Leece
|
Joined: 10/9/2005
Msg: 26 | |
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/18/2006 4:00:49 AM | There's nothing worse than a violent abusive drunk and the only way to deal with one is to leave them!
My ex had an alcohol problem and at his worst he was verbally and mentally abusive and became at the end physically abusive... which was when I showed him the door. My fear was it was one thing to beat on me, but how soon would it be before he started beating on our boys.
Fortunately me ending the relationship kicked him into touch and two years after we separated he began to clean up his act. He hasn't touched a drop in the last 4 years that I know of and the person I cared for has returned.
We're good friends now and he's a pleasure to be around and a fabulous dad. | |
|
| |
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/18/2006 4:16:07 AM | | Hellynuk: sorry to hear what you have been through....i have been down the same route as your ex and have caused devastation and wreckage in my past. It takes everyone to turn their backs on you so you can reach that rock bottom as an alcoholic..that is where you need to be to begin to recover...Its called tough love !! May you find happiness and i wish for you everything you wish for yourself !! To everyone else.....dont get involved with an ACTIVE alcoholic....we are selfish and self centred sick people and will go through anyone and anything to feed this addiction !! | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/18/2006 5:59:40 AM | Definitely pains, they only ever succeed in embarrassing themselves.
Go to a wedding, or any function, some idiot with too much to drink is always making a mockery of themselves ruining everybody elses fun. | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/18/2006 9:54:50 AM | My dad was an alcoholic and it was awful..... violence, self pity and abandonment was the norm.
He sobered up just before he died and he was ashamed for how he had been, i forgave him as its an illness, he was unhappy and it was his way of coping i guess.... its just a shame he couldnt be a dad when it mattered and he couldnt enjoy being a dad when it mattered...due to his drinking we both missed out on so much. | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/18/2006 10:10:12 AM | My Ex was an alcoholic and he had projectile vomit whilst unconscious with the booze…if I hadn’t been awake to push him onto his side…well it could have been a different situation. This terrified me incase one of my kids, who were very young at the time found him.
I walked out the next day. No matter how I felt about him, my kids came first. I have never regretted that decision.
He continues to abuse alcohol where as my kids are now in higher education and looking forward to life.
Still a single parent but happy with my life. Had a few relationships over the years but continue to seek someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with. This being said, my kids remain the most important part of my life to me and their successes my highest achievement.
 | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/18/2006 11:20:12 AM | Yes...........my ex step father was one. Was it fun? No! Was he a pain to be around? I wouldnt call it a pain........I would of called it hell!
I also have to say in relation to what vin was saying.........I'm a smoker............I can honestly (with my hand on my heart) swear that I do not get ratty or even remotely aggresive if I dont have a cig! If I dont have one I dont! Simple! I only smoke around 10 a day and I couldnt even try and smoke more than that! I work in an environment where I couldnt smoke during my working hours if I wanted and so I have one in the morning before work at about 7.30 and then dont have one till after work at 5 or 6 pm! No time during that period do I feel stressed if I dont have one! But I do know ppl who do get like you say but thats just not the case with all of us smokers! | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/18/2006 1:05:28 PM | | As a very young child you don`t know any different , but you FEEL very different when you start school and realise all the others kids have nice cake-baking cosy Mums . I don`t know if I loved my Mum . I was terrified of her , she never showed us affection unless she was drunk and that meant being squeezed so hard it hurt and she had her fingernails dug into us as we tired to pull away from the stench of the booze. Then were the hours spent waiting outside pubs with the occasional packet of crisps and a coke brought out to us . The morning would be spent with her roaring at me to get her Andrews for her hangover and a few slaps before I went to school . As a teenager I felt compassion and maybe pity for her .. but as soon as I had my own children and felt THAT monumental LOVE for my newborn babies I lost all respect I had ever had for her . | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/18/2006 1:13:38 PM | MSG 34 You said that you do not get ratty when deprived of your nicotine, but accepted that some smokers do experience such feelings. My post stated:
"Also, I suspect, that most nicotine addicts will have, at one time or another, become irritable as a result of not being able to satisfy their craving for nicotine, which amounts to exactly the same thing ie their addiction caused strain to those around them."
So, we both agreed that not all smokers experience irritability, but that some do. Therefore, I cannot see the point of your post....but thanks for taking the trouble to read mine. | |
|
| |
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/18/2006 3:23:30 PM | | My uncle was an alcoholic, he died 15yrs ago now after 5yrs of serios alchol abuse. He caused the family alot of pain and was always in and out of rehab. My dad and he where twins and it was my poor dad that actually found him dead at the bottom of his stairs . The week before he had broken his arm so at 1st we thought the verdict would be he'd fallen down the stairs and failed to stop himself due to the broken arm, it was actually his body just stopped working ~ where he hadnt eatan properly for months on end, he couldnt actually eat solid food , he couldnt control any bodily functions either. I know my uncle had gone through alot of heartache, the whole family has, memories i do not wish to think about. I just cannot imagne caring for a sibling who is a serious alcholic like my dad did, emptying buckets full of vomit and faeces and bathing them, dressing them putting them in bed, then finding them dead. Anyone who is dealing with it now..... I send you lots of hope. xx | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/18/2006 11:11:46 PM | Interesting to read people’s experiences, there was nothing surprising or unexpected in your true stories. We are informed and our perceptions are based by our experiences in the realities of life.
I disagree with some assumptions that seem to be commonly made:
All alcoholics are violent abusive drunks with violent mood swings.
All alcoholics will make a mockery of themselves whilst embarrassing all around them, and spoil the fun for all at every social opportunity eg weddings.
Heavy Binge drinkers are not alcoholics, alcoholics are only those who are perpetually drunk (topped up).
No physical addiction – alcohol replaces a naturally occuring hormone that it resembles in chemical and physical composition; hence the body reduces the production of the natural substance and the body craves the substitute.
Alcoholic is the only substance where sudden withdrawal can result in death. This is not true for all alcoholics, it depends upon a number of factors:e.g. level/type of alcohol consumed, general health (heart). Heroin withdrawal may be painful and difficult, but never life threatening. Explain this if there is no physiological basis to alcoholism ?
Message 26 macforty: why are you a recovering alcoholic, why not a recovered alcoholic ?
Smile
 | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/19/2006 1:40:05 AM | | Bluepatch: Its my own personal preference to say "recovering" as i look at it as a daily reprieve !! By me saying "recovered" it implies that i was "just having a bad week " and the illness was only temporary (which is way from the truth!!). 1 in 7 people drink alcoholicly .....and the problems getting worse especially with younger kids !! The sooner the stigma of the alcoholic is removed the more weller they can become....hence they have to hide in anonmity (AA).As i said i have good clean time behind me and am at night school on a Counselling Course for people with addictive behaviours...so there is hope for anyone suffering from this dreadful illness....Also for people wishing to recover i have found there is a big difference between "Wanting it" and "Needing it" if you want it you can recover, if you need it your probably just looking for an MOT !! As for people who have posted saying they have lost family through this illness....i say my heart goes out to you, they reached the ultimate rock bottom "death" but they carry a strong message...this illness kills !! | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 10/19/2006 1:48:32 AM | | p.s. To posts re : drunken violence, My ex used to swing for me whenever i had disappeared on a bout of drinking, she give me many a black eye.....and i took it !! I always knew what was in store for me when i got home!!! lol | |
|
| |
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 12/19/2006 2:07:11 PM | My ex is an alcoholic. It was not fun. Too many mood swings, temper tantrums, and nights spent crying on the doorstep. It's not worth it.
There's nothing wrong with drinking as long as its in moderation. If you are dating someone who has their own saved seat at the bar, knows the name of every bartender, and has their drink waiting for them before they even tell the bartender what they want, then RUN. | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 12/19/2006 3:44:29 PM | My mam was an alcoholic...she completely changed personalities from being the nicest mother you could ever wish for...to a complete sadistic witch, not violent...well sometimes...just vindictive....never blamed her though, I understood the hell she was going through, and she'd cry just as much I did when she was sober. She died aged 52 of cirrhossis of the liver two years ago.
It's a terrible affliction, who even the strongest can succomb to. | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 12/20/2006 6:51:57 AM | | My best mate is an alcoholic and i love her to bits for the past 24 years, she is so aggressive toward other people sometimes ,but never with me, as i am an easy going , calm person i don`t pick on people like she does when we are out, and i have to calm the situation when she starts, she`s very distrustful of men , but thats another story, she chases her b/f with hammers and knives, and i worry she will do real damage one day, she needs anger managment, and she accepts she has a problem but doesn`t want to do anything about it, she shakes if she doesnt have a drink, so i`d say she was an addict, alcohol is a drug, and saying all addicts are aggresive ect is wrong ,i was addicted to drugs all my life until recently, and it has never changed my personallity, i have never fought with anyone, annoyed anyone, or started a fight, i was a happy druggy , i mind my own business, but having said that i`m sorta glad i have stopped, speed and e`s were my drug and i could have taken an over dose and not realised, taken a heart attack ect, but with alcohol or drugs you don`t realise the long term damage its doing until its to late, have offered to go to AA with her but she won`t go, she can also be a very caring person too, so if shes done something wrong you don`t hold a grudge, she could charm the birds out of the trees when she wants | |
|
| |
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 3/1/2008 2:37:34 AM | | my x wife is a alcoholic she has been since the age of 17 , when we first meet i thought she just like a good time but after 17 half yrs of marriage i couldnt take any more ,me or the drink she chose the drink ,when she was sober she is the most loving person but few drinks she total diffierent couldnt count the amount of times she attacked me with knifes, pans, anything in her hands ,i come home from work and my clothes would be all over the bed my lad had collected them from out side where she thrown them out the window that would be regular i had to pad lock my wardrobe ,she cut the sleeves off my shirts ripped my jeans, | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:23:28 AM | Yes Alcoholics are a pain!! But in their sober times they can be the best partner in the world, I know this from bitter experience.
MSG37
Binge drinkers atleast persistant ones, are Alcoholics.
When I was with my ex, I lived under the mistaken assumption that an Alcoholic was a person who had Vodka or whatever, for breakfast and could not function through a day without drink as a crutch. This I think is very much the kind of picture that most people have of an Alcoholic. How wrong I and many of us are.
An Alcholic is someone who is POWERLESS over alcohol.
My ex could sometimes go for upto 2 weeks without a drink when she had something to focus on or enjoy but once she started, i.e. an innocent lunchtime half on a sunny day she couldn't leave until she was out off it. many a time I would be called to collect her as she was asleep or being disruptive, and I had t carry her out over my shoulder with herhissing and spitting like a scolded cat. I also had to make sure I had put plastic on the bed and sofa to catch any accident she was bound to have when she fell asleep.
Once she finally admitted she was an Alcohlic there followed 10 months of self distruction, changing from lager in a pub to bottles of cheap cider around other drinkers houses with no thought for the consequences. It was only when social services became involved and took her daughter away and I had finished with her (one of the hardest things I have ever done) that she got herself together, she finally gained acceptance of her illness.
As was said previously, a person needs to reach rock bottom before they can rebuild there life.
She is still fighting hard but there has been a major reversal. Pre rehab (Aug 07) her life was 98% drunk now it is 98% sober with only the occasional slip from which she get straight back up from.
The woman I feel in love with is back and whilst I will need continuing evidence of her recoveryto satisfy myself I won't be returning to hell, I d not rule out the prospect of getting back together with her. She knows my feelings for the 'sober' her still remain, and we have remained very good friends through out.
But I know she will always be a Recovering Alcoholic that is to say an Alcoholic who choses not to drink at this particular time. Onlyu time will tell. | |
|
| Alcoholics....fun and frolics or pains to be around.
Posted: 3/1/2008 7:32:11 AM | I have no problem admitting I WAS ROCKETING down this road foot firmly on the accelerator.. and have to say it is refreshing to see some enlightenment on this issue .. as the biggest problem is ...you don't know your on the slope ... NO seroiusly you don't ..you can blame everything in the world (and belive it or not there is ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS an excuse ... ) and usually to the individual It is 100% valid. Personally I exchanged going out with my mates due to financial reasons to having a few cans in the house ...easiest trap in the world to fall into ..you know "hey if i was going out I'd be spending £30 £40 quid etc ... " went fron having 4 cans while cooking a nice curry on a friday night to 8 cans MINIMUM per day ... you know the CHILL OUT FACTOR lol ...trouble is i used to finish work at 3.30 no commitments etc.. went to the pub for 1 or 2 pints then go home get ready to go out on the night ..... the BIG gap between that time is ok .. trouble is you get older you stop going out finances etc)and stay at home watch telly sit on the net and become a fat b******d ... so the cans in the house become THE NORM.... and you don't go out and have your "realease" so to speak ... yeah what ever ... old habits and all that ... excuses ...
My personal remedy came down to a friend of mine telling me ... "you know what now your back to normal now ..."If you come out we will see you if not we won't" ... so you work out ..do you wanna stay in and drink EVERYDAY or go out meet new people and socialise ... and it brings it home to you that hey....IT AINT THE DRINK..that makes me feel better IT'S ME .... I can now quite happily have a couple of cans when I come home... of leave them in the fridge.(couldn't do that before lol) and now maybe Friday or Saturday "if the Rugby is on" but i don't have the HABIT anymore ...just like smoking which i still do ...lol NEXT ON THE LIST TRUST ME LOL | |
|
Home
login 
