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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/30/2007 10:31:37 AM | | There are dates and there are dates! If someone (male or female) invites someone out to dinner, the person doing the inviting should pay. But let's be honest. More often, deciding where to go and what to do is a mutual thing. It's a 'Why don't we go to x' as opposed to 'let me take you to x'. In which case costs should be shared. The days when men used to pay for everything all the time belong to the times when women were chattels and didn't have any means of their own. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:17:40 PM | Jane Jane Jungle Jane,\
That exact classy and dignified thinking is EXACTLY how everyone whose conned me got anything.
They just love people that think this way- that' it's elevated and a good way to live
it is- but it's also easy to attract and get conned by people who confuse kindness and a good heart with being a fool | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:09:44 PM | i know not all women are like that but what on earth possesses a person to think they are that special they dont have to contribute to the financial cost of going on a date ?????
just wondering really ?????
BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT!     | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:27:13 PM | Well I think because men think they have to pay for everything and alot of women figure why not if he offers and some women think if I offer to pay he will feel cheap. Communication is key and this seems to lack in so many areas of dating from paying for dates, to where to go, to sex. Everyone thinks the other person is a mind reader.
Um...Champ Honey, I've just been dying to go out with you....
Um... raerae59..I am sure that would change when you went to use my visa and it said denied because it was maxed to its limit...
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:39:12 PM | Dear Christ
I don't have a problem paying for my own meal when you ask me out...but.....you will get "no" discount when you eat/drink at my house...you will be expected to pay....and a good tip would be appreciated also...what a jerk you are | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:46:33 PM | ^^You mean women actually ask a man to her place for dinner? I thought that happens later on if in fact you start dating? I have never had a woman pay for her part of the date, only one time when she offered, and I have never been asked to a woman's place for dinner or anything. I guess I am cheap and do not spend enough on the date? LOL
Let's see:
Man has to pay for date and take the risk
Man has to ask woman on date as women do not usually ask
Man is considered selfish because he is over 35 and never married and no kids
Man is considered boring over 35 by women his age who prefer younger
Man is not good enough because his job is not impressive
Man is not good enough because of his income
Man does not own a car so is not date worthy
Man owns crappy car and is not date worthy
Man is not good looking enough to date
Man does not dress impressive to date
No wonder alot of us give up, or should. The odds are stacked against us holy crap. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/1/2007 1:27:37 PM | blanche dubois
I don't know what I was thinking  I thought I was living in a world of decent individuals, who at the age we are, would not take advantage of people who are kind and good hearted (not only men but women a like!) What a shame, our society has became this way......................maybe I am a fool but one bad shark doesn't make for a pond not worthy of  in! I will cast my line again and just maybe I will find myself an   (angel fish)  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/1/2007 1:46:40 PM | | I guess it shows how out of date I am, I can't believe it's even an issue, If I'm dating someone I expect to pick up the check, I'm not comfortable the other way around much let feeling grieved about it. At some point if a lady make's a point of saying she would like to treat me fine then it's open for discussion but sheesh getting steamed because my date didn't heave some money on the table, I'd quit dating. Now if you were talking about a two week holiday somewhere that would merit discussion.... Sure glad I'm not a woman dating some of the guys whining about it................ | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/1/2007 2:01:13 PM | If I ask a woman out ,then I want to treat($$) her and I want to pay.If she said "let me take you to dinner" the next week then I would think that meant she wants to treat ($$)....I would go and enjoy myself.
Its a simple concept..taking turns . | |
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loulie
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Joined: 4/9/2007
Msg: 310 | |
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| Grow some balls
Posted: 5/2/2007 10:09:23 AM | If you're a guy and you ask to split the bill with you dates, it's going to cost you more in the long run. NO WOMAN will want to be with you, so you'll be out on more dates, spending more money. Reconsider why you're even on that date, you're obviously not interested in a relationship, so it's probably just to get in her pants. Good luck with that. Don't believe me? Read from trubblemakr, post 265: "if a guy asks u out on a date it isnt his responsibility to feed u unless of course his payment is u putting out"
And I wanna know…where the hell are you taking these dates that it costs you $50-$100 per date? I'll almost guarantee that dates are more expensive around where I live, and yet it doesn't cost me nearly that much. I live in Manhattan, and there are millions of ways and places to go on dates. Sure, I could be impressive and take her to the Olive Garden in Times Square, followed by front row seats to Rent. Then again, that would cost an arm and a leg.
How much does it cost to:
Walk through the park, and stop to watch some street performers? $2-$5
Buy food at the grocery store, cook, and rent a blockbuster? $15-$25
Sit on a street side café with hors d'oevres and drinks? $15
Bowl? $20-$25
Hit up the driving range? $20-$30
Rollerblade/rollerskate? $0-$10 (maybe a rental fee)
Notice how all those dates meet the requirement most women here ask for on a first date…."A place where we can talk and get to know each other better"
If you're also so unoriginal that all you can come up with is dinner, know your restaurants. A $7.95 investment can save you hundreds, it's called the Zagat Guide. I could go to any rooftop restaurant in Manhattan, where the appetizers alone are over $30 each. Or I could take her to the cutesy retro café, where the most expensive dish is $15. I pick less expensive places with good atmosphere and good food. Know your restaurants, and pick the right ones.
Don't try to do it all at once. Pick one or 2 activities, and match inexpensive ones with expensive ones, so it all averages out. If you do too much, you leave nothing for the second date, or if the first date was too much, then her expectations will be too high for you to match on the second date. Start slow, and stay mysterious.
The more serious she and I are of becoming committed to each other, the more I'll consider an expensive-ish date. But this takes time to determine. Once we're committed to each other, a relationship is a 2 way street, so I'd expect the financial responsibility to be lightened, though not lifted. Maybe 60/40 or 75/25. She could treat every now and then, or surprise me with something.
Grow some balls, open your wallet, and take some responsibility. It shows maturity and confidence. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/2/2007 10:30:51 AM | | at least HE'S getting laid. on 1st dates, i prefer the pizza/oral sex route. if that doesnt happen, the other SHOULD---not just offer, to leave the tip or buy the drinks. (bet she doesnt bring her hollow leg w/her) | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/2/2007 1:57:34 PM | Grow some balls, open your wallet, and take some responsibility. It shows maturity and confidence.
Just give her your damn credit card and she will say yes to a second date..just make sure you pay the balance off in time for the second date or else you are screwed.
If I ask a woman out ,then I want to treat($$) her and I want to pay.If she said "let me take you to dinner" the next week then I would think that meant she wants to treat ($$)....I would go and enjoy myself.
Its a simple concept..taking turns .
This rarely happens from what I know and have been told.
Any dates, be it dinner, movie, concert, sports event, no woman in her right mind will ever pay for it. Sure maybe the $10 tip for dinner that the guy paid $35 for. If he didn't pay with his Visa as you just add it onto the bill that way.
And trips? Ask a woman or a guy you know is dating someone and ask who paid for what on the trip. Bet she may have paid for a couple of nights out for dinner on the trip, but he paid for the entire cost of the trip for sure. And those who think that is peanuts, you must make awesome money. If I was to go on a trip with a gf, I would pay for my airfare and pay the hotel for us, she could at least pay her airfare. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/5/2007 11:20:53 AM | women and why they think men should buy everything ????
I have been giving this some thought...a few months back I went on a date and
the guy chose the place...(one of the most expensive sushi restaurants in the city)
the guy ordered all the food (without asking me if there was something I wanted in particular)...mind you all the food was shared (the cost of each roll was between $12-25 dollars)
then he expected me to foot half the bill.
I think if a someone expects their date to pay for half of the bill, they should let them have some input on where they are going, and what is being ordered.
Part of the reason I let him order all the food was because I knew this was an extremely expensive restaurant, (not somewhere I would choose for a first date) and I thought he was going to be paying.
Of course I did pay for half...but you can imagine how I would have felt since I had no input on any of the decisions made on that date. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/5/2007 11:29:24 AM | If they can get it, why not take it?
historically (in the 50's) it worked that way, and even though many women earn more than many men now, they still like to 'take', never 'give'.
It also makes them seem more 'special' likethey are only with you becasue you buy.
Helll's sakes, if I were a woman, I'd try to work that too..nice never paying?
Maybe you should explain carefully that you are not into being seen as a "walking wallet"..
right up front..rather than being "afraid to" because you think she might not go out with you then.. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/15/2007 3:52:06 PM | phine likker,
You sound resentful because you were born a man???!
I mentioned on one thread where a woman that is a M.D. is supporting a hot young man, who is a pot smoker.
I ALWAYS pay my own share, if you want to know. When I learned that another officer fed the critters, I picked up extra bags of food and treats. I gave them to him and we argued: "Just give them to the critters, because I cannot be everywhere at once!"
"Nor can I, but you shouldn't have to pay for it! How much did it cost you?"
He gave me cash, I located my receipt, and gave him money back.
Perhaps animal people are different and more genuine.
As an off thread comment, should we be using these funds towards "human rescue?"
Persons have educational opportunites, including public funded getting your GED until you are twenty-two. I just saw an ad in the paper that you can get FREE reading, writing, and arithmetic classes.
IMHO, accidental pregranct us disgraceful, and multiple babies that are accidental is even more disgraceful.
Men who do not take care of their own seeds are disgraceful.
Oh, yeah, on another thread I called these Pieces of Garbage "citizens" as liabilities on Society, but I am prepared for the attack.
I pay for all my own bills, but may people do nt.
Do you have any idea how many Section 8 people defraud the government and have their babies" daddy move in with them, incur the ccly of abuse, never get a job, rent appliances and report them stolen?
I know I majorly digresses.
Women have income and educational opportuities that make things equitable. The allocation of resourcea should be based on equitability. JMHO. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/22/2007 3:41:58 PM | Its amazing to me how many young men no longer feel its....well, hell, chivalrous to pay for the first date (or the first few).
I'm about as liberated as I want to be. Before meeting my current s/o, I was a single mother of four....and even before that, I was the main breadwinner in my previous marriage. I have -0- problem contributing financially to any outing or endeavor in a relationship. But, I like for it to BE a relationship first. So ya...I'm one of those delusional women who expect a guy to pay for our first date. Sue me. Whoops, better not say that...some modern minded guy will take me up on it!
For me, its a mark of how well mannered a man is. And yes, manners matter to me. I'm just old school enough to have listened to my mother when she talked about "gentleman". And I'll be teaching my boys the same when the time comes.
To add to this, before any of the new age cheapskates start bashing me.....I also believe that a woman should cook for her man (sometimes, and depending on her outside of the home workload) take over the majority of the household chores (with the same stipulations afore mentioned) and take the lead in terms of child rearing. There are obvious exceptions to this thinking, including men who are stay at home parents.
I don't mind a traditional female role and my life right now is an adaptation of that. Hell, no, I'm no June Cleaver. But I don't mind doing some home making when I'm not overloaded in other areas. I think its cool. I have desire to be permitted to fight on the front lines, get out and push my car when it breaks down or tote a heavy box up the stairs when there is a perfectly healthy male with a strong back present.
I also expect a man to work, know how to change a tire and my oil, be able to unscrew a tight lid for me and mow my damn lawn. Heck ya, he better open my door, pull out my chair and pay for our first date. But thats just me. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/24/2007 5:33:39 AM | If you become serious with a woman that never offers, you might want to sit down and talk with her. Except if she was jobless or is a college student or something. Even as a broke college student, ive picked up the bill for dates with guys im serious with not just any guy. I dont ask guys out anyway so im not worried about the "you asked, you pay" rule.
The last date i went to, this guy slid the bill to me and asked me to pay since i had a job and he didnt. Can you say no 2nd date? LOSER. This dude also had the nerve to ask me for a 2nd date. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/27/2007 7:16:18 PM | As a whole, men are such idiots. They let the notion of getting laid sucker them in to the most outragious situations.
Is it STILL TRUE, that woman out number men?
If so, why is it the men that are the ones that stand in line at the mere sniff of the air?
By laws of supply and demand, it should be the women standing in line.
HENCE....
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/28/2007 8:46:07 AM | | It isn't the money women want. They want to be appreciated. I had a boyfriend years ago who literally made me come up with every last penny of taxes on dinner and made sure I put the nickel in the parking meter when it was my turn. I spent all of my only trust fund going out with that guy. In those days I believed what he said, that women are liberated. I always hated him. Always will, too. I had a scruffy old tattooed biker who took me out to $50 sushi dinners all the tme. Also has never said one blessed word about the money he spent, even though he's been on the verge of homelesness a couple times. It comes down to do they really care or do they just want cheap sex. I reciprocate by cleaning up their house, buying stuff for their house they never thought of (like a bedstand and reading light for me when I stay over). I bring groceries. I never wanted to do diddly for the cheap guy, I'm just sorry I ever knew him, but I remember that scruffy old biker with great fondness. And I've done things for him since we broke up, like sending commiserations when his mother died. Life is very simple. You don't feel like doing anything for someone who hates parting with a penny and you'd give your soul for those who sprung for you. It's just a matter of feeling. The love you make is equal to the love you take in the end. I don't even respond to ads that complain about money or anything. They don't want to give or love or be involved. I had so much joy buying that biker groceries, cleaning up his house, bringing him little things, because he didn't resent giving to me. It's called love. | |
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