| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 4/28/2007 3:53:26 PM | Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider, and sat down beside her and said
What's happening ****? LOL. | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 4/28/2007 4:59:53 PM | there once a man in nantucket
whos tool was so short he could pluck it.
he gave it a whirl
and became a girl
he doesn't even have to tuck it
haha dumb variation: down: | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 4/30/2007 12:58:14 PM | ^^^^^^^ ^^^^^ 
there was a man from goshem
who took out his balls to wash em
his wife said jack
if you dont put em back
i'll stamp on the f*ckers and squash em
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 4/30/2007 5:07:51 PM | 
tired black pimp who ate glass
and farted them shards out his ass
his cellmates would come
see the twinkle in his bum
as TJ got to sleep at last
European Gigalo remember?
that 1 was good haha | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/3/2007 6:38:18 AM | there was a woman from leeds
who swallowed a packet of seeds
within the hour
her bum were a flower
and her tits were dangling with weeds
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/5/2007 5:39:52 PM | bum were a flower
there twice was a woman from leads
who loved to rub up on the trees
she got covered in sap
but didn't get clap
and the hard wood would never decrease
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/6/2007 11:06:43 AM | the leeds lady has had a run of bad luck i'd say
little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
eating a mystery sweet
along came a spider who sat down beside her
and whipped out his little meat
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/6/2007 5:29:23 PM | THE DATE FROM H E L L
There once was a date from h e l l
Which felt like a very bad spell
All the things that he did
She wished she had hid
But now in this poem she will tell.
He said he'd be late and he was
He was later than that "just because"
She thought it was rude
But chose not to brood
And so on with things that he does
So then he snapped at the server
She knew that this man didn't deserve her
But she bit on her lip
Drank her c o c k t ail sip by sip
And prayed he'd no longer unnerve her
But he chewed with his open mouth gaping
Which she thought to herself needed taping
She just looked away
But wanted to say
His manners needed much shaping
As he went to the washroom six times
She thought "isn't he yet out of dimes"
It's either the beer
Or coke snorting here
Or the food has nasty enzymes
Her napkin dropped and as she leant
He commented as she bent
That he'd looked down her top
Her heart did a stop
She'd had enough of the torment
His calculater exposed with the bill
He added and subtracted until
She offered to pay
And wanted to say
What happened to dating goodwill?
So now as the date comes to a close
She's breathes sighs of relief as she goes
Out to her car
Gets her door ajar
And scores this date among the zeroes. | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/7/2007 6:22:02 PM | There was an old maid from Wooster
who dream't that a man tried to seduce her
but when she awoke
she found it a joke
for a lump in the mattress had goosed her. | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/7/2007 6:24:32 PM | In the garden of eden sat Adam
with his hand upon the ass of his madam
he chuckled with mirth
cause he knew on this earth
there were only two balls, and he had 'em. | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/7/2007 6:25:56 PM | The captains daughter Mable
whenever she was able
would give the crew
their daily screw
upon the galley table | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/7/2007 9:43:06 PM | Bubba-- liked the Eden one , only two balls & he had em.....
The only dirty joke/limerick my mother ever told me
There once was a young man from Kent
Who had one so long that it bent
So to save him the trouble, he put it in double
So even when he came, he went. | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 1/12/2008 4:02:38 PM | Jack & Jill went up the hill
So they could do some kissing
Jack made a pass & slapped her @r$e
& now his teeth are missing.
Spider spider in the bath
how your antics make me laugh
if I see you climb the chain
I turn on the tap & you slide down the drain.
Mary had a little lamb
it was stupid it was true
it followed her in a traffic jam
& now it's mutton stew.
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:02:41 PM | There was a man from Dundee
who invented a w@nk!ng machiene
on the 21st stroke the poxy thing broke
& whipped up his knackers like cream. | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:48:16 AM | | the night was dark, the moon was high, we where together just u and i. her hair was smooth her body fine, i ran my fingers down her spine. with all my courage, i did my best to put my fingers onto her breast. i trembled with fear i felt her heart, i slowly spread her legs apart. i knew i was ready, i didn't know how. this was my first time MILKING A COW! | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:52:53 AM | Now what shall ya do with the milk you produced?!!
Pasteurize with heat
then drink
Add a little chocolate to make it a treat!!!
I couldn't help myself.........pardon!!!............... | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:28:53 PM | Thanks for that it has truly made my night, I was starting to think people didn't read my posts.
Don't have any limericks today but look in my forum new talent as I have some cool poems. | |
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| limerick masterpieces!!!!
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:31:06 AM | Well, your welcome and just let'n ya know.....................I read everything....lol
Not a day go's bye
View'n all the water's waves
Some slap'n up on the shore
Some of Folklore!!! | |
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