| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/29/2006 7:37:09 PM | We are talking about dating here. Not living together. That changes the scenario you keep harping on.
Assume here that you both live in your own seperate houses.
Migirl, judging by your posts, and your completely negative generalizations regarding men, I would say you have had bad experiences with men in your past and that you have probably made several bad choices regarding the men in your life. That is the only way to explain why you have such strong negative opinions about men.
I am sorry your experiences have not been better with men. There are plenty of us out there that are good people, responsible fathers, and great partners. I really hope that you find one of us. I really think it will make you a much more positive person. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/29/2006 8:48:18 PM | Well migirlhere, it's too bad you have such a horrible opinion of men. If you call me a cheap loser because I pull my own weight around the house as well as financially, then so be it. There's nothing that anyone can say to change your apparent hatred of men. Perhaps you feel threatened by those of us that can actually cook and clean?
The last woman I dated invited me over to her place, so that we could cook a dinner together. I ended up buying the groceries, did 90% of the cooking, and did the dishes after. Yeah, sure sounds like I'm a cheap loser. There was nothing together about it, except that she was there watching me. Needless to say I'm not seeing her anymore, since I'm looking for an actual partner, and not a child.
Some of you are taking this equal thing a little too far and fact is you're the one's who don't do your equal share.
So, you're telling me that doing my fair share is too much, and then you're telling me that I'm not actually doing my fair share, because no doubt, you know what kind of person I am in real life seeing as you spend so much time at my place. It's unfourtunate you carry these generalisations and stereotypes, because no decent guy would have the patience to put up with your bitterness, in order to change you outlook.
Sure when they live alone they may have no choice but to do those things or pay someone, but as soon as they get a woman, it's all over. Most of the time a bachelor's place is a royal mess.
You're saying that single guys clean only because they have to, and then you say that they don't actually clean because they are single. So which is it? You might want to work on the logic of some of your arguments. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/29/2006 9:03:14 PM | Sauberf1, you are too funny. I absolutely love how you took on the role that we women have by going and buying some groceries, cooking the dinner, then doing the clean up. Then you comment how you don't see her anymore because you're not looking for a child. LMAO That is too funny! Do you know how many times we as women have our men over for dinner and do all that? Good lord, give me a break! LMAO Maybe all men should do that once so they can see why we women refer to them as another child to raise. And I love how you did it once and never want to experience that again. Thing is, you did it once and you'll talk about that and bring that up the rest of your life how she didn't do her share. LMAO again. I'm thinking she let you do all that because you made yourself out to be the super guy that you're not and she wanted to see what you were about. Guess she found out that you're all talk. And per you comment above I was referring to things like washing a glass to drink out of because all the dishes are dirty. In that case they have no choice but to do it. Or doing a load of laundry because they have no clean towels. Does everything have to be spelled out for you to? LMAO  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/29/2006 10:18:57 PM | Sauberf1, you are too funny.
Thank you. At least you have a sense of humour. You're pretty funny yourself.
I have no problem treating a woman to my home cooking (always have, and always will), but when she invites me over to her place to cook something "together", I kind of expect a joint effort. This would be the equivalent of your story, where the guy asks you out, then expects you to pay. She asked me out, then expects me to do all the work. It just dosen't fly. If I had invited her to my place, different story altogether.
Do you know how many times we as women have our men over for dinner and do all that?
No I don't, because I cook more for women than they cook for me. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 4:11:12 AM | | Wow, sounds like you'll make a great housewife someday. LMAO I'm thinking that you're gay, you're not here looking for a man or a woman i see. Are you having trouble deciding what you are or want to be? Now if you're talking about a gay relationship then you are absolutely correct that the housework may get divided. Guess we should specify the circumstances in which we are talking about in the forums. In that case, I will appologize for the confusion on my part. And any person male or female who actually believes that BS that men and women are equals are idiots. And as for the comment about stop dating hookers. What i'm picking up from that is you guys think it's ok to pay for the dinner and the hotel rooms for hookers but when it comes to someone you actually want to date or a possible relationship you expect them to pay equal. It's no wonder you have to pay for hookers. Also this is a free dating site, not a free dates site. Some of you were confused when you read it, maybe try reading it slowly. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 6:55:26 AM | | First of all I think this question is an insult to all women. Most women like me do not feel that way. I have always felt quite the opposite. I wish men would quit putting so much emphasis on possessions and quit acting like money is all that matters. This is the reason I have so much trouble with men now. I diffinitley don't want a bum nor do I want a big spender. I always want to pay my own way and I can sense a guy who is worried about his money. It makes me sick. I personally would spend my last dime on my ex if it would have made a diffence about how he felt about me. I was the one who bought him more expensive gifts and he had much more money than I did. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:09:23 AM | migirlhere its all... "me, me, me!!!" where your concerned. Are you single ? i wonder why seen as your such a well adjusted, generous and kind hearted human being. I think most men would prefer a hooker to a moaning, whining self centered, self obsessed mare !!!
Your the kind of person who is never happy no matter how much a man does for you !
You have obviously met some men who were plain lazy, there are men out there who do clean house and cook and pay for dates, some of us raise our children single handedly at the same time !
What your basically saying is you dont want a partner, you require a slave with a large wallet 
Its women like you that make men hate the dating process !!
I'm not a penny pincher by any means, If i ask a woman out i would expect to pay for the first date, her making a contribution without being asked would be a welcome surprise and would probably make me warm to her, just the offer would be nice, but to just expect to be treated like royalty because you have a vagina is just wrong whichever way you want to look at it.
I think maybe you should go back to a different shrink and talk about your past relationships and the way you look at men. Maybe you will find out that men are not all bad and learn how to treat them properly 
Neither sex is all bad, you just need to stop trying to treat men like doormats and grow up a bit, nobody likes a spoilt brat 
I started this thread because of people like YOU ! | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:17:08 AM | patty, its not an insult to all women, it started as a question hence the question marks at the end of the sentance.
If by asking the question i have offended you i apologise, this topic was never intended to offend, it was to find an answer to a question that has vexed me for a while. maybe i should have titled it "some women........etc" for the oversensatives amongst us. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 7:27:17 AM | | If a man asks a woman out on a "date" then he should pay for it. If not, then it is not a date, period. If he doesn't want to pay for it then he should ask for a "hang" or a "hookup" or something. The man also has the option of selecting where, which allows him to stay within his means. If he can't afford a "date", he can always invite her to his place or for a walk in the park or something. Asking someone on a "date" is no different than inviting someone to eat over at your house. You don't expect them to show up with all the ingredients, and then cook it for you, too. You asked them if they wanted to eat, not work. Reciprocation is the choice of the invitee. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 9:19:07 AM | I don't think men should buy everything and when it comes to dating it should be who asks the person out should treat...I went out once by invitation, the guy was like where would you like to go to dinner I would like to take you out on a date. I was like ok, it was after work and I didn't want to really want to go to a "nice" place (and wanted it casual) so I suggested we would go to this pub downtown. The drinks are always good and the food is excellent and all moderately priced. I was there early and paid for my first drink while i had waited, he was 1/2 hr - 45 mins late and didn't call. He sat down at my table and proceeded to order a drink. After about a 1/2 hour of conversation it didn't seem like he was interested in food. So I said it has been a pleasure but it is getting late (maybe I should have said I need to leave I am hungry) anyway he said oh let's get some food. Long story short after all that he stuck me with a $40 bar tab... I couldn't beleive it and he wondered why I never called him back...
I think if you ask someone on a date you treat other than that it is shared..
My one male friend we split our costs as much as possible and yes I do hold the door open for him and I also help him with a jacket it is only polite and nice gesture as I would like someone to help me with my jacket :>) | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 9:53:20 AM | Mr Right is absolutely correct, that's self extermination the way I see it.
It's not the actual cost of a date that's important it's how you present yourself. That's what most women will look for, whether you pay 40 bucks or 100 is neither here nor there.
The operative word here is being a gentleman and knowing how to treat a lady.
Of course if you're serial dating I imagine you would want a woman to pay since it can get expensive right!!!!!!!
PS: Feminism came into effect for the right to vote and equal pay for equal work it doesn't mean we turn into men and men turn into women. Just in case someone uses that lame excuse for us paying and doing your job plus ours for good measure. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 10:01:41 AM |
are a gentleman under threat of extermination these days
Sometimes I wonder!
OK here's my take. If a woman asks a guy out, she pays. A lot of men have trouble with that concept though, especially those born in the 1940s and 50s.
If a couple have been dating awhile, any lady truly worthy of the name will try to find GRACEFUL ways to reduce the impact on the gentleman's wallet if he is a man of modest or just average means.
To the OP, if you are talking about dating one person for a lenght of time I can somewhat understand your issue. But if you are dating a new woman every weekend, then it's your expense, unless SHE does the asking. Ladies take note of that. If you want to be modern,liberated and equal, and ask a gentleman out, then it's on YOU to pay the tab.
Cindy O | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 10:10:23 AM | | Chris I treat my men better than you treat your women and that's obvious. I cook them dinner every night, make their plate, and serve it to them also. I do all the shopping, all the laundry, all the cleaning, and if they like to take their lunch to work I fix that also. I also know that most men's jobs are much harder than womens and when they've had their dinner I will even give them a massage if they need one. I go out of my way to please my men and in return I expect to be wined and dined at least once a week and would never pay for that. When I was dating my ex he too me out almost every night to nice places and he paid for everything. In return I took care of him and spoiled him in the way women are susposed to take care of men. And yes, I worked too. So don't tell me that it's all about me because it's never been all about me. And again if you ask someone out on a date expect to pay for it, period! I guess when you're invited to your families house for Thanksgiving you give them money to contribute to that also. Or do you expect a free meal because you were invited? LMAO Give me a break! | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 10:18:32 AM | I think the first date should be an equally shared expense. By being at a mutually agreed upon venue (avoids the whole lobster taste vs. fish'n'chips budget), no one is put in the awkward situation of dating beyond their means.
If a couple have been dating awhile, any lady truly worthy of the name will try to find GRACEFUL ways to reduce the impact on the gentleman's wallet if he is a man of modest or just average means.
This is very aptly put, but I would extend it to all scenarios, regardless of timeframes and income. Sometimes graceful can be difficult, but that's where good communication skills come in, and honesty is important - if it's out of your budget, just say so. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 3:37:27 PM | | Read the posts Bill, I was referring to his whinnig about his previous post regarding his bills and child support. Who cares that he pays child support and bills. We all have bills and I was just letting him know the his measly child support does no where near cover the expense of raising his child. Yes I agree, stay on topic and keep you bills to yourself. What is he looking for anyways? Someone to pay equal share of his bills too? Maybe you could use your scroll and go upward, as you have jumped to conclusions more than once on this thread. Maybe try getting a second job if you want to date. And for you to actually think that men and women are now equal tells me you're a moran. I'd hate to get an invitation to any of your houses for Thanksgiving dinner, good lord you'll be selling tickets for admission. Talk about losers. It's called Thanks"giving" not Thanks for "contributing your fair share" Same applies to dates, if you're asked to go you should not expect to pay. LMAO I should have known all the cheap loser guys would be on the free dating site looking for free dates. WTF | |
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| silly one liner???
Posted: 10/30/2006 3:45:35 PM | | they think that because they are pretty, men should pay. what crap. its a complete turn off to find meaness in anyone. no second chances for any woman like that. me fein. | |
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| bullshit????
Posted: 10/30/2006 3:47:54 PM | | watch him dust. what the hells that got to do with anything. silly bloody comment. the cheap losers are the women expecting everything for pure MEANESS. equality my ass. me fein. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/30/2006 4:11:42 PM | Folks........ I believe the parameters of this discussion are this:
- We are not assuming a live in relationship. That changes everything entirely and is another discussion.
- We are not talking first dates or infrequent dates with the same person.
I think the heart of this discussion should evolve around the committed relationship where a couple expects to be together all of the time. Where weekend dates are assumed as well as maybe some weeknight activities.
We all know the gentlemanly assumption that the man pays for the dates or that whoever asked should pay. However, times have changed and we should at least look at this discussion rationally and with an open mind. | |
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