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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 4:43:55 AM | "how we view the defination of the word 'obey' nowadays goes to show you just how much times have changed (shrugs shoulders)"
I'm so glad you said that Whitetigress.....I've actually waited for this thread to pop up sometime.......
Please see how Websters defines the word "OBEY".......because how you SEE the word OBEY is exactly how you will respond to it.........positively or negatively......To know the exact synonyms involved in the word 'obey' as how it applies to marriage is to actually guarantee the SUCCESS of your marriage.....
OBEY
1 : to follow the commands or guidance of
2 : to conform to or comply with
intransitive verb : to behave obediently
Notice the word 'guidance'....that is the correct form in a marriage.......most people get stuck on the word 'command'...and if you're stuck there...you're in big trouble.......also notice the words CONFORM, COMPLY, BEHAVE, and OBEDIENTLY........
CONFORM
1 : to be similar or identical; also : to be in agreement or harmony -- used with to or with
2 a : to be obedient or compliant -- usually used with to b : to act in accordance with prevailing standards or customs
Would being 'similar' in value system when it comes to marriage be a bad thing??
would being in agreement or HARMONY be such a bad thing when in the context of marriage???
How bout 'conforming to anothers wishes' if you WISH to see them HAPPY....?
How bout acting in accordance with the standard of FIDELITY in a marriage.......
COMPLY
obsolete : to be ceremoniously courteous
2 : to conform, submit, or adapt (as to a regulation or to another's wishes) as required or requested
And being ceremoniously courteous is a bad thing BECAUSE??????? When BOTH people do this....both have a happy marriage.... please see the word 'requested'.....not ORDERED.
BEHAVE
1 : to manage the actions of (oneself) in a particular way
2 : to conduct (oneself) in a proper manner
intransitive verb
1 : to act, function, or react in a particular way
2 : to conduct oneself properly
- be·hav·er noun
If you have no intentions of behaving......then I can understand why you wouldn't want to OBEY in the first place.......
OBEDIENT
: submissive to the restraint or command of authority : willing to obey
- obe·di·ent·ly adverb
synonyms OBEDIENT, DOCILE, TRACTABLE, AMENABLE mean submissive to the will of another. OBEDIENT implies compliance with the demands or requests of one in authority . DOCILE implies a predisposition to submit readily to control or guidance . TRACTABLE suggests having a character that permits easy handling or managing . AMENABLE suggests a willingness to yield or to cooperate either because of a desire to be agreeable or because of a natural open-mindedness
In every marriage......each is supposed to SUBMIT to the other....that is the only way it works.......and YES....marriage WILL have restraint.....you are to restrain from putting anything BEFORE your marriage.....to restrain from having sex with anybody but your SPOUSE....
but the more important ones are TRACTABLE and AMENABLE.......
I generally find that the first one who has a problem in OBEYING doesn't really understand the flexibility in the word......and even if they do, and still has a problem with it....they're probably going to be the first one to betray the union......
Just my opinion...I could be wrong....I'm still going to use it in my ceremony......That is, if I can find a woman who understands what the word OBEY means.... | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 5:56:29 AM | Hmmm......
Don't cheat on me. Don't you cheat on me either. Seems if they "obeyed" each other we wouldn't have so many damned problems today. Besides, if I tell my fella to take his clothes off, I expect him to do it, IMMEDIATELY! | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:39:09 AM | OBEY TO NO ONE!, you are a human being and no one has that right to control your life, that message is far fetched. If your being obediant like a dog then i think you need to rethink your relationship | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 2:45:45 PM | | how about love, honour and work together? i don't really want anyone to obey me, and i certainly won't be obeying anyone... but i do believe in marriage (but if someone does not want to ever get married, that's fine too). | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 3:13:14 PM | Wikipedia - Marriage vows: "Marriage vows are promises made by the bride and groom to each other during a wedding ceremony. In Western culture, these promises have traditionally included the notions of affection ("love, comfort, keep"), faithfulness ("forsaking all others"), unconditionality ("for richer or for poorer", "in sickness and in health"), and permanence ("as long as we both shall live", "until death do us part"). Most wedding vows are taken from traditional religious ceremonies. ..Some couples choose to write their own vows, rather than relying on standard ones spoken by the celebrant."
Love, honor and (obey, cherish, keep) would be the traditional notions of affection.
Metallic Blue laid the answer out eloquently in his post on page 2 in this thread. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 59 | |
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~Joy~
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Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 60 | |
| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 3:32:29 PM | I think that Obey stuff went out 40 years ago or more in weddings...I dont' think it really means anything anymore...because if a man told me I had to obey him because he had "papers" on me, I would laugh in his face!
Respect...it's mutual...respect me and I respect you. We should ask what does respect mean to the other person. There was a man who said I disrespected him because I dared have a different opinion...so it is relative to ones belief of the meaning of the word...
Anyway, I obey my conscience. | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 3:48:10 PM | Which one was expected to obey, the husband or the wife ? Is it a Fem/dom relationship ? If so, maybe the husband wants it that way ? HMMMMMMMMMM
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Sigi
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Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 62 | |
| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 4:08:46 PM |
To love, honor and respect ?
To love, honor and promise lots of sex ?
To love, honor and respect that sex is important :)
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 4:12:53 PM | ''Wikipedia - Marriage vows: "Marriage vows are promises made by the bride and groom to each other during a wedding ceremony. In Western culture, these promises have traditionally included the notions of affection ("love, comfort, keep"), faithfulness ("forsaking all others"), unconditionality ("for richer or for poorer", "in sickness and in health"), and permanence ("as long as we both shall live", "until death do us part"). Most wedding vows are taken from traditional religious ceremonies''
The vows are worthless amongst many men and women. Pretty sad.
'^^^^^Post 62 , that is good!! | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 5:32:04 PM | | LMAO.....the Pastor who married my ex and I did 6 weeks of councilling before we wed. The day of the wedding, he said a few short words, told my ex to cherish and love me, protect and provide for me.....and then he looked at me, put his hands over mine and said...."for God's sake, OBEY him" I laughed then and I still giggle about it now. I didn't think he knew me that well after such a short time | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 8:42:02 PM | | How about, Obey the time honored tradition and principals of a monogamous relationship. Words do change meaning over time. Take the word Virgin for example, its origanal meaning was only that you have never been married. Of course in those days no one ever had sex until they were married, lol.... | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/16/2006 9:32:11 PM | Has anybody ever heard of a ship with two Captains? Or how about a country with two presidents? Why do you think that is? My theroy is that there has to be one person with the final call on matters of importance, and the other to back them. If that is not realized in a relationship, then it is doomed from the start and should be terminated asap.
Just my 2 cents | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/17/2006 3:10:06 AM | Maybe I'm just being bull headed and all but Obey? That will be taken out of the ceremony when I get married. Love, honor, and cherish sure. Obey, are you kidding????? lol | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 11/17/2006 10:25:52 AM | I've heard that at a couple of weddings and I cringe. That wouldn't happen on my clock. I would know what was being said before hand and/or write my own vows because that's more personal.
If it somehow got thrown in there I would probably bark and say I do but not to that part.  Seriously I probably would | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 1/28/2007 2:33:05 PM | With all of the divorces we see nowadays, do these vows really mean anything? Look at how many married couples actually don't love, honor, or obey their spouses. Maybe people SHOULD do those things, but they don't always.
Obeying though is iffy. I think people should LISTEN their spouses, but not necessarily do everything they tell them to do. I guess it's all based on the assumption that spouses always have the best interests of their mates in mind. | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:15:06 PM | I feel a man should be in control and responsible for the well being of his wife and family (household). Though there are many men who do not, a man who truely does take the responsability wants to do a good job and be successful since the family will reflect wether he is a good dominant provider or just a bully wanting control. I dont think there is a woman on the planet who would not love and appreciate a man who takes charge and makes her feel safe in his charge and protection...however if a man is wise he will hear what his wife thinks and feels and take it into account, because two minds are always better than one. The problem was not Eve tempting Adam, it was adam not being able to resist and descide for himself. A strong woman is a blessing but only if she has a man who can handle it. | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 2/3/2008 8:50:24 PM | Anyone who even breathes a suggestion of wanting OBEY? Is sending a VERY VERY STRONG signal of future intent to ABUSE.
Besides, marriage is completely meaningless, it means two people are happy together for the moment and nothing more.
The fact two people have fallen in love is wonderful , but I think the expectation that it is going to last is very silly and unrealistic in this day and age. Marriage is certainly no protection against the partner cheating, so safe sex standards with full dental dams and condoms for oral sex should still be considered as fully necessary - along with keeping up the 3 monthly testing for stds....
A man should always insist on a DNA test for any child at birth, TRUST is a very very silly thing to do. The very last person you should ever trust is the person closest to you. There is no such thing as LOVE it is a fantasing romantic concept that is all.
Honour is simply an expression of common decent manners and common courtesy
Cherish is a sweet word, possible only for the duration of the honeymoon, then the gloves and all bets are off.
For better or for worse - means A DOWNHILL slide into ever more horrific and previously unimaginable levels of worse. It does not get better until you leave.
In sickness and in health - most men take off if the woman gets sick, if he gets sick, chronically, forever - will you be glad you traded your life when you look back? I only regret the time I stuck by the person I believed was ill - it was a bung on....leaving cures like nothing else.
When my mother-in-law suggested one partner should lead and the other follow?
I said well, I would rather he walked beside me as an equal, but if HE wants to follow, I would be dissapointed - but he can if he wants to! | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 2/3/2008 9:04:50 PM | | i will never promise that again... i am too true to my word and that can be used against me, i've found | |
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| To love, honor, and... OBEY?!?
Posted: 2/3/2008 9:28:21 PM | Oh, sure, I'd be happy to promise in front of 200 of our closest friends, and God and everybody, to obey. Yeah, no prob.
Any guy who seriously thought that would be part of our wedding vows, hasn't met me and has no business imagining marrying me. | |
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