| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 11/12/2004 6:55:34 AM | | well some people are like that.. but i always say if your just going to have sex and the man really doesnt care.. at least get paid for it.. may sound harsh but at least the women is not getting used! but most of the time the sex never lasts and stays great so if you like multiple partners that all agree to the arrangment than i guess it would be ok! | |
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winn1
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Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 78 | |
| Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 3/8/2007 1:25:12 PM | Well I'll share my view here To me sex IS NOT SEX it is an amazing pleasure I don't think you can reach the ultimate with sex SEX requires a much deeper trust and emotion. It feels so good so alive and becomes strength within self Exceptance beauty, gifts and much to cherish. I prefer not to sell myself short on anything and anyone that life or living has to offer
Just my thoughts
Bonney | |
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| Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 3/8/2007 1:34:57 PM | I still say it all depends on the individuals concerned and what their individual priorites and values are.For some it works,others it leaves empty.
There is a sizeable population of folks that clearly cannot or will not want another person in their life on a permanent basis.Yet they still crave the physical side of sexuality.The lone truck driver,the career woman with no time for a full time mate.Must these people live celebate?To them a sex based relationship works.I've known divorced couples who can't stand each other on a daily basis,but get together soley for sex and live separate lives.I think it's a bit presumptuos and narrow minded to say there's something wrong with them and their relationship.
People value sex differently and use it differently.There is no one size fits all here. | |
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winn1
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Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 80 | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 3/9/2007 9:50:33 AM | I see nothing wrong with a sex only arrangement (a sex-only relationship is an oxy-moron) as long as both want that type thing. A lot of times one does and the other doesn't but goes along with it. It's not the sitatuon that's a bad thing but the fact that people aren't honest about what's happening and what they can handle when starting something like that.
Both women AND men are capable of getting into these things thinking something will change. Bad move, but they bring it on themselves. And once the sex goes bad regardless of the situation, why would you stay if it couldn't be fixed? Means at best its a symptom of another problem, or at worst, it's stale.
well some people are like that.. but i always say if your just going to have sex and the man really doesnt care.. at least get paid for it.. may sound harsh but at least the women is not getting used!
I wish people would quit assuming a woman in a sex only relationship got talked into it against their will like a victim. All women aren't always getting used, some are actually ok with it. Same with the OP assuming women always get emotionally involved and men don't - I have seen many scenarios that would make you reconsider. Many women use and many men get frustrated trying to make it more than it is. | |
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 3/9/2007 3:25:09 PM | Love is quite real. For a while, I had my own wonderings about its validity, but one day after visiting my great grandparents (great grandfather is 98, great grandma was 92 - she just died Christmas eve) my great grandmother had to be taken to the hospital because she had fallen and fractured her spine. As the paramedics were taking the gurney out of the room, she made them stop in the living area and called to my great grandfather. He hobbled over to her and held her hand, and she told him she just wanted to kiss him goodbye and told him she loved him.
All my life, I've seen my great grandparents interact with each other in such a way. At that age, it's not about sex. Only a great, rare love can keep two people together for so long.
At her funeral, he sat quietly with tears running down his face.
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Tarika
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Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 86 | |
| Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 3/9/2007 3:25:22 PM | Some people (both male and female) for what ever reason don't want a serious relationship...so who are others to judge their needs and wants. If two people have the same needs etc. and are both into a more sex based relationship...what's wrong with that???
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| Re: Whats wrong with sex based relationships?
Posted: 3/9/2007 4:05:48 PM | Thanks, ashton....
That was a beautiful post. All my life I've hoped to experience that kind of love. Volunteering in a seniors' home has given me some insight into what it takes to have that kind of unwavering commitment and caring. One couple I know used to hold hands all the time, whether they were walking down the hall or enjoying a party. Sadly, he has preceded her to his heavenly rest, but she still holds on to those memories.
Back to the OP's question. Many years ago I was in a "relationship" that was purely for sex. I longed for it to turn into more, while he still held on to the hope of getting back together with his ex. Before it ran its course to the point where we were both itching to end it, I walked away and stopped answering his calls. Sex without love is fleeting and meaningless to me. I want the real thing!
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