alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 26 | |
| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/28/2004 3:22:13 PM | wow otters you are wowing me today....
we come in to the world weak crying needing love and affection and to be cared for. We die weak needing love and to be cared for. Now tell me...if you didnt have ppl around you that you love and who loved you wouldnt life be very lonely?? | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/28/2004 3:35:01 PM | | my point exactly alura.. one of the main aspects of a relationship is,or at least should be ,companionship as this counteracts the fear of being,living and dying alone..and i say relationship in the most broardest sense of the word.family,friends and lovers alike make are time on earth worthwhile..a loving relationship makes the journey through life a whole lot easier | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/28/2004 3:36:18 PM | Dear Merlin,
It isn't that there is anything inherently "wrong" with them, it is simply that after a while, it becomes mechanical to be only interacting with someone on the level of "pleasure seeking." Sexual seduction is far more than just the physical, real chemistry involves the mental as well. Men often don't "get it" when it comes down to it. Besides, unless you are one of the unlucky minority who has actually never been in love, come on, admit it, the sex with someone you love is soooo much better than anything else... anything less is boring as far as I am concerned...
If you are just looking to get laid, and if that is clearly all that you want, then be sure to upfront and completely honest about it. Some women might be looking for just that. However, keep in mind that if you continue to sleep with a woman for a significant period of time, she may start to get attached to you, and you may have to break it off. Don't pull that "...well..I told her upfront" bit, if you know someone feels something more for you than you do in return then you are using that person...bottom line...
by the way...after much deliberation with my lady friends...we have all come to the conclusion that men who have slept with a LOT of women are usually very bad in bed...they just go through the motions..
that's food for thought...
larissan | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 29 | |
| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/28/2004 4:07:07 PM | | hmm good point....if a guy is with alot of women..he is bad in bed. Probally because the lady dumps him and moves on..so the guy goes on and on trying with next and the next and the next. I may be wrong but sex is best when you are doing it with someone you love hands down. | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/28/2004 6:02:16 PM | I have nothing to add here, but I just wanted to say I'm amused that there are only two threads here and when you read them together it says:
"Whats wrong with sex based relationships? What does it take to make one work?"
;^)
- Jordan | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/28/2004 8:23:52 PM | Dear Larissan,
You write such a lovely letter. If you had read all the posts in this thread, you would have read that I started this thread in jest and don't actually believe the crap about basing relationships on sex (however the occational one night stand is rather nice).
You also need some education on men though because you made me laugh damn near all the way thru your letter. WOMEN need all the romance, anticipation, caressing, etc, and if a man loves and respects the woman he is with will give that to her so she can feel complete and loved. MEN need about thirty seconds of a naked body and are ready to go. All the rest of that stuff is work for men, not pleasure. When you find a man that does all that stuff for you, APPRECIATE IT! He's worked his a$ off. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 33 | |
| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/29/2004 11:54:09 AM | lol. yup all it takes is for a woman to strip... boing there goes the third leg and lets go!!!
but soemtimes a wom,an can have a 5 min quickie..but after all we really really love to be carresed....to be pamperred stroked..kisses..massaged every once in a while. For 3 godam years it was 10 min sex for me. A kiss a stroke lets go..5 min sex ,orgasm ok..night ....zzzzzzz i didnt have 2 hour or 3 hour marathon sex until he was gone and i gained a fuk friend. I had forgotten what it was like to go for hours and to have gooooddd loooonng fantastic sex. i guess a newborn who wakes up makes you go fast and get it over with before he wakes up kinda killed it sigh. | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/29/2004 12:06:05 PM | "MEN need about thirty seconds of a naked body and are ready to go. All the rest of that stuff is work for men, not pleasure"
Nonsense, my boy.
You don't know many men, do you? Because it takes a lot more time than that to do it for quite a few of us. Define "making love". Most men OR women might say, "that means 'having sex'" The true meaning of 'making love' is vastly different to me. Sure, it might end up with lovemaking - but there's so much more to it. It's those lttle things that you do and say to your partner....a smile in the morning, a quick kiss, a compliment, a caress, whispered affection, holding his/her hand - dozens of things you do with your partner throughout the day, and they ALL come under the category of "making love" - and all that contact and communication of love can spell absolutley mind-boggling sex when it happens. So we 'make love' to our partners all the time. Sex is simply part of the equation. And sensitive, caring men want a hell of a lot more than 2 minutes in the sack totally out of the blue, when there's just So much more. There's a name for sex like that - it's called "The Zipless F*ck" and I don't think much of it at all. | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/29/2004 1:07:40 PM | | Sorry Diolacles, I had to go look at your pro to see what gender you were since I couldn't tell from your post. Then I noticed that your old and from Canada which explained alot. I was refering to men with balls. I should have been more specific. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 36 | |
| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/29/2004 1:31:17 PM | hmm merlin have you ever made love to a woman??? i thought not...
and dio..beautifully said.
merlin that wasnt very nice. canadians rock....and old doesnt mean shit it means they have experince i nthe ways of the world and you could learn alot from them. | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/29/2004 5:15:11 PM | Merlin: Well, maybe if you were the REAL Merlin you could conjure up some maturity - since you're sadly lacking lacking in that department. Grow up, Junior.
And thanks Alura - Canadians think Americans rock too, believe me. | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/29/2004 7:36:51 PM | I could never have quick sex. That is just not fun at all. If merlin thinks that everything after the man is shoots his load, he is only in it for his greedy, little jollies. The "wham, bam, thank ya ma'am" type. For me, it has only been good when sex goes for a while(over 45 minutes) when the body gets that adrenaline pumping through the bloodstream. Nothing is better than a good adrenaline rush!
Second to that rush is pleasing your partner. Seeing them orgasm is another great rush. But you have to last more than a few minutes to join the club. Our motto is "Yes ma'am, you are welcome!" | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/29/2004 8:49:21 PM | | okay guys, I give. I do owe dio and the Canadians an appology. I'm sorry. Got home from a bad day at work and I was still fired up a bit. Please forgive me. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 40 | |
| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 4/30/2004 1:24:57 PM | | its ok.. and thanks for saying sorry. Just that you dont want to make enimies in here...this place is too big.. and there are so many ppl to attack soemone. | |
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Ender
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Joined: 2/1/2004
Msg: 43 | |
| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 5/1/2004 12:14:25 PM | Ummer is really amazing me with his ability to post idiotic, unspecific, grade school level comments.
ON a side note though....I will repeat this. Sex based relationships are fine and even very helathy...but only as long as it is understood by both parties that is what they are. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 44 | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 5/4/2004 3:05:06 PM | | i knew this guy once and we had something going like friends with benefits kinda thing and i knew that but later i found out he didn't and it bothered him from now on i either tell the guy what i'm interested in or find out what hes interested in and then make a decision | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 46 | |
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rjn40
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Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 47 | |
| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 5/5/2004 8:57:07 AM | | Nothing is wrong with a sex based relationship if thats your thing. Not for me tho, there has to be more. Everyone is different, we all have different taste, ways, and wants. I myself like knowing that I can still name every woman I have ever been to bed with, and can count them on one hand. But thats just me, and I dont think it would be right for anyone to come down on someone just for there personal preferences on how they want to spend there sex life. If it makes you happy, then go for it. | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 5/5/2004 5:31:34 PM | | The problem with sexual realationships is that you get a false sense of Chemistry and love. Its the same old "wake up the next morning and your head over heels for each other"...if the sex is incredible. I got into that 16 years ago and ended up getting married. I have never had sex as good with anyone as it was with her...she felt the same way. Now here we are 16 years later with a child and just got thru going thru a divorce. The problem was that we have no common interests whatsoever, fought all the time, and basically are sick of each other. The sex was still good....but thats all there was and thats not enough. It all started with phisical attraction, and great sex...thats the definition of love at first sight. Nothing is wrong with a sexual realationship but you have to determine if you are REALLY compatible before you go further...take it from me...a guy who lost 16 years on that bullshit. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 49 | |
| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 5/6/2004 11:47:38 AM | oh man thats awful..... well for me it was 9 years..lots of awesoem sex..we were kids together. Then having children...growing up marriage the whole kit and caboodle wasnt his forte" He wanted his freedom...he wanted that 19 year old me back again.buti grew up we grew so much apart..sex was the only thing keeping us talking to eachother. But yah we hated eachother at the end.
so 2 kids later and separated for 2 years...almost al of my 20's wasted on him. | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 5/6/2004 2:12:07 PM | I had something similar happen to me, but without the kids.
And just to weigh in on the topic... I've had sex-based relationships before, and in my opinion, sex with love is sooo much better. Keeping it spontaneous and new is required, but c'mon... that doesn't sound like work to me. intensely passionate love-making is great... but laugh-out-loud, silly romping is even better, especially when you truly love eachother. | |
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