for anyone who disagrees with them. That attitude spills over into these forums.
So when someone flames me with email, I take into consideration the ignorance of the sender. | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 7:29:22 PM | "I fought for the right to voice my opinion, nobody including TAGONE can take that away from me unless you kill me, even then I made a statement with my death. Tell me, would you rather have TAGONE and those like him there when you need help, or someone like me who won't back down."
......i would rather have tagone there when i need his help then you anyday. he doesnt beat me over the head with his religion everytime he says a sentence. this thread had nothing at all to do with religion. its about a marriage. yes i understand that some people keep religion in thier marriage. BUT all of us arent of the same religion.
also you do not know whether tagone is or isnt a vet. and to question whether he is or isn't ...in Your Own Words...."No self repecting vet would down another as he does" | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 8:29:44 PM | Give anybody a badge and they think they are GOD.......Your right baby...I so would rather have Tagone on my side.........
Just because you were a cop doesnt mean you deserve more respect than me......Im a f-ukin attorney who puts bad f-ukin cops in jail for attitudes like that..........Give em a badge and they try and f-uk ya anyway they can.....P-iss on it......... | |
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| Can an affair strenghten a marriage
Posted: 3/23/2005 8:38:00 PM | Sorry ...........(In a way).................
That un-known b-itch came out......Dont know what happened......... | |
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