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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 4:27:07 PM | "Another thing is that dates don't always have to be about the bill. Perhaps he makes more than she does, so when he takes her out, its a fancy restaurant and a movie... but because she can't afford that, she'll cook a great meal at home or pack a great lunch and have a romantic picnic in the park and then a coffee and a slice of pie at the cafe for dessert.
If the dates and the time spent together are all about the money for you, then there are definatly going to be problems ahead... If you enjoy spending time with the person and think that they may be "the one", then please dont let the matter of who pays ruin it for you. Just have a good time and be blessed that this wonderful person has come into your life!!"
Very well put Simply_green!! More people SHOULD look at dating in the same fashion as you do. | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 177 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 4:46:50 PM | A man should pay for the first few dates.
Hmmmm I disagree, maybe 50-100 years ago.
Equality has its price, you either split it or who ever does the inviting pays.
If I invite someone out I'll pay, or at least offer and when I've been invited out the other person has offered, I offer half, they insist to pay all of it, I'm happy.
If it's ever an issue or even comes up in conversation your bait is picking up the gold diggers, just fish in better waters.
If there is ever an "expectation" from either side that has anything to do with money then you better start talking about hourly rates and what service you are getting......
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 4:49:29 PM | The last guy I went out with and the last time I went out with him, was because he asked me out to Dinner to celebrate his birthday, and then disappeared in the bathroom for half an hour when the bill showed up. He could not understand why I put a quick end to the date, nor wanted to go into his place for a night cap. It should be noted that this was the first time he had asked me out to dinner, after he had been to my home for food and beverage a few times. Not too mention he asked me to pick him up and do the driving that night too............
Geez, I had even given him a birthday present.
I you ask someout - you should expect to pay. If you want to have her pay her share ( like the infamous Timmies date ) then ask her to meet you somewhere and be clear up front you are going dutch. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 4:54:48 PM | Yes I think men should men everything. If not maybe I should give him a tab when he eats at my house? How much should I charge for Lasagna, Chicken, Steak on the Grill, Ribs, beer, iced tea, etc...
Come on people get real... | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 5:01:28 PM | That's the way we were taught. It was an insult to a man if you even offered to help bring home the bacon. That's why women treated men so good. They had the time & the desire to make their man feel like a loving king. You get what you ask for. I worked all my life & ended up supporting everybody......dumb. I'd rather be sailing around the Carribean than worrying about going "dutch treat". 2 different types of people.  | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 181 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 5:35:50 PM | LadyC4, you crack me up, sack lunch.
MichelleRenee another excellent post. As a woman who works very hard and can pretty much take herself anywhere she wants for dinner, I find it a sad state of affairs when women are still depending on men for anything in regard to money. OK, if you are a stay home Mom, I get it, because that is the hardest job in the world, the only thing that I think would be harder would be a single working mom (or dad).
Honestly, this is 2006 you want to vote, you want to make as much money as a man, you want to climb the corporate ladder to the corner office, but you gripe about buying a man a meal? Whether it be 1st, 2nd or 43rd date, I ask you, how much is it worth to you to find someone special who you are compatiable with and have the potential to share a life time of happiness with, can you put a price on that, apparently for some it is equal to the price of a filet, but hey to each his own. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 5:40:38 PM | There is another forum right now "who pays for dinner" which is pretty much the same thing. I have a wide perspective on this topic because I am a 37 year old woman, but I go to college, and have a lot of friends 18-25. I have posted on the other forum a few times over the last week or so, and have questioned both my younger, and older friends. The majority of the people I talked to here in Dallas, Texas agreed to the following:
1. Whoever asked should pay, but it is still usually the man who asks.
2. When you meet someone for the first time you should plan to meet for coffee, or drinks, and its NOT a date, but a meeting, and everyone pays their own way.
3. If the man asks the woman on a date at that point he pays.
4. Usually the man pays for the dates until a relationship is established, and then the woman also chips in. She also takes the man out sometimes, buys him gifts, makes him homecooked meals etc.
Now you ask why does a man pay for the first few dates:
It has NOTHING to do with traditional values, or women feeling entitled. We have ingrained in our genetics certain things that attract us to the opposite sex. In the beginning women were attracted to men who could hunt,kill, and bring home the most food, build strong shelter, and fight off threats. In this day, and age we no longer have to hunt for food, but simply run to the store when we are hungry. We no longer build our own houses, but pay to have them built for us. Most threats these days are handled with attorneys, and not fists. The one thing all of these things have in common is that they are carried out with $$$$. When the man pays it makes him more attractive to us. We feel cared for, and like the man can hunt the food, build strong shelter, and fight of threats. When the man wants us to pay it makes us feel like we are on our own. In other words if a big guy comes up our date is going to take off running, and leave us standing their to fend for our selves. Womens lib, and equality doesn't change what we instinctively look for in a man.
I have never had a man ask me to pay. I always offer, but the man insists, and this makes me happy. It pleases me not because I just saved $10 (which I had in my purse anyway), but because it makes him bigger, and more attractive in my eyes. If a man ever asked me to pay it would make me feel that either he didn't like me, or that he wouldn't be a good man for a relationship.
Now after a relationship is established there is more equality of finances. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 5:43:56 PM | You sound like a predator
You sound like you have spent way too many weekends alone, sweetie. Your anger and frustration really shine through. Perhaps you are simply angry that no man wants to invite you to his home, let alone into his life. Try a kinder approach to people. Learn some social finesse in your dealings with the opposite sex and maybe you can get a date one day before you really do fall to pieces into a heap of angst and regret. Pay some attention to women who can get dates and maybe ask for some advice on how to go about approaching a man without repelling him by your present strong negative outlook. I am sure there may be hope for you yet.
As things stand now, however, I have a strong feeling you have nothing to worry about from neither the rapists of this world nor the desperate. So you might as well add a few more words to your vocabulary for men in addition to "disrespectful, overbearing, brainless," for your shrill diatribes.
You're going to be very lonely in this life if you maintain your ugly outlook and don't learn to keep the less attractive, less appealing side of you to yourself. | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 185 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 6:12:45 PM | Coolpeach, I need to understand this, when a man pays for you he becomes more attractive in your eyes? So the richest guy gets you? I really need some clarification here.
I always always always offer to pay, split whatever on a date. Never been taken up on it. However, I have cooked many a meal which I financed and felt pretty darn dandy about myself and my cooking skills and being able to share them with someone special. It a word, it also made me feel empowered and respectful of myself that I am able to finance, prepare and serve a meal to someone who not only enjoyed my cooking but also appreciated my effort. I have never felt empowered or better taken care because a man bought me a meal, when he cooked me a meal that is a different story.
Protection, I have a BIG DOG and she is all the protection I need, not to mention if a man ever laid a hand on me he would be very sorry and probably walking funny.
I cannot tell you the last time I was waiting for a man to take care of me, wait no, when I had to change the battery in my smoke detector and could not reach it, yes a man saved me, the very nice man at Home Depot who sold me that ladder that I could climb to change my own battery. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 8:43:45 PM | Mizbex,
It doesn't matter how much money a man has nor did I imply that it did. It simply matters that he is willing to pay the $5.00 for my cheese sticks at Applebees. I hardly think that it implys he needs to be rich. Just like it doesn't imply that I am unwilling to feed myself (which I do the other 11 months, and 29 days of the year). We are talking about 2 or 3 dates here, and if a man doesn't have much money he can invite you to a picnic, a $ movie, a walk, or even to his house for a home cooked meal. I found your comment rude, distasteful, and full of hostility.
I appreciate that you have a big dog, can change a smoke detector battery, and cook a meal, but that has nothing to do with what we were talking about. Please reread my post.
I am not waiting for a man to take care of me either, and I manage just fine. I hardly think a man paying for cheesesticks is considered taking care of you. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 8:56:12 PM | This is from ASKMEN.COM
Paying Etiquette: Who Picks Up The Check?
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One of the touchiest dating issues today has to do with money: Who pays, the man or the woman, and when? Once you're knee-deep into a relationship, you'll have worked out what is best for you as a couple, but in the meantime, it's tough to know what's expected of you.
Typically, men today are put into a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.
Some women are insulted if men always insist on paying. It may make them feel as if they are being bought or patronized, as if they can't afford to pay their own way.
On the other hand, if men don't offer to pay instantly, some women will think that they're just being cheap or ungentlemanly.
It helps simplify things once you realize that when it comes to money issues, there are only three possibilities:
you are expected to pay
she is expected to pay
both parties should split the bill down the middle
There are a couple of general indicators determining which of these three options is taking place. Once you've learned them, you'll be more than prepared to handle any tricky dating scenario.
you should always pay...
On first dates
First impressions are important -- on most first dates, your best bet is to make the first move when the bill comes, and if she shows no sign of resistance, to go for it. This goes not just for the very first date, but throughout the early stages of the relationship. Paying for things is not just the gentlemanly thing to do; it also indicates that you are responsible, steady and well-established. Women like that; it helps them decide whether or not you are relationship-ready.
If you asked her out
A good general rule when it comes to these situations is to ask yourself, "Who asked who?" If you instigated the date, then you will be expected to pay. In fact, it's good to be prepared to pay, regardless. Nothing looks more pathetic than a guy's sheepish expression when he doesn't have enough money with him to cover the charges; and in today's world of credit and debit cards, this shouldn't be an issue.
On special occasions
For special events, such as your anniversary, her birthday, holiday dinners, or even just to spontaneously celebrate her achievements -- like being hired for a new job or getting into law school, for example -- you should offer to pay. First of all, it makes you appear gracious and classy. Secondly, it's a great way to show her how proud you are of her. Just remember that the key is in the delivery; don't make a big show of your largesse by letting her know how much a meal cost. What a tacky move! Simply smile and say "This one's on me, honey." | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/2/2006 11:53:38 PM | In eight pages of posts, CoolPeach has ithout a doubt covered the subject as well as the previous seven and a half pages.
Just to add my two cents.
The last relationship I was in started out with lots of conversation before we ever went out. Because we took the time to learn a little about each other first, I found out that she was not in a position to split anything, and that was fine with me. A few months later, she was on sounder footing but I usually paid when we went out. But, conversely, I often stayed at her place (long drive home, wink, wink) but she made breakfast and sometimes lunch. Seemed like a fair trade.
And she did take me out on my birthday and she paid for everything, even though I offered to at least split. She wouldn't hear of it. Made me respect her even more! | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/3/2006 12:29:51 AM |
And if a cup of coffee isn't a big deal, why couldn't you pay for it yourself?
Well sir, I can pay for my coffee but men I date are not to too cheap to buy a cup of coffee, lunch or dinner for a lady. And no I do not expect to have to pay for food if I have been invited to dinner. If dates continue I will cook a meal rather than go out to eat because they generally prefer home cooking.
Pray tell me someone what does the right to vote, or doing a job equal to a man have to do with a woman paying for half the food? I think it is just another cop out men use
to use a woman.
Let me see if I have got this right!
#1 She picks you up to save your gas.
#2 a lady either buys or cooks your dinner.
#3 Then she buys or furnishes dessert.
#4 She leaves the tip.
#5 Then she buys or furnishes a nightcap.
#6 She drives you to where ever you are going, your house or hers.
#7 She buys the condoms because you are too cheap to buy them too.
#8 If she does all this she is either brainless or desperate.
#9 He has no respect for her and is using her. No man has respect for an easy women.
#10 All I see on here is about people living together, could someone tell me what happened to marriage and morals? | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 190 | |
| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/3/2006 4:33:14 AM | | Coolpeach, it is very nice when a man buys you dinner or cheesesticks, I agree. However, I don't think that is a good barometer on which to measure a man's worthiness for a relationship or to determine how much he likes you. I am sorry you found my comments rude and distasteful, however I was trying to understand your point of view and the comments in your post imply that you feel better not only about the man, but about yourself, if he pays and it makes him a better man in your opinion. Frankly no one should be judged on their worthiness based on their financial situation and no one should base their self worth on whether or not someone will buy them cheese sticks. Just my opinion. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/3/2006 4:44:11 AM |
My rule is this. Never dinner on a first date. Coffee and dessert or something like that. I feel that if I take a woman on a dinner date the first time out and I cannot stand the pig before the appetizers come, why should I have to look at that beast for an hour or more while I eat? Its bad for the digestion.
Anyway, whenever a you break off or take a break from a woman, she has a new guy between her legs within a week anyway. Most women now will sleep with anything and that includes animals or whatever they can get to feed that thing between their legs. So you might as well allow them to carry some financial burden on dates.
Some women are losers and are very cheap (finacially and sexually lol)
...........wow. I'm in shock. Is this guy joking? If I wasn't on the net I would never have known people like this existed. Kind of like National Geographic, we really get a lesson on human nature here, don't we? I have to say that this one was extremely educational. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/3/2006 5:35:24 AM | | They figure that if they have to be seen with you, then they might as well get something out of it. Try dating women other than those you meet through an escort service or those of a similar level of attractiveness. Stay in your own league and your problems will dissolve. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/3/2006 6:53:20 AM | CraniuMT,
Thank you... I am glad you get what I am saying. I think while things have changed in this day, and age it is still possible for men to act like men, and women to act like women.
I don't really understand the folks who keep bringing up equal rights. I get to vote, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be treated like a lady when I am with a man. I get to work, but who does this benifit. This benifits my father (who is a man), and doesn't have to support me until I get married. This also benifits my future husband (who is a man), and has a financial partner when we marry, and doesn't have to shoulder the full burden himself, and it benfits our children (some of which will be men) to live a better life style because I am able to help their father contribute to their life. There was actually a man on the other thread who stated that because we women refuse to allow men to hit us anymore we have to pay our own way. Geeez ..If most people don't know this already its NOT ok to hit anyone regardless of their gender, and I don't think that is a good argument.
Woman and men should have equal rights (right to vote, support themselves, not be beaten, raped or imprisioned). I have a hard time understanding why some men feel angry that we are allowed what I condsider very basic human rights. Even our pets have the right not to be beaten, raped, and imprisioned. This being said the fact that we have equal rights does not imply that we are the same we are like apples, and oranges. Men and woman are different physically, mentally, chemically, and emotionally. We are all equally good, but different, and should be treated as such.
I am strong, and can do what needs to be done out in the world, but when it comes to my love life I want a man who makes me feel feminine. Just like a man who has maybe had a hard day at work, and tells us all about his horrible day, and how he felt. We don't say that now men have the equal right to express their feelings they no longer deserve to be treated like men. Instead we stroke their ego, and make them feel manly again (because they have as much of a need to feel manly as we do feminine), and send them back to work to fight another day. The things that seperate men, and women their differences are assets not weaknesses, and should be embraced, and enjoyed.
I personally find it cute that a man can rule the world, but can't remember to put the toilet seat down (though I don't like falling in).
Its really adoreable when you guys get lost, but your so prideful you won't ask for directions. That determined yet lost look on your faces kill me.
And when you approach another man, and you put your chest out, and lower your voices slightly before shaking hands to say "Iam the man".
I could go on forever. The point is this I love you men, and wouldn't change a thing. So why is it so hard to understand that a man paying for the FIRST FEW dates makes a woman fell womanly. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 195 | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/3/2006 7:04:28 AM | | I look at it this way,,,,I ask you out....I pay....You ask me out....You pay...Unless I want something that has an outrageous price....then I will still pay.....that way I am not beholding to you. I hate feeling like I owe any man for anything. I just plain feel better about paying for myself. | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/3/2006 7:12:43 AM | My rule is this. Never dinner on a first date. Coffee and dessert or something like that. I feel that if I take a woman on a dinner date the first time out and I cannot stand the pig before the appetizers come, why should I have to look at that beast for an hour or more while I eat? Its bad for the digestion.
Anyway, whenever a you break off or take a break from a woman, she has a new guy between her legs within a week anyway. Most women now will sleep with anything and that includes animals or whatever they can get to feed that thing between their legs. So you might as well allow them to carry some financial burden on dates.
Some women are losers and are very cheap (finacially and sexually lol)
UMmm all I can say is....we know why he is on here huh? This guy has some issues dont ya think? Talk about a woman hater...Jeezzzz | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/3/2006 7:21:18 AM | I think it's good manners if a gentleman asks a girl on a date that he pay. And it's even better if the girl offers, and just doesn't 'expect it'. I must admit I had a bit of an 'issue' with guys paying because when I was still in high school a boyfriends mom accused me of 'dating him for his money' which is quite funny because I had a job and he didn't, and just because his parents had money, didn't mean that he paid. If we went to dinner, I usually paid. Or he was out of town and he called, it was collect, I paid. And when your 17 and working a part-time job, that stuff gets expensive. When she accused me of this, I made it my goal never to let a man think that. So I started paying all the time.,which can lead a girl into trouble as well. My ex, whom I had children with, was a boneafid leach. And I started it. I'd pay for dinner, if he was low on cash, I'd offer to 'lend' him some money. But when someone the next week tells you, "Oh I'll get it to you soon, I promise, I just had this and that.,yada, yada" I had the tendency to say "don't even worry about it'.
SO I never let a guy think that I'm 'using' him, however it usually ends up being the other way around. However I do have friend who go on dates JUST for free dinners/drinks because they are low on cash that week. I'd prefer to stay home.,but to each his own I guess! | |
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| women and why they think men should buy everything ????
Posted: 11/3/2006 7:23:27 AM | OMG, Any body talking about pigs, must be wollowing in a mudhole.
I think CoolPeach's analysis explains it. It all stems form the prehistoric hunter/gatherer junk. If you can't go out and bag a critter for her, the next best thing is take her to a restaraunt.
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