Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What does "my children come first" mean to you?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
What does my children come first mean to you?Page 10 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
If your kids are not more important than me I will lose respect for you.

When you are having these crisis's have you invited him to be there with you, let him support you emotionally? let him be a part of your life?
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 227
view profile
History
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:09:34 PM

What does my children come first mean to you?

It means you will likely be single until they move out...
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 228
view profile
History
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/18/2011 1:48:39 PM
It means that you'll be playing second fiddle.

I don't think I could get involved with a man who has kids. I don't want any of my own (am getting my tubes dealt with in february) and I feel that a man who has kids probably still has contact with his ex which complicates the situation depending on their friendship or lack thereof. If she is a crazy ****, that's just too much drama. If they still hang out for the benefit of the kids (holidays, birthdays etc), that's just not something I really would want to deal with. Too weird for me.

I like a clean slate, and to be the priority in my mate's life, as he would be mine.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 229
view profile
History
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/18/2011 4:22:21 PM
Hey - I'm older than dirt and there are men my age with 6 and 7 year old kids. There's no way in Hell I'd get involved with that. My years of "I can't see you tonight because I'm helping junior with his homework" or "I can't go out tonight because I don't have a sitter" are done - and have been for a long time. I don't care to re-live that all over again at 52 years old. I'd expect to do it at 35, but not my age.

Anytime I see that ridiculous, overused cliche, "my children come first," in a guy's profile, I hit the back button so fast it isn't even funny.
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 230
view profile
History
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/21/2011 1:44:01 PM

My question is....why is this so hard for a man to accept?


It isn’t. Many guys would be willing to be your every-other-weekend-man if you were willing to accept the fact that were 12 other evenings which had to occupied every fortnight.

What's so hard to understand about that?
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 231
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/21/2011 2:03:29 PM
Of course a parent's children should come first BUT it's been my experience that the type of woman to write this has translated to :

Be warned : my kids take up most of my time so be content to have only the crumbs .
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 232
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/21/2011 2:32:05 PM
I would guess that they prioritise their childrens well-being over other things?
I know i do. I put my children first. Their well-being is my priority.
I dont really WANT to get up at 7 am, but i do because i have to drive my children to school, thus putting them first, if thats a good enough
example.
And amazingly enough i have been married to a wonderful man, had great times dating some great men, and have a wonderful boyfriend, whom i do make time for and is a very important person in my life and just like my children, is a priority in my life.

When i hear of people not putting their children first i think of badbreeders.com.
If you want someone with kids, but that does not put them first, plenty of pickins over there!
 _Iconoclast_
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 233
view profile
History
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/21/2011 4:34:15 PM
What does my children come first mean to you?


It means I wouldn't dream of distracting you from them for even one second.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 234
view profile
History
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/21/2011 7:01:27 PM

It means I wouldn't dream of distracting you from them for even one second.

Good one.

What it means is if you go on a date, he/she will be phoning or texting the babysitter every 15 minutes, just in case there's an "emergency" and the time spent with you is just time filler. If the date finds out that Bratley sneezed, the date will immediately end and the parent will rush home to take Bratley to emergency at the hospital, leaving you wondering and thinking "what the hell was that?" Too many breeders are totally paranoid about possible emergencies and are totally consumed from the fear. They become placenta-brained.
 pirateheaven
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 235
view profile
History
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/21/2011 7:25:16 PM

What does my children come first mean to you?


It means you are in dead last place right behind the family dog andf there ain't no love or loving leftover for your sorry a$$!
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 1/4/2011
Msg: 236
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/21/2011 7:34:29 PM
^^^ Pretty much to me it means Im not ready for a relationship and all you'll be is a baby sitter, house keeper, and FWB~ thats why I dont date guys with kids at home.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 237
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/21/2011 7:45:52 PM

my children come first


This is acceptable up to the point where 2 people become a live-in relationship. At this point, the partner should come first. If the your partner doesnt understand or respect what children "need" in terms of parenting, you shouldnt get involved with them to begin with. However, it is in appropriate for an adult to side with the kids, prioritize them to the point of alienating their partner and not consult their partner when making plans concerning the kids. The 2 adults need to be on the same page in how they should manage the household.

Kids are very good at manipulating their parents, and single parents can be consumed with guilt and all the more vulnerable. If he/she cant put the relationship first and include the partner in the decision making when in a committed partnership, it will never work.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 238
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 1/21/2011 7:53:28 PM

What it means is if you go on a date, he/she will be phoning or texting the babysitter every 15 minutes, just in case there's an "emergency" and the time spent with you is just time filler. If the date finds out that Bratley sneezed, the date will immediately end and the parent will rush home to take Bratley to emergency at the hospital, leaving you wondering and thinking "what the hell was that?" Too many breeders are totally paranoid about possible emergencies and are totally consumed from the fear. They become placenta-brained


When i dated, i never had to leave early for a kid emergency.

However, my husband had to consantly leave early and cancel dates because of his career and business.

He did not have a child.

I did.

Try dating a police sargeant and limo service owner.

He is not the only on either, most men i have met have have important jobs and were on call at any given time.
 teuton_7
Joined: 11/18/2011
Msg: 239
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 3:37:42 PM
It had become a total nightmare to read always the same phrase; My children come always first. What are those women / mothers thinking? Are they really that far from reality??? What do they want? A man or a doormat? See, here's the thing. They also claim they want a "real" man. But those women are completely clueless what a real man is. No man should ever put in the position to bow down to children. Do women even understand how difficult it is in the first place to raise another mans children? It's against our nature. It had become a sad norm that women glorify and usually spoil their children rotten. And any man coming in their lives have to suffer emotionally under it. I just hope that one day man turn back into man and refuse to be treated like this. So my word to my fellow man is, don't write to any woman who states her children come always first. Let them stay alone till kingdom come and marry their children.

I'm a single dad. I love my daughter and always will be there for her. But she will never be before my woman. This is our nature and it's also Gods way.

Of course I will get lot's of heat for this now from all the obsessive single mothers.
 droidfanatic
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 240
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 3:58:06 PM
For me, dating a girl with a dog/dogs is far worse than dating a gal with children.
 Truth2882
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 241
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 4:59:17 PM
Ive dated women with kids. I really dont want to go down that road anymore unless its the right situation.
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 242
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 5:59:46 PM

It had become a total nightmare to read always the same phrase; My children come always first. What are those women / mothers thinking? Are they really that far from reality??? What do they want? A man or a doormat?


Yeah, sometimes I see disaster written all over this dating situation if she makes a statement like that. It probably means, "My kids are brats, so if they destroy your personal property and you yell at them.....take a hike bud! My kids come first!"
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 243
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 6:03:38 PM

Hey - I'm older than dirt


Hardly.....you're a goddess. :)
 Harmonyangel
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 244
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 6:05:21 PM
It's been nearly six years since the original post. I'd be interested to know, if she's still around, how it all worked out dating wise!
 amalefriend
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 245
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 6:11:32 PM
I don't know why parents need to spell this out to a potential date "my children come first." Most people wouldn't expect you to neglect your children to date. It's a given but you don't have to rub it in. I find that line to be tired and offensive. I just push the "next" button when I read that in someone's profile. I think you should get counselling so that you can learn to act on something other than your guilt.
 purfectmeow
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 246
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 6:11:41 PM
What does it mean to me? They are not going to get a date; the end.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 247
view profile
History
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 7:38:23 PM
It means the parent will invite you over from time to time to watch a DVD movie, but the movie will be a kid's movie-a Barney or Spongebob Squarepants type of movie, that you will see over and over and over with his/her kids. And instead of sharing a bottle of wine or having a beer while watching the movie, you will be having juice or soda pop.

Occasionally you will be going out for dinner with the kids in tow. Fine dining with the kids consists of going to McDonalds and buying them Happy Meals. The parent will never see real food until the kids are older and start hanging out and eating with their buddies.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 248
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/10/2012 8:09:29 PM
"What does my children come first mean to you?"

It means that their (adult) kids are spoiled brats who run Daddy's life, and there's no room for a romantic relationship with a woman, therefore no chance that I am interested in having them compete with me for his time and affection.

If Daddy has children who aren't adults yet, it means I skip his profile, because if I wanted to raise kids I would have had my own and I'm too old to start now. God bless him and help him find the lady who either already has her own young kids or wants somebody else's.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 249
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/11/2012 9:50:09 AM
Complex issue but basically we want attention just like everybody else. Can you honestly say a single mother can provide as much attention as a woman without kids? I think single moms, or dads for that matter, have it the hardest when it comes to initially meeting someone because, yes, your kids do come first and you just don't have as much time as the others to provide attention. I think you just need to find someone that is patient and understands. Men who don't understand are not inherently jerks, they just want more attention then you can offer them.
 jonabella
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 250
What does my children come first mean to you?
Posted: 5/11/2012 5:45:16 PM
men and women have a different kind of love
children have our love and devotion
we are duty bound
love of any kind is not burdened
marriage = mutual partnership
circumstances and commitment meet
where ever love grows~
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What does "my children come first" mean to you?