| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/11/2007 5:24:11 AM | Personally I'd feel terrible being out with a man who paid for everything...
Actually Id go as far as insulted....
I work, I earn just like any man... Why shouldnt I pay?...
If my boyfriend wants to say "no, i'll pay for this".. then I make sure I pay for something else when the time comes.. or treat him in some other way.....
Its give and take.... and thats how it should be..... | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/11/2007 3:42:33 PM | "i know not all women are like that but what on earth possesses a person to think they are that special they dont have to contribute to the financial cost of going on a date ?????
just wondering really ?????"
I tried to by my date lunch and he would not let me,,what can you do,,I let him pay | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/11/2007 3:59:21 PM | | If I ask a guy out, I have no problem with paying, but if the guy asks me out then I fully expect him to pay. What ever happened to chivalry? I feel that after a few dates, each party should put 50/50, but unfortunately, some of us make more money than the other so the one that is more financially stable should pay the bill, after all we are gracing them with our beauty, style and company. lol. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/11/2007 4:45:00 PM | ^^^ Oops, you were doing o.k. until you slipped, by assuming the guy made more money.
Edit/Add: Are you saying men should pay a proportionate amount depending on the beauty, style and company of the woman? Like, if she is exceedingly attractive, stylish and witty, intelligent, charming, etc. he pays 100%? Presumably, the scale would slide to a lesser amount based on a diminishment of the female's “offerings.” I only ask, since it seems that you are describing it as a trade or transaction of some sort. Maybe they could publish little reference cards as is done for figuring the tip amount, so that the parties involved can quickly arrive at the proper allocation. | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 506 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/11/2007 5:14:13 PM | | I believe most women are looking for a 'good man' in their version of what they want him to be like, with everything they want in a man including someone to spend their hard earned bucks to make Them happy. And if they don't find someone like that they make the assertion that there are no decent men. And that sophistry would be because no one is willing to do what they want them to do, so saying there are no good men is a way to make guys want to be what they want and it's why they say it in the first place. Cause they still go on looking and test driving men to see if anyone will cater to their whims. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/11/2007 7:00:50 PM | " believe most women are looking for a 'good man' in their version of what they want him to be like, with everything they want in a man including someone to spend their hard earned bucks to make Them happy. And if they don't find someone like that they make the assertion that there are no decent men. "
Money dont make my heart flutter,, I have my own and would gladly go dutch,, not all women are money grubbers. And money sure doesn't define the goodness of a man. | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 508 | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/12/2007 1:20:38 AM | zeter24.. - "
"some of us make more money than the other so the one that is more financially stable should pay the bill, after all we are gracing them with our beauty, style and company. lol. "
Its not the mans fault that you earn less and whats with this "gracing them with our beauty so they should pay crap" ?
Im sorry but thats a shit attitude to have..... might as well be a prostitute.... | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/12/2007 1:40:46 AM | Bona Dea, I do believe you have summed this up very well!
I have studied psychology for a good while now, and it is very true. Women who are out for a free meal are not really interested in the relationship, mearly the presents that she will recieve by being a part of it.
So this is something of a phenomenon called supplication where males believe that affections of a woman should be bought. If you really do want a relationship, try being an equal, go dutch. I know its probably not easy the first time youve got to bring it up with someone over a dinner table, but if you just try come out with it cool as a cucumber when the waiter is there with the bill, how can she refuse?
To further my example, How many times do you see a woman walk up to a man on the dancefloor and demand "buy me a drink"? It happens a lot, and the funniest thing is that most men will actually go and do it too! Needless to say they will not respect him an ounce, and dissapear after a very brief chat.
To clear up any confusion, this does not mean that you should ask her to pay for half of any presents you buy her ;-) | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/12/2007 2:35:14 AM | Dutch is always the way to go until you co-habitate. Then a mutual decision as to who pays for what can be decided. I have no idea as to why this should be so difficult...?
The very last my thing my ex & I fought about was $$$.
If it's that much of an issue, there shouldn't be a relationship. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/12/2007 1:38:27 PM | | I'd be OK to pay my own way, but pay someone else's if they asked me out or if they want to go dine at some five star, expensive place they chose? Guess again... Whoever asks should be the one to pay if that is going to be any issue. Wow, what a way to start to know someone..to bicker over who pays the dinner date bill on a first date. Bet your door is being pounded down for dates with that attitude, Op. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/12/2007 2:04:31 PM |
I believe that how a man treats you with his money is a good indication of how willing he would be to provide as a husband and father. What is the purpose of dating?
I always thought it was to meet someone you liked and wanted to spend time with. I guess I don't go out with the intention of tagging and bagging someone. Husband and father is a bit of a LOONNNG ways away when you haven't remembered someone's last name yet, ya think?
I have no plans to marry and/or spawn, so to me the notion of finding a husband or father based on his willingness to spend money on you is sort of - pre Vietnam War. But that's just me. Since I have no idea, please enlighten me on how a man's spending on strangers tells you how good of a man he'd be in a marital situation? | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/12/2007 2:29:03 PM | | I asked my boys about this very issue not long after getting back into the pond because it was awkward at times offering to pay your part for a meal on a date. Every man I have offered to truly appeared to be mildly offended. I thought it was nice to reciprocate with dinner at my house, which I love to do for anyone who appreciates home cooked food. My kids told me, and my three oldest are 29, 27, and 25, that in their cumulative years of dating, they have only had two dinners prepared for them and no woman has ever offered to pay for dinner. Clearly, the old standard seems to apply - men pay, but I think its nice to offer. If its a date gone bad, I would probably ask for my portion of the check from the waiter because I would not want to be beholden to someone I had no intention of being able to reciprocate. However, I recently read somewhere that men don't like to get home cooked meals because some men think of this as an "audition". So who knows what to think, always someone can second guess your intentions. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/12/2007 2:54:03 PM | | johnnynoname...Men do the same thing about wanting to be treated like the man in charge and equal treatment as a parent with the kids , except when it benefits them to be passive aggressive or remain silent and passive around stuff they dont want to deal with.....Particularly around housecleaning and child care sh.t work thats tedious, exhausting and boring....So it works both ways... Both women and men switch roles on the "equal treatment" thing whenever it suits them | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/12/2007 3:29:57 PM | Tend to agree with neilalagel at first glance. If the feeling is mutual that we both found one another to meet I'd say dutch is fine especially if we found one another on a site such as this.
Nothing more impresses me than to go out on a regular date expecting to pay and she steps up asking to split the bill or this one is on her. I like it when the money factor is a mute item. A relationship, married or not shouldn't be decided on money. We all know one of the main causes of breakups co-exists with finanical matters. Such a shame! Let's be honest and open with all aspects of dating as that will help to form a foundation. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:16:19 PM |
The very last my thing my ex & I fought about was $$$.
If it's that much of an issue, there shouldn't be a relationship.
I can not understand why people fight over money. If you are married the money belongs to both of you regardless of who makes more and should be shared. Not thrown away on foolish things just because one desires more materialistic. Love should be the basis of any relationship and that means putting your spouse before your self, yet not taking crap from them. As far as buying dinner is concerned, I feel if I am asked out,then he should pay for dinner, as he invited me. If and when I ask some one out to eat or for a home cooked meal I will pay for both. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:38:30 PM | [If I ask a guy out, I have no problem with paying, but if the guy asks me out then I fully expect him to pay.]
And I'd like to hear how many women actually ask men out to be put in a position to pay for the evening. My guess is very few.
On a side note, if many women on these forums actually took the guys' thoughts and opinions into consideration when evaluating a good woman, they'd find there are just as many (or few) good women as there are good men. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/14/2007 1:40:20 AM | ^^^ Well said....
Ive just left the Mail order bride forum because it was getting really insulting....
Its full of men slagging off western women who are money grabbers 'n' gold diggers...
Ive been on their trying to justify that not every woman is like that much to no avail...
Women on here who are free-loaders and expect the man to pay for everything just because he earns more (or whatever pathetic excuse)...give people like me a bad name..... and thats why there are men in the Mail Order bride forum slagging you all off!
It makes me SO angry.... put your hands in your pockets and pay for something for once!!!!!!
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mizbex
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Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 523 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 9/14/2007 3:52:00 AM | ^^^^bona dea^^^ Bravo.
Women who expect men to pay for everything, in my book, are pathetic.
I make as much money as a man and in a lot of cases more so. I happy to pay for dinner, drinks or whatever the activity. Now I need to go over to the mail order bride forum, for some laughs. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 12/20/2007 2:08:49 AM | Dear Ready to mingle.
I don't do the 'go out to dinner and who will pay trip' but I do have opinions on it.
Have you noticed that men can go out out anywhere in jeans and a nice shirt, or T-shirt, and tend to do so, while women go to a lot of trouble to dress up and like to look good for a man. (Yes, I know. Men look good in jeans and T-shirts).
While I would turn up for a date in a loin cloth, I have actually nocticed that other women spend money on a new outfit, shoes, hair do, even bloody manicures and facials.....
Can you add up?
I will help..I won't exagerate . Outfit $100 shoes $100 Hair $80 Other $100
Of course it could cost more. Or the lovely lady may have been on a date the week before and just double up...
Fact is women would be better off buying friut and going jogging.
Not instead of going out to dinner.
Instead of spening money on all that crap. I
f they were fit and healthy they could go in a loin cloth, sheepskin or even a mat off the floor.
Getting back to my point. Women spend a lot of money to go on a date, the least you can do is pay for the food and drink.
Ravin Mad | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 12/20/2007 1:52:33 PM | [quote}I don't do the 'go out to dinner and who will pay trip' but I do have opinions on it.
Have you noticed that men can go out out anywhere in jeans and a nice shirt, or T-shirt, and tend to do so, while women go to a lot of trouble to dress up and like to look good for a man. (Yes, I know. Men look good in jeans and T-shirts).
While I would turn up for a date in a loin cloth, I have actually nocticed that other women spend money on a new outfit, shoes, hair do, even bloody manicures and facials.....
Can you add up?
I will help..I won't exagerate . Outfit $100 shoes $100 Hair $80 Other $100
Of course it could cost more. Or the lovely lady may have been on a date the week before and just double up...
Fact is women would be better off buying friut and going jogging.
Not instead of going out to dinner.
Instead of spening money on all that crap. I
f they were fit and healthy they could go in a loin cloth, sheepskin or even a mat off the floor.
Getting back to my point. Women spend a lot of money to go on a date, the least you can do is pay for the food and drink.
Ravin Mad
So by this logic, if a woman is too lazy to take care of herself and has nothing more to offer than being 'showy', the man is obliged to pay. That's ridiculous! Dating is supposed to be about getting to know someone, not a trial of one-upmanship or justifying who pays.
Bewildered | |
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