FZR
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Joined: 3/24/2007
Msg: 276 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:26:57 AM | What ever happened to the age of chivalry? Christ almighty! Manners and respect, and being a gentleman, walking on the outside( I bet most can't even tell you why this is mannerly)!!, holding the door, holding the seat, paying for the date.
All relationships should be 50/50, but splitting the whole thing down to the last penny! GET A GRIP!
Not all women will appreciate being shown respect and manners, but hey the ones that do are the ones that are worthy of it! And the same go vice versa.
Don't get me wrong here, take the mick out of me and you've shot it, I won't be played to get a free date, but at the end of the day, I rest safe in the knowledge that I have treated you with the respect you deserve, and like a woman, if you wish to abuse that then, what goes around comes around as they say! | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:33:46 AM | Why is it expected though that men pay for things when it is not like women do not work, make decent money these days?
I recall one time I went on a date, I was about to pay and she said let me pay half, I said ok and then she goes on saying I am so cheap. Then why offer to pay half? Oh because it feels good to hear the man say 'No I got it, don't worry about it?'
I have paid the $80 bill plus tip and got a "I am not interested in you" 3 days later. Ahh but yes taking risks is all it is about. I am out $80, big deal right? She is out $0. Just her time with me right?
Men have to approach, men have to ask out, men have to pick up the woman, men have to pay for the date and men have to accept being rejected AFTER the date has been paid for.
And yes lots of women say it is fair and that is the game of dating and risks.
Think about a guy who goes on 3 dates one week, and pays for them all, nice. Say about $120 is spent. Not much right? Thought so.
And we still hear women complain about how the date went garbage, he wasn't good looking but yet she forgets, you got a nice dinner or lunch out of it that you didn't have to pay for nor had to worry because you told him after the date you were not interested.
I would prefer if the woman is not interested, which she will know within 10 minutes of us going out, she tell me, pays her part and we go our seperate ways. Does this happen? Hardly ever to guys. Our financial status is important to women because she may make $40K a year and the guy $42K so because she has to buy perfume, clothes, and accessories of course he has to foot the bill for everything.
Like my buddy at work said, if a guy is to be cheap and not pay for everything or most things, he will be single forever or for a long time.
Like trips, the gf will not pay a cent, the bf will pay the airfare and the hotel for both and pay for all things on the trip. Yet the woman still will be somewhat unhappy.
I have no problem paying for a date, but if I am expected to pay everytime we go out and if we go somewhere for a weeeknd or trip I better not be expected to pay all the time for that.
I can see it now, women will have a nice stash hidden away for retirement and call all the men who have their pension to collect cheap. LOL.
I even know a guy who works a part time job on weekends so he can pay for dates. Sad really but it will never change. Traditions will stay in place forever. And women will still call us cheap no matter what LOL. Sad | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 6:18:53 AM | Chivalry comes from a different time and place. When most women couldn't work, lived at home and were marrying men for security for themselves and future children, chivalry was in place with the indication that men protected women, which in many ways they did. Men picked women up and took them out and paid for a meal to spend time with them away from their parents which is where most women lived until marriage. They brought her home and walked her to her your door because her mother or father (who was in the position to approve of her potential dates) was usually up watching them do so. The door is where it ended because she didn't live alone. Opening the door, bringing flowers, walking her back and forth to the car and taking her coat were really to impress her parents, and it may have been impressive to her because her parents back then taught her to expect it.
Except for the older generation, it's outdated to expect men to pick you up, pay for a meal and whatever else the date entails and then drop you off at your doorstep. Women now live alone, work and don't need to be protected. The dynamics have changed.
Holding/opening doors and the like is something we should ALL be doing male and female because it's common courtesy. If a man (or woman) wishes to pay for an entire meal or a date, that's his (or her) choice. However in this day and age men shouldn't be judged or expected to do so. The who asks pays thing is ok too as long as it's done evenly on both sides, unfortunately a lot of men ask and a lot of women don't, so that rule just puts men back in the same boat.
There are women who will date men to get free meals, but I think they are so few and far between that it's not worth talking about. Most of us won't want to spend that much time with a guy we don't like no matter how much he's paying for, when we could pay to eat alone - and trust me we'd rather d0 that. Naturally in a situation where you've not met someone yet like here, a full blown date no matter who pays what is a risk for anyone to take not knowing if you want to spend more than 10 minutes with them when you get there. It's all common sense. | |
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Larra
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Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 280 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 6:55:37 AM | I can't get my head around this idea of 'old fashioned values' including spending what is somebody else's money; I wasn't brought up to expect others to pay for me. If I was meeting someone for the first time I'd think it appalling manners for me to expect them to pay everything. I'm far too polite.
Plus this idea about 'if they've asked, they pay' - I am not of a mindset to ask anyone out (just haven't got the confidence for that) so it's either them asking or nothing. To then assume they finance it is just plain wrong for me. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:56:13 AM | | I have only read the first few pages of this and I guess I have been pretty lucky. I am new to the dating game after many years of marriage and things sure have changed. I personally don't think that one person should always be reaching into their pocket. A "first date" I do think that the person that asks should pay but I always ask if I can get at least get the tip, so far I have never been allow to even do that, or pay for the ice cream later. Guess I am good company, lol. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 8:10:03 AM | I have been dating off and on for the last 5 yrs... OMG... I have paid for the dates, I drove to the mans date or house, I even after dating paid for the meals and trips.. It has been me.. I did the independent thing...
MEN HATE IT IN THE LONG RUN.... Women Never pay for a meal, or a trip.. I went wrong on this... It lowers the mans image.. it creates a reward system, it is expect, men are greedier and will continue to take advantage of a women.. but in the end.. the Sex sucks his self image is lowered and it is sad to watch a man who is making $200 a week and you are making $5000. a month... He ends up hating the relationship.. He feels that he can not provide for you, he can not give you anything at all, so he stops.. and little by little YOU AS A WOMEN HAVE DESTROYED THE MAN...... I did this... trust me..
Women never pay for meals... Only if you know your man can be equal with you..
I found a man who can pay for the meal but he is my equal.. and I can pay for the meal. So we take turns.... But we are a couple so it is acceptable.. Understand..
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 8:26:13 AM | women and why they think men should buy everything ????
What about men who thinks the woman should buy everything??? Works both ways here! I just traveled 6 1/2 hours (one way) to meet a man, who not only let me pay for the trip but for dinner that night and lunch the following day, and oh yeah if I wanted to I would only have to pay $75 to $100 a night for a hotel room with him? NOT! He just happened to have left his wallet at home both times-how convenient! I know that not everyone is made of money (including myself) but that first meeting..............go dutch! If I paid for the trip, the least he could have done was pay for dinner-oh yeah and it wasn't as though I picked something expensive-pizza-$15.00! I love reading these forums, you learn a lot off of them but I do have to say, and maybe this is an age issue here, that we tend to "catagorize" way to much. The majority of the issues we have are because we have lost track of two very important thing, value and respect! Treat others as you would like to be treated, it might just make this "dating" scene a little easier!  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 8:34:21 AM |
i know not all women are like that but what on earth possesses a person to think they are that special they dont have to contribute to the financial cost of going on a date ?????
just wondering really ?????
If you ask a woman out, why in the world should she expect to pay?
If you don't want to pay, that's fine. Don't ask a lady out then. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 8:38:05 AM |
Except for the older generation, it's outdated to expect men to pick you up, pay for a meal and whatever else the date entails and then drop you off at your doorstep. Women now live alone, work and don't need to be protected. The dynamics have changed.
I have found that most women don't really want you to pick them up at their house for the first few dates. I can respect that and I think it is understandable since you might not want someone knowing where you live if they turn out to be a flake. Anyone whom has ever had a stalker (and I have) is much more careful about the amount of information they allow the other person to know about them upfront. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 10:50:17 AM | Jane, why were there two dates with this loser? Wasn't one enough?
Don't let them off the hook like that- next time a low life hustler "forgets" his wallet-
try "too bad"- pay for your own, leave, let him reach in his pocket after you leave- find his wallet
pay for himself and go home -probably to his beleagured wife- | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:11:16 AM | | hahah this loser gets burned for lunch and dinner dates and the women are respectful and classy enough to wait 3-4 days before letting me know she is not interested, while avoiding any contact. But I conclude that women are supposed to do that either way. And men are supposed to accept paying for lunch or dinner at a place the woman prefers, regardless...nice to know that a man's money is thought of as water, that it should flow freely... | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:45:15 AM | Good Points you made Champ!!! Next time when expected to pay by a women, tell her " I hardly know you, and at this point we're just friends, Do you pay for your friends when you go out?"
People bring up the point.....We'll whomever asks to do something should be the one to pay.
bullShit.......If my buddy ask me to go get a bite to eat, do I expect him to pay for me?
Hell no! That's why on first encounters I like to go to the park, out for a walk, or to the beach. I need to know if this is even somoene I LIKE. But I usually talk on the phone a great deal before meeting someone. I can tell usually pretty soon, if this is someone I feel like being botherd with. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:56:12 PM | I approach any date a little old fashioned:
I invited her - so I should pay.
I'll pay for the first few dates, but she won't make it far if she doesn't find a way to contribute back in some way (no, I don't mean sex - that's called prostitution and belongs in a whole 'nother thread). For example, if I invite her over to my place for dinner and a movie - I'll see if she volunteers to bring a movie, bake a dessert, offer to take me out on a date after etc. There's a dozen chicks that will just leach off of ya if you let 'em  the trick is to weed through them and find one that's just as interested in making that extra effort too  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 1:09:40 PM |
There's a dozen chicks that will just leach off of ya if you let 'em the trick is to weed through them and find one that's just as interested in making that extra effort too
Yea but how much money are you going to be OUT in your process of weeding through them.
I treat everyone like a friend, until I feel that I would want to be more than friends. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 4:14:17 PM | | Not much $$$ at all. First dates should be easy financially - walks in parks, meeting for coffee etc. Second dates can be more impressive. If a girls expecting a $100 meal, and porche - I'm not the right guy for her anyway. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 4:41:05 PM | | ^^^Bravo...the formula should be no more than 30 mins away, no more than 30 mins for the meeting and keep it under $10. You can always schedule another get together if you like someone, but not having to spend more than half an hour with someone you don't get along with is well worth it if set up ahead of time. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 4:48:38 PM | | equal rights means equal pay ...... there are many more woemn in the world then men and they should feel priviledged we are blessing them with our presence. women can easily be replaced with a newer model and usually much better looking, more intelligent at a younger age, and more apt to not have so many issues that older women would have, ie. kids, emotional issues from exs, and this list goes on and on. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 4:53:54 PM | | The reason for the 2 dates, is I had traveled 6 1/2 hours to meet this man. I believe that everyone, men and women a like, are to be given a second chance. The first time you get burnt shame on them the second time shame on me! Not all men are like this and believe me women do this too! It is a shame what our society is coming to, treat others with respect and the way you would want to be treated. The world as a whole just might be a better place to live in and I would imagine this sight wouldn't have so many single people on it either! | |
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cgisme
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Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 297 | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/29/2007 6:52:20 PM |
The woman should always pay!
Unless the man pays.
If neither pays, then there's Hell to pay!
So either way, somebody has to pay.
-Suthn_Boy
Too funny!
It just depends on what the person I'm dating is comfortable with. I was raised with the traditional male/female roles, like quadmom, and they have their place, but I don't mind paying some times. The last person that I dated for a length of time, paid more times than not, but sometimes I paid and I didn't mind doing it. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:44:23 AM |
I am figuring I should just hand my visa over to the woman I take out and tell her get what you want, this way I won't be seen as cheap but be seen as generous.
Um...Champ Honey, I've just been dying to go out with you.... | |
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