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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 10:54:01 AM | Yeah right, goldie and her golden shoes doesn't look like a gold digger to me. LMAO It's too funny that you're trying to impress the tad poles in the mud hole. Looks to me like you'd rather have your nine course meal than do any talking but anyways, as ladies we all should have manners. Buts that's not to say we should say please and thank you to the tad poles who ask a lady out on a date, then walk around with calculators in their pockets to divide the bill. Please Please Please pay an escort if you're that desparate for a date, Thank you!  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 3:17:20 PM | | I think all first "dates" ought to be meeting for a quick drink. Then nobody has to spend $100 on dinner. Personally, I would never agree to dinner at an expensive restaurant on a first meeting, unless the gentleman agreed to split the check. If two people agree to date, I think taking turns picking up the check makes sense. I did have one guy invite me to meet at park once, because he couldn't afford Starbucks or a glass of wine, and that was a no go for me. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 3:37:13 PM | No body I know would refuse to foot the bill on the first few dates. Among other things those first few dates can tell you an awful lot about your prospective partner, their spending habits and how they view their lady. After thise first few critical dates, you should have had some basic communication and have an idea of how the financial map is laid out.
Any man that continues to date a woman that demands he outspend himself is a candidtae for serious therapy. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 3:41:06 PM |
Sorry, but a woman likes to feel special, to be called 'My Princess'; to be put on a pedestal and worshipped and adored, lavished with fine silks, exotic perfumes and diamonds and pearls (and chocolate). And that's why you're in here huh?  Honestly! What planet are you from???
Your post was a joke.... right?
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 4:13:16 PM | Feeling special and appreciated = Spending money?????
Seems that is the new equation here. I never realized that all of the other things that I did in a relationship to make her feel special, wanted and adored are negated if I don't spend enough money on her.
I have never had a problem spending money on the woman I care for, or even one I am just starting to date. For some strange reason I thought it was the other things that I do that truly mattered. Being thoughtful, considerate, helpful, appreciative and truly being interested in her and her world are all things that I thought showed how much she is appreciated.
For some reason many women in this thread are starting to equate being appreciated and feeling special with a man spending money. I thought we had evolved past that. I thought that as people that have all obviously loved and lost that we would have an appreciation for what truly matters in a relationship rather than this superficial issue we are dealing with now.
I guess I have a lot to learn or some expectations to adjust. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 4:14:48 PM | The women who think men should have to pay shame me. There are many of you out there... too many in my opinion.
The men who think a man should pay empower those women instead of showing them the door to reality.
I don't want to be someone "princess" or "taken care of". I'd prefer to be self-reliant and independant and be respected, loved, and appreciated for that.
But I guess it does take all types since there are men out there who want that kind of "princess". If I was a man I would personally find it exhausting to have to live up to some old-fashioned and outdated "idea" of what a man or boyfriend should be from someone with such biased and selfish ideals.
We fought for equality, and that's what I want, for better or worse. Whoever can afford it better should pay more. To me that is fair.
And I agree, difference is good. And I suppose it's a lot easier to believe when you're the "princess" on a pedastal who doesn't have to worry about life's harsh realities such as paying for meals or other bills. Now, when you're the one holding up the pedastal, difference doesn't look so friggin wonderful.
You can have difference AND equality at the same time... if you're strong enough to handle it. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 4:20:44 PM | Bill 200,
I extend my apologies. I felt attacked, so I countered.
Regarding all of this discussion, I wish I could recall the title of a move that I saw, where there was "the door test." When you are out on that first date, and you open the door for her, does she think enough to unlock your door for you? That makes a lot of sense, and rather shows whether she is entirely self-centered.
I remember the kid gleefully telling his older friend that she unlocked the door.
I also recall an encounter during a long solo road trip at a small diner, where a man was crying into his cup of coffee and I was just resting a moment. After hearing his tale, I advised him, that there are Givers and there are Takers. The Givers never find each other because they are too busy giving to the Takers, and they feel guilty doing the taking. The Takers never find each other for obvious reasons, there is nobody giving and nobody to take from. And when a Giver gets into a relationship with a Taker, they are always going to be taken from and never get anything back in return.
Then also there are Givers that only give with the expectation of a "return on their investment."
On that note, going Dutch works for me, but then again, I can always take myself out and not deal with all of the drama or expectations either. I will reserve additional comment, because I know that I will only be jumping out of the frying pan and directly into the fire. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 4:40:31 PM | Posted on Michelle's profile>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> But one quick note: I'm not looking for anyone right now... at least not on POF
One of Michelle's interests posted>>>>>>>>>>>Salle Mae is a Bith **corrected (bit_ch)
Hmmmmmm well the first one I can understand and agree with totally. But good lord, what are you some sort of princess that calls Salle Mae a bit_h because they were kind enough to give you a loan for your education and you now have to pay it back? So you refer to your creditors as bit_hes? Sounds like someone who wishes to be a princess and have everything handed to her to me!
And who said women are wanting expensive dinners on a first date anyways? What moran would even do that? I did see that one OP had mentioned a 9 course meal. WTF is a 9 course meal anyways? Good Lord, go to Ponderosa if you're that hungry. I had originally posted in mine Starbucks for coffee.
Princess, don't you ever pay for your own meal, stop with that nonsense. You're absolutely right you can go out and buy your own and so can I the same. Hey we could go out together and sit at the next table over from the tad poles and laugh at them when they get out their calculators. LMAO Princess, I'm a giver also. The givers contribute to feed the hungry not the tad poles. | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 135 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 5:13:06 PM | Diamond necklace = $4,200
Dinner at Les Nomades = $400
Someone to wrap his arms around me and hold me tight = priceless
MichelleRenee, excellent post. Women today should be able to take care of themselves and as a rule treat themselves well and appreciate themselves and not expect a man to take care of them, or make them feel special. LADIES, if you don't know you are special all on your own, no man will ever be able to buy you enough stuff or take you to enough 5-star dinners to convince you. It comes from within. I think there are a lot of women who define their worth by what a man will spend on them or what they receive as gifts, I am sorry to say this about my own gender but the truth of the matter is a lot of women can be bought and are just not motivated enough to create the life for themselves that they are expecting some man to hand to them on a platter.
For all the times in my life where men have made me feel special and appreciated it had very little if anything to do with money. It involved things like making me a new pitcher of Crystal lite if I was out, running a bubble bath, bringing me some cheese from out of state that I really enjoy, bringing my dog a toy, or jumping on a plane to be with me when my Dad died. Something very meaningful, because those small (and some not so small) things show men listen and pay attention to you and your life and what is important to you.
Last year I was in the train station waiting for my train and was wearing a diamond necklace, the man behind the counter said, "boy, someone must really love you to give you a necklace like that" I replied "yes, thank you, I do love me., "now if I just had someone who put his arm around me at the movies, I'd be all set." He was shocked. It's not about the money for me and I am sure not for a lot of women, we just want someone who will make us a pitcher of Crystal Lite once in awhile.
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 5:27:02 PM | Hmmm. I compliment a poster and he uses my words out of context -- but then maybe he wasn't referring to me. Sure hope not.
I used the word-- Appreciation --meaning I appreciate and thank my date. I don't see how that could have been misunderstood. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 5:38:48 PM | Mizbex, and here we go off topic again. I have taken care of myself and my 2 daughters for the last 14 1/2 years and we have lived quite well thank you. I don't need a man to provide for me either! I gave up 14 1/2 years of my life and still counting because when I was 8 mo pregnant with my youngest I found out their father was a child molestor and had molested my 3 year old daughter who is now 16. I chose to stay alone because I found it hard to trust men around my young daughters and chose not to date or have any around. My daughters have never seen me with a man. Good lord, If a childs own father would do this anyone could and I wasn't willing to take that chance. I put my life on hold and have spent the past years protecting them and making sure no one would hurt them ever again. I chose not to date either due to most men think when you go out with them or sleep with them they suddenly own you. So don't any of you dare call me selfish and a taker! I have always given to charities and helped others also. I put myself through school to be able to provide for them and I pay Salle Mae also, but I am thankful for the loan I was given from them to get my education. I'm also thankful that I make good money and am able to pay them back. I certainly don't think they are bit_hes! You're absolutely right it's the little things that we women want. I've missed the hugs and cuddling the most, all we need is love. I was just getting to the point where I thought it may be safe to date, as my girls are almost grown, but joining this site has made me realize that life alone is not so bad! I did not join this site looking for money or free meals either, Thank you! I have my own house, my vehicle is paid for, and my girls also wear designer clothes. Again, don't you dare call me selfish and a taker, as I would never invite someone somewhere and ask them to pay! So bite me tad poles, if you have mouths!!  | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 5:47:32 PM | [I personally think the one doing the asking should pay! If I take you to a restaurant of my choice, it is my place to pay!
That should be the way it is determined!]
To liesha1017....
What situations/scenarios would lend themselves to you asking the man out?
I think a lot of girls use this line of reasoning because they are RARELY put in a situation to do any asking out. Instead they drop hints on their man so HE does the asking and then she can use this excuse on him to place the financial burden on his shoulders. There's a term for that sort of behavior......it's called manipulation. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 6:16:09 PM | | Hmmmmmmmmm Guess we shouldn't wear skirts or walk past you either because that's when your mouth drops and you start to drool. Is this what you're referring to as dropping hints and manipulation? Guess we should walk around it sweat pants and bagging clothes so that we don't manipulate you into wanting to ask us out. I'm certain women don't approach you saying they are hungry or would like to go to the movies. Some of you probably think that if we talk to you at all that we are dropping a hint. I've been single for a decade and a half, by choice, and I'm still not desperate enough to ask any man out and I don't go to bars either. I'm going to find a place where I can meet a real man. You tad poles are morans! | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 141 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 6:41:31 PM | Mygirl4, I am sorry for your situation, more than I am willing to go into in this forum. And now we are about to go WAY OFF topic. Alot of women have been hurt in their lives by men, including fathers, relatives, husbands etc... (as have a lot of men) Believe me when you go through something like that it is hard to trust men, any man. But I promise you that all men are not like that and you are keeping yourself in a prison by thinking that all men are like that. I know you won't like this but you are not exposing your daughters to any positive male role models or showing them how wonderful a relationship between a man and woman can be. They need to learn that and they need to see it. Children live what they learn. I am sure you have worked hard for your girls and that is admirable. But for yourself and more importantly for your daughters, teach them what love is and what trust is, and how to function within a relationship. I know how hard it is but in the end it will be worth it. Do it for them. | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 142 | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 6:54:43 PM | My girls have been given more love than alot of children in homes with spouses. They don't see fighting and arguing and they have helped me wrap many gifts for those more unfortunate and they know the joy in giving also. My girls will grow up knowing that they can survive on their own if need be as they have seen their mother do it. They won't grow up thinking they need a man to take care of them as well.
Newandunready, you are and you know how to spell it too! The spellers the feller! LMAO | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:10:05 PM | Mygirl, wow! You are completely off-target and unnecessarily venomous. I'm not even really sure what you're argument is because you're all over the friggin place! You're attacking anyone for anything that they say and taking most of everything out of context, then have the nerve to call US morons. You better turn that finger around and take a good look at yourself. Your attitude is outrageous.
You think you have me pegged as a princess because I said in my profile that Sallie Mae is a bi_ch? What do you even know about my experience with them? NOTHING! Maybe 10% interest on your student loans isn't a big deal for you, but it is for me. I don't like it but I pay it on my own. I don't let someone else do it for me. And I've had several other problems with Sallie Mae (like when I learned I had no grace period and had to pay as soon as I graduated when I still didn't have a good job). I really shouldn't have to even explain it.
You are way out of line.
And studly23 I t5hink does have a point. Many women also believe that a man should do the asking out. So if women think it's up to whoever does the asking out and they believe that a man should ask them out instead of them asking him out, it's kind of like the same things as saying he should pay. When he said "hint" I think he meant saying things like, "Oh, I love that restaurant" as you're driving past instead of saying "Hey, wanna go there sometime?" I've noticed women do this, as well. If you're going to ask a question, wait for the answer instead of foolishly assuming you know what a person is talking about.
And asking a man out is not a desperate act. It just shows you're not held back by fear or social taboos. Maybe some people are not secure enough to do it, but a wonderful few are. How prejudgemental of you to think any women who asks a guy out is just desperate?
By the way, expecting a guy to ask you out is certainly a trait of a "princess" character if you ask me.
You chose to be single? Well good for you because if you ever change your mind you'll see that not many men are going to want you with an attitude like yours.
Sheesh, you need need personality makeover. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:17:19 PM | I been single for a decade and a half...
I'd say there is a good posibility you will be single for another decade and a half. Haha. When are people like this going to get a clue?
I have my dates come to my house and I cook for them. (Yep, they will do it.) I don't mind spending money on a woman, but to be honest, after getting a good dose of the women out there the past year or so, I laugh when I hear and see guys pouring money all over the place. If you can't get them to come to you for the first date, you need to work on your approach. They will do it.
If I like a woman and see something good in her, then it will be my pleasure to spend money. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 7:24:58 PM | MichelleRenee,
You're absolutely right in your analysis of what I meant by "hint."  This type of behavior occurs often so women (and some men) can deflect the responsibility for their sudden urges. I'm not saying this is right or wrong but don't come in here and claim you would be financially responsible if you asked someone out when you KNOW you would never put yourself in such a situation. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 8:10:42 PM |
If you can't get them to come to you for the first date, you need to work on your approach. They will do it.
No woman in her right mind will go to a mans house for a first date. Too dangerous. It is silly to spend a lot of money when first meeting someone. Meet for coffee or eat at a fast food place which doesn't cost much. If you do ask a lady out and want to see her again, pay the bill. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 8:28:11 PM | No woman in her right mind will go to a mans house for a first date. Too dangerous.
Sorry, but they will. And I beg to differ with you as to their mental health. All of them have been quite sane and Ladies. You are simply paranoid. I have had several balk at first, but that is all, they come.
Funny thing, I notice it is mostly the pro egalitarian, pro diversity, "brotherhood of man," One World, sensitive, nonviolent, democratic, Liberal, open borders, we are all the same, types who are the most frightened when it comes down to dealing with the *real* world. Yet here I am, called many names and booted off many forums, but I can manage to get a woman to come to a strange man's house and enjoy herself and leave without incident and on her own power. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 8:51:50 PM |
You are simply paranoid. I have had several balk at first, but that is all, they come.
Funny thing, I notice it is mostly the pro egalitarian, pro diversity, "brotherhood of man," One World, sensitive, nonviolent, democratic, Liberal, open borders, we are all the same, types who are the most frightened when it comes down to dealing with the *real* world.
Paranoid isn't the right word to be used here... it's more like careful. It IS dangerous to go to a strange man's house. Although I also believe it's just as dangerous for him to come to your house. And that IS the real world, my friend. Sometimes it can be scary. That's why it's a hell of a lot smarter to play it safe in situations that could turn out to be ugly.
Now I'm not going to judge the women who came to your house, but I don't think they were acting very safely. If a guy tried to convince me that he was a good guy and that I shouldn't be afraid to come to his house, I would be that more wary of him, and I'd also lose some respect for him because it's obvious he has no respect for me and my approach to safety. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 10/31/2006 9:05:33 PM |
If you do ask a lady out and want to see her again, pay the bill.
While I may decide to offer to foot the full bill for many different reasons, if it's a requirement for me to do so in order to have a chance to go out on a 2nd date with her, it makes things rather simple for me. I won't want to see her again.
I'm looking for a partnership of equals, not to provide a free ride to complete strangers. | |
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