| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/17/2007 10:30:46 AM | I cannot believe how much of a raw nerve this tread had been to people.
I'm glad i started it now.
It is good to see not all women attach so much importance to the financial side of dating,
I have no interest in buying somebodies affection, If i was fluch with money then sure i would pay for the date, i was brought up like that, even if the woman is a horror i would still pay, Once bitten, twice shy though.
Rather be out with a woman who wants to spend time with me and not just looking for another cheap night out. Truth be told , i would much rather be out with the one, i cannot see that happening for a while though.
Good luck to all of you finding yours  | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 477 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/17/2007 10:48:53 AM | You too. I go out with women all the time and we sometimes go dutch and sometimes I pay. After all, they are my friends. I grew up that way. I never saw them as sex objects. That was because there were no men around to fire that up in me so I am glad I can have a lot of female friends and not want to screw all of them. Guys don't understand it for some reason. And all through college thought I was the mack. I was in ballet so I had gorgeous girls hanging all over me all the time because friends do that. And guys just thought I was screwing them all and had something or people where just slanderously jealous. It's uncanny.
I still go out with girls all the time. Sometimes 3 or 4 at a time and it's still the same thing. They think I am paying for sex or mackin them all. I'll never understand why a man can't just be a decent, moral, understanding male and a good friend to women without this kind of scrutiny. None of them are interested in just money. It's friendship pure and simple. | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 478 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/17/2007 11:46:28 PM |
^ ^ ^ ^ Send me a draft next time and I'll help you. I'm a journalist. My comprehension is just fine, but my eyes get tired from reading 3,000 pages of medical journal articles a week. Fortunately, the publications I read use paragraphs.
Unfortunately I don't read or write medical journals. I just 'chat' in forums. So if you will condescend to a lowley tike like me and endure my pedantic education. I will endeavor to overlook your exhausted red eye forum endeavors. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/18/2007 9:50:28 AM | O.K. I posted this in response to a quote on another thread. The thread got deleted almost immediately thereafter, but I decided I just had to find the right place to post it anyway. One of the women responding to a guy who was wondering if he was cheap said "cheap with money usually equates to cheapness of heart and emotion."
Exactly! It is generosity that women are looking for ... not of the pocketbook, but of the spirit. If you have forgotten (or never learned) how to give of yourself, then you will have to show it with money. Too bad, but maybe the guys who complain about paying should put a little more thought into the manner in which they portray themselves. If that is all you have to offer, that is what women will expect. That is my answer to your thread topic from a woman's perspective. The rest of my post addresses both/all genders.
The poet, Eleanor Lerman writes of how “we lived the life and used ourselves before we learned / to use our money.” If either men or women feel that they are using their money too much, maybe it is because they have tapped their personality, spirit or soul banks dry and have little to withdraw and share with another. That being said … Get over it. Don’t spend it if it doesn’t make you happy, don’t resent it when you do, and give freely or not at all.
Quit keeping score (men and women) and be grateful that you can walk into nearly any middle-class restaurant and order anything off the menu without having to blink. Quit obsessing about people being out to take advantage of you and learn to set your own boundaries and take responsibility for opening your wallet/purse without blaming the other gender for their behavior. Finally – if you can’t pay, don’t go unless it is very clear what the arrangement is ahead of time. Get another job if this is a chronic problem. Gawd, I am so sick of the b!tching. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/18/2007 10:37:24 AM | If you dont want to spend $50 on dinner...well than dont make dinner an option. I think that's a bit pricey for dinner if you ask me. When my ex and I were married we could eat at the Olive Garden for just a little less than $35. You dont have to buy alchoholic drinks.
Be more creative. Dinner is so cliche' anyway. You can have fun on a date and be able to talk and get to know eachother w/o spending a ton of cash and most women will appreciate the creativeness.
I know for me, I dont like to eat on a first date. LOL And everytime I go out to eat on a first date I always order a salad. It's my fave food and at the most they are typically $10 max. But I know that not all women are like that. But you dont have to have that steak. Use that as a second date. Invite her over to grill and fire up some steaks and have her bring the sides.
Just say non chalantly. "Hey I'm gonna grill me a steak, do you want one or do you want chicken?" When she gives her answer. Say, "Alrighty, you bring the sides and i'll have it ready at 6 o'clock".
Dating isnt about impressing someone and buying affection. If you're a jerk about it, than well I wouldnt date ya anyway.
GET CREATIVE GUYS!!! | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/18/2007 12:36:03 PM | | You should know that most women aren't just looking for a 'cheap night out', I don't need a man to feed me, I can do that myself. Its a matter of respect, its also flattering, I know that sounds old fashion but thats the way it is. Your telling her that she's worth being with (I can hear the cry of the women libbers now!), and if the relationship continues then things change, she should contribute equally. But trust me, ask her to split the bill on the 'first' date, you have probably insulted her and you shouldn't expect a second date. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/19/2007 11:59:55 AM | | I am a very independant lady and have always been brought up to "pay my own way". My family were very much you only get what you want in this life if you work and pay for it. I never have assumed on any dates that the man would pay! I am horrified by women that do sit back and let the man pay for everything - I know gold diggers like that who will stop at nothing to make a man pay for it all. Come on, women fought for equality, they work the same as men so do your bit and pay your way - it is only fair and polite!! | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/20/2007 8:42:24 PM | Latia: O.K. I posted this in response to a quote on another thread. The thread got deleted almost immediately thereafter, but I decided I just had to find the right place to post it anyway. One of the women responding to a guy who was wondering if he was cheap said "cheap with money usually equates to cheapness of heart and emotion."
Exactly! It is generosity that women are looking for
Latia is so on target, I posted something quite similar to this sentiment way back on pg. 3 or 10 or whatever but your whole post is right on target, especially the part about being sick of the b!thing. I cannot believe this thread is still going and going and going...let all the guys who want women to pay say so up front and all the women who expect the guys to pay say up front, duh... | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/20/2007 9:05:55 PM | this is silly, since we are all equal here, lets just do this:
Split the bill,
men can do the labour, women push..
Guys, you get day 1,2 and 3 of the period, and we shall take the PMS..
share the football season, and guys take turns with your buddies fetching the beer out of the fridge for the ladies...
Poker night, we get to join in... same goes for stripper night too...
Oh, and we would like to CUM as much as you do....everytime you do... since it's all equal now.... Do I hear a baby crying? your turn. :) | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/21/2007 11:53:21 AM | Relationships are not the way they used to be. Although I can pay for a date or for my own meal...why would I want to or need to?
Men often do not like to be emotionally involved, available, or RESPONSIBLE on a daily basis even by phone. This is ironic since practically everyone has a cell phone now. My parents were able to connect with one another within an hour or less without cell phones or internet...and now with cell phones they connect instantaneously.
So that makes me wonder even if it is an ongoing relationship...what is in it for the woman to pay dutch for a longterm relationship?
A man that is really interested in a woman for marriage or commitment wouldn't even be having this argument about who pays. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/21/2007 7:14:09 PM |
with all the sexist BS I have to put up with as a woman...pull out your wallet and shut up.
With a attitude like that you will likely see a lot more sexist BS. After all you are saying sexist BS with lines and a entitlement attitude like that.
On topic- Sorry this is 2007. Equal rights and all. They can't pick and choose which parts of being equal they get . They have the right to pay the bill, at least their part of it,
open their own doors and put the toilet seat down all on their own. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/21/2007 7:21:45 PM | You know why?
Because it makes me feel like you are taking care of me for the evening or the course of our date. I think it's sweet.
Do I ever offer to help with the costs? Yes! But, I don't recall ever having to pay on my first date. | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 488 | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 8/23/2007 6:13:48 PM | | I don't believe there is a "cheap date"... if both parties are having fun does it have to cost money? I like going to sporting events and movies but i am also willing to pay as much of the times as the guys and i live check to check but if i want to go out and spend time with you then i am just as willing to pay. I was brought up with 3 older brothers and now i have 3 sons and i know what it is like to hear them talk about how much stuff cost and i really dread when my youngest 2 get to the dating age cuz i know i will be the one splitting the bill. and I am hopeful that they will find a lady that offers to pay along the way as well. Yes, if i find myself paying for everything I will feel used probably at some point but if we are going out then i would hope that we have a relationship that we can talk about things and know how each other stands on certain things. If i ask someone to do something with me then i make sure i have the money for it to happen.. If at all possible i will get the tickets before hand or pay for the hotel on line if going out of town .. and then it doesn't make the guy feel bad. If i am having a good time.. then its all worth it to me... just looking for someone to make me feel that happy again. | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 490 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/6/2007 10:29:26 AM | Women want men to buy them everything because that is all that matter to most. The anesthetic qualities of life. They don't care for the kids, they don't care for men much, they don't care to work, they don't care to buy their own friggin drinks, they care about every other subject except sex. They just don't care. But they will sleep with you if you pay them. It's suicidal, self assassinating and it makes those who practice it look trite and insignificant. You are bought for a price. And you oblige. How more pathetic can you get? You will become as base an immoral as it is possible to be if someone will give you enough money to anesthetize yourself with any and every thing your little heart desires even at the risk of being a whore.
I have been homeless and needing to pan handle to get my next meal. I had well off even wealthy men offer to 'take care of' me. And at no time would I, could I nor did I end up ass up giving them what they wanted for money. I was sleeping under bridges, on the top of elevator shafts, in abandoned buildings and once woke up on a beach with the skeleton of a dead animal feet away from me. I was despondent, down cast and degraded. Still I would not do just anything for money. Yet whores, prostitutes, strippers etc say that it's either that or starve. I would ask strangers for 50 cents. Get about 4 bucks and go to Mc Donalds so I didn't starve. So I disagree. And I know women who live on the street also. So the women who think men should buy them everything are pimps and just want something for nothing (sex with a slut amounts to nothing). And to have no responsibility but to let some freak hump them after he has paid enough. And that is the worse base most depraved human behavior on the face of the planet right now. It's called sexploitation. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/6/2007 11:26:17 AM | I don't care what you all say, I am going to teach my son some
old fashioned values. Never ask a woman for money, for one, and
to always pay her way, and not be a big baby and cry over money
spent!
  I agree. I am going to teach my sons the same. | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 492 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/6/2007 12:51:08 PM | | They better have a big bank account cause I don't see much of any daughters being taught to be genteel even though I was taught those manners and I have never been married and I have no illegitimate kids and baby mama drama. I have always been a gentleman even though the booty was thrown up in my face. You could say I had no business putting myself in this position. But I have been with women who have thrown themselves at me and dam near naked wanting me to do them and I have left and gone home alone without so much as having any sex at all. Because it was pretty disgusting and she wasn't my kind of girl. So you are in one sense teaching your kids moral and exceptional behavior in a archaic, barbaric age repleat with Neanderthal insensitive and careless females. But I would not teach any male child that when he is a man to spend money on taking a woman out. No friggin way. Even most of my female companions agree that we should go dutch and don't have a problem with that. In fact, there is a forum going on right this minute entitled: Buy me dinner, owe me sex. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/9/2007 9:11:55 PM | I think that men should pay for everything because I am a woman! Clearly this is a good deal for the woman.
LOL....to great....I love your posts.
PardonMeMiss,
I was being facetious
And that is why!!
Post 393: Dear me, I can't even quote that diatribe...much to vile. Hun, are you hostile? No raisins in the bran that day? I'm confused. You're old profile was deleted for a lifetime because you are just sooooooooooo...ummmmmmmmm....angry. Is this new person making it OK? I am concerned about your overall well-being. This can't be good on the heart being this....eerrrrrrrrrr...unhappy. Just wondering ???????
Post 396: Hmmmmm someone still hasn't had a spa-day...much needed I must say. ;-)
So as soon as a man decides he doesn't want to foot the bill, most times he will be slandered and talked about like a dog. That is why the women who are considered the most attractive say that a poor guy will never get a girl like her. They are high maintenance and require a lot of attention to keep happy and enthused otherwise they end up leaving for another man who will pay to keep her entertained. So it is a pointed argument. Southern women are more of an exception to the rule. Most I have met are genuine and sweet. Cosmopolitan women from the north are more the gold diggers I have found.
Hmmm. Boy my little poster peer, you have some deep=seated issues. Too bad. How sad for you.
Post 408: Nothing to add .... "Bitter much???" comes to mind, but my husband thinks you have issues I don't understand. He's probably right. I've never seen such hate. I do belive this is profile #2 or maybe #3 from you. Banned camp can suck when you have sooooooooo much hate to get out. I wish we could help you....but hate is hate. It's soul-deep apparently here. Good weeding out tool, sorry for you. Doubt you'll meet that gal here that will take you to Sonic and buy you a banana shake...too bad, that can cure what breaks most hearts.... well, not you ..... I spoke too soon.
Dude, I so wanted to read all your posts, but my sweet king loving man calls and quite frankly, your a downer. YIKES.
OT: I'm happy paying my share. Fortunately, my man doesn't think I have a half. Weird huh? He loves me without bickering about such silliness. I think he's willing to give lesson, it'll cost you though. How sad so much hate exists in one human being. There are probably others, I couldn't get passed the one. Sorry all.
Kat  | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 494 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/10/2007 7:59:34 AM |
Hmmm. Boy my little poster peer, you have some deep=seated issues. Too bad. How sad for you.
Thank you so much for the advice, the insight and the suggestion. You are a fount of information and I just don't know what I ever would have done with my life if you hadn't come along. Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.
The Topic. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/10/2007 5:05:21 PM | i have managed to date and come to the ripe old age of 41 and have the idea of this simple thing...If I invite the fella out....I expect to pay the bill.( I always make it known upfront since i do not drink...I do not pay bar tabs). and if he does the inviting..then he does the paying...Ofcourse even when the fella insists on payign the bill...I at least leave the tip...to me it shows him that I am an equal partner in the dating game...and that i do not feel that he should be entirely holding the financial burden.
I had dated a man who was frugal..I will not say cheap...and i learned an inexpensive way of dating from him....After getting to know each other ...having dinner and cooking for each other is a nice thing...I love having a man cook for me...it shows me what if....And while i cook i also see what if..... If i am cooking and he is sitting on his tush watching TV and basically ignoring me... it isnt a relationship that is destined for greatness....Just as Grandama Rose used to tell me "always offer to help" even if they tell you no at least you offered....and well honestly the togetherness is the important part of the date who really cares what you prepare??
and well a movie from block buster is just as good as the movie theater at 1/10th the price...including the popcorn and if the movie turns out to be really bad you can always find somethng else to do...Besides you can take off your shoes and get a foot massage after a hard days work! you cant really do that in the movie theater | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/10/2007 6:51:22 PM | Sometimes I wonder why women don't pay much more discretion and realize that if men are paying for all her dates and she gives one sex in return for him taking her out, as if it was expected ... that prompts comparisons to prostitution from a guy's point of view. I think that women should agree to pay sometimes or at least offer to at times, if they wish to avoid this comparison. If they can't pay, then there should be fewer dates involving $. A walk in the park is fair.
Anyways ... if it's a love relationship women are looking for, they should pitch in at times to make sure it doesn't turn economic. Or the man should drastically cut back on his expenses. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/11/2007 4:36:39 AM | ^^^^ Well said!
Actually lets not disrespect these free-loading women by calling them prostitutes... Id say Escort.... In all fairness you dont have to buy a prozzie dinner do you? lol 
Its a cash up-front thing....
I know a girl who's married and has NEVER even paid for a drink.....
How bad is that! Whats the difference between that and a prozzie?
Does anyone understand why men resort to thai brides? lol | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 498 | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 500 | |
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