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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/10/2007 4:50:50 PM | Money is one of the few things I truly hate, I make money, I realize it's important, even necessary, but I still hate it, because it's one of the very few things in this world that brings out selfishness in a person.
I think the idea of guys being obligated to pay for things is just plain wrong, I'm not talking about dollar values either, I'm talking about intentions and actions, I can buy you a fancy dinner tonight and the next day you can send over a bag of chocolate with a thank you note, I'd be perfectly happy, I'll even appreciate the girl more for being appreciative. I prefer to pay for the dates, I couldn't stand the idea of having to calculate every bit of gains and losses when it comes to dealing with another person, so the only thing I do look for is appreciation, if after I paid for things 3 times and I still don't sense appreciation (body language tells way more than mere words), well, i get smart then get ready to bolt.... does that mean i would spend a whole lot on girls who are not even worth it? sure does, sure has happened, but I'd still do it again with a smile on me face, it's the right thing to do. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/10/2007 5:31:39 PM | Every date I have ever went on and offered to pay I was quickly told no...
"Half?" I say
"No I got it". he says
"Sure?"
"Postive."
This same basic conversation almost always occurs..... I don't assume because I am female I don't pay it just always works out that way....I don't want to start an argument over the check... However once in a steady relationship I beleive in taking turns
Why do men always make us let them pay???
I also don't complain about equal rights..... As long as men walk on the side nearest the street, lift the heavy objects, open the jars, and I get saved first should a ship we're aboard go down....keep your extra whatever percent you guys get an hour for the same job.... (you deserve it)
*~Misty~* | |
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bosoxx
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Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 454 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/10/2007 5:54:05 PM | Verboten,
It's women like you that make me want to puke! First of all your not the only gender that puts up w/ sexist points of view or doublestandards or reverse double standards for that matter.
Why is it fiscal responsibility to pay for a man to pay for all the dates? Maybe men are sick of meeting women w/ kids from god knows how many fathers that don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of! Those kind of women need god the saviour,a man shouldn't have to be.
If you think that point of view isn't a double standard or sexist than your just JADED!
Oh Yeah....Men are supposed to provide,that's fine.....While many women earn more or have children from relationships that we are expected to providenot only financial support but be role models and step parents.Things aren't like they used to be.I routinely meet women that make or have more than I do.....Still I pay and I don't mind.As a matter of expectation....THAT I MIND! If you want it that ways,get back in the damn kitchen and i won't have to take you out to dinner!
Very well said Settler...I commend your logic and this is nothing more than reperations for things our generation of men didn't commit!
MyGirl,
Not every man responding isn't broke.I'm not and i still have a problem w/ the double standard.You say you are making us look good.What are we "pets' or something?Maybe you on my arm makes you look good too! Again,I pay for all my dates,so I have a right to complain about the expectations when they're one sided.First dates no problem,3-4 dates no problem but still It is my view that a woman w/ nothing to bring to the table (financially) is a bad match for someone 'with something"...Easier for them to walk away,while we are stuck footing the bill
Yeah.....I never realized how freat dating was,that's why I'm still doin it! So let's see we as real men are supposed to pay for dates to show our care.What we are really doing is paying for dates to show this woman that we are worthy of stepping in to her messed up life,kids and baggage and all,buy it all ,fix it all,lift it all and then on top of that she will want us to be 'there" to help w/ child care and raising and normal relationship things.Sounds like an excellent deal....Sign me up!
To answer your question: We EXPECT to be treated well when we act like gentlemen and not like we are just the fri. night thing!
Charlie,your a great girl! Great attitude......equality(in some fashion) ,dignity and respect for ALL!
~ Multiple posts merged~ YaYa ~
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/10/2007 6:37:20 PM | First of all, most men make a lot more money than most women. Is that equal !??? If a guy asks me out I assume he will set the stage. If he can't afford dinner, he can suggest we meet for coffee ot tea. If my income is limited I can still make him a home cooked meal. This is supposed to be about meeting someone you're interested in---not a business deal. I assume if the guy doesn't offer to pay, at least for the first date, that he is cheap ! WHO wants a cheapskate ! ? They are miserable people. Who wants to live in squalor and misery ! ? A guy who can't afford it but wants to pay should only go where he can afford to pay for both of them. If he lets her know his funds are limited most women would pay for them selves or offer to make something at home once she knows him.  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/10/2007 6:59:20 PM | I have never met a guy who would let me contribute one penny towards ANYthing. In my last long term relationship, I FINALLY got the guy to see that it was OK if I paid our way into the movies or whatever sometimes. But he HATED it.
I could MAYBE understand him feeling that way at first, when we first started dating, and it was all new, but after you are in a relationship? Who cares who pays? I told him that he paid most of the time, least he could do was let me do it sometimes, and we weren't keeping score...he let me sometimes, but he never did like it AT ALL. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/10/2007 10:12:42 PM | | Its always bothered me too. Because lets face facts, you probably have to take out 20 women before you actually find out you found one that you can get along with. 20x$50 dinner for two = $1000 just to get to step 1. A woman's cost under those rules = $0. Why should she get to see what's out there for free and have me pay for it? **** that! I always go dutch with someone I don't know well yet. If they don't like it, they can find some other sugar daddy. It has worked fine for me. I've never had someone not go out on the second date because I requested thier half of the bill. I've gotten odd looks, but I can deal with those. Women do not have golden vaginas and one would hope she is as interested in going out with you as you are going out with her. So, if you want equality than step up and be equal. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/11/2007 9:26:46 AM | ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Sounds like you're a little confused here.
Man asks = man pays, but the man also gets to pick. If you can't afford dinner, invite her out for coffee. The man usually asks first. If you don't like it that way, wait for women to ask you out first.
I know my vagina isn't for sale (and not golden, I hope) and I'm willing to bet there are few out there that are (well, except for those in the biz). You could take me to Paris and still not get laid. That's not how I make my decisions.
I think your whole problem here is you think taking her out on a date = gets your penis nice and warm in that golden vagina.
Doesn't work that way.
If all you care about is getting laid the answer is simple. Forget the date, forget the dinner, and go visit a hooker.
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/11/2007 9:43:44 AM | I quit going on dinner dates as first meets long ago. It's only a drink, coffee, whatever. If I get there first, I make sure I've paid for mine, so it's not even something to talk about.
Someone whose first concern is money for a simple date......immediate turnoff. There's dozens of threads about who pays and who should pay...blah blah...ad nauseum. Keep it simple, if someone won't meet up for a coffee, then wow, that's 1 person out of how many others.
There's a heck of a lot more interesting things to talk about than the cost of a coffee at Starbucks....you would THINK so!! If there's not then chances are I've already paid for my drink so I can just get up and LEAVE.  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/11/2007 10:06:57 AM | | If i'm truly interested in someone I pay for everything and dont even give it a second thought, on the other hand there are very few women i'm truly interested in. In my opinion, one of the biggest problems with online dating is you sometimes don't know until you actually meet someone if you are really interested in seeing them a second time. If I have no desire to see them again then i'm not so eager to pay....why would any sane reasonable person feel obligated to pay if they have absolutely no desire to see said individual again? and NO chivalry and being a gentleman doesnt have anything to do with this question/answer. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/11/2007 10:23:59 AM | Well guys , way back in the olden days not many women worked or had money .
Therefore , if you guys dated them you had to pay .
Things have changed financially since then .
Some women make 3 - 4 times more than some guys .
If you have any kind of relationship these days no ones should expect a free ride .
Because it take two incomes to survive the high cost of living .
I love the old fashion way where the guy asked me out and pays .
I also don't mind buying his dinner/movie sometimes .
So I suggest you do as you feel you want ,,
not going by old fashion rules or the new age rules .
Make your own !!!      | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/12/2007 8:02:18 AM | | Amen to you PRGal I love the part of do as you feel you want. It is strange place out there when you have not been out there for a long time and it get's some getting use to. That is why I do dutch on the first meeting, it's seems far to me even though men my age are still gentlemen and want to do the paying but I think I can afford a coffee.hah | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/12/2007 1:16:40 PM | '1) Woman offers to pay - She is looking for a relationship. She wants to be respected as a person and therefore respects you as a person and does not treat you as a money-object.'
I have to disagree with this as when I go on dates regardless of whether I think it would develop into a relationship id offer to pay my share. Very much a 50/50 kinda girl and would feel uncomfertable someone paying for everything.
I dont get how some women (including some of my friends) use blokes for dates for free nights out, firstly id feel too guilty and secondly I dont think that you should ever expect someone to pay. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/12/2007 1:26:18 PM | You're meeting the wrong women, I was married for 25 years, so just recently let back out into the dating world, and even I go half way, even on the first date, why should either person have to pay it all? However that being said, what about the men who are too chicken to ask you out, but willingly accept when you ask them and then when you do go out they allow you to foot the bill, huh? what about them?
I'ts a 50/50 world we live in now, c~mon people...get with the program!
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/12/2007 1:48:53 PM | I think the "why men should pay" in my generaton is how My father taught my brothers in how to treat women. I'm of an older generation.. yes I don't expect a man to pay for the first date because I refuse to go on a date that involves money!!!
Case in point a fellow I'm meeting is going to be mowing the church grounds today and it's just around the corner from my home.. so I'm going to meet him there and check out how he's doing on trimming the bushes back... Not all dates are dress put on the old war paint (that I hardly ever wear anymore). Some dates are just a meeting at a community activity.. or where you do your daily walk etc. Most of the guys in my age group are semi-retired or retired.. they have a limited income and I understand that. Do I get flack from my women friends?.. you betcha.. they tell me I'm a cheap date because I won't allow a man to spend a dime on me... until I know for sure I'm interested in HIM...!
I've had one StarDate.. Starbucks date in 20 years and I got there before him and bought my own dang coffee... and yes I drove 20 miles to meet him just around the corner from his place.... was I supposed to ask him for gas money?
I know the men who have dated me over the years have been the type who never nickled and dimed me or anyone... they are the type of people who will buy drinks all around for a whole evening because they are successful and know that to make money you have to spend money!!!!! They are not cheap men.. and d not resent being Social!
What's next send your girlfriend flowers and make her pay half??? | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 467 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/13/2007 11:22:39 AM | Too much thinking about what you're going to pay for, and too little actual dating. I'm going to guess this is part of why many of the men in the thread are still looking.
I totally disagree with this. I am still looking because I am tired of people, yes men and women, wanting to just screw me for superficial reasons. So I am still looking because I am meeting superficial people, who have superficial relationships for superficial sex and then move on. Try saying, "No personality at all." to yourself instead of this self induced mantra of "All men want is....". Because when someone gives you their reason, the drum beat of this claxon in your ears drowns out their words in lieu of your own stereotype. And I am not here to be stereotyped. You can't just throw away my life and all it's experiences and superimpose your version of who I am on to me because the men you have met, engaged with and interacted with did this to you. That is a sort of medical condition. I am not so morose. I can get laid and not be looking every friggin weekend because all I hear is how good I look and how good I look for my age and 20 and 20 somethings are always trying to get me into the sack. And I am just not into musical beds and spit swapping. So can we at least admit not everyone is your hatemonger? I just got off from work last night at like 4 am and there is this incredibly beautiful girl from Ireland who has the hots for me and we are always cuddling up to each other, but I am like this with all my female friend, we hug and dote on one another and comfort each other in a non sexual way. I will never take her to bed because it will go no where ( She goes back home in 8 weeks) and be just a sensational. It's my resolve. But that isn't to say she isn't to die for and I don't want to. Believe me. I want to. But it will go absolutely no place and all I will have is the memory of the experience, a notch in my belt and a chance to play Russian Roulette with STD's. Not exactly what I had in mind. So next time you approach men as a unimind one persona beast to be classified due to some preconceived impression you get from TV or a lack of proper judgment on your part for letting losers into your lives ladies, (Those of you who do, you know who you are.) think again. You brought them in and conceded they were worth your virginity. No one forced you to. And while all women are not like that, neither are all men. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/13/2007 11:44:51 AM | ^ ^ ^ ^ I didn't make this statement specifically to you, and I said "many" not "all" in the words you quoted above.
Further, in the same post, I already stated I'm NOT looking for a boyfriend. I've been involved with someone for over two years now.
TV? Haven't turned one on in months.
My hatemonger? I have no hatemongers. When I was single every man I went out with was well behaved, and paid for the initial date. There weren't even any questions about it. I had a very nice time dating, and if there were further dates I paid or contributed (i.e., he bought the dinner, I bought the tickets).
My virginity? 
I'm 54 YEARS OLD for Pete's sake. You think I'm worried about my virginity? That was lost long, long ago. I was married my entire adult life until my husband died 4 years ago. He would have been a very unhappy man if I'd told him I wanted to remain a virgin.
Seems like you're a pretty pissed off guy, none of which should have come from anything I said in my message 440.
I like men. They treat me well and they get the same in return.
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 469 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/13/2007 11:54:58 AM | Try to focus please?
I specifically said!
So next time you approach men as a unimind one persona beast to be classified due to some preconceived impression you get from TV or a lack of proper judgment on your part for letting losers into your lives ladies, (Those of you who do, you know who you are.)
See that? Those of you who do. It's screamin at ya.
You don't so obviously you are exempt. Sheesh! and she say I am pissed off?
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/13/2007 12:15:02 PM | Most dates, I usually take care of the entire bill, however; Ive had woman offer to pay half (which is nice)...If a woman is a beast on the first date, I make her pay her own way, then its (SEE YA)....
Special ? I dont know? I was raised, as were most of my friends to pay the bill on a date....No big deal....Again if its a first date, and the person is a sh##...Make then pay their half and then (RUN)
Normally I pay...No big deal...Jus the way it is.. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/13/2007 12:32:08 PM |
I quit going on dinner dates as first meets long ago. It's only a drink, coffee, whatever. If I get there first, I make sure I've paid for mine, so it's not even something to talk about.
I agree - I even go so far as to avoid the word "date" since I think it carries so much obligation and pressure to be someone you're not.
Someone whose first concern is money for a simple date......immediate turnoff. There's dozens of threads about who pays and who should pay...blah blah...ad nauseum. Keep it simple, if someone won't meet up for a coffee, then wow, that's 1 person out of how many others.
There's a heck of a lot more interesting things to talk about than the cost of a coffee at Starbucks....you would THINK so!! If there's not then chances are I've already paid for my drink so I can just get up and LEAVE.
Exactly.
The point is not who should or shouldn't pay (as has been stated before millions of times), the point is what the individuals that are actually meeting think or agree on. If you both think the man should pay, fine. If you both think dutch is best, fine. If you both think who asks should pay, fine. If you both think the woman should pay, fine. See? Keeping it short, casual and inexpensive is a good way to get a read on someone before you pay $100-200 for a meal, but if both people think a 3 hour and $100 a person is ok for a first date, may the force be with 'em. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/13/2007 2:12:47 PM | See that? Those of you who do. It's screamin at ya.
You don't so obviously you are exempt. Sheesh! and she say I am pissed off?
Next time try:
1) Paragraphs
2) Not posting everything right at the bottom of a quote of another poster (another reason for paragraphs).
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 473 | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/13/2007 5:20:21 PM | ^ ^ ^ ^ Send me a draft next time and I'll help you. I'm a journalist. My comprehension is just fine, but my eyes get tired from reading 3,000 pages of medical journal articles a week. Fortunately, the publications I read use paragraphs. 
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/14/2007 5:55:10 AM | Stop dating hookers.
lol Roxy.
I'll have to chime in here for hookers. Most of them are actually quite generous when it comes to paying for things.
OP, I've run into a few women that think like that, but they are a dieing breed. I just had a date and the woman took ME out. I usually tell a woman before our first date that I am looking for a rich woman to take care of me, one that can pay the bills and allow me to reign supreme as a Domestic King! =P | |
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