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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 12/20/2007 9:23:52 PM |
I will help..I won't exagerate . Outfit $100 shoes $100 Hair $80 Other $100
Are you really suggesting that a significant number of women will buy new shoes for every date? That's the most bizarre thing I've ever heard! | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 12/20/2007 9:42:05 PM | | I thinkit's a generational characteristic. When I was young men made a lotmore money than women and it was customary for the guy to pay. Old habits are tough to break. I could count the number of dates I've been on where the woman paid on one hand! In marriage or live-in relationships, it's always worked out that our incomes were kind of a communal chest though. So then, everything was proportionate to how much we both made. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 12/21/2007 2:06:50 AM | just don't go to the "most expensive restaurant", that's all.
there are many men who try to impress the woman by taking her to a luxury place. that's bad for 2 reasons:
- shows in fact he wants to "buy her love"
- not natural. the focus is on the event, and not on the people.
better to date under "normal circumstances" | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:05:21 PM | Hey I think for the first few dates.....going Dutch..................50/50!!!!!!!!!! Then the tables can turn here and there........ As its only diplomatic way of doing things, if they think otherwise, dump them.......for someone with no issues and problems. Otherwise these are red flags already if they don't agree.  This is my last post on the system, as I have met a awesome woman....best luck to all!!! | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:04:59 PM | in most situations men are happy to pay, -if we asked you out -there's obviously some captivation, we want to impress her, shower her with affection, warmth and gifts. however being EXPECTED to pay just of our gender really puts a damper on the situation, as well as his feelings to question her real intentions. (does she think im a warm blooded person -or just another swinging d!ck with a gold card, she cozied up to for this evenings food and entertainment)
its been beaten into our heads the party who asks one out is usually the one who gets stuck with the tab (which is usually the man) -since a fair number of women expect the man to do all the initial calling, asking, paying, opening doors, pulling out chairs, giving up his coat if she's cold, run downstairs with a fireplace poker to fight the strange noises that go bump in the night... (-so much for equality in the sexes) not that we dont love fawning all over her, -we just want her to feel like we are doing it out of pure emotion, love or infatuation -not just cuz some frustrated archaic ladies dating manual damand its our soul responsibility as the male.
leaves the female species looking a bit two faced when they march for equality and fairness, however fall back and demand to be treated like the weaker sex (whenever convenient for them).
-but then again who doesn't want to have their cake and eat it too. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:37:18 AM | I believe in reciprocity for sure....however, I do expect to be treated extremely well. I would also expect to treat soemone very well in return.
Depending on the type of relationship, monetary exchange is one type of contribution-Genuine generosity is a character trait..not to be taken advantage of. If you have good energy....you usually have a good flow with these things.
I have an old fashioned streak for sure.....if I am going to adore you, cook, clean, entertain your friends and family and trapse around doing the things you (and we love) then I think it is pretty difficult to put a price tag on that.
I can't imagine breaking down my salary and producing a bill for what I am currently paid at work...if I did, then my man would have to be doing well to afford me, lol.
You give what you get...in a healthy relationship, platonic or otherwise, you need to be aware of a balance.
I am wary of a man who fears being taken....I would guess he is cheap in areas that go FAR beyond his wallet.  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 6/14/2008 4:10:08 PM |
I don't think a man should pay for everything. When I meet a man for the first time, all I want is 'coffee and conversation' to see if we are compatible. Coffee is not that expensive, so either could pay. If we continue to date, it works out equally over time. Sometimes, the date is my treat. Other-times, I cook for him at home, which can be expensive. And if we go on a picnic, I pack the lunch basket. If a man is worried that he spent more than I, or vice-versa, then it's time to stop seeing each other. I don't think dating should be a financial burden on either party.
Best response I have ever read EVER. Men and women are equal but different and most men would enjoy something like a dinner/picnic more. It ensures both are planning dates, and works out pretty evenly money and effort wise. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 6/14/2008 4:53:02 PM | just don't go to the "most expensive restaurant", that's all
That is not always possible. With my last partner for the first date I chose a small restaurant with reasonable prices that I could cope with if necessary, he took one look at it and decided he didn't like it and preferred the one next door which was far more expensive.
For this date I felt uncomfortable and worried about the cost of the food as it seemed that money was no object to him ... but it certainly was to me! I needn't have worried, in the year that we dated I never had to pay for a single meal out, or anything else for that matter - he would insist. I would cook for him, sometimes buy him chocolate, he never brought up the financial imbalance of the relationship - sometimes I would mention it to him and he would say that he really didn't care about it at all. You don't when you love someone. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 6/14/2008 4:59:57 PM |
That is not always possible. With my last partner for the first date I chose a small restaurant with reasonable prices that I could cope with if necessary, he took one look at it and decided he didn't like it and preferred the one next door which was far more expensive.
For this date I felt uncomfortable and worried about the cost of the food as it seemed that money was no object to him ... but it certainly was to me! I needn't have worried, in the year that we dated I never had to pay for a single meal out, or anything else for that matter - he would insist. I would cook for him, sometimes buy him chocolate, he never mentioned the financial imbalance of the relationship - sometimes I would mention it to him and he would say that he really didn't care about it at all. You don't when you love someone.
Of course not, its always the man getting the worse end of the deal. And women generally don't make up for it other ways either so it matters to those who aren't chumps. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 6/14/2008 5:03:59 PM | man getting the worse end of the deal
What do you mean by this?
Do you mean that by having a year's loving relationship, an aspect of which I was not expected to pay for a single thing made him a 'chump'?
Of course I would disagree. We had a wonderful time together. What I was trying to say was if you love each other, these things really don't matter - you find a way. His way was that he felt happy doing what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it, and part of that was paying for it. Not only did he feel that this was right, the lifestyle he expected could not possibly have been funded by me, even at half the cost.
On his birthday I secretly booked a hotel for us to stay, my treat. He didn't want to go and I had to obtain a refund after this dismissal - I remember feeling a bit hurt at this as I wanted it to be a nice surprise. He took me abroad instead, his choice. Part of my 'deal' was that I just had to go along with his wish. He was extremely fussy and particular about things and felt happiest when things were under his control.
Not all men are the same, but there are many men like this - they don't tend to crow about it - which suits me. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 6/14/2008 5:27:58 PM |
Not all men are the same, and there are many men like this - which suits me.
You mean chumps who cater to women. Must be nice for you. Wish there was a female equivalent though.
-since a fair number of women expect the man to do all the initial calling, asking, paying, opening doors, pulling out chairs, giving up his coat if she's cold, run downstairs with a fireplace poker to fight the strange noises that go bump in the night... (-so much for equality in the sexes) not that we dont love fawning all over her, -we just want her to feel like we are doing it out of pure emotion, love or infatuation -not just cuz some frustrated archaic ladies dating manual damand its our soul responsibility as the male.
leaves the female species looking a bit two faced when they march for equality and fairness, however fall back and demand to be treated like the weaker sex (whenever convenient for them).
Smart women realize that if he gets sick because he gave up his coat she will have to deal with man flu. Many women don't want a man's coat, not because of equality but they don't want to deal with a sick man which can be very tiring. Both going downstairs ensures the safety of both parties.
There is no reciprocation is male-female relationship. Never has , never will be. Women "love" (although they probably only have the capability to like) based on what you do for them , while men love (real love) based on who a woman is. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 6/14/2008 5:32:57 PM | Apart from being very much in love with him, I certainly did not control him in any way, and he in no way fawned to me.
I was never permitted to choose my own meals, he always chose the timing of things, sometimes horrendously difficult, he would spend up to an hour looking at the winelist refusing to talk, he could be incredibly fussy, particular and pedantic ... everyone has their own foibles. He really disliked me to take the initiative with anything that he felt was his responsibility and this included the financial direction of the relationship. In fact he would make me feel uncomfortable if I tried to reciprocate.
I can't really see this turned on its head and a man submitting as I willingly did. I chose to. I wanted to. In a year we never had one argument and the sex was frequent and fantastic. Who cared if it wasn't 'politically correct?'. We looked for approval from no one except ourselves.
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