| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 10/15/2006 8:26:48 AM | What I'd like to know is how many of you guys that are saying that i should drag him out were actually in a situation like mine. Did you get into a bar fight?
I haven't been in a fight since highschool.
A couple of months ago, I could have got into a fight. These three guys were sitting at the same set of tables. The one that was sitting across and to my left from me was being a drunk and belligerant ***hole. I was bugging him back in subtle ways and I could tell I was getting under his skin. His friend who was sitting just on my left moved his chair and was in my space. It was quite loud in the bar so I leaned over and asked him politely to move his chair up. He did, no problem. The belligerant guy yelled out that I was gay and I was trying to kiss him. I said, "No, he's way to cute for me." The other friend was sitting across from me. He saw my joke for what it was and said, "Hey man, don't sell yourself short!" I said, "Somehow, I just don't think it'd work between us," to the guy sitting across from me.
The belligerant says to the guy on my left, "Are you gonna take that?", so the guy on my left says to me, "What if I told you, You have five seconds to take that back." I said, "Take what back?" He told me to apologize for calling him gay and trying to kiss him. I said, "Did I try to kiss you or did I ask you to move over? Did I call you gay or did your friend call ME gay? Don't let that ***hole push your buttons." I ended up shaking his hand and it was all good. Belliegerant guy was just poleaxed and suggested that he and his friends leave shortly after. Good riddance.
My point here is that I don't have to get into a fight. I'm not spoiling for one. I won't back down if one comes to me. This one I won without using my fists. I'm really proud how I handled that one.
To actually drag some drunk guy out of the bar to kick his ass... I suppose I could have physically done it. I know a few tricks. That's not the solution I'm looking for.
Last night I gave my heavy bag a good work over for about 1/2 hour. I punched until I was too winded to punch anymore. I have my aggression worked out now.
What I'd really like to know is how someone that was in my position... How did you handle it? Did you drag the guy out? Pop him on the spot? What? Did you push him away? Talk to the management? | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 10/15/2006 12:02:16 PM | Hasn't been a situation like that for me for awhile. Whenever it has happened it was because I had a good looking woman in my company, sometimes just a friend, sometimes a date. Then the idiots come out thinking that they'll impress her with their ape shit or they try to intimidate you into leaving without her.
Basically my rule is until you touch me or get within arms length, you can yak at me all you want. It's pretty easy to outwit and stare down a drunken idiot. In the couple times or so this happened to me they have always backed down. If he's rallying up his buddies and it looks like I'm going to have to fight his whole gang, I usually just leave (with company in tow). I've been in enough fights to know that my duty is to the people I'm with not to some misguided sense of "honor". That's kid stuff. And do you want to run the risk that your lady is going to have to carry your ass and fend off the wolves if you lose. If she expects you to fight over her for nothing or goes around starting shit, she's not good dating material. This has worked for me 100 percent of the time so far. Sticks and stones dude.
If he's disrespecting your date however or won't back down I've observed that a good lightening fast smack or a open palm shove right to the mouth will usually shut them up. That's why I don't let anyone within 3 feet of me if I don't trust them. I also know by experience and observation that the faster you take out the loudmouth leader, the less likely you are to fight all his friends. Or just put your dukes up and call him on. I had some rough teenage years.
I guess my point is, I don't resort to violence unless I have no other choice. You don't know who in the bar might be sympathetic toward the other guy. They might think that you are the one who started all the shit and make a complaint to the police as such. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 10/15/2006 12:07:40 PM | Blast that idiot! last night i caught my girlfriend...well ex-girfriend i should say in the bathroom together with the door shut! they had been drinking and he saifd he was cleaning up her puke. i had been drinking too but wasn't going to fall for this bull. i went outside and he followed me apparently because he felt guilty and instead of talking about it he wanted to get violent with me. i blasted that punk right in the throat. we fought for awhile and he pinned me down cause hes bigger than i am but trust me his face don't show it after i was done. As for her she can find another fool too lie to. i have no problem meeting girls on here and plan to continue my quest for a faithful woman who doesnt give in to drunken punks who think it's my job to get them a date.  | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 10/15/2006 12:59:26 PM | | Well, I always advise agaisnt fighting in the bar, cause you never know when one of his friends has a chair behind you. That said, even if you don't fight, dragging someone out of a bar can be a significant emotional event for them, the kind that may change their attitude. If you effectively bounce him without the tar beating, that gets a message across. Problem is, once you start dragging someone, most people start fighting back or feel they need to fight when they get outside. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 10/15/2006 5:56:39 PM | Thanks for the constructive feedback, danp.
Short fuse... I ask the guy nicely once, more firmly the second time, and then I violated his space by tapping his nose lightly in an attempt to just get him to get off my shoulder. He threatens me. I did not hit him.
What I'm looking for is a nonviolent way to solve this problem if it happens again. I'd like to solve it myself without calling management into it although speaking to them in the first place seems to be the only solution I can come up with without being violent.
If you have a suggestion rather than random flames, Danboy, I'd rather read that. Your negativity says alot. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/8/2006 8:56:53 AM |
What I'd like to know is how many of you guys that are saying that i should drag him out were actually in a situation like mine. Did you get into a bar fight? If its a bar you go to frequently the other patrons will be able to identify you to the police. Just remember that. His aquaintances will also lie.
The guy sounds like he's as sweet for you as he is for your wife. Normally drunks only pick on people shorter than themselves. There has to be some reason he is focusing on you. I dunno. You could tell the drunk that the girlfriend of the biggest bad ass in the bar said she wanted the drunk's telephone number. If someone breaks his nose he will probably stop bothering people for a few months, or even longer. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/8/2006 10:44:27 AM | Say - "Bro, you are really obnoxious when you get this hammered.....do I need to call the cops to have you removed & spoil your favorite drinking spot?"
Place cell phone in front of you.
Say - "Your choice!" | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/8/2006 1:20:59 PM |
Say - "Bro, you are really obnoxious when you get this hammered.....do I need to call the cops to have you removed & spoil your favorite drinking spot?"
Place cell phone in front of you.
Say - "Your choice!" Confronting a drunk idiot is just going to escalate the situation. A drunk is not going to rationally weigh the consequences of his actions. I've never seen that before. 50/50 chance if he is really hammered and pissed off that he'll throw that cell phone across the room. Police also don't appreciate being summoned to situations like that and they tend to show up well after a fight starts, not before.
If you know that guy frequents the bar, why do you even go there? There's not another establishment you can hang out at? There is going to be an idiot like this at most bars. The OP needs to understand what it is that is arrousing this fools attention and how to either diffuse the situation or trick this person into wearing out his welcome at the establishment. Hell, for a round of drinks you could probably get a couple of guys to scare the sh it out of him. Its a lot better than being charged with assault.
A real good way to send this fool on his way is to have someone convince the drunk that the bouncer's girlfriend asked for the drunks telephone number but was too shy to ask for it. When he starts harassing the wrong woman he will be the one that will be finding another establishment to hang out at, if he is lucky. It would be best if that didn't lead back to you. If someone convinced the drunk that the bouncer called him a pussy and that he must defend his honor this would also be favorable.
And police DO tend to come to the rescue of women. Directing him toward a chick who will sick a mob on him is always better than assaulting him yourself and catching a charge. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/8/2006 3:30:34 PM | Obviously, the drunk is the problem, but I believe people who enjoy going to bars should learn some people skills, and that includes how to deal effectively with drunks of all kinds.
I've worked in bars on occasion doing security and disk jockey work. The overly friendly drunk is the least worrysome to me. They can be easily deterred if you don't give them reason to feel offended. Don't try to make them feel like they're less than you. Just laugh at them and politely ask for some respect if you feel they're stepping on your toes. 99 times out of 100, they apologize and walk away.
I know how hard it can be to keep your cool all the time in these situations. I'm guilty of the occasional lapse in judgement in dealing with drunks as well, but for the most part, diplomacy is the best technique. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/8/2006 11:28:11 PM |
The overly friendly drunk is the least worrysome to me. Ah, but that is not what we are talking about. This situation escalated from the overly friendly drunk to the antagonistic prick drunk.
Just laugh at them and politely ask for some respect if you feel they're stepping on your toes. 99 times out of 100, they apologize and walk away. That only really works if the person being annoyed is somewhat intimidating looking, like you. You are right though. He should try that. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/9/2006 1:10:02 AM | I agree with the previous suggestion of notifying the bar owner or bartender that the guy is obviously wasted and the bar could get in a lot of trouble for continuing to serve him in that condition. If they persist, it's their fault and you can call the cops to report the BAR for not refusing to serve a guy who's clearly wasted.
....or isn't there some mean bar trick involving a squirt of Visine in his beer? I've heard that will keep him occupied in the bathroom for most of the night then you won't have to scare the crap out of him -- the Visine will see to that.  | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/9/2006 7:15:30 AM | Majestic.....I suppose I have gotten used to the common expectation that the more sober patron should maintain the responsibility of keeping order in a situation like this. Most of us have been drunk enough at one point or another to have made a few poor decisions of our own. However, if this guy is a constant problem, the bar knows about this and should be willing to do something about it. There's a few at the bar I frequent most and the bartenders just tell them "quit being a d!ck" and they stop.
I worry more about the ones that grow beer muscles and think it's OK to hit on married or involved women even after being told it's not. Haha....I've had that happen myself, once upon a time, and was one of the few times I made a poor decision. So, I know how difficult it is to remain calm in situations involving your wife or girlfriend. However, drunks like the guy the OP is describing aren't typically hard to deal with.
Just my take on it.
Oh yeah.....Don't get caught dropping anything in anyone's drink. It's funny in the movies, but it can result in serious implications for the victim and several years of solitude for the assailant.
Not worth it. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/9/2006 8:52:08 AM | you should go to the bar, get as drunk as he is, and then talk out your problems..WITH YOUR FISTS...LIKE MEN
Nah...I'm a wuss and rather put the risk on the establishment and the problem maker. I've worked too hard in life to throw it away on a nobody. If I got into a fight with every drunken a-hole in a bar, I’d be a busy man.
Next time your waitress comes by just let her know you want the manager out at your table pronto. Don't need to be rude to her, she probably knows who the guy is and she has to work around the a-hole.
BRIEFLY, but firmly let the manager know that this guy is harassing you and your date and the two of you are trying to have a good time. Now it's the establishment's problem. Let them fix it.
If the manager blows you off with a B.S. excuse or doesn't correct the matter or does something to make it right then he's a sh!*y manager.
Keep going to the bar. I agree that you shouldn't run from your problems. You just need to learn how to deal with them.
If the bar-pet starts causing crap again, then leave and call the police. Leave your contact info with the Police Dispatcher and let them know that you just left, but would like to follow up on the matter.
When the police show up they don't say "John Smith called us and tattled on the drunk"
They usually walk in, it will get real quiet they'll say "We got a complaint" and everything pretty much goes on hold till someone with some say at the bar runs out to kiss their butt and make them go away.
Repeat till the problem is solved or the bar-pet decides to play a$$hole with the Police. The bar owner eventually has to decide if he's going to enjoy the police's company every time the bar-pet wants to get friendly.
I understand the urge to want to reach over and stab drunken a-hole in the eye with a spoon and kick his kneecaps in backwards while he's groveling in pain. That's not your job when you take a woman out for a good time. Actually, it's never your job
However:
It is the job of the establishment’s manager to ensure an atmosphere where people want to do business. It is the job of the police to serve, protect and ensure order.
It’s your problem, but let the people who get paid for it, do the dirty work. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/9/2006 9:29:58 AM | | Why not go somewhere else? Give the owner/manager your phone number, and tell them that you're going to stop providing them with your business if that guy remains a customer. Sounds like a small town, where you're "forced" to keep going back to the same place, despite this moron, but there's got to be somewhere else to go. And make sure to tell your friends where your new hangout is, so they can come join you. Once enough people stop attending this bar because of the drunken lout, management will do something about it, and you'll be able to return in peace, without having to get into a fight or doing anything else that could get you in trouble. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/9/2006 3:10:32 PM |
Why not go somewhere else? Overlooking the fact that this question has already been asked and answered a few times...
Do you leave every establishment where an idiot starts harassing you? I don't. Your only going to run into another idiot.
The OP is going to have to figure out what it is about himself that makes him seem like an easy target for this drunk's frustrations. Why is his idiot seeing him as the omega wolf? | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/9/2006 8:36:11 PM | People need to learn their limits with alcohol and bars should keep tabs on their regulars as to how much they drink. Being a young guy and someone who likes to get stupid once and a while and drink a fair amount, however I never exceed 12 beers over the course of about 4 or 5 hours at the bar. For one because I am silly enough after that amount that I know I should stop cause I start feeling like crap and I never get pressured to drink more than I want thankfully, and even after 12 beers my logic is still kicking. I am a friendly drunk though, yet I am not always nice when I am sober, its weird.
There have been many times in my teenage years that I got into situations where I just wanted to pound the living crap out of some people, but for one I can take peoples abuses and just ignore their stupidity. I used to study martial arts so I also knew that using the things I know on other people was against my training and that violence was wrong. After a while I said screw that and wailed on a few people because I was sick of the abuse I took. For about 8 years in public school and the first year of highschool some people picked on me for no reason and on the odd occasion when people started getting in my face, I just thumped them one for it. I wasnt always going to stand there and take peoples crap when they are verbally harassing me. I would up getting suspended on the last day of the 8th grade for getting into a fight just before lunch for pouncing on a guy and wailing on him before the teacher grabbed me. Made his face bleed rather good. Since then though, if people give me a hard time, I just let it roll off, unless they are asking for trouble. | |
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| What to do when a drunk guy gets in your face?
Posted: 11/9/2006 10:18:48 PM | Oh by the way, did I mention the fact that drinking LOTS OF BEER makes you lose your inhibitions. Even I get pissed off at that clown who's hammered when I am totally sober (which is a rare occurence)...but nevertheless...DUDE, you should just get hammered at the bar and make friends with this guy. You're obviously in a small town and don't have a lot of options when going out on the town so get hammered! Go and talk to this drunk when your drunk and if he STILL bothers you THAT MUCH then give him a friendly knock on his front door.
Oh yeah PS, he probably wants your woman too | |
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