|
|
|
|
|
| |
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 6/19/2007 2:33:52 PM | Funny, if you look around at other state forums, you'll see the exact same question (reworded, but still the same) being asked everywhere.
I do not need nor want any man to take care of me.
But at my age, unless something really big has gone on recently in his life, I do expect a man to have reached at least a certain level of "success":
A job.
A car that runs.
A place to live that he does not share with his parents.
Having to wait til after nine to call a 48 year-old because he's "watching his minutes" is NOT a big turn-on.
So, does that make me a typical California gold digger? | |
|
| |
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:43:34 PM | Having to wait til after nine to call a 48 year-old because he's "watching his minutes" is NOT a big turn-on.
So, does that make me a typical California gold digger?
LMFAO Yeah that's a good question..
 | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:49:18 PM | Cooky,
IF you want me to, I'll be glad to tell any man that you direct me towards and tell them that you're nothing but a gold digger.......just let me know who you are trying to fend off.
Sincerely,
o4
(did you know you're the only one who gets away with just calling me just "o4"?)
 | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:55:02 PM |
Funny, if you look around at other state forums, you'll see the exact same question (reworded, but still the same) being asked everywhere.
True. But why bother when we have the California forum?
I do not need nor want any man to take care of me.
Oh, my. Now you are going to be branded as an independent woman and all those guys in that other thread will say bad things about you. 
Having to wait til after nine to call a 48 year-old because he's "watching his minutes" is NOT a big turn-on.
Hey! I told you that you could call anytime if you are calling from a Verizon cell phone. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/13/2007 11:52:30 PM | Greetings,
Funny really. I have never really tried tofu or would know what to do with it. As far as gold digging many of the men I meet still live at home with their parents. (and they are over 30) Self centered... makes me wonder where you hang out. I think it is also generational. I think that the younger generation is the me generation.
I have met many very kind and self sacrificing woman. Those who would give and not let you know how much of a dent it was to them but... they knew it was needed and so there was no question.
Maybe I am just older and see that life really is not about me... and that it never was.. or maybe it is because though I have resided in Calif for 20 plus yrs I was raised in the midwest... | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/14/2007 8:47:15 AM |
But at my age, unless something really big has gone on recently in his life, I do expect a man to have reached at least a certain level of "success":
A job.
A car that runs.
A place to live that he does not share with his parents.
Agreed.
I am 30 years old. I have attained in my lifetime:
1) Graduating with two degrees.
2) A stable job. I do not clear $100k a year or anything, but I make enough to pay my bills and not starve.
3) A retirement plan. I have been contributing 5% of my income, which is matched. Now that I have reached my highest pay grade, I will start putting in 10% sometime next year.
4) My own apartment, furnished and decorated by myself. I am not talking milk crates either. I have actual furniture that is only a few years old and not from the 70s.
5) I plan to be 99% debt free by this time next year. That means absolutely no bills to pay other than rent, food, utilities. The only other debt would be my student loan which is a long-term thing.
6) A small nest egg in savings as a back up in case I ever have to go on leave without pay status or if I eventually can afford to buy property, etc.
I do not think it is asking too much that a man my age or older at least have a stable job, a retirement plan, a running car, and his own place. These things are BASICS.
If it makes me a gold-digger to want someone who has the basics, then so be it. But I am not asking for anything more than I myself have.
I am not going to marry someone who thinks living paycheck to paycheck is a good way to live. Sorry, it isn't. I want to retire when I am 55, and I can't do that if I am not contributing to my retirement fund and building savings and/or home equity. I am certainly not going to throw away my goals and dreams for someone who wants to run up a bunch of debt just to buy a $5000 television set. Sorry! | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:33:12 PM | I think I know what was meant when he posted this. I grew up in Sucramento. Moved away when I was 20...........Bay area for 10yrs...then Seattle for 10 and now back here. It's rough here now............ug. Seattle has my vote for best women and people both inside and out and although I have many Familly and friends here in Sac. I think people have lost there way here in Cali.................. trust level is at an all time low. Especially in the dating scene now.......................ridiculous.
just my .02cents. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/15/2007 8:01:37 PM | I'm on the money with your views. However, as a general fact, American women are one of the most spoiled/favored by laws of the land(community property)/use children and sex as a weapon for personal gain/ overweight (over 50% easily) due to the american diet(it's beginning to change somewhat for the better in the last 10 years or so); compared to women from latin/asian/other ethnicities of the world.
California is one of the wealthiest states of this country and generally speaking where there is money, women will be all those things mentioned above and people in general are going to be snobbish/self centered. It's not a haven for men but rather for women. The laws in this state were made by gays to favor the women; All media as well caters to women(over 50%) more than men. A single man, even if he's above avg., would be hard pressed to find an equal in a meaningful, lt relationship; whereas a single woman, even below avg., can easily string several avg. or even above avg. men by catering to their ego.  | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/15/2007 9:05:45 PM | Agent A...."I do not think it is asking too much that a man my age or older at least have a stable job, a retirement plan, a running car, and his own place. These things are BASICS. "
Basics huh? Well I must say you are sooooooooooooooo lucky for what you have attained. With more and more jobs, being OUT SOURCED, the prospects of men over 30 being able to keep their jobs, are becoming few and far between. I had a great job, as General Manager within a construction company.... until they went belly up after 32 years. Had to use all my savings to get another job, and spent all my IRA as well to keep my new (2 yr old truck)...and find another job. and another , and another... as those companies were into making budget cuts during the 90's. Sorry don't have my own place Angi. It is asking alot to expect any man to have what you determine as Basics, because alot of men are struggling to survive in todays market!
Some have gone through divorce, (no matter who is at fault), loss of family through tradjedy, or financial ruin with the stress of carrying the weight of it all.... while losing perspective on what is most important anymore, in this Techno world of Toys, and Image conscious people wanting more and more. I think we are headed down a road which will take decades to recover from... if we cannot keep our self respect for ourselves, and those around us.
We are all looking for someone who can at least match us in our endeavor to live successfully, but is that really worth it, when we continue to search for the piece that we assume will makes us whole.... Real love from another human being instead. IN my opinion there maybe women in Californina, who still cling to their roots, and perfer an honest, loving guy. While those in the midwest seem more loving, while having a smaller requirement list then these CA girls.
Still so many will do just about anything to attain this missing piece, they will lie or fudge on some of the details.... Trusting anyone these days is so essential, while we were raised to believe in people. (Now they are guilty till proven innocent!!!)..... but thanks to Life in todays world it is becoming more rare, then the answer to Cancer, Aids or the pill to lose weight. It is a fact we want what we want.... but what are we willing to compromise on. ??? Myth is mere here say,,,Ah not admisable in court, whether it is the truth or not.
 W1 | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:50:49 PM | I am not going to marry someone who thinks living paycheck to paycheck is a good way to live. Sorry, it isn't. I want to retire when I am 55, and I can't do that if I am not contributing to my retirement fund and building savings and/or home equity. I am certainly not going to throw away my goals and dreams for someone who wants to run up a bunch of debt just to buy a $5000 television set. Sorry!
agentanqi, I understand perfectly what you are saying and the logic you are using in your pre-selection process. However, if I recall correctly, you said you are in your thirties. Seriously, I wish you luck in your pursuit of a husband, but I think the odds are working against you, at this point in time. That's going to be a tough order to fill. I think you may find you will have to compromise on a few points, before things are said and done. Either that, or you will progress toward your retirement years as an independent woman of wealth, but alone. Sometimes that's not a bad thing either. But I think you better start evaluating your options and end desires, because every year that goes by, at this point in time, closes that window of opportunity a little bit more each year. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:52:56 PM |
Seriously, I wish you luck in your pursuit of a husband, but I think the odds are working against you, at this point in time. That's going to be a tough order to fill. I think you may find you will have to compromise..
Based on what? I think your statements are totally ludicrous. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:56:57 PM | Yes, you could say I am very lucky. I prefer to say that I have worked HARD for what I have and luck had nothing to do with it. I am blessed to be where I am and where I am going. I will continue to work hard and strive for things I want in life. I do not expect anyone else to do it for me. I also do not expect to carry someone either.
I am sorry you have had so much personal misfortune. But myself and surely other women can tell the difference between a man who has been met with unfortunate circumstances and one who is a loaf. Just because you are in bad sorts at the moment doesn't mean you always will be. I am sure you are living at home as a temporary measure until you get back on your feet. This is a bit different than a guy who is still living at home because he prefers someone else to pay his own bills.
You can read what you want into my post. I really don't think the venom is warranted nor necessary, but that is your choice. I can only assure you that I am not materialistic or into toys or whatever. I have done for myself and want someone who shares similar values as mine--mainly that you only get out of life what you put into it. People who are consistently putting into it are not sitting at home letting someone else pay their bills or direct their life, they are out there living it. I think it is way off base to assume that because I would like a man who is in a similar frame of mind or path in life I am somehow requiring too much or being unreasonable.
ETA to that other poster:
It's a tough order to fill to not have a ton of debt and live paycheck to paycheck?
Well, no it's not.
I would gladly live the rest of my life alone than live with a person who cannot manage their money and piles on a ton of debt because he wants a $5k television as in my example.
Why is the idea that man be able to manage his money so offensive? Don't most people manage their money? This idea that debt is good and living paycheck to paycheck is good is mind boggling.
BTW: I am not here for dates or for a husband. If you read my profile, you would see I am taking a break from dating. But thanks for your concern about my love life. | |
|
| |
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/16/2007 12:24:21 AM | Wow.
However, as a general fact, American women are one of the most spoiled/favored by laws of the land(community property)/use children and sex as a weapon for personal gain... compared to women from latin/asian/other ethnicities of the world.
Gee, scotty. You must be talking about comparing us to- say, women in India that get stoned to death after being raped because they were not faithful to their husbands. Compared to that, you're right. We have it made in the shade. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/16/2007 12:27:04 AM |
Gee, scotty. You must be talking about comparing us to- say, women in India that get stoned to death after being raped because they were not faithful to their husbands.
They get stoned to death, splashed with acid, etc. for a far lesser crime: not having a boy baby. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/16/2007 12:35:35 AM | Gee, scotty. You must be talking about comparing us to- say, women in India that get stoned to death after being raped because they were not faithful to their husbands.
Cooky, I believe you mean Saudi Arabia. A man can divorce his wife there, by taking her to the Public Square on Friday ( their religious day of the week ) twirling her around seven times, while saying something to the effect "I divorce thee" the same number of times and it's all over for the Lady. (By the way, she can never marry again.) Yep, things are pretty nasty for women in other parts of the world. Unfortunately, I don't think things will change soon, about this issue. It's a sad state of affairs, I agree with you. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/16/2007 1:20:39 AM | *muttering*
I was actually using sarcasm to point out how ludicrous scotty's statement was.
Sorry, I thought that was pretty obvious.
There are many, many places in this world where it would be far luckier to be a dog than to be a women. My heart and my prayers cry out to these women, and I will continue to do whatever I can to improve their situation. If you would like to help, email me and I will gladly send you some links that tell you how you can help, too.
But to say that American women are spoiled, pampered, use sex and children as a weapon, not to mention being more overweight, than latin/asian/ and other ethnicities not only attacks American women, it demeans Asians and Latinas, too. Sounds like he believes the "other ethnicities" are at least women enough to take their abuse like a man.
And that's before we get to this illuminating insight on California politics:
The laws in this state were made by gays to favor the women; All media as well caters to women(over 50%) more than men.
Guess it's time to skip the subtle sarcasm and say straight up-
This is ridiculous.
How many of our California lawmakers are gay? And WTF difference would it make anyway?
Oh, and last I heard, the demographic that gets the most respect is men, ages 18-35. You know the ones, you'll see them in line buying the newest flat screen HiDefTV, or watching every commercial on every sports event...
(And bless them for it- they're the reason we have the opportunity to get better and cheaper TVs, and the chance to watch Tampa Bay or British yachting at the touch of a remote.)
But it is absolutely laughable to suggest that the media has a bias towards women. That's why they made Lifetime- just to keep us happy and quiet. (gag) | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/16/2007 1:58:31 AM | Agent A..... You make for some very interesting conversation.. There was no venom! You may have read more into it then was really there. Just my opinion, nothin more.
"I prefer to say that I have worked HARD for what I have and luck had nothing to do with it".
SO you think Luck does not play in the work force.... If you got the skills, you might get the job... Studies have been done with two women applying for the same job..although the one who was more attractive was hired. No luck huh?
I only was trying to make a point that if you were unfortunate enough to lose your job over and over again... you might think alittle differently. To truly understand ones plight, you would have to walk in their shoes. The saying is Takes one to know one.!
But I disagree .....that luck is in many things we live with.... Ever wonder why you were picked for those jobs you held. You don't think for a minute it was just your skill do you. There could of been hundreds of scenerios to play out... I am glad that you have not had any bad luck, and hope you always rise above to continue to be a success.
But I try not to make judgements on anyone , that I have not experienced myself.
 | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:27:52 AM |
Yes, you could say I am very lucky. I prefer to say that I have worked HARD for what I have and luck had nothing to do with it. I am blessed to be where I am and where I am going. I will continue to work hard and strive for things I want in life. I do not expect anyone else to do it for me. I also do not expect to carry someone either.
And you should be girl! 
It appears that a strong level headed woman who isnt afraid to speak her mind gets probed just because she wants an equal partner. There are plenty of successful men out there, and it appears those who are "challanging" what you desire are feeling inadequet, (sp), so therefore, they seem to be trying to attempt to poke holes in your reasoning.
I am a 32 hard working single mother whose daughters father is not in her life. I have attained alot in my 5 yrs. as a single parent. I do not think it is alot to ask for that a man have a job, and is secure in all walks of his life. I realize divorce can knock us down, but, there is no reason in this day and age that a person doesnt have a job. We all have to have one to survive and pay our bills. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/16/2007 5:28:16 PM | SO you think Luck does not play in the work force.... If you got the skills, you might get the job... Studies have been done with two women applying for the same job..although the one who was more attractive was hired. No luck huh?
Well, I'm sure what that study has to do with anything since I am the fat, unattractive applicant who HAS been turned down for jobs for not "fitting the image we wish to represent." Of course, those were crappy retail jobs that I thank god I was spared from enduring those positions yet again.
Anyway, my point is that I am where I am because I pushed for it. After graduating college, I spent 9 months being unemployed. It was not fun and I am still paying off the debt today, 5 years later. In any case, I took a job well below my educational level just to get into the government. Once in, I went to another officer position and then on to where I am now. I will move on again when I feel I have tapped out what I need to learn from my current job. What I am trying to convey here is I did not rely on blind luck to get me in. I didn't think I was "better" than to take a certain level of job...and it paid off by getting me into a system that is hard to crack. My employment strategy worked. I worked hard and put my time in to get here and continue on my way.
I only was trying to make a point that if you were unfortunate enough to lose your job over and over again... you might think alittle differently. To truly understand ones plight, you would have to walk in their shoes. The saying is Takes one to know one.!
I have been unemployed and I have been laid off. I know what it is like to be there. But I picked my pants up after being spanked by life and moved on. In the objective sense, if I were to continue to be laid off in a certain field, I wouldn't stick with it because it isn't stable.
My educational training is geared for doing biotechnical type labwork. However, those jobs are low paying and far between for people who do not possess advanced degrees. If you asked me when I was in school if I would have expected to be working for the government, I would have thought you were joking. The choice came between trying to push to be in a field of my degree and fight for any low paying job or do something totally different? I chose something totally different and couldn't be happier.
Ever wonder why you were picked for those jobs you held. You don't think for a minute it was just your skill do you.
I don't doubt for a minute that I was chosen because of my skills, educational background, and the ability to advocate myself in the interview process or at least my ability to get the interviewers to laugh.
Again, I am sorry you have so many difficulties in your life. I hope you are able to get back on track if you haven't already.
However, I do not think I am sitting in a judgemental position to ask for my potential partner to be my equal and someone who views finances and career in a similar fashion as I do. Considering the fact that many relationships and marriages end due to dissimilar attitudes towards money and finances, I think it is entirely responsible to want someone on the same page. Like I said before, I could never come home to a man who thinks living paycheck to paycheck is ideal or who spends $5000 on a television because he got a new credit card or decides to clean out the savings to buy a new car.
Maybe you are right and it's just blind luck. But for me, I have to believe I had a hand creating who and where I am today. I can't sit back and think it is all due to luck...coz that would make me a supreme sucker for working so hard :laugh:
Haplucky4:
Your statements are absurd and insulting. There really isn't much more to say about what you have posted. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/16/2007 11:50:34 PM | Agent A.... After reading your version, I have no choice to bow, to your determination and accomplishments. Atta Girl!!!
Thanks for helpin me to better understand. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 7/17/2007 12:31:24 PM |
California women are regarded as being gold-digging, tofu eating, self centered, and shallow than other women in the country (feel free to add stereotypes of your own).
It's been my experience that women in California are actually more likely to be independent, have a college education, and be career minded than other states I have been to (Washington, South Carolina, Oklahoma, Iowa...). In these other states, "house wives" are far more common and encouraged. So, I would say there's more "gold diggers" elsewhere (to be fair, they seem to find other ways to contribute to the relationship). It makes sense, because the "feeling" there is that life should be centered around family - here in California we're much more career and self-oriented. | |
|
| California women: fact or myth?
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:19:26 PM | | WOW! Who burned you? Do you have to blanket statement the entire female population of CA? You stated that your opinions are, "based solely on your college life." If I based my opinion of the male population on my college life I'd think you were all hanging upside down with kegstands surgically connected to your mouths. How fair is that? Anyways, I gotta run...My tofu's boiling over and I need to review this guy's bank statement really quickly before our date. | |
|
|
| Page 11 of 17
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 |
|
Home
login 
~~~ 
