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| Cross your legs until he cancels his POF account#2!
Posted: 4/14/2007 11:05:54 PM | I met my ex wife on the internet 8 years ago, pretty uncommon then. I was talking to other girls at the time as well. When we got serious, I stopped going to all the sites I went to that I knew people. I knew how easy it was to meet other people and if it was going to be me and her, it was just going to be me and her. She didn't have to ask, I did it on my own accord and would do it again in the future. I was happy with her, she was the one I wanted. If I wanted to keep looking then whey would I even think of getting married.
It really is a no brainer. | |
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| Cross your legs until he cancels his POF account#2!
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:52:49 PM | PassionateOne, I agree with you 100% "....there has to be a element of trust and that goes both ways..." If I found her here..... I would drop my account, unless she wanted to have fun with me on the forums. My attention would be entirely with her.
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Stelta
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Joined: 2/22/2007
Msg: 352 | |
| Cross your legs until he cancels his POF account#2!
Posted: 4/15/2007 9:30:01 PM |
I must think in an old-fashioned way. I would never demand a guy to remove his profile. If we are supposed to be exclusive and he has a profile up on a dating site (not a forum or message board), then I'd know he's just playing with me and would never take him seriously. If I have to demand he remove his profile, he is not that into me.
Yep the above rings true, couldnt have put it better myself. I would never demand him to remove his profile, but he can be sure that there would be NO WAY he would get anything from me!  | |
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Stelta
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Joined: 2/22/2007
Msg: 354 | |
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| Cross your legs until he cancels his POF account#2!
Posted: 5/12/2007 6:23:50 AM | How much does a paying site cost? If a man is really serious wouldn't he at least cancel those.
I would understand wanting to stay on a free site for the forums, but don't come and tell me you're there for the forums at let's say 40$ a month.
If the guy was on 3 paying sites that's a lot of money just to chat.
I could then afford a chastity belt and throw away the key, not just cross my legs.  | |
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| Cross your legs until he cancels his POF account#2!
Posted: 5/12/2007 6:51:25 AM | So much material here I can't even begin to touch on it all.
My opinion for "some" men (not all) is that these sites have become a form of addiction for them. They thrive on the thrill of getting to be whoever they decide to be. They get some sick pleasure from playing games. The really good ones change up their profiles a little trying different approaches.
Bottom line - be careful with your heart until he shows that he is serious about wanting the long term he says he is. | |
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| Cross your legs until he cancels his POF account#2!
Posted: 5/12/2007 7:07:53 AM | Msg: #335---"he had to be liked by everyone"-- RED FLAG "had one in every town"--yep, the guy was a narcissistic (totally self centered, no empathy, no conscience) player, and they are GOOD--because they don't feel any "guilt" (it is foreign to their concept of being "perfect" and "popular") They need the adoration of women, ALL women to reinforce their concept of being "the STUD"--the "perfect man/person."
He was more upset by WHO told on him than he was by being found out RED FLAG
Very typical--if you catch them in a lie, YOU ARE THE BAD GUY for "snooping"--how dare you listen to your gut and catch them in a lie, cheating, etc.?
I'm not a "snoop" and don't condone jealousy and snooping FOR NO REASON, but if you have a GUT feeling on someone and things don't add up, if there are plenty of "flags" flying, you are a FOOL if you keep on trusting, and denying the flap of the flags in a high wind. Find out the truth. Being overly "jealous" every time he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth you suspect he is calling someone, is not what I am talking about, but REAL red flags.
Actually Private investigators can do a background check quite cheaply. I just hired one to do a background check on the "aid" that was taking care of my mother and living in her home--turned out to have a criminal record 15 pages long for CONVICTIONS including ELDER ABUSE. Cost me $225 was all. Well worth the expense. She didn't want to "lose him" and refused to believe anything until I produced documentation and even then he REFUSED to leave--he was escorted off the premisis and a RESTRAINING order put in place. He did drive off in the new car she had purchased for him--"a loan" of course, but the car was in his name...and no "loan" papers to recover the car or the money.
If a person lies to me--about anything-- it is the ultimate RED FLAG. Players can be very slick, though, and actually convince you that you are being unreasonably jealous or suspicious. Or convince you that a lie is actually the truth--but don't let yourself become a victim. | |
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| Cross your legs until he cancels his POF account#2!
Posted: 5/12/2007 8:56:50 AM | | I agree with the Op,.. if hes a player, yes he can sleep around with others even while hes dating you,.. but if you dont have sex with him, you can walk away when the s*** hits the fan, feeling that at least he didnt screw you over. To Thorn,.. players are players because they are good at it, you say its the womens fault they get played? But you dont condone acting on suspicions..'snooping ' as you call it, stop contradicting yourself man,.. if we are to try and take responsibility to stop someone playing us, then we need to find out if they are or not.. im not saying that you should do this to every man routinely, but like other women here, i say that if your alarm bells are ringing with someone, find out about them. And to the ladies who think that their signifigant others keeping a profile up on a singles site.. is fine because they offered you a password, and its an honest relationship? well Ba ha ha ha ha ! is all i can say, now, that IS naive in the extreme. I agree with the OP and Enough,....yes, when you come on here to date, you take a chance, and you have to be open.. but with in reason.. I tend to only trust someone when time and circumstances have proved them to be trustworthy,.. trust is not something I give and then take away, if I did that, how many times would I be burned? And as for walking away drama free? Oh please, who's been reading too much off a certain book thats concerned with doing things with out Drama,.?? lolol, ladies stop reading self help books and get some common sense,. Just because you want to believe that the opposite sex are trustworthy because they're a 'good' man.. doesnt make it so.. keep your eyes open.. and yes..dare i say it? legs closed.. until you are sure of him.. maybe a little less time spent online between people who are in a relationship is a good thing. youve found someone? Great, Im pleased for you, now switch your pc off or a least delete your profiles from dating sites and have a nice life together, all you people who trust your partners on here because they 'just like the Forums' lolol Boy are you guys in for a rude awakening. if more women did hold out until they got the sort of commitment they wanted, as the OP stated, we wouldnt have this situation of grey areas and uncertainties about, is it okay to still have a profile up when we are dating? Bah humbug! if someone is dating me they damn well better realise I want them to take their profile down,,,and I WILL be checking... Im not daft.. x | |
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| Cross your legs until he cancels his POF account#2!
Posted: 5/12/2007 10:42:33 AM | All this talk about lying being a red flag to spot a player.
Not so.
The real players don't have to tell you lies. unless it is a lie of ommission.
The real players make you believe what you think they said. They make you believe what you want to hear not what they really said. | |
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| Cross your legs until he cancels his POF account#2!
Posted: 5/12/2007 6:32:30 PM | Are here many messages.
I did not read all of them yet.
But I think really using dating sites must not make you a person depended on them.
It is way to find what you are looking for but the life is real.
And is better to live among real people.
I moved last year in USA from Europe and can see here online relation finding friends are very used and somehow usefull. | |
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