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| Stupid things we do.
Posted: 11/19/2006 12:00:54 PM |
The thing is, though, that I'm not going to go out of my way to do romantic gestures unless I'm in a "serious" relationship and I really don't think that will happen.
Thing is Swiftone, you've already decided how you're going to be - does that leave room for spontaneity? Romance is like a dance; you have to "tune in" to your partner and then go with your gut. You sound like you need to heal from past experiences... and you are far from being alone! | |
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| Stupid things we do.
Posted: 11/19/2006 1:12:19 PM | natscha:
Thing is Swiftone, you've already decided how you're going to be - does that leave room for spontaneity? Romance is like a dance; you have to "tune in" to your partner and then go with your gut. You sound like you need to heal from past experiences... and you are far from being alone!
As a matter of fact, natscha, I, I have decided how I'm going to be and that is really a huge thing. I spent WAY too much time, too many years believing that if I try to do the nice things, the things I heard women saying they wanted, what my mother told me women like, taking advice from female friends, "being myself", I would find the love of my life. What I got in return was a lot of heart-ache.
I appreciate your advice. It's not even about healing any more. It's all about doing what I want to do, what I feel like doing. See, I've been accused of hating women, of not liking women, but those accusations are just not true. I like women. I like/love so many things about women. I have loved many women. Someday, maybe, I will love another woman.... but it's about just not trusting the choices I make when it comes to women.
The heart and the head just don't see eye to eye.... so, as I said, I do what pleases me.
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mybad
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Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 103 | |
| Stupid things we do.
Posted: 11/19/2006 2:58:34 PM | Oh my God Swiftone: We are experiencing a matrix effect right now cause ur in some other dimension. I can only speak from personal experience: First date stuff: Blind date: not a good idea for the flowers or whatever, but if you know her and have met her and ur both interested, how sweet. I would put them in water in front of you and give you a hug or kiss.
I have actually been given deer meat, fish and duck also and was very thankful.
Jewlery, not a good idea I don't think unless it is a relationship that is progressing. But wow, I am a very educated woman who has been working in along side of men in what used to be a man's profession. But I maintain my feminity as well as my desire for romance. Love a gentleman's gesture. Now ur getting me to question women nowadays.
By all means thank goodness you don't make it all about her. I have said this in another post: makes me feel like I am on the chopping block when a guy wants to know all about me but won't open up about himself. I feel like he is chicken. And that I am being put throught the grand test.
But, chivalry is NOT dead.
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| Stupid things we do.
Posted: 11/19/2006 3:14:49 PM | mybad:
Oh my God Swiftone: We are experiencing a matrix effect right now cause ur in some other dimension. I can only speak from personal experience: First date stuff: Blind date: not a good idea for the flowers or whatever, but if you know her and have met her and ur both interested, how sweet. I would put them in water in front of you and give you a hug or kiss.
You are right... first dates, bad. Blind dates, bad. That's why I'll never take a woman's advice on what to do on a date again. Those are the goofy things that my mom or other women told me to do... dumb, dumb, dumb...
But even after you've been out with a woman on more than one occasion, it's still a crap shoot. Even if you're living with someone, it's a crap shoot. Ask any guy. We all (ok 99.99% of us) break out in a cold sweat when we're supposed to get someone something for a birthday or special occasion.
And again, it's not like ALL women don't appreciate these things. Many do I'm sure, and it's not like I haven't had positive responses from women. It's just that, like I mentioned, it's a crap shoot and the target moves constantly.
And, as I've also mentioned, it may well be my poor choice in women, though I really don't think I choose a particular TYPE or woman.
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mybad
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Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 105 | |
| Stupid things we do.
Posted: 11/19/2006 3:23:46 PM | Swiftone:
Crap shoot....LOL
Men know where they stand with me. And they would know beforehand how special they are and that I am very accepting of nice gestures. It wouldn't be a guessing game for me. And if they wanted to know what to get me for christmas, I have always been very clear about that. In my experience, they know it by knowing me.
I tend to be semi non-traditional and I like tools. Chainsaws, staple guns, rachet and socket sets, but a lot of other things, solar lights, etc. and I like dresses and shoes and a lot of things feminine too. Most times I just said what I wanted for my birthday or christmas. I have friends like this too. They don't keep their boyfriends or husbands guessing.
If it has to be a crap shoot then maybe there's too little communication......I don't know. Never knew this was going on so much. | |
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